


DNA

by BlazeRuko



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Anxiety Attacks, But they don't know any better, Centipedes are gross, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Drowning, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Gakuhou is a dick, Gakushuu has to be perfect, Gakushuu is kind of a messed up kid, Humiliation, I always forget what to tag when I start tagging, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Karasuma is an abusive drunk, Karma is kinda OOC, Karma would like to keep his dick, Manipulation, Multi, Pseudo-Incest, Psychological Torture, Self-Harm, Slight water torture...?, So is Karma, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Violence, okay more than kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 174,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9340106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlazeRuko/pseuds/BlazeRuko
Summary: His entire childhood, Karma was taught to submit. "Everything is because he loves me: the abuse, the yelling, the screaming, the breaking, the isolation, the chains. All because he loves me, I was bad, and I need to let him love and protect me because he wants what’s best for me and I love him."xxGrowing up, Gakushuu Asano watched his father torment his mother, soon the abuse started for him as well. He was never allowed to be less than perfect. "If I made even one mistake, he was right there to correct me… corrections--beatings--were painful and often quite long, but I dealt with it. I wanted to be strong like my father, not weak like my mother. He made me who he wanted me to be--molded me perfectly to his more than perfect standards. And I met them all eventually."xxI thought you could stop DNA… I did. But I was wrong. We were all wrong. And this fucked up family we've made couldn’t possibly get any more wrong.xx(Or, where Karma and Gakushuu come from abusive homes and unfortunately grow up the same way as their parents).





	1. He Loves Us

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ This was originally meant for Karushuu Week, Day 7 (Family), but obviously I did not post it, nor any of the others I wrote. I have so many unposted works in the AssClass fandom that I want to post, but I don't post them for a multitude of reasons. Mainly because I have such bad anxiety and paranoia! But I'm working on it, which is why I'm posting this, and hopefully a few others eventually.
> 
> This will be a multi-chaptered fic because I have absolutely no self-control when writing~ Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> WARNING: This fic gets kinda fucked up. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but... shit happened and I just kind of rolled with it

It’s not the first time I wake up to screaming, and it certainly won’t be the last. “YOU BITCH! What the hell did I say about talking to that piece of shit!?”

“He just wanted to see, Karma, honey,” she cries, sounding so, so broken. Mommy… it’s okay. Please don’t cry.

“I don’t give a shit about him or your damn son! If his dad wanted to see him, he should have thought about that before he _left_ you!” Yeah… Dad walked out on Mommy and me, but I don’t know why. One day he was there, and the next day just… poof. Gone. I… I miss him. Why won’t he let me see him? At least he cares… he meets me after school, and talks to me and plays with me. But not this man… with his sinister, angry dark grey eyes and jet black hair… he’s evil. 

He continues screaming, and I have had enough. I get out of bed and storm out front to the living room where my mommy is on the ground, and Tadaomi is towering over her. She’s bleeding. “Stay the fuck away from my mom!” I don’t care if I’m only 10; I’ll clean this mother fucker’s clock--or die trying. 

“KARMA, NO!” But it’s too late to turn back: I hit, kick, bite, and scratch. He merely laughs, easily dodging me. Then I kick him in the balls because fuck him, that’s why. When he falls to his knees, I rush over to Mommy and she holds me close. “Baby, go back to bed. Don’t worry about Mommy.”

Tadaomi is up now, fuming and ready to hit me, but the blow never comes… to me. He hits Mommy. “If you ever get in between me and your mother again, I will kill her. _And_ your dad. Do I make myself clear?” Mommy is loosely holding my hand and I don’t know what to say… I don’t want them to die. “Karma,” he seethes, “Answer me.”

Mommy sits up, looking at me with her black eye, bloody nose, and swollen face. “Karma, baby. Just say yes, okay?” I nod, obeying her, looking up at him with a nasty glare as I do so. Which earns my mother another smack. “Not in front of him!”

So the evil man pulls me up by my shirt collar, putting me in his face and spitting as he speaks. “You better behave, or else you’ll be my bitch too.” I spit in his face because Mommy is not a bitch and I’d rather me get hurt than her. His eye twitches and he throws me on the ground, wailing on my ass with his hand. I cry, but I do not give him the satisfaction of screaming. I take it… even though it hurts like hell… I take it.

“STOP!” Mommy screams, her voice shrill and broken. “TADAOMI STOP IT!” But he pushes her away, still beating me with the other hand. The last thing I see is his fist coming towards my face when everything goes black.

Later that night, I wake up in bed… not my bed. I’m sandwiched in between Mommy and Tadaomi. Her long, blonde hair tickles my nose, but I don’t care. I love her. When I move to get closer to her, I find myself in extreme pain… but I fight through it… I want Mommy. Her eyes open and she jolts away, wincing, but then smiling when she realizes it’s me. “Baby, don’t ever defy your father again. I--

“He’s not my father,” I whisper back, not wanting him to wake up. “I miss Daddy…”

“Sweetie, Tadaomi is your father now… Makoto left us.” I open my mouth to protest, but then remember he told me not to tell anyone we were meeting. “Mommy loves Tadaomi… he was there when no one else was. Can you please be a good boy for him? Please baby?” What? Why would she love someone who hurts her!? Why would she love a monster?! “I know he hurts me, but… sometimes it’s better to take the pain and submit when he drinks. It’s only when he’s drunk, baby… you know this. He’s a good person when he’s sober. Takes care of us, buys us what we need.”

“But… Mommy, he hits you. And hurt me.”

“Mommy did something bad… so she deserved that. And I don’t want him to hurt you ever again, baby… so that’s why I need you need to be good. Can you do that for Mommy?” It’s dark, but it’s not hard to see the desperation in her now bruised eyes. Poor Mommy. “Honey, I know it’s hard, but… I love him. Sometimes people have to put up with things they don’t like for the people they love.”

My eyes start spilling tears because I don’t want Mommy hurt… I can’t let her do this. “But Mommy… it hurts seeing you like this. You didn’t deserve this. You never deserve this, Mommy.” I hug her tightly and just cry.

“I did… I talked to your father when I was told not to. I disobeyed him… things will be better in the morning. When you wake up, be sure to tell him you love him and give him a hug. Now go to sleep.”

So I do… and when I wake up, it’s better. Tadaomi is smiling, Mommy is smiling, and I am trying to forget everything he did. I’m trying to forget the pain he puts my mommy through and just get through today. As I hug him and tell him I love him, I try to pretend that we’re a happy family… he smiles, kisses my head, and tells me he loves me too. _Happy family. Happy Family. I love him. I love Mommy._

And that night… he drinks again… I lay awake in bed, listening to him scream and hurt Mommy. She says it’s best to submit… because she loves him. Do I do that too? I must, because Mommy does. So I get up out of bed and quietly walk to where he’s sitting on the couch while Mommy cries on the floor. “Dad…” I speak softly and he glances over, eyes bloodshot and whiskey bottle in his hand. “I love you… can you please stop hurting Mommy?”

He laughs and Mommy just looks at me, telling me to go away with her eyes. But… Mommy shouldn’t have to go through this alone. “C’mere, son.” Venom laces his tone, and I know I’ll get hurt if I listen, but I do it anyway. He pulls me on his lap and holds me, leering at my mother like she’s worse than dog shit. All the while, she’s crying, silently begging him not to hurt me. When I lock eyes with my mother, she looks so, so terrified. “Karma…” he murmurs in my ear. I can almost taste the alcohol on his breath.

“Dad…?” I try to keep my cool, trying not to break out into tears.

“This is what happens when you disobey me, okay?” He motions to my mother’s sprawled out, beaten, bruised body. I just nod, not wanting Mommy to get hurt again. “If you _ever_ defy me by seeing Makoto after school again; this will be you, do I make myself clear?” Shit… he found out. Oh fuck. Mommy’s eyes widen and I just nod again, rigidly… but I refuse to not see Daddy… we’ll have to change the meeting place. “Good boy.” He kisses my head and then sets me down, getting up and leaving. “Sleep out here on the floor tonight, bitch. Have the blood and shit clean by morning.”

Mommy nods, trying to get up, “Karma, when did you get in touch with him?”

“He showed up at school last year… he said he loves me and wants to be in my life.”

“Baby, do _not_ see him again… Tadaomi will be angry. I don’t want this to be you, too.”

I smile, kissing her forehead. “Mommy… you need to go back to Daddy. He says he wants to be with us.”

But she shakes her head, “No… no baby, I love Tadaomi. So do you. We’re a family now… no more Makoto.” Why would she not like Daddy? Daddy misses Mommy… 

“He hurts you, Mommy… if you love someone, you--

“You do everything you can to make them happy. You get through and look past the bad times, and then you treasure the good times.” I still don’t get it. What is she saying? “The pain is worth it. I love him dearly, and the pain is worth the good times. The point is, your dad left us… and Tadaomi saved us. He saved us from the streets. We owe him our lives. Now tomorrow morning, I want you to hug and kiss your father, tell him you love him, and _never_ see your dad again. He doesn’t love you, baby… he left us, and--

“Daddy loves me!” I protest, “He said he was forced to leave and that he was sorry. He wants to be a family a--

She hugs me tight and I just stop talking, not really understanding what’s going on. “Your father left because he loved another family more… and then the whore he was cheating with left him.” No… Daddy wouldn’t… he couldn’t! “Now he realizes he fucked up… but it’s too late. Don’t see him again, Karma. I mean it. Tadaomi wasn’t kidding, baby.”

I nod, but have no intention of doing so… she’s lying. Daddy loves us. On my way back to my room, I see Tadaomi exiting the bathroom and he just pets my head, grabbing my hand and taking me to his bedroom. We don’t say anything; he just puts me on the bed and strips down to his boxers before joining me. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he says softly, pulling my body into his and holding me close. “Baby boy, I don’t… so, please be a good boy, Karma. I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad.” And I do… I just wish he didn’t hurt Mommy or me. But… I can’t just stop talking to Daddy… I’ll talk to him. I’m sure all this is just a misunderstanding and we can be happy with my Daddy and Mommy and Tadaomi too. Daddy loves me… he does.

The next day, things are better… after school, I talk to my dad. He won’t answer any of my questions… and then Tadaomi shows up. He’s gonna kill me later. But right now, he’s yelling at Daddy. And then… Daddy confesses everything. Everything Mommy said was true. Then he tries to attack me; saying I’m his and Tadaomi can’t have me; it really hurt when he grabbed my arm, and it hurt even more when he said I was nothing more than a check. I leave with Tadaomi, crying my eyes out. “Baby, I love you… I’m sorry this happened.”

And that night… he doesn’t drink… he holds me and tells me everything is going to be okay. That he’ll get sober. Mommy isn’t there… he says she went out. The next day I have Tadaomi pick me up because Daddy tries to talk to me. And the next day I just expect Tadaomi to be there and he is. He doesn’t drink as much… and Mommy is home off and on. Soon we fall into a nice pattern, and he only sometimes hurts Mommy, and me when I’m bad. But it’s not bad, and it’s not often. Besides… he’s saved my life twice now. Maybe he’s not as evil as I thought…


	2. Because He Loves Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half to Karma's childhood/teen years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiiiiiit. Thanks for all the feedback~ I will get around to replying to comments eventually! It's now after 5 in the morning... I couldn't sleep, so I worked on this. It was originally pretty short and summarized considering this was meant to be a oneshot, so I was able to add more substance since I decided to make this a multi-chaptered fic.

Things were decent for a few months… and all the while I watched and listened to my parents. Mommy continued saying to me that love trumps all else--that even though Tadaomi is abusive, he loves us and is only doing as what he sees is best for us. Because he loves us he can hurt us, and because we love him we allow it. That’s how it works… Mommy has taught me a lot. And Tadaomi loves us a lot.

Even as he beats my ass because I got into a fight at school and broke some kid’s nose… I know he loves me. He’s doing this because he cares and wants what’s best for me. 

After those months… Tadaomi lost it; he became a monster again. He beat Mommy within an inch of her life because she’d been talking to Daddy again. They’d been making plans to run away with me behind Tadaomi’s back. He was really, really mad. And so was I because she kept telling me Daddy was no good… that he didn’t love us. That I was supposed to love Tadaomi.

The drinking got worse… the abuse got worse. Mommy said she loved Tadaomi, but needed to be with my daddy so I would be raised right. I couldn’t go to school after that… we moved away. Tadaomi kept us on a leash; we weren’t allowed far, and we couldn’t talk to strangers. Mommy said to go along with it because he was only trying to protect us--that he loved us. And Mommy got beat a lot. I also realized they were having sex a lot more… and I don’t think it was consensual. But Mommy said that because they were married and in love that it was always consensual. I guess she submitted there, too.

They hammered it into my head to submit because Tadaomi loves me. He loves me and wants what’s best for me. I was bad so this has to happen. If you love someone, you submit to them because they’re protecting you; they want what’s best for you; they’re just drunk; they don’t know what they’re doing; they love you. 

_He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. HE LOVES ME._

_You love him. You love him. You love him. You love him. YOU LOVE HIM._

_Happy family. Happy family. Happy family. You all love each other. No matter what._

xx.

_**He loves me.**_

I was sent home from school one day, and later that night he flipped. "How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to get into fights!?" Tadaomi screamed, dragging me by my hair through the halls and to my room as I cried. I knew it was my fault… but I was just so angry that some bastard two grades ahead of me said Mommy had a nice rack and he’d fuck her ‘til she screamed. She got enough of that shit and no one else could hurt her! _NO ONE!_ But Tadaomi wouldn’t listen to what I had to say because _I was bad… I was bad and I deserved the pain._

Once there, he slammed me up against the wall and punched me wherever he could reach: my sides, my ribs, my tummy, my face. Then I fell, and he just started kicking me, stomping on me, yelling that I was a bad boy and needed to be taught a lesson. It hurt like hell and I felt close to passing out… but I took it. I took it like they told me to. All I could think was:

**He’s beating me because he loves me.**

Mommy was screaming and screaming, saying it hurt and that she’d be good from then on if he would just stop. But Tadaomi wouldn’t stop. Hearing her shrill screams and pained cries… I couldn’t take it. Even though I knew Mommy would say she deserved it later, I intervened anyway: I rushed in and found Mommy on the bed, tied up and bleeding while Tadaomi was behind her, holding a whip and… _raping_ her. It wasn’t roleplay, it wasn’t a kink… this was _real_. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but it was the first time I walked in on it. I found myself asking if love was really meant to be so painful and brutal. Seeing the red, bleeding lines on Mommy’s back; seeing the blood dripping down her thighs; hearing how much pain she was in; I could fucking _smell_ the blood. 

For the first time in a while… I lost it. Married and in love or not, I couldn’t just stand by and watch Mommy get raped! I ran to them and started hitting him in the back, begging him to stop. That if he stopped, he could hurt me all he wanted. Mommy was too weak to say anything, and she didn’t even look at me… so he merely tossed her aside and grabbed me by my throat, holding me up to his face while I gasped for air--air I couldn't get because he was so _kindly_ choking me. The alcohol was strong on his breath, I almost threw up at how rank it smelled. Tadaomi said no words, he simply slammed me against the wall so hard I saw stars.

Next thing I knew, I was chained to the wall by my wrists, and I was in _excruciating_ pain. My back felt like it was on fire, and I could feel the blood dripping down my body. I couldn’t see him or anything, just the wall that my head banged into with every strike. The pain just kept getting worse and worse, and it didn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. It hurt so fucking bad; the crack of the whip and screaming were deafeningly loud. There was so much screaming. I didn’t know how someone could scream so fucking loud… and then I realized it was me. _I_ was screaming. Every time the crack of the whip sounded, and my back was struck, my screaming only grew louder. During all this, I was grateful to him… grateful he chose me instead of Mommy: 

**He’s whipping me because he loves me.**

I met a girl at the park when I was 13… she wasn’t really cute, and I wasn’t attracted to her, and she acted more like a boy than anything else. But she reminded me of Mommy--who had just recently left me and Daddy--with her long blond hair and pretty blue eyes, so when she asked me out… I said yes. She was kind of a brat, and she always wanted her way… she said because I was her boyfriend I had to do whatever she said, and I listened because that’s what couples were supposed to do, and I didn’t want her to beat me. When she told me to hold her hand, I did it. When she told me to hug her, I did it. One day, when she told me to meet her behind the shed after she got out of school, I did it; when she told me to kiss her, I did it; when she told me to touch her body… I did it. 

Only… Daddy was watching. He was always watching me and following me back then to make sure I wouldn’t leave like Mommy. As soon as she tried to put her hand down my pants, he called me and told me to get my ass to the front of the school in one minute or else he would never let me leave the house again; I did it without question. I left her all alone there and didn’t look back as I ran to where I knew my daddy would be. Since we were in front of people, he merely grabbed my hand and led me to his car.

The whole ride home, we were silent… I wasn’t really sure what I did that was so wrong, but I knew he was upset, so I did not speak until I was spoken to. He parked the car in the garage, which was when he finally spoke. "Go to your room. No technology." His voice was cold, and he would not look at me.

"Yes sir." I did as I was told, rushing upstairs and sitting in the corner because obviously I was bad and had done something to deserve isolation and to be treated coldly. I don’t know how long I sat there, but soon Daddy came in with a scowl on his face and a knife in hand. My eyes went wide, and I nearly started crying because what had I done to make him so angry? “D-Daddy…?” My bottom lip quivered because I thought death was my punishment due to how dark and angry he looked.

He pulled me by my hair, pushing me against the wall, chaining me by my wrists before straddling me and putting the knife to my neck; the blade was cold against my skin, and I could just barely feel the skin beginning to break. "Do you know what you did wrong?" In fear of getting split open from shaking my head, I mustered the strongest 'no' I could manage. Thankfully he believed me and retracted the knife slightly, his unwavering dark eyes boring into my own. "Karma, you are not allowed to touch anyone else like that," he snarled. 

First I didn’t get it, but then I realized that maybe touching Rio like that… wasn’t okay? I mean, I’d seen Mommy and Daddy touch like that, and Daddy had been doing some of those same things to me when he was drunk, so I thought it wasn’t bad… but I guess it was, huh? Oops. "I r-really di-didn’t know!"

"The only person you can be intimate with is _me_ , do I make myself clear?" What? It’s only okay with Daddy? Well, I knew he’d said that to Mommy, so I should have figured it must have applied to me, too. Clearly he loved me, and just wanted me to know I belonged to him… so that was why me touching her and her touching me was wrong. I belonged to Daddy. So I nodded, still trying not to cry, what with the knife just millimeters from cutting me. "Just to be sure…" He started cutting my hands, making small slices that stung, but didn’t hurt too bad. Then he moved the knife down to my chest, swirling it around before really slicing me from my sternum all the way to my belly button.

I cried at that one, whimpering a bit when he started going lower, blood dripping down with it and soaking into my pants. "If I see someone else try to touch you here… I will cut it off." I nodded hastily, not wanting him to cut my dick off. "Such a good boy." And then he did something unexpected… he caressed my face with the knife, and then he _kissed_ me… right on the lips. Before I could reciprocate, he sliced my cheek and I whimpered into his mouth, which he took advantage of by slipping his tongue inside. No alcohol… he was seriously just jealous and pissed at me for being with Rio.

And that was understandable… anyone seeing the person they love with someone else would be infuriating. So as he sliced different areas of my body while kissing my lips so lovingly, I got it… I understood it… 

**He’s cutting me because he loves me.**

I picked myself up off the floor, looking around to find my vision blurry… reaching up to touch my eye, I found it swollen and painful to the touch. What had happened…? At the time I couldn’t recall, but eventually my mind came up to speed: Daddy got mad when I called Mommy and told her I missed her; Daddy got drunk because he didn’t believe me when I said I still loved him more than Mommy; I tried to help him calm down by kissing him and telling him I loved him with all my heart; and Daddy punched me in the face so hard it knocked me out.

Clearly I was in the wrong by calling Mommy… even if I did love her, I should have appreciated the man who was always showing me love, even when he didn’t have to. Unlike Mommy, Tadaomi never left me… he told me he’d always stay by my side and love me no matter what. And Mommy… she just yelled at me when I called, saying I needed to leave Daddy. But I could _never_ leave the man who raised me when my biological father left, and continued raising me even after my own mother left. That would have been wrong… so, so wrong. 

I went to the bathroom to check my eye out, finding it very much bruised… ugly and puffy; gold irises surrounded by bloodshot scleras. How could Daddy ever love this? Why was I so bad? Why did I not appreciate Daddy more? That was the moment I vowed to never contact Mommy again; I loved Daddy more than anyone, and he was worth everything--even giving up Mommy. When I opened the door, I nearly fell back when I found Daddy there, an ice pack in hand.

Tears fell from my eyes and I just hugged him… he has always cared about me, even when he hurt me, he cared. Unlike he did for Mommy, he cared for me after he hurt me. It made me feel special… it made me feel so, so loved. After that, he carried me to his room and we settled down in bed where he held me close to his naked body, gently running his hand up and down my bare thigh, sending goosebumps everywhere. It felt so good; so right; so… full of love.

**He gave me that black eye because he loves me.**

"What did you do wrong?" Daddy spat, twisting my arm behind my back in a way I was pretty sure it was not supposed to be twisting.

"I don’t know!" I cried, and I really didn’t… I was 14, I thought watching porn was normal and okay! Come to find out, no… it wasn’t okay, because Daddy didn’t want me to have anything to do with the shit. He twisted my arm harder, shoving me up against the wall, slamming my face into it. "Whatever it was I’m sorry, Daddy! I won’t do it again!"

Then he yanked my hair, directing my face to my computer before slamming my cheek into the wall. "I found _porn_ in your search history, you fucking brat!" 

"What’s wrong with--" I went to retort and ask what was wrong, but suddenly there was a snapping sound and my own screaming cut off my sentence. 

Daddy did not say anything, he merely shoved me to the ground and stomped on my already broken arm, making me squeal like a fucking baby. That was a pain I would _never_ forget. "Am I not good enough!?" It wasn’t that! I was thinking of him the whole time, I just didn’t want to disturb him! "What is it with you and your fucking whore mother!?" Mommy… I love her, but Daddy was right… she was kind of a whore. She had been cheating on him with other men, my bio-father included. I’d only found out just recently, and I was angry; cheating wasn’t okay. It was very, very bad. "Why am I always abandoned for--

"I love you!" I screamed through the pain, "I won’t--mm--ab-abandon y-you!" It was really hard to talk being in that much pain, but I dealt with it… I loved him, so I knew I had to deal with it. When he took his foot off of my arm, it took maybe a little pain away, but I was still in fucking tears.

He looked into my eyes a moment before smiling, leaning down and gently kissing my lips. "I love you too, Karma." And then he picked me up, "Now let’s get your arm taken care of."

"Mm," I could only whimper, because I literally felt like I was dying. But I knew it for sure, then… he really did love me. And he always had.

**He broke my arm because he loves me.**

Everything is because he loves me: the abuse, the yelling, the screaming, the breaking, the isolation, the chains. All because he loves me, I was bad, and I need to let him love and protect me because he wants what’s best for me and I love him.

xx.

It’s been five years now… five years that I’ve been with Daddy. I stopped calling him Tadaomi because he likes it when I call him Daddy. He loves me and it makes him feel close to me. After Mommy left two years ago, he’s been different. Things had been getting bad, and she kept telling me she hated him… I tried to tell her she didn’t mean that, but she wouldn’t listen. She said all these mean and awful things about him; that we didn’t deserve any of his abuse, that he was evil. She contradicted everything she said in the past! 

Before she left, she tried to get me to go… but I told her I loved Tadaomi--that he was my Daddy and I wouldn’t leave him. She told me I’d been brainwashed… and Daddy just slammed the door in her face before taking me to his bed and cuddling with me. He told me I did the right thing and that Mommy was just being a bitch. Even though what he said was true… I love her. And I always will.

Of course that meant I got the brunt of his anger rather than Mommy since she was gone, but I knew it was just because he loved me. I'm positive he loved me more than he loved Mommy. We still sleep in the same bed every night and he cuddles me a lot, sometimes even when he’s drunk. The abuse varies when he’s drunk: sometimes he’s abusive, sometimes he isolates me and chains me to my wall, and other times he just wants me to be there in bed with him so we can cuddle and… _stuff_. Apparently I make him feel better… and I love him, so I can’t just abandon him.

As a reward for being so good in Mommy’s absence, I get to go to high school at an actual high school rather than being homeschooled. I get to leave the house and go to real school for being good! It’s just high school, but… it’ll be nice to make friends. Daddy says there’s a lot of rules, and I will follow them all because being cooped up at home sucks… a fifteen year old needs to roam free. He said so, too.

xx.

In school I made some friends, but even more enemies. One person has been my rival ever since I arrived and he is mean. Ice cold and stone hearted. Merciless and will take down anyone in his way. We compete academically, and Daddy thinks it’s funny… he thinks it’s even funnier that we started dating. 

I’m a senior now… Gakushuu Asano is my boyfriend. He does know a little about Daddy and what goes on at home, and he’s there for me when things happen, but… he also gives off the same kind of vibe as Daddy, so maybe that’s why I was so drawn to him. In fact, ever since we started having sex, I’ve realized he reminds me a lot of Daddy: he’s controlling, rough, and a little abusive. But he assures me that he loves me, so I know it’s okay.

xx.

Daddy had to leave for work the summer after graduation… Gakushuu moved into my place. We’re married now. Turns out he’s even more like Daddy than I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is... I hope you liked it~
> 
> Hopefully there aren't many mistakes; I went over it as thoroughly as I could... but it's late and I'm tired so I'm just gonna post this and hope for the best~
> 
> The last part involving Gakushuu was just a very much summarized version of it; there will be more story to that, just in later chapters. So next chapter will be Shuu's upbringing. Because his side was more like a summary to begin with (I have an easier time writing Karma's POV for some reason, dunno why), I will have to add things and edit shit, so I will update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading~


	3. Just Like Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu's childhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, it was so hard to rewrite this chapter. I don't even know why. Hopefully you all like it!
> 
> For some odd reason, I can only seem to find inspiration at night, which is why it's almost 5:00 in the morning when I'm posting this. The biggest problem with it being so late, is that it's kind of hard to see and I make a lot more mistakes than usual. So sorry if there are mistakes in this, I will probably clean it up when I'm less tired~

I’d always heard it… always. The crying, the banging, the angry muttering, the smacking; everything, I heard every bit of it. Of course it was always left up to my imagination on what was happening… and I was curious to see what it was. When I was five, curiosity got the best of me, and I decided I would find out what on earth was happening in my parents’ bedroom when they thought I was asleep. One night when all the noises started, I snuck out of my room, tiptoed down the hall, and peeked into my parents’ room. 

The first time I watched my father beat my mother, I was intrigued. The blank, merciless look in his eyes alongside the fluidness of his motions as he struck her, the sharp insults and degrading comments, the sounds of her cries, and her screams, her agony… it all intrigued me. Being my father, he saw me watching almost right away, and he beckoned me inside. So I timidly made my way in, stopping halfway when I actually saw my mother; she was trembling on the bed… bruised, bloody, and sobbing. 

My five year old brain didn’t really understand it, but I knew my father, and he would never do anything wrong. He was the definition of perfection in my eyes, anything and everything he did was fully justified. But still… seeing my mother look like that, so broken and terrified, it was kind of scary. When Father told me to come, I came; disobeying Father was not an option, that much I knew. I stood by his bedside, close to him, violet eyes never leaving my mess of a mother. After that, my father smiled at me, ruffling my hair and then glaring at my mother when she told him not to touch me.

Angered, he told me to watch and learn… so I did. I continued watching his movements, listening to his insults, listening to what she’d done wrong (apparently she’d broken a vase he liked while she was cleaning), listening to how ashamed he was with her failure, listening to her whimpered apologies, watching him slowly lose himself to his rage. All the while… I was intrigued, completely unbothered by the situation--to be honest, I was just glad I knew what had been going on for the last two years. 

Once he was finished, and Mother had stopped moving, he smiled at me… so I smiled at him because at that point I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to do. He simply told me that this is what weak people--like my mother--deserved. Then he told me if I was ever weak or imperfect, he’d do whatever he saw fit. He stayed true to his word… yes he did. 

xx.

As a child, I was forced into anything and everything and expected to be the best; when I wasn’t the best, there were consequences. Harsh consequences I tried my best to stay away from. Perfection was expected of me not only by my father, but eventually everyone else, too. I was a child prodigy apparently. The only person who ever showed me an ounce of kindness was my mother… and I was grateful for that. 

Father didn’t really _beat_ me like he did my mother because if I came to school with bandaging and bruises, questions would arise and it could have made him look bad. Though he did have a thing for punching me in the stomach and paddling me. Since he couldn’t physically hurt me without arising suspicion, he mentally and psychologically messed with my head. Anytime I showed weakness or fear, he would get angry and try to get me over it. Anytime I was less than perfect, I was humiliated and shamed.

The first time he really did something more than spanking me or yelling at me, I was 6. Since I was already far above my grade level due to being forced to study so much, school wasn’t a concern of mine… but Father had a curriculum of his own that I had to learn as well. With all that on my plate, I would sometimes help around the house when Mother needed me to. One morning, I was helping my mother with breakfast because she couldn’t really walk that great at the time--I think that was when Father fractured her ankle--and we bumped into each other, which made the flour fall out of her hands and onto my head. We laughed about it, because it was kind of funny, but when Father saw the mess we’d made… he got angry.

Even within our own home, perfection was expected, and absolutely _any_ mistake caused him to blow a fuse. While she cleaned the kitchen, my father took me out back, made me strip down to nothing, and sprayed me with hose water. It was freezing and the pressurized water left marks on my body. Then he took my clothes and locked me out of the house, saying this was my punishment for making a mess of myself and his kitchen. Due to our privacy fence, no one could see me, and I wasn't stupid enough to draw attention to myself in such a state. So there I was, freezing, alone, and buck ass naked in the dead of January, freezing my ass off while he was inside probably beating my mother.

It was an hour before he came back, but he didn’t let me inside, he merely sat a dog bowl with breakfast on the porch and told me to eat like a dog because only a person with the intelligence level of a dog would be so careless as to make such a simple mistake. My pride got in the way on that one and I refused to eat it, so he told me I’d stay out there until it was all gone. And he just watched so I couldn’t throw it out and pretend I’d eaten it. 

Because I was little, I thought I could wait him out… that eventually he’d have to pee and I could either sneak back in or get rid of the food. Apparently he had a bladder of steel, because I was out there for two more hours and he hadn’t moved once. Then _I_ had to pee… and he just told me to go in the bush like a dog. But I was so cold that I could barely move and collapsed. Still, he did not come to my rescue nor allow me inside. When I came to, it was about noon, which meant I had been outside in the freezing cold for around four or five hours. 

Cold, in pain, and exhausted, I glared at my father through the glass, he simply smiled and went back to his work, so I looked to the dog bowl… where the food had been sitting and exposed to the elements for however many hours. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but he must have because he quickly opened the door and took it from me when I tried to eat out of it. Yeah, I probably would have gotten sick or something had I eaten it. Plus it was frozen, I couldn’t have eaten it if I wanted to. When he came back, another dish was set in front of me, this time it was water. Apparently he still wanted me to feel some sort of humiliation, so I drank from it like a dog, on all fours and using my tongue to lap it up.

_Was that so hard?_ He laughed at me, and then picked me up and carried me inside because it was freezing outside, I was naked, and I seriously couldn’t move that well; I could barely crawl, let alone walk. He brought me up to my room, dressed me in my warmest pajamas, laid me in bed, promised hot tea, and then left… I think he came back, but I had fallen asleep relatively quickly upon warming up under the blankets.

My mother came in a later that night after I had rested up, checking my temperature because she said I’d probably fall ill from being out in the cold for so long. The words she said to me forever nag me in the back of my mind: _Your father means well, but what he did today was not okay; if that ever happens again, you cry for help, okay? He’s trying to break you--trying to make you just like him. But please, baby… don’t you ever let him break you, Shuu. Once you’re broken, it’s so hard to be fixed. Don’t ever let him take away your innocence, baby. I love you._

Her words really hit me… I had no idea my father had been trying to break me or trying to mold me into who he wanted me to be. Honestly, I just thought he hated me for being such a failure like my mother. That was when I had a moment of clarity: he was doing this because he wanted to love me and wanted what was best for me. If you want someone to do well, you punish them when they do bad. I simply smiled at her, saying I understood and she kissed my head before leaving.

Once she was gone, I got out of bed and started studying; if I wanted my father to love me and be proud to be my father, I had to be just like him. Those words have stayed with me through everything:

**_You have to be just like Father._ **

Anytime I made a mistake, I either ate and drank like a dog on the floor with nothing but a collar around my neck… sometimes I was spanked, but usually I was locked in my room with no food, forced to study and unable to come out until I aced the test he made up for me. There was no ‘good enough’ it was either perfection or I failed him. If I showed fear… that was a whole different story.

Bugs, centipedes and spiders especially, were a fear of mine… one time at the park, I believe I was 7, it was in the middle of May. While I was playing with my friend in the sand, a centipede crawled on my hand and we flipped out. My father gave me a disapproving look while my mother came over and comforted the two of us, telling us everything was going to be okay--that bugs couldn’t hurt me and I had nothing to fear. Afterwards, late at night, Father made sure to ‘help me’ the only way he saw fit. 

_Shh, all is okay. They will not hurt you, Gakushuu._ That’s what he said to me as he tied me to the floor and let centipedes crawl all over my body--all I had on was underwear. I cried like hell. It felt so awful and disgusting as at least fifteen of those disgusting creatures crawled all over my body: my tummy, my legs, my arms… one worked its way up my undies and a couple others to my face. One inched closer to my ear, another to my mouth, and the one down under tried for my anus. All the while I just screamed and screamed as loud as I could, begging him to get them all off of me as the tears streamed down my face. It was humiliating to beg, but I was desperate. 

The only reason Father released me was because three of those damn pests attempted to crawl in a nearby orifice, and I was literally about to pass out. After I was cleaned off and untied, I ran straight for the bathroom and took a scorching hot shower, trying to get every bit of centipede germs off of my skin. I rubbed myself raw and then some because it didn’t matter how much I cleaned… I could still feel them on me and it made me vomit. Father was very disappointed with my behavior and spanked me as soon as I went to my room. Apparently my little display was very embarrassing and he decided he’d get me over my fear no matter how long it took. 

Months… it took months. I was still afraid of them, of course, but I learned to deal with them and pretended they weren’t there--pretended I wasn’t afraid. (Even now, they terrify me and I can’t be near them; if I am, I bolt immediately). Father did the same thing with spiders, which only took me a couple of weeks to get used to. Every time he discovered a fear of mine, he tried to make me unafraid. 

Dolls: he locked me in a room with them everyday while I was studying, and every night when I went to sleep (I broke a lot of them… which was when he started tying me down and putting them as close as he could). Old people: he made me volunteer at a nursing home. Heights: he took me to his business meetings and made me ride the see-through elevator all the way to the top floor, then I had to sit in an empty room and look down out the window until it was time to go. Other times he took me to the school he taught at and made me sit on the roof and look down. (I passed out many, many times after he left me there alone). Drowning: he gave me two swimming lessons and then threw me in the water with nothing to hold onto, expecting me to just know… it happened eventually, though I did almost drown a few times (mouth to mouth with your father is just as embarrassing and gross as it sounds). Pedophiles: he gave me in karate lessons and told me to beat the snot out of them, but if I couldn’t, it was okay to scream for help because he didn’t want to lose such a bright boy.

Most of these fears still reside in me… it’s just easier to hide it from everyone around me.

xx.

At 7 years old, I began playing tennis, soccer, and, of course, taking karate lessons. 

_Tennis_

Putting it lightly, I was better than the other kids. Putting it harshly, the other kids were mostly toddlers. Father watched… Father let me take a few lessons… and then I had to play him. Of course he didn’t play all out because that was just unrealistic for a 7 year old to beat a 27 year old, but he did make it challenging. Every unforced-error I made meant one strike: every double fault, every time I hit it into the net, every time I hit it out and it wasn’t because he returned the ball too hard, every time my footwork was sloppy, every time I ran into the ball, every time I missed the ball. By the end of day one, I had 25 strikes--my ass was so sore the next day.

_Soccer_

The kids were mostly my age, which meant a lot of them were better than me in the beginning. But I learned quickly because I kind of knew how to play soccer from school, and I knew how to get people out of my way. All I had to do was be aggressive like my father and keep my footwork decent and I was golden. If only things worked out so simple… when games started, I got yellow card after yellow card for being too aggressive and hurting the other players, but I saw nothing wrong with doing it. Father beat my mother even worse than that, so it made no sense as to why it was against the rules to shove people and knock them out to get them out of my way.

_Karate_

Father taught me this because he was very good at it considering he’d nearly killed his own Master. But he was hard on me, and because I was in other sports, he felt it was okay to actually bruise me in noticeable places and have me say it was from soccer. Which worked unfortunately well… he kicked me around and beat me up, telling me how pathetic I was and how much I failed him. It made me angry, and I used that anger to fuel me. I didn’t hate my father, but he was very harsh on me when I made even the tiniest mistake. I worked hard to please him, but it never seemed to be enough.

It took a while, but I learned; I learned to do everything I was taught perfectly because the whipping was painful… especially since he decided to use an actual whip after I kept screwing up in everything else, too. My back and ass were always bleeding by the time he was through with me, and those injuries often didn’t heal for weeks, so all he kept doing was reopening the wounds, leaving them little time to really heal. (My back is still scarred from this, and he didn’t stop there either, it continued up into my teen years, though seldom because it was very rare I made a mistake). It wasn’t just whipping, he continued with the ‘nothing more than a dog’ thing and often locked me in my room for days with nothing but water and a snack ration that I had to make last as I studied. This just made me work even harder in both sports and my studies. 

There were days I hated my life… but I knew he meant well. He didn’t want me to be weak, stupid, or useless like my mother; I needed to be strong and perfect like him. They stayed together, and I don’t know why. She could have left and he probably wouldn’t have noticed--hell, he probably would have been happy. All she ever did was mess up, and all she did was clean and cook considering she was even more hopeless at everything else… and in turn, he would beat and degrade her like the piece of trash she was. Weakness in an Asano was not allowed… and she was no exception.

The abuse and the beatings he gave to my mother got worse and worse as the years progressed, and I almost always watched from the closet… I don’t know why, I just liked watching--perhaps I felt like this was a lesson he'd meant to teach me, as well. Even the intimate moments I definitely should not have been watching at my young age, I did so anyway, both intrigued and confused; sex didn't exactly make a whole lot of sense to me, but I knew enough about it from watching them--Father was in control, and Mother either took it or begged him to stop. The more I watched my father, the more I felt I could learn from him; that's all I ever really wanted to do--learn from him so I could live up to his expectations.

Soon I began to fear for my mother’s life because, at the time, I did love her and was somewhat attached because she took very good care of me, especially after he’d hurt me. There was never a time she wasn’t there to dress my wounds, give me love, and make me feel better. She'd always said my father meant well… and I believed her. I knew he just wanted what was best for me. Anyway, my mother was getting hurt more, screaming a lot and begging for him to stop during the night... her desperation only made her fight him more, which only ended with more agony and screaming. Soon I had to close my eyes and cover my ears when they were having sex because it was too much, even for me at that point.

Most days I was slaving away in my room, studying myself to death, and then I went to practices and lessons for sports. Soon nothing mattered to me but winning and perfection, because the consequences of being imperfect were so demeaning and painful. Father no longer had to force me to study because I did it all on my own in fear of failing. I hated failing; I hated mistakes; I hated imperfections. My father expected perfection, and if I didn’t give it to him, the punishment was brutal… but even worse than the physical beatings, was when he degraded and talked down to me like I was nothing more to him than dirt--nothing more than my _mother_ who I wanted to be nothing like. I didn’t want him to hate me like he hated her, so I worked hard to earn his approval and respect. I _had_ to earn his approval.

**_You have to be just like Father._ **

Not only did I have to ace my schoolwork, excel at sports, and do some chores around the house, but there was a monthly exam from my father on the material he had me studying: foreign languages, advanced core subjects, and other things he felt I should know. If I scored less than perfect, even by one measly point, I was beaten, humiliated, and put down… and then he would correct my mistakes and I learned from them. Brutal as he was, he taught me and I learned from him; soaking up the knowledge he gave me like a sponge. Honestly, I was lucky to have a teacher/father like him; I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without him.

**_You have to be just like Father._ **

Year after year I was the golden child; my teachers loved me, the students idolized me, even my father was somewhat proud of my achievements. Gakushuu Asano was number one in everything: school, sports, charisma, and popularity. Of course getting to such a point was exhausting, and I had little patience when it came to other people, but I played nice to their faces because Father wouldn’t tolerate fighting. Rather, I would set them up for failure, and then they would fall and grovel at my feet like the peasants they were. 

When I was 11, my mother finally committed suicide. But I did not shed a tear over that--I couldn’t because Father would have beat me for showing weakness. Honestly, I felt sad, but not too sad; in all actuality, I was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. Father was very, very harsh on her. I was there for it all whether I was watching from the closet, or listening from the confines of my bedroom. He truly did hate my mother for being so weak and worthless… and by that point, I couldn’t exactly blame him. The first thing I found was her note.

Her note to me read as follows: _Gakushuu, I love you so, so much. And I am so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Please remember what I said: don’t let him break you. Perfection isn’t everything. Winning isn’t everything. Treating people like your father treats us is not normal; it is not okay. He will continue to hurt you and scold you and try to break you--try to mold you into a small version of him by locking you away and forcing you to study so much--for as long as you are alive. You will NEVER be good enough because his standards are unattainable. But you’re strong. You’re stronger than me, and I want you to grow up happy. So please, honey… please turn him in. If anything at all, please promise me you will grow up to be nothing like him. He is evil, manipulative, and has no right to be your father. I love you, baby boy. Good bye._

I did cry a little upon reading that--in secret, of course--because it was pretty touching to know she truly did seem to actually care about me. But then I read it over again and started laughing. I laughed so hard because she was absolutely ridiculous. If she loved me and cared about how I grew up, she wouldn’t have killed herself; she would have kept living, turned my father in long ago, and took me away from everything herself. I knew what my father was doing probably wasn't the most normal way to handle things; I knew he wanted me to be just like him, perfect in every way. Even in the end, my mother was absolutely _worthless_. I was going to flush it down the toilet, but... then I... I got... distracted. Anyway. Later on, I showed my father what she'd written, and he laughed as well, having the same thoughts as me. Of course I resented my father for what he’d put me through, but I respected that he wanted me to succeed and become strong like him.

**_You have to be just like Father._ **

Once my mother was out of the way, he could focus every ounce of his attention on me and everything I did. Meaning, if I made even one itty bitty mistake, he was right there to correct me. Corrections, or more accurately, _beatings_ , were painful and often quite long, but I dealt with it. I wanted to be strong like my father, not weak like my pathetic excuse of a mother. Father made me who he wanted me to be--molded me perfectly to his more than perfect standards. And I met them all eventually. In academics, in sports, in absolutely _everything_ he put me in: I was number one.

Soon the punishments became less frequent, I felt powerful… unstoppable. Closer to being _exactly_ like Father wanted me to be: 100% perfect. **_Just like Father._** Until my sophomore year of high school, I never would have thought my reign of being number one would have even come close to ending. But as they say, all good things must come to an end. And boy, was this end absolutely entertaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it. Gakushuu's childhood wasn't good either, though better than Karma's. His main issue was that he watched the abuse for so long and it was intriguing to him because of how much he idolized Gakuhou--to him, his father can do no wrong, a lot like how Karma felt about Tadaomi. This mindset just worsened when he was told Gakuhou was trying to mold Gakushuu to be just like him. So, I think you all kind of know how he's going to turn out. 
> 
> Next chapter is their high school years and shit. It will probably be a mix of their POV's, but I'm not entirely sure yet. I will try to get it up as soon as possible, but I have a baby to take care of, which takes up a lot of time.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading~


	4. First Day (Pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I have no good excuse for not posting this sooner. This has been written for like 3 weeks now, but I just couldn't make myself post it. Mostly because I felt it wasn't really good enough no matter how many times I rewrote certain parts, so yeah. This is the final result, and I'm still not really all that happy with it, but it's about as good as it's gonna get.
> 
> Updates should come sooner because it's not like I stopped writing just because I was unhappy with this chapter, but it'll still take time because I still have to convince myself everything is good enough to post and shit. I'm aiming for at least once a week. I definitely won't wait almost an entire month like I did this time.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Oh God… oh God. I’m so nervous. School is in less than five hours and I’m freaking out. Daddy said to stay in the shadows, not to speak unless I’m spoken to, not to talk about our relationship, and not to get into fights like I always would when I was younger. But it’s not like he really has the time to watch my every move, and that would definitely cause some suspicion, so… I’m gonna try to make friends, maybe. Not that I really know how to even begin to do that… fuck, I’m gonna crash and burn tomorrow. As if being new wasn’t bad enough, I’m transferring in a month late because it took some major convincing and a lot of asskissing on my part to actually get Daddy to agree to letting me go. 

See, I was actually supposed to start last year after winter break ended, but suddenly my daddy changed his mind and I didn’t really have it in me to say anything considering that last time I’d tried to fight him on something he’d nearly broke my arm again. But now… Daddy is working more, homeschooling is boring because it’s so damn easy, and I’m alone a lot. It’s not as if he lacks a heart, so he heard me out when I brought it up again this summer, and due to me making valid points and flaunting what my mama gave me… I managed to persuade him into changing his mind… again.

Right now it’s three in the morning and I’m in bed, cuddled up with Daddy, his arms loosely holding me. It’s really weird to think about how much smaller I used to be than him… by this point, I’m almost on eye level with him, and now I feel a lot better about being with him. It’s not like he sees me as if I’m beneath him, and most of the time we’re equals, but as a 14 year old there was definitely some inferiority… especially when we slept together. I felt so small, and inexperienced compared to him… like I wasn’t good enough. But now… now I feel bigger, more confident.

I really love him, and I’m so happy he loves me too… he does everything for me, and even though I’m bad sometimes, he still cares for me. The pain is worth the good times. And he hasn’t been drinking as much, so that’s really good. Since I’m awake and obviously will not be able to sleep anytime soon, I look up at Tadaomi, examining his peaceful sleeping face. The man is extremely handsome; chiseled, sharp features, mature, muscular. How my mommy left him, I will never know. Not only is he attractive, but he’s so, so caring and kind. Strands of jet black hair hang over his eyes, unlike when he’s awake, there’s no gel to keep his hair in place, so it’s messily splayed all over. 

Smiling, I reach up and brush the strands out of his closed eyes, gently enough so that he doesn't wake, but he does feel it. The strong, muscular arm around my bare waist tightens slightly, and then relaxes again when he realizes I’m still by his side. Contrary to what I used to believe, he’s actually rather afraid of abandonment… he doesn’t want me to leave him. When Mommy left, he was just as beat up over it as I was, but thankfully we had each other to get through it. Just thinking of what would have happened had I gone with her… it makes my stomach do somersaults. 

Unable to help myself, I press my face into his warm, muscular chest and just sigh, closing my eyes and trying to breathe in his comforting scent. This time when he moves, I can tell I woke him up… whoops. Oh well~ “Karma,” he murmurs groggily, grunting slightly as he pulls me closer. “You alright, baby?” I just nod curling up into him and sighing contently when he kisses my head. Because he’s Tadaomi, he knows something is up because normally I don’t intentionally wake him up for no reason. “Baby boy, you can tell me anything.”

Well… if he insists. “Nervous… about today. Can I stay home with you?”

“I wish I could say yes, I really do.” Yeah, he’d rather us both stay home and just make do with what we have, losing ourselves in each other and isolated from the rest of the world… but that’s no way to live, not for either one of us. “But you’ve already missed a month, and the Chairman doesn’t exactly approve of you being on homebound for no reason.” Technically I _am_ enrolled, but Daddy managed to convince him to let me stay home for a while because I ‘wasn’t used to school and needed more time because of my anxiety’--which isn’t exactly a lie, but the real reason is that we don’t want to be apart for so long yet. “The only reason he’s been so lenient with us is because you aced entrance exams, but now… he’s been hounding my ass trying to get you there.”

Why did I want to go to school again? Do I really need anyone else in my life aside from Daddy? I mean, he’s always been here and he’s promised to take care of me for as long as I’m by his side… so why would I even want to leave? “Besides, you being here alone during the day isn’t good on you, and I’ve taken enough time off work as it is.” Oh yeah… I’m always alone and he has a job to be at. Life doesn’t work like we want it… we can’t coop ourselves up here. “I promise you’ll be okay… there’s nothing to worry about. Just lay low and you’ll be fine.”

All I can do is nod, because he is one of the only people I have had contact with since the Rio incident; I don’t think I’ve spoken to someone my age since then, and the only time I leave the house without my father is when I sneak up onto the roof to look up at the stars and draw them. That’s it… I legit have no life outside of this home, and I am terrified. What if they don’t like me? If anyone tries to touch me, I’m going to defend myself… no one but Daddy. “You’ll be there right after school?”

“2:30 sharp, baby.” I nod and he holds me close, “Get some rest. I love you.”

Hooking a leg over his waist, I snuggle into him and close my eyes. “I love you too, Daddy.”

xx.

This school is big as fuck. I’d known it was pretty big from the outside, but now that I’m on the inside… it’s so much more intimidating. Thankfully Daddy got to come to the meeting with the chairman, so I’m not nearly as nervous as I was when I thought I was going at it alone. We’re at his desk in his office… it’s very large, and it’s actually pretty bare. I’d heard he had a genius son that everyone loves, but there is not one sign of him or a family: just his own awards and achievements. Not only that, but even though he seems very charming and kind, I can see past all that. Due to living with my own daddy, I’m able to read people and moods rather well, so… this guy isn’t as nice as he seems, both of us are more than aware of this.

“You have different last names?”

“I’m not his biological father. His mother left us about two years ago and signed him over to me. Is there a problem?”

Those wine colored eyes flick between us, looking for something… whatever it was, he must not have been able to find it, because he simply smiles. “No problem at all.” Yeah, I’m sure most people would find that strange… a mother leaving her child with a father who isn’t even his own. I mean, Mommy married Tadaomi when I was 9, but she’d been around him since I was 7 when she was still married to my biological father. Point being, I’ve known this man for a while, he helped raise me, and we love each other. He’s more family than anyone else; as far as I’m concerned, he’s my _only_ family. “So, Mr. Akabane,” he looks to me and I raise an eyebrow. “I trust you completed the homework?”

“Yep,” I reply dryly, not really liking the tone he had with me just then. It’s like he thought I’d just been sitting around for the past month doing nothing. Nope, I sat around for the first three weeks doing close to nothing and then spent the last week catching up on all the shit. The homework was still too easy for me since Daddy had taught me above my grade level, but that’s to be expected; he is a very smart man and has taught me a lot more than life skills. Unlike my mommy, he really worked with me and taught me everything I needed to know for school, too.

He nods once, giving me a pleased smile before speaking again. “You will be in class 2-A because of how well you did on the entrance exams, and I trust your attendance will be better from now on.” I shrug, because I can’t promise that… Daddy could get mad at me and pull me out, or hurt me so I can’t walk around in public. Honestly, I’m just glad he didn’t leave any visible hickeys on me like he usually does--he’s fairly possessive. Like, he wants people to know I’m claimed, but not by him because… well because I don’t know, exactly. Probably because we’re not exactly a normal family--yes, even I know that much. “We expect a lot out of our students, and you need to be here to attend classes and stay on level with the other students.”

It takes all I have not to roll my eyes because this man is clearly looking down on me for whatever reason… oh whatever, fuck him. Acting all high and mighty. Eat a dick you fuckwad. “I’ll be here when I damn well feel like it.” Daddy told me not to mouth off to people, but this guy is clearly looking down on me like some sort of smug bastard and I don’t much appreciate it.

Surprisingly, Daddy doesn’t seem at all irritated by my comment, he actually looks rather irritated by the man in front of him. “Do you have a problem with my son?”

“Oh… no, not really. But I would just hate to move such a bright boy down to E-class because of his attendance records.” I’ve kind of been informed about that class, and I honestly don’t care for such a system, but it’s whatever. “Weakness is absolutely no excuse for missing an entire month of school. I will not tolerate such a thing again.”

Not missing a beat, Daddy shoots back, “My son is not weak, Dr. Asano, I assure you.” The man says nothing, just smiling an empty smile at us. This man… I don’t much care for him. How dare he look down on me… I want to punch him in his perfect fucking teeth, see how he likes that. “Calm down, Karma.” The gentle hand on my shoulder snaps me back into reality and I find myself tense and my fist clenched.

It’s clear he’s trying to get to us, but I don’t know why… maybe he’s just a dick. “As you know, violence of any kind will not be tolerated. Any infringements will be reported and I will decide to move you to E-class should I find it necessary. Let’s do our best to avoid such things, do I make myself clear, Mr. Akabane?” A curt nod is my response, and oh fuck do I want to hit him. This man doesn’t even know me, he has no right to treat me this way. Not even Daddy pulls this shit. Daddy doesn’t say I’m weak, and he certainly doesn’t treat me like I’m beneath him. “Good. It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Karasuma.” He holds out his hand, and Daddy does take it, but it’s obvious that he’s not happy about it. 

“You too,” Daddy is short and sweet with his reply, quickly taking his hand away and putting it on my upper back to rid his hand of the feeling of that man. Ha, he likes me better. “I will see you after school, Karma.” Being in an unfamiliar place without him will be scary, but I’ll be fine. He pulls me in for a hug, and I feel myself relaxing again… after a few moments, he pulls away and then takes his leave, leaving me alone with this horrid man.

As soon as the door clicks shut, I turn back to him with a blank look on my face… all I have to do is make it two more minutes and I can probably go to class. “You sure are close with someone who is not actually your father.”

Who the fuck is he to say that!? “He raised me. Though from looking around this room, I can see why you would think such a thing is strange.”

He laughs softly, “What are you trying to imply?” I say nothing, and he smirks knowing good and well what I’m implying. “You are quite different when your father is not around.” Yeah, I don’t back down or submit to anyone but Daddy, and I don’t treat people with respect if it’s abundantly clear that they believe they’re better than me. “I will show you to your homeroom, where all core subjects will be held.”

“I’m not an invalid, I’m sure I can find it just fine.” The challenging smirk he sends me is infuriating, but I say nothing. If I get kicked out of school, Daddy will be pissed. “Do as you please.” 

So he does, leading me out of his office and to wherever. “Because this is a prep school, the majority of subjects taught are core, and the curriculum is the same for every class; being in the A-class you have top-notch teachers and a lot is expected of you. You have two electives, though. I took the liberty of choosing for you since you were absent for an entire month.” I sneer at him and he just smiles, laughing lightly. “I see great potential in you, Mr. Akabane, you should take this as a compliment.”

Ha, yeah right. He’s just being a fucking dick and he knows it. “So you’ve kept a month of homework from me for two classes?” 

“In all fairness, I thought you were going to show up a lot sooner, and I was not going to choose them. But then I took a look at your exams and I felt such talent should not be wasted in something useless like art or what have you. So, I stuck you in Russian and Trigonometry.” 

Oh thank fuck; I’m good with trig. But the other one… not a fucking chance. “You put me in _Russian_? What use is that!?” 

“Knowing multiple languages is a good skill to have. Your classmate, Mr. Gakushuu Asano, is fluent in five of them. Perhaps you should take a few notes out of his book.”

I scoff, because he would fucking try to put me down with his son; his son that he probably doesn’t even like, knowing how awful he is! This only means he does see this Gakushuu person as a star student, though. “I have to catch up on a month’s worth of _Russian_?” I look at him like he’s the epitome of a fucking idiot, and he merely nods. “A fucking heads up would have been nice, man.”

“Please mind your language, Mr. Akabane,” he scolds me.

Psh, I don’t have to mind my damn language at home, why should I here? “It’s a damn word, get over it. If my language is really an issue, I should have stayed homeschooled.”

Much to my surprise, he laughs. “Afraid to fail at one measly course?”

“Never. I just don’t want to start something I have no fucking use for.”

He sighs, “Such a bright pupil using such foul language…” I stay silent because I’m not speaking to him anymore. Just him walking with me is earning some looks I’d rather not have, and apparently there’s a uniform here. How fucking lame. “Does your father tolerate such language?”

How dare he bring Daddy into this! “Who the hell do you think I got it from?” 

Another sigh, and then he places a hand on my shoulder. “You are going to build quite the reputation for yourself using that kind of language and having that kind of attitude… I suggest you tone it down a bit, Mr. Akabane.”

“Don’t care,” I shrug him off and I think I’ve actually managed to irritate him. This time, it’s not my fault… I just can’t stand him and his insufferably cocky, pretentious attitude. How much you wanna bet his son is just as bad? We go to enter a room, and a blonde chick rushes out and runs smack into me… I catch her, because I don’t exactly want her to fall, but when I look down at her, I nearly shit my pants. “Oh fuck…” 

Her blue eyes meet mine and her face goes a thousand shades of red, “K-Karma?”

“Rio…!” Flashbacks fill my mind and I swiftly push her away from me. She nearly falls because I did kind of overreact there, but catches herself on the lockers. She tries to talk to me, but I already have Dr. Asano’s wrist in my hand and am pulling him into the room where the teacher is. 

Surprisingly, the man allows me to pull him, and when I look back I find that he actually seems rather amused by the situation. When I notice the stares on us, I quickly let go of him and straighten up. It’s probably not often that they see their Chairman get pulled around by a student--especially a student they haven’t seen before. “Ex girlfriend?”

“Something like that…” Ugh, I don’t even want to think about that… I’m disgusted with myself for even touching her in such a way, let alone almost allowing her to touch me in a way that only Daddy is allowed to.

“Mr. Shion, this is Karma Akabane, the student I told you about in the email. From how this morning went, I do not doubt that he will give you some trouble…” Oh shut the fuck up you piece of shit. “And he has been homeschooled for the majority of his life, so things will take some getting used to. Especially controlling his mouth.” I scoff, not saying anything to that because I think they both know how they feel about that statement. “Any concerns?”

The teacher dude, Mr. Shion or whatever, he simply smiles at me and shakes his head, “No, I think I’ll be able to handle him just fine.” 

That’s when something registers in my brain, and my face drops. “Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck,” I mutter under my breath and feel my stomach turning. Rio came out of this classroom, that means Rio is in this class. Oh fuck… Daddy is going to be so pissed off if she talks to me. And I know better than to hide such a big thing from him. “I’m so fucked…”

“Excuse me…?” Mr. Shion furrows his brows.

Dr. Asano chuckles, “I think something just clicked in his brain and he is less than thrilled about it.”

Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of riling me up, I say nothing… though in my head I am trying to keep myself from having a breakdown. What if he cuts my dick off? That was a real threat and I most definitely do not take those lightly--especially considering how fucking angry he was. “I’m not much for introductions, just tell me where I’m sitting.”

“Are you sure you--

“Did I _stutter_?” I snap at him. Now I’m just fucking irritated because my dick is in jeopardy. I’ll text him, see what I’m supposed to do, and then go from there. Mr. Whatever just kind of points me to the desk in the back of the room and I keep my head down as I go to my seat, not making eye contact with anyone. It’s been years since I’ve been in an actual school and it’s very uncomfortable.

**7:41 a.m.**

**Karma**  
Remember that girl Rio? From like two or so years ago? She’s in my class. What do I do?

**Daddy**  
Just don’t associate with her. You will be fine, hon. So long as you’re a good boy, nothing is wrong.

**Karma**  
Mkay, I love you

**Daddy**  
I love you too, baby boy. Have a good day. Text if you need absolutely anything.

I smile at the text and then put my phone away, finding many eyes on me from the few students here this early. One boy, who I assume to be Gakushuu Asano because of the hair color, studious attitude, and from the way he was kind of mean mugging me and the Chairman as we stood and talked to the teacher, is intently focused on the notebook in front of him. Honestly… I hate him already and will be doing everything possible to avoid him. If he’s anything like his father, which he more than likely is, I refuse to associate with him. 

The person sitting next to me smiles, “H-Hi, are you uh… Karma Akabane?”

It’s a girl… her dark hair is pulled back into thick braids, and hidden behind her glasses are her pretty, light purple eyes, and long eyelashes coated with a thin layer of mascara. Am I allowed to talk to girls? She spoke to me, and Daddy said to speak if spoken to. So…? “Yes.” Short and sweet; maybe she won’t talk again since it probably seems like I just brushed her off.

“I’m Manami Okuda, it’s uh… nice to meet you.” Cheeks pink, and head down slightly… she seems very shy, lacks confidence in herself, and seems a bit wary of me. “If you uh, have any questions, you can… ask me.” I merely nod at her, eyeing her very cautiously before pulling out my homework and pretending to be busy organizing it. Actually wait… I probably should organize this shit. “Do you… need help?”

Okay, this girl is clearly not going to leave me be… but there are a lot of papers here, and the desk isn’t exactly the biggest, so I hand her a pile. “Just organize it by class. Sorry to make you do this.”

“No, I asked,” she smiles timidly, looking down at the papers and getting to work. Well… does this count as making a friend? She seems friendly, and seems to like me, and initiated conversation all on her own despite her shyness… so maybe she wants to be friends. Cool. Fine. Daddy didn’t really say anything, I just figured it was implied, but… maybe being strictly just friends with girls is okay. Besides, by this point in my life, I’m almost positive I’m not attracted to girls… hell, I’m not attracted to anyone…

Aside from Daddy, of course…! I love Daddy… he’s my everything, and I wouldn’t be here without him. Despite what he’s put me through, I know he doesn’t really mean it. He loves me, and cares about me… I don’t have to pretend anymore. We really, truly love each other and nothing will ever come between us--especially not some dumb girl. As I’m sorting, Mister… uh… teacher dude, comes by and hands me my books from the classes I didn’t receive them for: trigonometry and Russian. Holy fuck the Russian one is huge… this class is going to be the death of me, I swear. “Good to see you making friends, Mr. Akabane.”

The smugness in his voice just tells me that Dr. Asano told him some things about me that he didn’t need to know, so that’s annoying. Not speaking to him, I simply give him a glare that says ‘fuck off before I kill you’ and he does so. “How did you do your homework without your books?”

I roll my eyes just thinking about the answer to that question. “Dr. Asano decided to withhold what my electives were until today.”

“For an entire month?”

“For an entire month,” I repeat back to her, less than enthused about having to make up a month’s worth of homework in such a short amount of time… again. This time it wasn’t even my decision, which just pisses me off even more. “I’m good with trig, but… I don’t know one bit of Russian.”

Her eyes widen, “He won’t let you switch?”

“I refuse to switch,” I tell her like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “That would be admitting defeat, and I don’t do that.” Not to people like him… I refuse to lose to people like him. I’ll show him I’m better than any other kid in this damn school.

This time she smiles a little bigger, “Wow… talk about admirable.” I just smile and we go back to work, sorting papers left and right until it’s finally done. “Here. We have Algebra II first, then world history, then English lit, then elective one, then lunch, then gym, then chemistry. Each class is 50 minutes, and there are five minute breaks in between courses, and lunch is 30 minutes. Tomorrow it’ll be English, chemistry lab, civics, elective two, which is probably Russian for you, and then lunch, then geography, and then independent study. You can go home, but… people usually look down on you for doing that…”

Wow… that’s a lot to take in. It was very helpful, though; thank God someone took the time to explain things to me without acting like they were better than me. I take the papers, stacking them in the specified order, and then sigh through my nose. “Thank you… for everything.”

Just as she goes to speak, our teacher gets our attention and takes attendance, says some words I don’t pay attention to, turns attention to me by saying a transfer student has arrived that I also ignore, and then it’s time for classes to start. Thankfully Rio is all the way up front and away from me, so I won’t have to deal with her until she confronts me. Fuck… I am not looking forward to the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is~ Hopefully it wasn't too boring, but it gets more interesting next chapter... I think. Yeah, so Karma is a little more Karma-like towards pretty much anyone but Tadaomi. I'm not entirely sure on how a prep school runs, so I just kind of winged it and chose random classes I had in high school. There will be no Karma/Manami in this, they're just friends.
> 
> I've edited the shit out of this because I was so fucking anxious to post it, so hopefully there aren't any mistakes! It's so easy to overlook shit when it's almost 4 in the morning, though. Next chapter should be up this weekend.
> 
> Thanks for reading~


	5. First Day (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma spends the day with Gakuhou after a little spat with Rio. Karma and Gakushuu interact a little and they do not like each other one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with it so far! I said this would be updated on the weekend, and the weekend it still is... just barely (for me anyway)! I thought I should upload this now because I am on a date with Jack Daniel's Tennessee Fire, and I need to hurry up and post this before I no longer can (And I just remembered I still needed to do this!). I was supposed to get my laptop fixed for my birthday, but didn't get around to it! But when it is fixed, I'll have more (almost complete) stories to upload! Maybe it's just me, but birthdays are so boring once you're an adult :c 
> 
> But enough about all that, here is the next chapter! Hope you all like it!

Lunch is spent with Manami in the classroom… which is when I’m greeted with bright blonde hair and blue eyes I never wanted to see again. And it’s not my mommy. Hell, I would have preferred her over this bitch any day. “Karma, where the hell have you been?” She places a hand on her hip, glaring at me. Yeah… I kind of disappeared on her without a word, blocked her on everything, and avoided the school and park at all costs. 

Good boy; you have to be a good boy, Karma. Not only your dick is in jeopardy, but your relationship with Daddy and his trust in you, and talking to her to clear things up is not worth that kind of punishment. Disobeying Daddy isn’t worth it. You have to listen to Daddy; you have to listen to Daddy. You _must_ listen to Daddy no matter what, or bad things will happen! I know now not to give in or submit to Rio, or anyone else; only Daddy. Especially now, because if I don’t listen, he’ll stop trusting me, which will make him start questioning me, which is when he’ll start drinking again and I won’t be able to leave ever again.

Not only that, but I won’t have a dick anymore.

So I ignore Rio, silently telling Manami to please make her go away with my eyes. Of course I knew it wouldn’t be that simple: Manami is nice and shy, Rio is brash and assertive. So Manami just gives me an apologetic look before looking down at her lap, while Rio continues to pester me. Where have I been? What have I been doing? Why did I leave like that? What is my goddamn problem? Question after question that I just continue to ignore, knowing people are staring and wondering what the hell is happening. 

As soon as her hand touches my shoulder, my stomach feels sick and I almost immediately push her back. “Do not _touch_ me, you fucking _bitch_.” This earns some concerned glances and irritated glares, but I don’t care. _No one can touch you but_ me _Karma! You fucking brat!_ No one but Daddy; no one but Daddy; _no one_ but Daddy. 

Crazy; she looks at me like I’m crazy, taken aback that I would push her like that. “What the hell happened to you? You used to be so sweet…” When have I _ever_ been fucking sweet? If by ‘sweet’ she means ‘submissive and willing to do whatever the hell she said’ then yes, I used to do that with her because I thought that was how I was supposed to act. But no… only to Daddy. Intimacy with anyone else is wrong, sinful, and not allowed under any circumstances. “Karma, I was really worried something hap--

“Shut the fuck up and leave me alone!” My voice nearly breaks at the end and it takes all I have not to cry because I don’t want to get in trouble; I don’t want Daddy to fucking hate me! Why doesn’t she get that I want nothing to do with her stupid, slutty ass!? Obviously concerned, she reaches out to touch me and I smack her hand away, forcing her back before storming out, running into someone I didn’t care to look at on the way to the door. Whoever it was, fuck them, because I’m pretty sure he called me insane. But he doesn’t know! He has no fucking idea what I have to live with and that just talking to her could ruin my life. Daddy can’t start drinking again… he can’t. We can’t go fucking backwards when we’ve come this fucking far.

Daddy is my entire life, and I refuse to let anyone ruin it.

There’s only one place that I know to go, and that’s the Chairman’s office… I know he doesn’t want me there, and doesn’t know me, but I can’t tell Daddy because he’ll get mad because technically yelling at her is associating with her and I’ll get in trouble. And I can't get in trouble. I absolutely can't. There's too much at stake. When I get to the large doors, I don’t even knock, I just barge in and those wine colored eyes peer at me like I’m in trouble. Which I probably am… I _did_ just barge into his office without permission, after all. This could have ended really badly now that I think about it; what if he had been in a meeting or firing someone or enforcing disciplinary action?

“Oh yes, please, Mr. Akabane. Come in. Busy? Me? Of course not.” Well would you look at that? He can be sarcastic, too. Smug bastard. I simply roll my eyes and shut the doors behind me, not walking over to his desk, but huddling into the corner and just trying to calm myself down. “I am not the counselor. If you are having an anxiety attack, go to--

“No!” I shout. My hands are shaking, my heart is beating erratically, and I feel like I’m going to be sick all over his fucking floor. This man may be an asshole, and I totally despise him, but he’s the closest thing I have to Daddy right now because he’s an adult, he’s cold, and he’s kind of a dick with the way he always tries riling me up. Don’t get me wrong, I love Daddy, but it’s true. “I-I just…!” I blink a few times, really hating how this is making me look; he’s going to think I’m especially weak after this. You know what? I don’t fucking care anymore, let him send me to E-class; it’s better than being with Rio. “I just need to be here.”

Sighing, he gives me a pitying look and gets to his feet. “You have gym and chemistry next; are you sure you cannot get through whatever this is?” I nod, not looking at him; his pity isn’t what I wanted, but if it gets me away from Rio, so be it. “May I ask what happened?”

“Rio,” I mumble, “She won’t leave me alone.” His eyebrow rises as if to question what the big deal is. Well… I can’t tell him. But from the looks of things, he won’t let me get out of this without telling him. And considering he’s like Daddy, he’ll see right through me if I lie. “I just… fuck it. Daddy caught me fooling around with her when we were 13 and I’m not allowed to associate with her.”

After clearing his throat, he raises an eyebrow. “By Daddy, you mean…?”

“My father… Tadaomi?” I give him a look like he’s an idiot, because he is. “Who else?”

He shakes his head, walking over to me and looming over me like a predator; on the surface he’s smiling, but I can see how annoyed he is through his eyes. It’s not hard to tell because he’s not really trying that hard to hide it. Clearly he wants me to know that this only hurts my case in what he was saying this morning: I truly am weak. “You may stay in here until the end of the day, Mr. Akabane. I will see to it that Ms. Nakamura keeps to herself after today.” Curious as to why he’s being nice, I really study his eyes to find the tiniest bit of understanding in them; I’m sure he would feel the same way as Daddy had his son made out with someone… or maybe he just wishes his son was as devoted to him, like I am to my daddy. “I would hate for such a distraction to keep you from your studies, and you show far too much potential for me to overlook this.”

Not wasting this opportunity, I nod and take a deep breath, “Thank you… I uh… I’ll go get my things once class has started because I have a shitload of Russian to catch up on due to your negligence to tell me about such a class until this late in the game.” Since it’s gym, no one will be there, so it’s perfect… And that little dig I managed to get in there felt good, too. Not that I would admit such a thing out loud, but his cocky, professional presence has managed to calm me down some, so I think I’ll tone it down a bit, just for today… he’s earned at least a little of my respect.

“I will accompany you.” I furrow my brows at him and he explains. “They lock the classrooms when they head to gym.” 

Shit… well I have no choice, then. So I nod and he holds his hand out to help me up off the floor. My reaction was a mix of concern, curiosity, and hesitance, but he didn’t do anything but help me; his hands are big, and cold… nothing like Daddy’s, who is filled with so much warmth and love for me. God, I miss Daddy. I’d text him, but I left my phone back in… oh no. What if she took it? Surely she wouldn’t have. “Fuck… you don’t think she’d take my phone, do you?”

As if he would know… but he does answer, putting his hand on my upper back before leading me out, just like the first time. “If she did, theft is a serious issue and will probably be the final strike for her being sent to E-class… so for your sake, maybe she would stoop to such a juvenile level.” I blink at him, wondering where such an attitude came from; doesn’t he hate me? “As I said before, you show a lot of potential, Mr. Akabane. It is not that I harbor contempt towards you, I just wish to mold you into a successful adult.”

“Daddy is doing a pretty fine job already, but thanks for… caring…? I guess?” He chuckles lightly, sending this weird feeling that I have no idea how to describe other than chilling throughout my very core. After that, we don’t speak much to each other, walking through the near empty hallways to my classroom; he politely scolds the stragglers to get to their classes, not using the same attitude that he had with me this morning. I think that means… he _does_ actually like me and just wants me to succeed. What an ass, treating those he sees as the brightest so coldly.

When we get to the room, he goes to unlock it, but finds it to be unlocked… so we head inside to find none other than Gakushuu Asano at his desk, doing his homework at an alarmingly fast speed; overachieving little dickbag. I oughta smack him upside his head because who uses so much concentration and speed just doing _homework_? “Mr. Asano,” Dr. Asano says sharply. My eyes watch his every movement carefully and intently: the rigidness in his once graceful demeanor, the way he gulps upon hearing his father’s voice, how noticeably tense he got just then.

Almost robotically, the boy looks up and speaks, “Chairman. Is there a problem?”

“Why are you not in class?”

“I was instructed to wait for Akabane in case he came back…” His actually really pretty violet eyes flick over to me, and then at the hand on my back, widening just slightly; had I not been paying attention, I wouldn’t have seen the tiniest bit of jealously deep in those gorgeous orbs.

The tenseness between these two is un-fucking-real. Like shit, I can almost feel the hatred and smugness radiating off of them, covering me up and smothering me like a blanket. These two… I don’t think they like each other all that much, despite being father and son. Then again, I despise my biological father, too. While they have a silent conversation with their eyes, I go to retrieve my things if only to get away from that awkward situation. I groan softly when my phone is nowhere to be found, and a note from Manami is on my chair: _I’m sorry, Karma. I tried to get it back, but Rio is relentless when she wants something she can’t have. Please don’t worry, I’ll try to get it back in the girl’s locker room._

“Stupid bitch.” Dr. Asano looks at me, raising a brow, so I tell him. “She took it… Manami said she’d try to get it back in the locker room.”

“If you are talking about your phone, I swiped it when she was leaving.” It’s suddenly tossed to me, with far too much force than necessary, and for once I’m glad for all the things that have been thrown at me and improved my reflexes because I catch it with ease. Had this been a few years ago, I would have flinched away and it would have gone straight into the wall behind me. “You’re welcome.” The emptiness behind those words was very evident, and it’s clear to me he wants nothing to do with me--especially now that I’m kind of on good-ish terms with his father, who he definitely hates. “Try not to leave such things unattended you moron. I am not your babysitter.”

Because he was rude to me, I answer with just as much bite. “Thanks a lot, ya fuckin’ asshole.” Taken aback, his jaw drops and then he looks to his father, as if expecting him to scold me, but he doesn’t. Probably because the little prick deserved to be called that. "Aww, what do you mean you're not my babysitter? Someone's gotta do it, Shuuie... but don't worry, I'll be sure to keep your babysitting duties to a minimum from now on~ Take good care of me, 'kay?" I wink and he sputters a bit, but quickly turns back around and keeps his mouth shut; can't piss off Daddy dearest, hmm? Openly pleased with myself, I pack the rest of my shit in my bag and walk back over to the Asano duo: Gakushuu is back to his homework, pencil scratching on the paper a little more aggressively than necessary, and Dr. Asano is peering at him through narrowed eyes, watching his every movement… as if waiting for something. When those wine colored eyes narrow just a fraction more, I feel the already tense mood grow.

We go to leave, but not before Dr. Asano smirks, narrowing his eyes at his son. “Numbers 12, 15, and 19 are wrong. Honestly, Mr. Asano, I expect more from you.” The younger Asano’s sharp, violet eyes almost immediately drop to his paper, desperately looking at those problems and scanning for mistakes. Fuck, does he look irritated, both with himself, and his father; clearly this man doesn’t play favorites, because the smugness behind his words cut through Gakushuu’s resolve so easily. “Mr. Akabane, let’s go. Mr. Asano, keep studying and try to pay attention to lectures so you do not make such simple mistakes again.” The boy seemingly pays him no mind, but it's clear he's angry by the way he's furiously erasing his work and grinds his teeth, trying--and pretty much failing--to keep his composure. From how he acted in class, it’s really surprising to see him so unhinged like this. Only a father is capable of such things, I suppose, knowing which buttons to press and the like.

As I close the door, I don’t miss the soft growl, nor the sound of the pencil snapping. I’d feel sorry for him, but clearly he’s a fucking asshole and isn’t worth my concern. “He seems very unpleasant.”

Laughing softly, he pats my shoulder, “Are you not the same way?”

I shrug, “I suppose so, though I don't normally act so pretentious.” He merely smirks, staying silent as we walk back to his office. Once there, he allows me to work in front of him at his desk while he does whatever it is a Chairman of a big name prep school does. As I work, I feel Dr. Asano’s eyes on me, and he actually helps me out quite a bit because Russian is majorly difficult and it kind of makes me want to shoot myself in the foot.

“You catch on quickly,” he says after two hours of me working. My phone has been buzzing, but he kept telling me to ignore it because I was in the middle of a quiz and took it from me. Now that I’m done, he smiles, handing it back to me. “I expect the rest of this done by Friday. School ended about ten minutes ago, you may go.” 

Shit… that was probably Daddy. I gather my things and call him back right away because he’ll kill me if I don’t. “Daddy, I’m sorry. Dr. Asano was helping me with my Russian homework and I was in the middle of a quiz.”

 _“You better not be lying to me, Karma…”_ I quickly thank Dr. Asano, who smiles a slightly less empty than normal smile and tells me he’ll see me tomorrow, hopefully under different circumstances than today, and that seems to be all the confirmation Daddy needs. _“Oh thank God… I was worried something happened with that girl. I saw her leave a few minutes ago and she looked pretty irritated.”_

After that, I head out, nearly toppling over Gakushuu fucking Asano on my way. He says something snotty, but I don’t care to listen to it and flip him off. “Watch it, asshole,” I snap at him before rushing away and speaking to Daddy again. “Yeah… I’m on my way down, now. Can we just talk when I see you?”

 _“Course baby. I’m by the gates.”_ He would be waiting by the gates… what a silly man. It only means he’s worried about me and loves me, which sends warm feelings throughout my body. God, I love him, and I can’t wait to get home and fall into bed with him, entangling our naked bodies beneath the sheets and expressing just how much we love each other. Willing away the blush on my face from thinking about such things in a public place, I hurry to Daddy, because I need to see him as soon as possible. He’ll help me forget all about Rio and Gakushuu and everything else; he’ll melt away my troubles.

**_Daddy is the only person you’ll ever need in your life._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! How was it? Just for clarification, Karma _thinks_ he loves Tadaomi, he really does, but he also believes what they have is okay but he was forced to think this way. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. He Does Not Belong Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu's thoughts on Karma, and a deal is made between the Asano's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao at me. Somehow I fucking forgot to post this part in the last chapter...? I was reading through the document and I was just like 'Wait a sec... did I not post this part? What? Why? How? Good fuckin' job, me!' 
> 
> It's kind of short because it wasn't supposed to be its own chapter, but oh fucking well; it's a chapter now! Hope you enjoy it!

How dare that insufferable, worthless piece of garbage talk to me like that. And how dare he for getting all chummy with my father--who did not scold him for cursing! If those words _ever_ came out of my mouth, Father would _obliterate_ me. Cursing is simple-minded and shows lack of intelligence… a weak vocabulary--there are much better ways to intensify speech and get your point across, and swearing like a sailor is ill-mannered, uncivil, and highly unnecessary. Some say swearing shows you are passionate about something, but to my father and me, it shows how simple-minded one is. Resorting to such foul words… incredibly uncalled for under any circumstance.

Then again, what else should I expect from some delinquent? Clearly he has no business being in this school, let alone in the A-class. After what happened with Rio this morning, it was clear to me that he is far from A-class material; anyone who resorts to violence like that against a classmate who is only showing concern towards them has no business being here. Though, she did seem to be pestering him, he could have at least controlled himself, not push her and then run away. How weak can he be? Not only that, but he nearly toppled me over. Moron. 

How did he manage to get into A-class anyway? Probably cheated his way through exams. Father would have said something about him if he was any sort of challenge for me. Whatever. That putrid, idiotic _thing_ is not worth my thoughts, let alone my breath. How I managed to talk to him this afternoon without barfing, I haven’t the slightest clue. Self-restraint, perhaps? Or maybe I have just grown accustomed to dealing with such uncivilized, inferior scum. Who knows? Honestly, who cares? Again, he isn’t worth thinking about, just like every other person in this school.

There is only one person who I aspire to surpass, and that is Gakuhou Asano. I will _not_ be his corporate slave for the rest of my life. One day, I will beat him and will finally get to repay him for all these torturous years he’s put me through. But for now, I will play nice, work my way up, and then destroy him when he leasts expects it. To think he still belittles me after all this time…! I am as close to perfection as it gets, and he will realize that one day. I will _make him_ acknowledge me as a strong, successful adult.

Once the bell has sounded and I’m finished taking care of some things, I head up to Father’s office to maybe persuade him into removing that Akabane boy from the A-class. After all, he did miss an entire month of school, and that alone should put him in at least D-class, and after today’s events perhaps he even belongs in E-class. Honestly, I’m quite sure that he’ll fit right in with those brainless misfits who have no business being a part of this school--hence why they are treated as such.

The other students admire me, smiling and giving me small waves as I walk through the halls; in return, they get a charming, yet incredibly empty, smile that they are far too dumb to see through. It really is funny, knowing they all so desperately want me to like them, yet they have absolutely nothing special or significant about them. Quite frankly, if I wasn’t the class rep, I probably wouldn’t even know their names. It’s such a bother, learning the names of people I greatly dislike and interacting with them on a daily basis… sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have been nominated for class rep, but then I remember how much I enjoy leading and taking charge, so in the grand scheme of things, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The secretary greets me and I smile, bidding her a ‘good afternoon’ and then heading towards the mahogany double doors that I so desperately despise. Just as I’m about to reach for the door handle, I hear a voice that is definitely not my father’s and pause; is someone in there? Normally no one is in his office right after school. Odd. Should I wait? Or knock? I would hate to disturb him if he’s dealing with important matters, but at the same time, I’d really like to discuss Akabane’s standing in the A-class with him as soon as possible.

Just as I’m about to knock, the doors burst open and I get a mouth full of red hair. Red… it brings the following words to mind: rage, repugnant, repulsive. Much to my surprise, he grabs my shoulder to keep me from falling, and then without sparing me a second glance, he lets go and pushes past me--no apology! “What the--look before you rush out, you imbecile!”

“Watch it asshole!” he snaps, flipping me off before rushing out and speaking to whoever he is on the phone with.

Red… I see red. Anger, irritation, rage. I don’t think I have _ever_ wanted to hit a person more than I do him right now. Okay, that isn’t true, but still… he is really starting to get on my nerves. Whatever, that only makes this conversation that much easier for me. I walk in, straightening my clothing after closing the doors behind me. When I look up, something is thrown at me, and while I would normally catch it with ease, he threw a tennis ball fairly hard right at my face. “Honestly, Father,” I narrow my eyes at him, throwing it down on the ground, “A little warning would be nice.”

“Like how you gave Mr. Akabane warning when you threw his phone at him?” he challenges and I scowl, hating that he seems to like this kid after knowing him for a few hours. Honestly… it’s pretty annoying. “If that had broken--

“It would have been _stolen_ if not for me, so… I am not exactly seeing the issue here.” Before he can say anything else, I hold up a hand, “About him… I want him out of A-class. He doesn’t belong there.”

His wine colored eyes flicker with amusement and he chuckles, “Do you feel threatened by him?”

Ha! Don’t make me laugh, Father. “Why would I? Almost every teacher got onto him for not paying attention, he is unbelievably cocky with nothing to show for it, he nearly got in a fight with a girl in class.” It looks like he goes to retort, but I don’t let him. “He swears and doesn’t care who hears it, he has nearly pushed me to the ground two times today, he is disrespectful, and he legitimately almost started crying as he rushed out of the room. Akabane is pathetic and _weak_ , Father, and you know it.”

Chuckling, he sits forward and clasps his hands together on his desk. “Is that so?”

“It is!” I hate that I’m getting so worked up over this, but some brainless delinquent has no business being in the same class as me. “Delinquents like that thing have a place, and that is E-class.”

“ _Thing_ , hmm?” His eyes grow dark, and he shoots me a smirk that makes my skin crawl and stomach twist. “How about we make a deal?” Intrigued, I arch a brow and he continues. “If he is not in the top 3 at midterm, I will send him to E-class for his crude behavior.” Yes! A million times yes! Not that I say that aloud--I just nod and he finishes the deal. “ _But_ if he is, you are stuck with him in A-class.” 

“Seems simple e-- 

“Ah, ah, ah,” he shakes his head, “I am not finished.” His tone was very venomous right there and I regret not waiting until he was done speaking… some sort of punishment will be in order for being so disrespectful. “If he should place in the top 3, he stays in A-class, _and_ you will approach him to ask if he will study with you on a weekly basis.” What…? He expects me to ask some lowlife scumbag to study with me? That is simply laughable; I would never stoop so low as to ask someone to interfere with my private study sessions. Really, he would never be able to keep up with me even if I did. 

No matter. Given my impression of him already, I already know I have this in the bag; there is no way he could outscore the two students under me. Ren will wipe the floor with him, and so will… the other one. I don’t remember which one it is… remembering those below me doesn’t matter because I know they will never surpass me. How? Because they’ve never come within 15 points of beating my score: not once in middle school, not on entrance exams, and certainly not on midterms. None of these exams are to be taken lightly, because this is no regular prep school.

“Not that I’m even remotely concerned that I’ll lose, but what if he says no?”

He eyes me a moment longer before smiling his empty smile, similar to my own, as if he knows something I don’t. Before I can ask, he speaks. “Then he says ‘no’, simple as that. How humiliating would that be, though?” he chuckles lightly, just trying to infuriate me. "Getting turned down by such a pathetic 'thing' like him... perhaps that will finally teach you that maybe you are not as special and well-liked as you think you are," he smirks.

_Tch_ , man he knows how to infuriate me like no other… first he fraternizes with a no-good delinquent, then he makes those comments when I made just simple mistakes on just the first-draft of my homework covering new material, then he seems to have faith in said delinquent, and he continues to insult me. But I keep my mouth shut about all that. “Fine. We have a deal.”

“Wonderful,” he smiles smugly before waving his hand, dismissing me. “See you at dinner.”

I nod once and then turn on my heel, striding out confidently because there is no doubt in my mind that he’s not smart enough to get in the top 10, let alone the top 3. Anyone that uncaring, inattentive, and laid back could never get by in a school like this; I’ve seen those who tried and thought they had the brains, and they’re down in the lower classes. Arrogant fools. At least I have something to show for my arrogance, but them… they are nothing more than a waste of oxygen and resources on this Earth.

“Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Asano,” he says as I grab the door handle, making me pause. “This stays between us.” 

“Yes sir.” And then I open the doors and head out. It may stay between us, but it won’t hurt to at least encourage them to study.

Losing is not an option, because I refuse to sit in a class with someone who clearly does not belong there. And Karma Akabane, most certainly _does not_ belong there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	7. Midterms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter; I mean, it's been written, but it required a lot of editing and changes to make it something I felt was okay to post. It's a little shorter than the others but I tried. I try to listen to music when I write to get inspired and shit, but... I've been listening to a lot of rap lately, so it's not helping me with this. Maybe I'll try some more relaxing music next time I work on this, like EDEN or Starset.
> 
> Though I'm not entirely happy with this chapter because it seems a bit rushed, I think it's about as good as I can make it.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with it, and I hope you enjoy this chapter c:

**Karma**

Midterms… scary shit. I wasn’t afraid until fucking Dr. Asano made me afraid. When I came in during independent study the day after the Rio thing--not because I like him or anything!--and asked him for some help with my Russian because I was so fucking far behind in the class, making it difficult to pay attention and know what was going on, he handed me a practice exam and told me I had to stay until I was finished with it. Apparently he wanted to know my standings with everything. Of course Daddy wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of me staying after school for so long, but Dr. Asano managed to talk him into it.

It took a few hours, but I managed to get it done… and he had it scored rather quickly. Out of 600, I scored a 545. My only perfect score was in math, and my lowest score was civics. He wasn’t angry or anything, especially given the fact that I hadn’t even learned everything yet, but he told me to study hard or else I would never make it in this school. It did kind of seem like he was looking down on me, though, so it did end with me kind of pissed off. His smug attitude can get really annoying; I don’t know how Gakushuu deals with it. 

Of course I wanted to prove him wrong, prove that I could and would make it in his school, so I have, indeed, been studying a fair amount whenever I found the time to. Daddy sometimes made that hard, wanting to cuddle and talk and stuff, but thankfully he’s mellowed out over the years and wasn’t really mean about anything when I wanted to study rather than be with him. Apparently he was pretty happy to see me take school ‘seriously’ for the first time ever. I’m not really taking school seriously, I just don’t like being looked down on. Not that he did anything wrong when teaching me, but since I’m in a more advanced school, he taught me about the bare minimum of what I need to know in some subjects, and not enough in others. Like civics… which I kinda really suck at.

But I’ve really been working fairly hard outside of school these last few months, and I think I’ll make Dr. Asano at least somewhat proud when scores come out. I’m tentatively aiming for perfect due to how decent I did when practicing when I hadn’t even learned the shit yet, but… I’m not quite sure I’ll get there. Perfection seems to kind of be his thing, so… yeah, I probably won’t really make him proud. But I’ll make Daddy proud… so long as I score within the top 10, anyway. I’ve worked way too hard, and know way too much, to be outscored by more than 10 people. 

Fingers crossed I make it… because I’d rather not make being beat over school a habit.

There were a few times that Daddy was a bit unjustified when he was hurting me… I mean, yeah, I guess I deserved it, but… maybe it went too far? Like when I came home smelling different because Manami hugged me, or when I got into a slight altercation with Rio because she wouldn’t leave me alone and got suspended for two days--one of which I was forced to stay in Dr. Asano’s office and catch up on homework and study--or when I completely bombed my Russian quiz. Surely he over exaggerated a bit…?

_The only person you can be intimate with is **me** , do I make myself clear?_

Well, wait…

_How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to get into fights!?_

Actually, no… no, I deserved it. 

_This is what happens when you disobey me, Karma._

I was bad and I totally deserved what he gave me for defying him--every single strike, cut, bruise, and punch. Daddy can never go too far… _never_. Even when it’s because he’s drunk and upset with me, I deserve it, and I allow it because that’s how it goes: you put up with thing you don’t like for the people you love. And I love Daddy… so, so much. Absolutely everything he does is because he loves me and wants what is best for me. _And that’s final._ No matter how small the crime, I deserve every bit of what happens to me. _Daddy knows best, and he always will._

After all that, I made sure not to let any girl touch me too much, Rio was sent to E-class because that was the final strike since she started it and threw the first punch, and I made sure to ask Dr. Asano for help with Russian. Of course he told me that I really needed to go to the teacher if I needed help, but… honestly, he’s hated me ever since I told him to ‘fuck off’ because I’d had a long, painful night with Daddy hurting me and was just far too exhausted to stay attentive during his stupid fucking class. 

So… yeah, he wasn’t exactly _willing_ to help when I asked him. In fact, he repeated my words back to me and then dismissed me… to which I responded with a very nasty glare and I may have called him a ‘washed-up old hag who needed to shower more often and lose some weight,’ or something like that. Dr. Asano made me stay in his office, yet again, and Daddy really ‘had it up to here’ with me and my attitude… so he may have gotten drunk, and he may have choked me until I passed out. Honestly, I can’t say for sure because I woke up on the living room floor and had no idea what happened; all I knew was that my neck was bruised and my body was sore--especially my ribs. 

Do you know how hard it is to cover dark bruises with makeup and act like it doesn’t hurt? It’s really fucking difficult and Manami almost caught me because she smelled it… I told her she was crazy, but then she saw some purple and I told her it was a hickey. She believed it and kept her mouth shut after that, thankfully. Now I notice her actively checking for hickeys so I’ve really got to be more careful, and I may have to stay home the next time I’m bruised badly. If only attendance wasn’t so important… 

As I sit in my seat next to Manami, I can’t help but fidget a bit because today is definitely one of those days that I should have stayed home. Daddy and I got in a fight last night because I was so stressed out over midterms and completing my Russian essay… I didn’t want to let him or Dr. Asano down, and only ended up letting Daddy down in an entirely different way. Being drunk isn’t an excuse because he didn’t drink last night, and he hasn’t been drinking a lot, but has been getting steadily more abusive while sober. Us being apart is definitely harmful, and he’s starting not to trust me because I’ve been staying after school with Manami to help her study. So yeah… home life is not good at the moment.

Not that I don’t deserve it! But… I wish he would have waited until _after_ midterms to almost break my wrist and make me sleep while chained to the wall. Thank God I can write with both hands, because my right one probably won’t last long. When Dr. Asano asked what happened because I had to turn in some papers to him before exams began, I completely ignored him and rushed off to class because I was exhausted, tired, and unable to think of a lie at that moment.

In five minutes, exams begin… and even though I most definitely am not at my best, I will give it my all, because I refuse to let those damn Asano’s look down on me. As I bite my nail, I notice a set of eyes on me that seriously haven’t seemed to spare me a glance since I ran into him after I left his dad’s office. Those violet orbs seem to laugh at me, like he thinks he’s so much better than me, so I merely send him a challenging smirk whilst flipping him off. Manami giggles a little and I think I see his eye twitch, but he quickly turns away. Am I intimidated by him? Yes, absolutely. He has that kind of vibe around him, but I won’t back down.

“Good luck, Karma,” Manami reaches over and squeezes my shoulder and I try not to flinch because she really is sweet and has no ill intentions like Daddy seems to think.

“You too, Manami,” I smile and then take a deep breath.

If I don’t beat Gakushuu this time, I’ll be okay… but I’ll crush him when finals come along. I’ll take his number one spot and maybe wipe that smug look off his face.

 _God_ , do I wanna wipe that smug fucking look off of his damn face.

**Gakushuu**

Ah, midterms are finally here. Of course I’m exceedingly well prepared, and the two below me are as well. I maybe had a few study sessions with them to make sure they were on par with what I felt they needed to be able to beat, and then told them to study hard to keep their spots. The two of them seemed so incredibly awe-struck by me, and it was kind of humorous to watch them try so hard just because I asked them to. Being the nice guy that everyone loves and admires sure is hard since I absolutely despise everyone who isn’t worth acknowledging. I mean, Ren is maybe my only ‘friend’ per say, but we don’t really hang out a lot; studying and sports are far more important than some friendship that most likely won’t last outside of high school. Besides, Father said friends are unnecessary and take away from what matters--which I agree with wholeheartedly.

Speaking of Father, he’s been spending a lot of time with that little devil, recently. I see him coming out of his office at least once or twice a week, and not only that, but Father seems genuinely interested in him. Not once have I seen him take interest in a student who wasn’t me… and it is surprisingly very irritating. It’s not like he normally spends time with me or helps me with my homework anyway, but seeing him do it with someone with so little potential…? It isn’t fair to the rest of the students who actually work hard, pay attention in class, do not skip class, and do not fall asleep in class. The only thing I see him show effort in is gym--when he decides to actually participate--and even then, it’s like he’s just messing around. 

About Akabane, he looks like absolute crap today… there are dark bags under his eyes and all in all he just looks extremely exhausted. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was one of those halfwits who use the ‘I’m just not a good test taker’ excuse. There is absolutely no way a slacker like himself will be able to surpass anyone in this class. When exams come back, I will be overjoyed to watch him be removed from this class and into a class that he actually belongs in. The same class his ‘precious’ Rio was sent to… that will be fun for the two of them, I’m sure. Funny thing is, once someone is in E-class, it’s really hard for them to get back out, so it will be very seldom that I have to look at his unjustifiably cocky smirk and his bright red hair that fills me with irritation every time I catch a glimpse of it. 

Not only that, but I get to rub it in my father’s face that I was right: Karma Akabane does not belong here, and deserves none of father’s attention whatsoever.

Not that I’m jealous or anything, I just hate seeing them together… it really is annoying seeing two people I don’t like at all looking so chummy with each other. It’s especially annoying when people ask me about their relationship; as if I would know, I barely talk to my father these days, and I do not particularly care to even try to talk to Karma Akabane. Still, Father seems way too close to him, and I do not really know his reasoning. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was just associating with him so kindly to make me angry. I typically try to stay away from and ignore anything involving that red haired idiot, and will continue to do so until he gives me reason to believe he is actually a contender in matching my intelligence--which will never happen. _Ever._

Just because, I glance back at him one more time; look at how pathetic he is. Biting his nail, hair disheveled, he’s not even wearing the school uniform jacket as per usual, and his usually bright golden eyes seem dimmer… not that I have been paying attention, I just notice things: like the unusual dullness and the bit of fear in his irises, and the dark bags under his eyes. Man, someone was really nervous about midterms. Do people normally look so disheveled and exhausted when stressed? How funny; my father is betting on _him_? That mess of a person? Honestly, I think Father may be losing his touch, because there is no way in hell someone like that could even hope make it in the top 3.

When I go to look away, he catches my gaze and I just kind of glare at him… after a moment of confusion, he smirks and then flips me off. That. Little. _Asshole!_ I mean, no! Not that word, uh… God dang it, now he’s got me cursing. Father would smack me if he was able to hear my thoughts, but thankfully he can’t--thank God, too, because he probably wouldn’t like them. Man, I really have to be careful; that guy is enough to make me break my composure and do things I shouldn’t. Manami giggles at his reaction and I nearly lose it; what right do they have to treat me like that? I am far superior to them, and they should not feel comfortable enough to disrespect me in public. No one was looking, but just the fact that someone _could have_ seen it is enough to irritate me.

Though dull, those gold irises ignite slightly, like a tiny flame suddenly sparked something within him as he met my icy gaze… challenging me, almost. How dare he…! Scowling, I look away and then take a deep breath, trying to focus and not worry about the fact that he can unhinge me without even trying. Usually the only person able to do that is my father, and here some guy I barely know is able to do it just like that. Infuriating--absolutely infuriating. How is this even…! 

Calm down, calm down… everything is going to be okay, he can’t hold a candle to you, and you won’t have to look at him hardly ever again after winter break. Okay… okay. And I am golden. Looking over, I see numbers 2 and 3 mentally preparing themselves, both smiling at me and giving me a confident nod. Good, they seem to be feeling positive.

God, I can’t wait to see how cocky that insufferable bastard looks after finding out he’s been demoted to E-class. Maybe then he’ll finally realize his place in this school: with all the other worthless losers who are going nowhere in life. I look back once more, just to ignite my fighting spirit… and am greeted with a lazy wave and a wink. Why is he staring at me again? Whatever. I give him a discreet glare and then face the front once more.

God, do I want to wipe that smug look off of his face.

.xx.

  
**Midterm Exam Scores**

Gakushuu Asano 600  
Karma Akabane 596  
Manami Okuda 589  
Ren Sakakibara 586

Nearly every jaw was dropped upon looking at those scores, especially the new, and previous, top 3. Karma and Manami hugged each other, because that meant she would finally stop being in jeopardy of being moved down a class! And of course Karma was pretty stoked that he had a near perfect score, so close to the condescending, cocky asshole, Asano the Great. But most importantly… that smug fucking look was most definitely wiped off that orange haired bastard’s face for at least a few minutes, which was the most gratifying thing about scoring so high.

Yeah… that day was a good day for Karma, and he would never forget how wide those surprisingly very pretty violet eyes got when he read the name below his, nor would he forget the surprisingly genuine smile that rested upon Dr. Asano the Great’s face when he looked at him.

This was definitely a successful midterm, and he honestly didn’t care what happened next so long as he had Manami by his side, and Gakushuu maybe stopped acting so much better than everyone else. The latter would probably not happen, but a boy could dream, couldn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go. Midterms are done and Karma is staying in A-class--let's be real, we all kinda knew that was going to happen. Maybe now Gakushuu will stop being a pretentious, cocky asshole...? Spoiler alert: NOPE! 
> 
> Next chapter will be the first _real_ engagement between Karma and Gakushuu and I am actually pretty happy with how that chapter turned out so it should be up within a few days if editing goes well. I'm debating on splitting it up because it's over 6,000 words and I don't like putting so much in one chapter, but I also don't like making you guys wait when things are already written. I try to even it out more, but I always end up writing more for Karma's POV and it's just... I don't know. It probably doesn't matter that much, but I overthink it anyway lol.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading/kudos/comments! I appreciate it!


	8. You Are, And Always Will Be, Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Gakushuu have words. Gakushuu feels something he's never felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to break this into two chapters, but the next chapter should be up tomorrow. This part is already pretty well-edited, so why make you wait when it's already written? c: It's like 3:30 in the morning so I'm just gonna post it. Hopefully you all like it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Gakushuu**

The day after results were posted, I was forced to confront my worst nightmare… okay, not my _worst_ , but it’s close. Father merely looked down his nose at me, telling me not to misjudge someone so easily, and then showed me all of his exams: from class, the ones he’d taken for my father, the entrance exam, the midterm exams--the exams he had apparently fallen asleep during and drooled on two of his answers, thus invalidating his response. Of course Father was probably not allowed to show me, nor tell me about, Akabane’s exams, but he just wanted to rub my nose in my failure to realize the person I hated the most was definitely a contender to match, if not surpass, my intelligence.

How can someone so seemingly lazy, undisciplined, and uncivil be so brilliant? It just… it isn’t fair. I work hard, and have worked hard, every single day of my life for the past almost 11 years, and it just is not fair that someone who doesn’t put in the effort so easily scored so high. If I didn’t hate him before, I definitely hate him now. Especially because now my father has every right to look down on me and taunt me for losing the bet. I’m sure he’s back in his office laughing at how much of a failure I am. Father merely told me it was a lesson to be learned and that he wasn’t worried about me with finals so long as I continued to keep my pace when studying. It was also hinted at that they would be far more difficult than midterms, which is fine with me because they were easy. Still… I can’t help but wonder just how much more intense our final exams will be.

When I get to my locker, I find that the red haired demon child is walking towards me with Manami by his side; are they dating? No, he seems far too distant, but she seems more than enthralled with him. Ew. How? Like… maybe he has some decent attributes, but he is certainly nothing special. Then again, compared to most guys at this school, I can see how females would be attracted to him based on looks alone. Personality-wise… not a chance in hell. Aside from Manami, I suppose; granted, she’s always been a bit of an odd one.

Those slightly more intimidating than usual golden eyes meet mine and I scowl, motioning for him to come to me; surprisingly, he sends Manami off on her way and walks over to me… hands in his pockets, eyes darting around slightly, and while he may try to pull off the confident attitude… being this close to him, he doesn’t actually seem all that cocky. Doesn’t make me want to punch him any less, tho--I mean, no. I do not wish to punch him; violence is not okay in a school, nor a public, setting.

Not allowing him to speak, I look around to make sure the coast is clear and then grab his wrist so I can drag him to the roof. He may have whimpered a little, but that may have just been something else because he isn’t pulling away or anything. Having him so close to me academically, and physically at the moment, it feels awkward. I know how close he was to beating me, and here I am currently tugging him along to the roof with me with absolutely no explanation. He must be very confused. 

Glancing back, I find him with an indifferent look on his face. I find that infuriating… yet, incredibly intriguing. Just how strange can this guy be? As smart as he is, he’s very laid back and carefree, much unlike myself. To be honest, that is probably why I despise him so much. Still… there is something very off about him and I just can’t seem to figure it out: is it how indifferent his face looks, as opposed to how anxious his eyes look; is it how cocky he normally looks, as opposed to how normal he looks right now; or maybe it’s because for the first time ever, I am looking a challenge I thought I would never find in the eyes, and he doesn’t seem to care one bit. Is this arrogance… or genuine indifference?

When we get to the roof, I put aside my pride and make myself speak to him. “I know you’re probably confused as to why I brought you up here, and it’s nothing weird, I swear.” He blinks a few times and I continue, “Do you want to study together sometimes? Just to challenge each other a bit…”

He’s silent for a good minute before he breaks out into laughter. Why? “Study? With _you_? Why the fuck would I do the thing I hate the most with a shit person who looks at me like I’m beneath him? I barely study as it is, but you’d just make it worse. If it weren’t for your dad pressuring me, I probably wouldn’t have studied on my own time… and I still would have scored the same because if you haven’t already realized, I am actually smart.” I am positively floored by this revelation because all my life all I have ever done is study, and then _he_ is close to my intelligence level? Furious doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel at the moment, especially after his comment about me.

After I calm down enough to get out coherent words, I resort to insulting him like he deserves. Clearly he already knows my true nature, so he’s going to get it. “You--you idiot! How the hell is someone like _you_ so on par with me? Such a worthless, weak delinquent that got lucky--that’s all you are. It won’t happen a second time, I promise you that. You will _never_ surpass me.”

Suddenly, all that cockiness and attitude is back. He doesn’t care that I just insulted him; in fact, he seems to take the words as a mere joke and laughs, muttering something about me needing to stop being an uptight, egotistical asshole before he really puts me in my place. “God, I hate arrogant pricks like you; you think you’re so much better just because you answered some fucking test questions correctly. Whoopdee fuckin’ doo. I don’t give a shit about ‘surpassing’ you, but I could if I wanted to. And trust me you fucking asshole, I will not hesitate to hit you if you keep this shit up.” 

I laugh that pathetic comment off… taking his words with a grain of salt because he honestly seems to not care about anything, especially his grades; my place is first and it always will be. Yeah… there’s no way someone like him could ever surpass me. This was a fluke, and he’ll be destroyed next semester. “You are _lower_ than scum, Akabane; you wouldn’t be able to land a shot on me. You’re lucky that I offered you the chance to study with me.” How infuriating can one person be?! I knew he was going to say no… okay, I figured he may have said no and would kind of just laugh it off and be awkward, but this reaction is really getting under my skin. “Hell, you’re lucky I’m even talking to you!”

To which he responds with a breathy chuckle and an eye roll, “You need to get off your fucking high horse, dude. You aren’t better than me, or anyone else in this damn school. With such a shitty attitude, I’m surprised the masses don’t hate you. Then again, you’re a fake son of a bitch, just like your sorry excuse of a father.”

What… what did he just say!? I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to pummel someone more than I want to pummel him this very second. It literally takes all I have not to really let loose and hurt him. Rather, I walk up to him, grab his shirt collar, and spit in his face, “How dare you…!” You know what… he mentioned my family situation, so I’ll mention his! “Well at least I still have my father, unlike you! Your dad hated you so much that he completely abandoned you and your mom, and then she left you with some man not even related to you!”

At the mere mention of this, his eyes grow wide and angry; it appears I’ve struck a very, very sensitive nerve. He clenches his fists and nearly growls, pushing me back enough to yell at me. “Daddy loves me more than your father could ever love you!” Daddy?? What is he, five!? “You know nothing about my fucking family so shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone or so help me God, I will…!” 

Despite his aggression and venomous words, it doesn’t really look like he’ll do anything to me; not because he’s all bark and no bite, I’ve seen him in action, but because… I don’t know. If I’m being honest, he almost looks scared to make a move on me. “You’ll what…?” I smirk, walking up to him and reveling in the pure, unadulterated rage I’ve just caused him.

“Get the fuck outta my face,” Karma spat, shoving me back so hard that I nearly trip.

But that doesn’t deter me and I’m right back up in his face, “You need to learn to watch your mouth, Akabane.” I grab his arm, and find myself just slightly concerned when his rage almost instantly turns to fear as he winces and whimpers quietly… but I say nothing about it, of course; instead, I loosen my grip a bit, choosing to ignore the relief in his eyes, and continue. “You are just some lowlife scum who got lucky. Or maybe you just cheated. Can't say I'd put it past you. I don’t know why I bothered even approaching you. You clearly are not worth my time; especially not my breath.”

This ignites the raging fire in him again, it’s not hard to tell he’s angrier than before, but he merely smirks; it is insanely hard for him to keep his cool right now and I can tell. “You act like I care about what you think? Unlike the idiots, I don’t worship the fucking ground you walk on, prick. Why don’t you go on and suck Daddy’s dick like you normally do, ‘kay?”

“You would stoop to such insults. Insufferable pig. I will _destroy_ you, Akabane. In every way. Because you are nothing but a disrespectful delinquent who has no business being at this school, let alone talking to me, you unworthy, ungrateful piece of trash. You don’t _belong_ here, and you never will. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and just keep your filthy mouth shut. Your words are meaningless; _you_ are worthless; and this conversation is over.”

Before I can walk away, he grabs me he puts us nose to nose; the tears in his eyes are clear as day, and I feel proud to have hurt this piece of crap bastard to the point he’s on the verge of tears. “Who the fuck are you to say that to me!?” he shouts, jarring me slightly, but surprisingly not hurting me. “You think you’re so fucking high and mighty, when really, you’re just an uptight, fake, egotistical fucking asshole that _no one_ would like if you showed your true colors. You are a sad, lonely little _fuck_ that hides behind your scores because aside from your looks, those are literally all you have fucking going for you!”

By this point he’s fuming, and I’m getting there, too, but I look into his eyes with a blank, disinterested look on my face just to make him even angrier. This guy hates being looked down on, so I’ll play it up even more, especially after that last comment. “Who are you to say _anything_ to me? You are _worthless_ , Karma Akabane,” I spit back, keeping my voice steady and calm, lacing each word with just as much venom as the last. “And I will do everything in my power to prove just how inferior and worthless you are to me, and everyone else, you no good, pathetic, insignificant, waste of space. You are, and always will be, **_nothing_**.”

After a moment of looking at me in utter shock and disbelief, he drops my arms and falls back onto his butt while I quickly retreat, not wanting him to see just how close I was to breaking down. I have never done that to another person… and I didn’t imagine it’d feel good beneath the initial guilt on the surface.

Speaking my mind like that… it felt so good. Even though I may have pushed him a little too far, it felt really, _really_ good. Liberating, even. That pathetic look on his face… it was wonderful. Man, I should do that more often because I feel a lot less tense and stressed now that I got all my pent up aggression out. Is _this_ the feeling Father has been getting all this time when hurting and talking down to me and my mother? If so, I can see why he did it; this rush is like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I can’t wait until I can feel it again.

No one is allowed to talk to me like he did just then… _no one._ And I’ll see to it that he will never do such an idiotic thing again. I will _crush_ Karma Akabane; I will show no mercy and obliterate him during finals so that he will have no choice but to accept his place beneath me. But even though I’m determined to beat him, I can’t help but wonder why he looked so afraid when I grabbed his arm… no matter. Pitying a pathetic opponent is pointless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby Karma :c 
> 
> His POV next time!


	9. Conflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakuhou does something unexpected; Tadaomi strikes again; Karma is conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a day late. Whoops! I have no excuse worth mentioning. But here it is! I edited it as well as I could for it being past 2:30 in the morning.
> 
> Tadaomi and Karma are intimate in this chapter, but it's mainly just Karma's thoughts on the matter before things go to shit.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter~

I sit on the roof in shock, face buried in my knees as I cry like a pathetic fucking weakling who just got beat up. Technically I did get beat up… mentally. No one has said such cruel, awful things to me before, not even Daddy at his worst. Gakushuu Asano is not like his father… he’s _worse_. At least his father didn’t say I was worthless or that I wasn’t worth his breath or that I was trash or that I was just an insignificant waste of space; he may have thought those things, but he didn’t say them to my face. He never told me I was nothing… no one has. Am I… am I really nothing?

Upon thinking of everything that was just said to me, a rather loud sob breaks in my throat and I just want to curl up and die. Not just because he said those things, but because in the middle there, I started thinking that maybe I deserved it… that maybe he was right. And I’m super pissed at myself for not being able to hit him; there was something holding me back, and I don’t know what it was. In my head, I kept telling myself that he had no right to say these things, that he needed to be taught a lesson, but my arms wouldn’t move… the most I managed to do was push him, and that was only because he got in my face and I absolutely hate that.

I’ll show him… I’ll show him I’m not worthless, that I am smart, and that I am worth talking to. That I belong here just as much as he does. You know what, I’m going to surpass him. I’m going to beat him so badly… and then he’ll want to talk to me. Then he’ll see just how equal we are. And when he finally realizes that, I’m not going to look down on him like he does on everyone else… no, because I’m not like him, and I never will be. Once I beat him, it’ll make him a little more humble--I would hope. And then… then I may leave school because I don’t know how much more drama I can handle.

Shit… Daddy is going to be really angry if I tell him about this. I think I’ll keep this one quiet, because I don’t want him to come here and talk to Dr. Asano about it or take me out of school. When I feel a little less dizzy, I get up and dust myself off before heading to the door. Thankfully I told Daddy I’d be kind of late because I was supposed to have a meeting with… shit, I need to get down there! When I open the door, I am surprisingly greeted with orange hair and violet eyes… 

Before he can say anything, I shove past him and head to his father’s office to tell him I can’t stay long, call my daddy, and then go home. Hopefully it doesn’t look like I’ve been crying… knowing him, he’ll probably make fun of me. Whatever… it can’t be helped. Break starts today and this will be the last time I see him until January. When I open his doors, I find him sitting at his desk, writing something down. The moment his eyes meet mine, I know that my face still looks like shit. “Mr. Akabane… are you… alright?”

I nod, closing the doors behind me and walking up to his desk, hiding my face to the best of my ability. “What do you need?”

“Did Gakushuu do something to you?” That’s the first time I’ve ever heard him refer to his son by his first name, and the first time I’ve heard him sound actually concerned about me. I shake my head and he gets to his feet, wedging his way in between me and his desk. “Did he hurt you?” I shake my head again--technically no, I mean… he hurt my wrist, but that was already hurt. Speaking of my wrist, Dr. Asano grabs it, unwraps it, looks at it and feels around, and then sighs. “This looks very poorly treated, Karma.” He called me Karma! Why do I feel like we’ve gotten closer? “Did you break it?”

Hmm… no, it wasn’t broken I don’t think. “Just a bad sprain. I’m fine.” I try to pull away from him, but he doesn’t let go and I yelp, nearly crying because fucking ow! “Why the fu... _Ow_!”

“You do not seem fine,” he shakes his head at me disapprovingly, “What happened?”

Not that it’s his business, but I’ll tell him what I told everyone else. “I dozed off and fell out of my chair the night before exams and my weight pretty much crushed my wrist.”

“Your father did not take you to the hospital?”

“I don’t like hospitals,” I say almost immediately, though I’ve never been in one… Daddy usually takes care of me because doctors will probably try to separate us. This time, though… I treated it myself and told him everything was fine. After he hurt me like that while sober, I just… I dunno; I didn’t want him to touch me, which is very unlike me. Those wine colored eyes narrow at me and I just smile. “Geez, I don’t know why you’re so worried about me. Everything is okay, I swear.” I reach up to pat his head like I normally do with Daddy and he blinks a few times, clearly taken off guard. Shit! “Sorry, I…” I don't know what the fuck came over me.

He merely shakes it off, “Clearly it has been a day for you, so do not worry about it.” He pauses for a moment, and then gives me a look. “Is there anything you need to tell me?” Why is he acting so damn concerned and fatherly; he’s a bad father, I know he is, so why…!? It’s almost like he thinks I’m a child who can’t fend for himself. I shake my head, looking at the ground. Sighing, he rewraps my wrist almost expertly and then goes back behind his desk. “If you need anything over break, feel free to call.” He slides a small card in front of me and I take it; it’s his number.

Biting the inside of my lip, I glance up at him. “Nothing is going on at home, I assure you.” He gives me a look, almost as if silently saying ‘we both know that’s not true’ but doesn’t come right out and say it. If he does, he could probably get in trouble or something--I dunno. But what I do know is this, he’s like Daddy; he hurts Gakushuu. I’ve seen the makeup, and I know those bruises he sometimes has aren’t from soccer because I watch him in gym: no one can touch him. Still… why is he so worried about my homelife when he is the same way? 

Then again, they’re not all the same considering how different Gakushuu and I are, plus they’re very distant whereas me and Daddy are thick as thieves when he’s not hurting me… but I don’t really want to think into things right now. I shove it into my pocket and grin at him. “I’ll call just to bug you, if that’s what you want~” I tease, sticking my tongue out at him to try and lighten this heavy mood. The doors open as I say that and I mentally pray that it isn’t Gakushuu who just walked in.

Smirking, he shakes his head. “If you really must…” His eyes flick up slightly and his smirk grows more devious. You know what, I bet he’s only being so nice to me to piss his son off; I really wouldn’t be surprised. “Mr. Asano, I am clearly a little busy right--

“No, I can go,” I squeeze the shoulder straps on my bag and turn around, not making eye contact with son Asano… I just, I can’t right now. I don’t want to talk to him until I can prove myself… prove my worth to him. I’ll show him that I’m not some nobody and that he can’t talk down to me anymore. By the time finals results are posted, he’s going to _want_ to talk to me. But that can’t happen until I beat him. “Thank you, Dr. Asano… see you after break.” I think someone says something as I leave, but I shut the doors behind me and just slide down the wall, hating how fast my heart is racing because of that bastard.

Because I’m close to the door, and Gakushuu is yelling, I can hear what he says. “Stop toying with him!” Then, “I know you’re only getting all close to him to get under my skin!” And then, “No! I didn’t hurt him. I mean, I grabbed his arm and…” Then I can’t hear anymore, so I get in a little closer so I can. “I wouldn’t have grabbed him like that if I knew, but he acted like it didn’t hurt that bad.” Why the fuck do they even care? Clearly I’m nothing more than a pawn… I should have figured that. Honestly, why would anyone actually--

“Mr. Asano, I find Mr. Akabane very intriguing. Besides, he is the only challenge you will probably ever have in your high school years, and I plan to utilize that to the fullest extent. This rivalry will help make both of you stronger and smarter.” 

“Chairman, I understand where you’re coming from here, but… I honestly think he’ll break by the time finals come around. You saw him at midterms, he was an absolute mess. He’s too weak to keep up and you know it. I refuse to back down, Karma Akabane does _not_ belong here.” 

And that is where I will tune out because I don’t want to hear about this anymore… I know they’re going to start trash talking soon and I can’t handle a mental beating as bad as the last one. From now on, I’m going to stay away from the Asano’s… until I can prove myself, I refuse to associate with them unless absolutely necessary. Because I’m not weak… Daddy said so. Besides, Dr. Asano is getting close to uncovering the truth about home and I don’t want to lose Daddy… I can’t. I need him like a fish needs water; I won’t be able to live without him.

Sighing, I pull out my phone and call him on my way to the front doors. _“Hey baby, I’m parked in the normal spot.”_

“M’kay,” I say as normally as possible, hoping I’ll be able to hide what happened with Gakushuu without issue. “How was work?”

_“Awful… how was school?”_

“Awful,” I laugh a little, “At least I’m on break now, though.”

_“Thank God… you have no idea how shitty it is missing you all day.”_

My face heats up like a lovesick teenager and I groan, “Don’t say things like that…” He chuckles and I feel the need to add, “I miss you too, though. Somedays it’s just like… ugh.”

_“I know what you mean. I had an ugh day today and just… can you run here?”_

This man… he’s too much. “Yeah, I’ll hurry up. Love you.” And with that, I hang up and sprint to him. Even though I’m still kind of mad at him, I know I deserved it, and I know he loves me. Everything he does is because he loves me.

_He loves me. He loves me. He loves me._

When I got to the car, he wrapped me in his arms, and then we stayed silent on the way home… sometimes just being with each other is enough. As soon as we pull into the garage and the door closes, though, he pulls me over onto his lap and kisses me. “You smell like her again,” he mutters, not angry, but a bit perturbed. “And someone else…” Fuck, he has a good fucking nose, I forgot all about how close I was to that egotistical maniac!

“Manami is just--ah~” I moan quietly when he bites my neck a little too hard, which means he’s getting angry. Shit. “A friend, Tadaomi.” I’m not supposed to call him Daddy in situations like this, he tells me it’s weird, which I don’t get but… oh well. What he says goes. “And I was with the chairman again--fuck, ow…” My head was just thrown into the window, not like in a mean way, but in the way where he wants to be in control and toss me around. “And I almost ran over his son on my way out.” Not a lie… technically. 

His warm hands travel up my torso, popping the buttons on my shirt slowly. “The boy you nearly beat?” I nod, unable to say words because he’s grinding against me and I feel my senses fading as he pulls me in and kisses me. When I was younger, I have to admit, this felt weird--wrong, being intimate with my father figure. But he’s spent the last three or so years telling me it’s okay because he loves me and we were meant to be together; that he met Mommy so he could eventually end up with me. Not that he was attracted to me when I was little or anything…! Just… I’m no good at explaining it. Basically it was fate, that’s all! So anyway, it must be okay… he wouldn’t say it was if it wasn’t. Right…?

Of course Mommy’s voice nags me in the back of my mind, seeing her go through some of these same things kind of scarred me, but I’ve learned to block it out for the most part; Daddy loves me more than he ever loved her and intimacy is what you partake in with the people you truly love… even when you sometimes don’t want to… 

Too cramped; not enough room; want bed. “Can we go inside?” I mumble, arching my back and trying not to hit my head on the roof of the car as he rubs me through my pants. The door opens and we get out. Rather than going in right away, he kisses me against the car, and then the door, and then the kitchen table, and all the way up the stairs, and then finally his bed. The moment he pushes me down on the bed, I pull him down by his tie, smirking devilishly as our breaths intermingle, lips not yet touching even though he desperately wants them to.

“Tease,” he murmurs, chasing after my lips and failing. “Such a bratty tease.”

Am I a tease? Yes. Am I a brat? Also yes. But he loves it and he knows it. Ever so slowly, he begins inching my white button up down my shoulders since my jacket had already been lost somewhere in the fray of getting up here. He’s very impatient, if that wasn’t already obvious, but I do my best to keep things slow. I start untying his tie and smile, “But you love me anyway~”

He smirks, taking my shirt off completely before pushing me back, removing everything on his upper body and revealing his fucking abs that I wish I had; it’s not fair how muscly he is at his age. Actually, I don’t know his actual age because he refuses to tell me, but I’m pretty sure he’s younger than Mommy…? I dunno, throughout the entire time I’ve known him, it’s like he hasn’t aged at all. “Maybe just a little~” I pout at him and he presses his lips to my neck, “Way more than just a little, Karma. You know that.”

And I do know… I know he does. The fact that he loves me has been drilled into my head since day one, not that I don’t believe it, but… sometimes I wish it would have blossomed all on its own because sometimes I find myself questioning the sincerity of my love for him. Of course I give myself to him with everything I have, but because I felt forced in the past… having sex with him like this is just, it gets to me sometimes. Am I forcing myself like Mommy, or do I really love him enough to do this with him? These thoughts are because of Mommy, of course, because she knows… she knows I do these intimate things with him, she knew it was happening before she left, but she never said anything.

It’s her fault that I’m like this… not Daddy’s. Still, I hate that I’m so conflicted, even now. Of course there are days where this takes a load of stress off my shoulders, but there are even more days where it adds so much more.

“Don’t think so much,” Tadaomi’s low, husky voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I find both of us completely naked. Oops, I really zoned out there. “Just… relax, baby. Okay?” I nod, splaying myself out and loosening myself up for him. I close my eyes when I feel him… just trying to block out all the stress and anxiety from today so I can focus on him. I try to block out all those cruel words; those cold violet orbs; his sickeningly sweet scent when he was so close to me; how his touch felt on my skin; his stupid, perfect face. A sharp pain snaps me back into reality and I glance up to find him bending my hurt wrist back. “Who were you just thinking about?”

“Y-You!” I cry out, fighting against his hold, which only makes the pain that much worse. “Please let go!” Ow, fuck this hurts… shit, I’m gonna pass out. It feels like he’s literally ripping the bones apart. When he doesn’t give, I kick him back and he falls off the bed. OH. _SHIT_. I quickly scurry down after him and make sure he’s okay, only to be socked in the face. Which is okay because I fucking deserved that; I could have hurt him so badly! “Daddy, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to!” Sometimes I forget my own strength, and when my body goes all ‘fight or flight’ and chooses fight, it usually ends with me in an immense amount of pain. 

When he grabs me by my throat and lifts me up to my feet, I know I fucked up very, _very_ badly. My toes can just barely touch the ground and this hurts so bad; despite my better judgment, I reach up and try to pry his hand from my throat. “You _really_ shouldn’t have done that, Karma.” I know… I know I shouldn’t have, but I did! And I have no fucking idea why! What is up with me lately!? “Why must you--

And I break down in tears, desperately latching onto his arm and just sobbing because I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me--to us. “I-I’m s-sorry! It w-was a re...flex and…!” He lets go of my throat and I drop down on the floor, sprawled out and gasping for air as he kneels in front of me with a guilty look on his face. “Don’t… it’s not your fault. I just… I had a really bad day at school, Daddy… can we please just… start over? Please? I’ll be a good boy this time, I swear. I’ll be a good boy,” I whisper as loud as I can manage, tears falling down my cheeks that he so gently wipes away.

Just like that, things are better… that’s how I know Daddy loves me, because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be hugging me and apologizing and asking what had happened. Maybe he has a bad temper, and maybe he has an explosive temper when he’s drunk, but he loves me… I know he does. At least when he’s sober he has more control over himself and this actually _can_ happen. When I’m done explaining the basics of what happened, we’re curled up under the covers and he’s twisting at my hair gently… though he’s clearly upset. “Karma, I’m glad you didn’t fight him… but I’m also surprised that you maintained control with him talking down to you like that.”

I nod once, because that’s all I can do since it hurts so bad to move. “I’m just as surprised as you are… I don’t know what it was, but something held me back,” I say as I hook a leg over his waist and just try to relax into him. It feels a lot better getting that off of my chest, if only it hadn’t had to come out under the circumstances that it did, things would probably be a little better. Still, we’re okay and calm now, so there’s nothing to worry about. “Probably didn’t want to get in trouble.”

“Smart,” he kisses my head, “But I can’t say that I’d have been too upset. What he said was completely uncalled for. Like father, like son, huh? Such pretentious assholes.” Eh, Gakuhou isn’t so bad… he was nice enough to at least try and get me to spill the beans about what happens here. But Gakushuu is definitely a major asshole… though, he did look concerned about my arm when he hurt it. Underneath all that ice cold arrogance, he cares at least a little about other people. “Are you sure I don’t need to call the school?”

No way… Gakuhou probably forced it out of him, and he was probably reprimanded for being so unsightly towards someone because that definitely seems like the kind of person that man is--plus, with all the things Gakushuu said to me, and he was acting fairly disrespectful and uncivilized himself… Gakuhou probably had at it. Plus, we were on the roof, I’m sure someone heard us… they probably didn’t know it was us, but they heard it. “No, it’ll be fine. I’m sure he’ll avoid me again, just like this semester. I’ll kick his ass at finals, though… then he won’t be able to talk down to me.”

Sighing into my hair, he pulls me closer. “That’s my boy… how about you rest a bit and I’ll get started on dinner?” I go to protest--because what about what we were about to do before I majorly fucked up--but he kisses my forehead. “Later on tonight… you’re too out of sorts right now, and I don’t want to hurt you.” Yeah… that last part is something he says often. If that was the truth, he wouldn’t hurt me, obviously. Even though I deserve it, he wouldn’t do it… he’d punish me some other way. But whatever, I’m used to it.

“M’kay,” I murmur, closing my eyes and feeling cold when his presence leaves the bed… “Miss you already~” He chuckles lightly, saying something about me being needy under his breath, and then he kisses my head. That’s all I need from him, really… intimacy without the sex. Not that I don’t like sex, again, it’s not like that, I just hate feeling so conflicted; normal dads don’t have sex with their sons.

“I’ll wake you in an hour.” I hum in response and then curl up under the covers, cursing myself for not putting any clothes on. Thankfully he reads my mind and hands me some pajamas and boxers that I take gratefully and scramble to put on rather quickly. “God, you’re so cute.” I pout at him a bit, swatting at him. “See? Cute. You just proved my point.”

My smile grows slightly, secretly liking being called cute by him. “You’re cute.” He scowls and I sit up, attacking him with a hug, “You totally are, don’t deny it.”

He rolls his eyes playfully, hugging me and inhaling my scent, “Take a shower… you smell like other people and I can’t stand it.” Ugh… but that takes so much work! “After you rest, I don’t want you collapsing, plus, I’ll have to help you since you can barely move your wrist now… sorry about that, I just… I don’t know, I saw red.”

Kissing his lips softly, I smile, “It’s okay, I deserved it.” He simply kisses my head and lays me back down, tucking me in before leaving. When I know he’s gone, I immediately curl up and cradle my wrist before letting the tears spill from my eyes; fuck it was so hard to hold that in for so long! Ow, fucking ow! I think he broke it, I really do… it’s swelling even more and I have half a mind to call Gakuhou, but Daddy would get pissed off if I did. Just as I’m about to drift off to sleep, my phone buzzes.

**Manami**  
Hi Karma! What did the Ice Prince want?

**Karma**  
Nothing really lol just to yell at me and call me names xD

**Manami**  
Wow… to think you can make him break his composure like that. Crazy lol

**Karma**  
I think he likes me lmao ;p

**Manami**  
lol deffffff ;)

**Karma**  
Cool if I go? I was about to pass out lol but I’ll text you over break and we can hang out, mkay?

**Manami**  
Oops! Sorry! Yeah anytime :) have a good nap!

Ugh, she makes me sound like a child. Even still, I set my phone aside, close my eyes, and fall asleep rather quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully that was good! Again, poor baby Karma.
> 
> I know Gakuhou seems a bit out of character when it comes to Karma, and I have an explanation for that in a future chapter (don't remember which one). I know Karma seems happy with Tadaomi at times, but he's just very confused, conflicted, and maybe even a bit brainwashed. Karma has pretty much been manipulated his entire time with Tadaomi, so forgive his wishy-washy thoughts when it comes to his relationship with his father.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes! Thank you for reading, kudos, and comments; I appreciate you all so much. c:


	10. Corrections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu's behavior is 'corrected'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't so sure about this chapter, but I think it turned out pretty alright. 
> 
> As you're reading this, keep in mind that as strong as Gakushuu is, the kid is only 15.
> 
> Warning: the last half of the chapter is all pretty much abuse/borderline torture.

Karma is taking a while… I need to lock the roof, but I do not particularly want to face him again. It was an adrenaline rush and all, but too much of that and I may become obsessed. Of course meeting Father’s expectations and being like him is my goal, but… hurting someone like my mother and I were hurt is not something I want to do. Denying that she deserved it would be a lie, but despite how weak Karma may be, he doesn’t deserve a physical beating. That would just be uncivilized. Sure, our ‘talk’ wasn’t all that civilized now that I think about it, but… oh well. That little bastard needed to know his place. And his place is beneath me.

But I digress. Sighing to myself, I lean against the wall and wait for him to come out, which is when I hear the sobbing. My chest tightens at this and I don’t know why. This should be a good thing… this means I did an adequate job of putting that no good brat in his place. Just a few minutes ago I was happy to put him in such a pathetic, vulnerable state, but now…? Now I kind of feel guilty. No, no Gakushuu. Father never felt guilty, and he was doing it to better you, so… that’s what I did to Karma. Hmm, I guess I just contradicted myself, huh? No matter, after this semester I’m sure I’ll never have to see him again because he’ll be sent down to E-class, or out of this school entirely. 

I look forward to him breaking, I really do. There’s no room for him here, and pitying him like my father is just wrong. My thoughts are interrupted when the door opens and I find his puffy golden eyes and disheveled appearance. Maybe… maybe I should apologize. Even I must admit that I may have gone to far. But before I can say anything, he scrunches his face and shoves past me, nearly ramming me into the wall with that shoulder-check. I’d be angry… but if someone said those things to me, I’d probably be pretty upset too. Not all melodramatic like him, but more like… annoyed, or irritated.

Since he’s gone and clearly avoiding me, I simply lock the door and head back downstairs at a very slow pace. Having Father laugh in my face again isn’t something I’d like to have happen, but it probably will. A person actually turned me down and mouthed off to me… that part was angering, but slightly exhilarating. No one my age is brave enough to do that; no one except that sorry excuse for a person. My impression of him hasn’t changed: he’s still weak, undisciplined, and I dislike him greatly. But he’s no coward, I’ll give him that. Not to mention he’s actually kind of intelligent when he’s not running his mouth.

Finally, I find myself at the Chairman’s door, not bothering to knock as I head inside. “I’ll call just to bug you, if that’s what you want~” Um… call him? Did my father honestly give that demon child his number? That’s… unheard of. Not only that, but how can he talk to my father so cheerfully and teasingly? It’s hard for me to even speak to him without sounding bitter, but Akabane can just speak so familiarly with him?! Not that I’m jealous, just irritated; how is it that my father is okay being spoken to and teased like that? If that were me, my face would be at the bottom of his shoe.

“If you really must…” He smirks as he shakes his head. The moment his dark colored eyes meet mine, the smirk on his stupid face grows even more. How smug can this man be? Why is he showing this kind of behavior in front of another student? Why… why are they so close? Just as soon as it came, the smirk fades into a blank stare, just trying to make me angry. From friendly, to smug, to blank; my father is a very unpleasant man. “Mr. Asano, I am clearly a little busy right--

“No, I can go,” Karma is quick to interrupt as he turns around, not making eye contact with me, and persistently avoiding it no matter how many times I try to meet his eyes. Not that I really care, I just want to see if his face cleared up a bit; it’d also be nice to know if he’s still butthurt about what happened on the roof. Not that I feel bad or anything like that; he got what he deserved, picking a fight with me like that. “Thank you, Dr. Asano… see you after break.” 

The way he said that sounded so forced and broken… if Father knows I made someone feel that way, he probably won’t be too happy. “Karma, wait--” But the doors shut and I’m left alone with my father, who looks very, very irritated with me. But this is _his_ fault! “Stop toying with him!” That’s all he’s doing, just to anger me because he lives to make my life Hell. My dislike towards Akabane is obvious and my father is just using him. “I know you’re only getting all close to him to get under my skin!” 

His demeanor has shifted back to his normal cold, superficial one and he looks fairly disappointed with me. “Did you hurt that child?” He keeps his voice low so no one outside of this office is able to hear him arguing with me. ‘Perfect Dad’ is what he likes to play… but that’s all it is, an act. Fake.

“No! I didn’t hurt him. I mean, I grabbed his arm and… I knew something was wrong so I just loosened up a bit.”

Shaking his head, he lets out an irritated sigh, “His wrist is well-near, if not already, broken.” 

Crap… I may have just made his problem a lot worse. From what I heard, he was studying and fell out of his chair… but would that really put someone in so much pain? As tall as he is, he really doesn’t look that incredibly heavy. Landing on it wrong could cause swelling, though. Whatever, no time to overthink it now. What’s done is done, but… “I wouldn’t have grabbed him like that if I knew, but he acted like it didn’t hurt that bad.” And I mean that. If it really is as bad as Father says, then I could have accidentally broken it. Now _that_ would actually make me feel really, really bad. Kind of makes me wonder though: how is he so good at concealing his pain? Probably a skill from being a delinquent.

Now he has this subtly furious look on his face and I already know I’m in for it when I get home. “Mr. Asano, I find Mr. Akabane very intriguing. Besides, he is the only challenge you will probably ever have in your high school years, and I plan to utilize that to the fullest extent. This rivalry will help make both of you stronger and smarter.” 

Yes… this makes sense. That boy, for some weird reason, is able to challenge me… perhaps match my intelligence. I really can’t deny that after seeing all of his exams, but he has a weakness. A very big, detrimental to his mental health, weakness. “Chairman, I understand where you’re coming from here, but… I honestly think he’ll break by the time finals come around. You saw him at midterms, he was an absolute mess. He’s too weak to keep up and you know it. I refuse to back down, Karma Akabane does _not_ belong here.” He just… he can’t keep up. At midterms, he really did look like he was about two seconds away from passing out. I know he had the hurt wrist, but that’s no excuse for how terrible he looked; he even fell asleep during the exam. And now I just got him all riled up… it’ll only get worse from here. He’s slowly deteriorating, and he will continue to do so until finally he’s nothing more than an empty shell.

Kind of like me… I feel empty. I’m heartless when it comes to other people. Pretty much all I do is school related: study, homework, exams. Winning makes me feel good, but it's not enough to fill the void. Today and a few other times before now, that redheaded little turd has ignited something in me no one else has been able to. If he were stronger, I’d probably enjoy the challenge. But with the way he is now, it just feels like an insult to my intelligence; an insult to every freaking thing that I have had to put up with to get to this point. The abuse has slowed down since I’ve been better about being what my father expects of me, but it still happens from time to time. And then some carefree little demon thinks he can swoop in and not only threaten to take number one from me, but steal my own father from me? No. He has no idea what I’ve been through to get to this point: all the abuse, the humiliation, the degrading. He will not be taking first at finals, nor will he have anything to do with my father.

We’re silent for a moment before he finally speaks. “You keep saying that, Mr. Asano,” he keeps his professional tone, calm and steady. But I can tell he’s not happy that I still feel this way. “Yet he only keeps improving. His appearance at midterms was definitely that of a stressed out teenager, but he made it. He would have scored perfectly had he not invalidated the answers. I suggest you start taking him a little more seriously.”

“Why would I take a worthless waste of space like that bastard seriously?” I bite back, hating how he is so defensive over him--some brat he barely even knows. "Honestly, I--"

“Did you say that to him?” I snap my mouth shut, nodding curtly. Lying would only hurt my case. “What else did you say?” I’m hesitant to answer that one--because he definitely won’t like what I had to say--and he slams a fist down on his desk, startling me a bit. Well… I am royally screwed. So I spill everything about what we said to each other and Father is _furious_. “I did not teach you to insult and tear down people like that, Mr. Asano. What on earth were you thinking?!”

That’s a lie… he did teach me. Everything I know is because of him. Abusive or not, he raised me. Father is the reason I am the way I am. Keeping my head down is the most obvious answer since he’s so perturbed, but I can’t… not this time. “You torment the E-class, so why is it so wrong to talk down to him?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing at me… yeah, when we get home I’m so dead. “For good reason; that is the system here, and I plan to keep it in check. And I do not personally harm them, I just provide the tools, Mr. Asano. Mr. Akabane is different; unlike them, he is actually intelligent enough to be here. You had no right to do that.”

“You still _allow_ it to happen, Father! How is that any better than chewing out one idiotic piece of trash that I can't stand!?” I snap at him. Maybe chewing out Karma like that wasn’t a good thing, because now I can’t stop… it just felt so empowering to speak my mind!

“Because that is the way the world works!” he raises his voice louder than usual, staring at me with such an intensity that I feel my knees quiver a bit. This man is my worst nightmare… and I’ve just made him very angry. “I am well aware of how you see Karma, but he cannot help the way he is. He shows great potential, and I refuse to let you tear him down with false accusations and names like that again. So help me God, Gakushuu, I will make your life an even worse living Hell than it already is if you continue acting so unsightly and disrespectful. Leave Karma alone, and do not back talk or snap at me. Do I make myself clear?” His eyes are narrowed at me, paralyzing my body with fear… he hasn’t been this angry in a long time. My heart is hammering against my chest and dread fills my bones as he glares at me like I’m less than crap. “Do I make myself _clear_?” he reiterates sternly, enunciating every word and expecting an answer right away this time.

Rigidly, I nod and try not to have a tone as I speak through gritted teeth. “Yes sir.”

He gets out of his chair and starts packing his things. “We are going home.” He never leaves early, and he never lets me leave with him. When I back up, he merely glares daggers at me, stopping me in my tracks, before continuing. “You look scared.” I open my mouth to say no, I’m not scared, but can’t… my throat feels dry and I can barely utter a sound. Scared? No, I am _terrified_. “Good.” There’s a finality in his tone, so I just stay silent… unable to shake this feeling of impending doom.

And with that, we head out; his hand on my shoulder as we walk out to keep up appearances for the staff who hopefully didn’t catch any of that conversation, and then head towards his car. Usually he has a driver, but this time it’s just us… which is far from good. If it wasn’t break, I would be a lot less worried, but now I have an excuse to be cooped up at home…

And that means he won’t hold back.

Why? Why me? Why am I the one punished when it’s all that stupid Akabane idiot’s fault!? I hope that bastard gets what’s coming to him… I really hope that one day, life sucker punches him so hard that he stays down in the dirt where he belongs.

The moment we pull into the driveway, my stomach feels sick… I’m not looking forward to what happens when we go in. After we enter the house and the door is locked and shut, we take off our shoes before he grabs me by my hair and slams me against the wall. Already, my nose feels like it’s bleeding and I see stars. Father turns me around to face him, and all I see in his eyes is rage and disappointment… like I’ve failed him. “Get that pathetic look off of your face before I punch it off.” As much as I try, I can’t… he’s really scaring me. Out of all of the recent beatings, this is the angriest he’s been. All for what?! That pathetic weakling he favors so much!? So I hurt him and called him names; what’s the big deal!? Father has done far worse to so many people. There is no reason for this kind of treatment over something so small… I didn’t make a mistake, no one but him saw me act so cruel, and in all honesty, that could have ended a lot worse than it actually did.

By the look on his face, I can tell my fear has remained for too long and he knees me in the stomach before hitting my neck, making me fall to the ground in tears. Usually I don’t cry, especially so early… I don’t let him see me cry so he doesn’t have the satisfaction of putting me in a position to look like that. But this time, I’m just so frustrated that I can’t control it. This punishment isn’t justified, he’s just mad that I hurt his weak little student. “And you say Karma is weak… look at you, crying from just three hits. Absolutely _pathetic_ ,” he spats, once again grabbing my hair and dragging me upstairs to either my room, or his room. With the mood he’s in, I don’t know which is worse at the moment.

Wait… what!? Frick, it’s the bathroom. I hate water--still traumatized from the swimming incident--and I have a feeling I know what’s coming next. This has only happened once… it stopped because the last time he attempted this, it nearly killed me. As the tub fills up, he starts tearing off my clothes, not bothering being gentle because he has access to all the uniforms he wants. “Such a disrespectful, disobedient child,” he mutters as the buttons on my white button up fly off as he rips it down the middle. The tearing of the fabric makes me cringe, remembering all the other times he’s done this to me. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s degrading… “Speaking without restraint and then snapping at me.” Rage takes over his eyes and he shoves me back, making me hit my head on the sink counter. “Idiotic child.”

Ow… I blink a few times, that hit to the head really disoriented me. Ow. God, that hurts. The world is spinning, and I can’t see straight; second blow to the head and I’m already worse for wear. Blood drips down into my line of sight, staining my vision red, and I panic… this isn’t going to end well. Stupid Akabane! This is all his fault! My throat is grabbed and he scans me over, eyes narrowed and all I see in his expression behind his rage is disappointment. I failed Father; Father is angry; Father _hates_ me… “I’m s-sorry,” I choke out. It’s difficult due to the fact it feels like he’s crushing my throat, but he has to know I’m sorry… that I’ll be good. “I-I’ll… be g-good. I s-swe--”

“Shut up, dog. You speak when I tell you to since you clearly lack control and finesse. Until you learn to hold your tongue and not snap at me, you can shut up.” Is _that_ what this is about!? Because I _snapped_ at him!? He shakes his head, dropping me to the floor while I gasp for air, coughing something fierce. My windpipes feel like they’re crushed, but he wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that… as awful as he is, he has self-control and restraint. “You have grown far too comfortable with me…” He sneers as he rips off the bottom half of my clothing, leaving me naked. “And it is due time that I reignite that fear within you once more.” 

That’s what he likes… when I fear him. Why he wants his own son to see him as a monster, I don’t know… but I do know that I won’t. Even though I say I hate him sometimes, I really do love him… despite everything he does, I know he does this to better me. To make me stronger, but also to let me know that he’s the one on top… that I am beneath him, and I always will be. That’s why he needs me to be afraid of him, so that I will never surpass him. But I will… I swear to God one of these days I will. Mother’s words echo in the back of my mind, reminding me of the most important thing:

_Don’t you ever let him break you, Shuu._

My cheek is met with a hard smack and I yelp, not expecting that; I was so lost in thought that I kind of zoned the beating and pain out. “Stop thinking about that woman, you pathetic little wimp.” He’s always been able to tell when I think about her… he hates it. “ _Mommy_ is no longer here to protect you, and she never will be. Forget her… she makes you weak.” 

No. I would _never_ forget her. As much as I despise my mother, she _was_ my mother. She gave me life, and protected me when she could. Yes, she abandoned me… and yes, I resent her for being so weak and submissive. But after everything my father has done to me in her absence, I’ve come to realize that she took a lot of the abuse upon herself so I wouldn’t have to. Still, it was cowardly for her to run away like that and leave me, an 11 year old, to deal with that on my own… to leave such a burden on my shoulders. What 11 year old wants to be put in the foster care system? What 11 year old wants to live with the fact that not only did he allow his own mother to commit suicide, but also put his father in prison? That was a burden I could not bare… it was hard enough losing one parent, but losing the other as well…? No, I couldn’t do that. Abusive as he was… I loved him. She was right: I am strong, stronger than she ever was… and that’s why I’m still here, allowing him to mold me into what he wants. It hurts… God does it hurt, but…

It’s worth it.

When my coughing spell lightens, I glance up at my father and he just looks at me like I’m a disgrace as he removes his jacket and shirt, probably so they won’t get wet; as much as I’d like to mouth off, I stay silent… it will only make matters worse if I do the same thing I’m being punished for. Though I’m still feeling woozy and lightheaded, I will not give up. I will not give in to his fear tactics. Being strong means going through this kind of abuse… and I will gladly take it if it betters me. This only makes me want to crush him even more when I rise above him and ruin his life. He can enjoy the power he has over me now, but one day… one day he will acknowledge me as the better Asano. God, will I revel in the expression he makes when that happens.

This time, he grips my arm, shutting off the water before tugging me over to the tub… I swallow thickly just looking at it. “Scared?” he asks, a very evil tone lacing his words. All I can do is stay silent because _yes_ , I am fucking terrified! I hate water… I hate it so much. As many times as I’ve nearly drowned to death, that much should be obvious… which is exactly why Father is doing this. He wouldn’t kill me… I know that, but it doesn’t make this any less terrifying. Whatever he says next, I can’t hear because my head is submerged under water. It’s freezing! Hard as it is, I restrain myself from screaming and flailing, but it doesn’t matter… he’ll make me whether I want to or not. 

His fist connects with my side… again, and again, and again until I finally I’m forced to cough and have to take a breath, which ends up with me choking on water. I don’t know how long he keeps me under, but soon I’m above the surface, choking and gasping for air. My nose burns so badly already. When I spit up water on him, he doesn’t care. “What did you do wong?”

This is stupid. “I m-mouthed off,” I cough a few more times before choking out the last part, “To you and Karma…” And I cough again. 

“If you ever disrespect me like that again I will not hesitate to resort to this punishment more often.” That cannot happen. He submerges me again before I’m ready and I end up flailing around as he repeatedly hits me, desperately trying not to swallow any water. This time he pulls me up quicker, probably so he makes sure I don’t pass out or something… He lets me cough, and then the next time he dunks me, I see black.

My eyes rip open as I cough violently, coughing up water and bile as I watch my father pull away from me… hand on my chest and a blank look on his face. Would he… would he honestly not care if he killed me? I lay there coughing, trying to regain control of my strained breathing. God, I hate water. “So weak,” he mutters, rolling his eyes before pulling me up and going again… and again, and again. My throat burns; my chest burns; my eyes burn; my nose burns. I lost count of how many times I’ve passed out, and the worst part is that I know this is only the beginning.

The next time he dunks me, I scream… I scream so much despite being under water because I’m scared. I don’t want to die, I don’t like this! Water is terrible! Drowning is terrible! I plead for him to stop because I can’t take this… this is one thing that I can’t deal with. This isn’t making me stronger, this is torture and it needs to stop. When I manage to get up, I quickly latch onto him, crying for him to stop; it’s pathetic and humiliating, but this is worse than almost anything I’ve ever experienced before. Not surprisingly, he pries me off, punching me in the stomach so hard that I can’t breathe, and then submerging me yet again. One minute my head is under water and I’m screaming and bawling and fighting against him; the next--at least what feels like the next--I’m on my knees in my room, dripping wet and tied to the wall with my wrists above my head, nose nearly touching the wall while my bare back is exposed to my father. My knees are already shaking and I don’t know how long I’ll last.

First he uses his belt… spanking my butt and telling me how terrible I am until I scream, begging him to stop. It hurts; it stings so bad and the fact that I'm still all wet is making it that much worse. This is not okay! “Stop! Please Father!” I sob out, or at least I tried to; it sounded a lot more like incoherent babbling and sobbing. I hate to beg but this is killing me. I won’t be able to sit right for a week, I’m sure. The belt comes to a stop, but he’s not done… I can feel it. There’s more to come, and it’s far worse than a belt. The crack of his whip makes me whimper… it didn’t even touch me and I’m already terrified. After nearly drowning however many times, and then being spanked so harshly, I’m too far gone to really put on my brave face. This time it’s different; he’s resorted to such cruelty for no good reason, and he hasn’t taken it this far in a fairly long time.

“Pathetic little brat,” he spits at me, pulling my head back by my hair before slamming it against the wall, making me groan as my vision goes white. If I had to guess, he’s looking at me with complete and utter disgust and disappointment. Before I even regain my vision, he strikes me… my back. I writhe at the pain, letting out a silent scream as he hits the same spot once more.

“Father, please!” I beg him, tears streaming down my face. “There is no reason for this--”

“You are not allowed to speak, dog. This is your punishment for being so disrespectful. Not that I need a reason to whip you into shape. This is only to make you stronger.” This time, he must really want to break me… he hasn’t been this harsh in a while. Ever since high school started he's only used his fists… this is far worse.

I let out a yelp when he whips me again, closer to my already stinging butt this time; God, that hurts! “Making me strong and making me fear you is not the same thing!” I scream at him, which only earns another strike, harder this time, definitely breaking the skin; the warm blood trickles down my body and to my thighs. It doesn’t surprise me when he chuckles; this is the kind of thing he enjoys. Me helpless against him. Even if I wasn’t tied up, I wouldn’t be able to fight back… he has the upper hand in every way. For now, I am completely powerless against him… and he _loves_ that. “Please, stop this!” Haven’t I suffered enough!? There is absolutely no good reason for this harsh of a punishment. But he doesn’t… he merely slams my cheek into the wall and chuckles. “You are _sick_!” I yell at him, no longer caring; he’s going to hurt me whether I like it or not, so I better just speak my mind. This, as expected, earns a rather harsh lash, right on my spine, and a few more just out of spite for me back talking him. My mouth opens, but nothing comes out aside from a silent scream.

Things are quiet for a few moments, nothing but the sounds of my ragged breathing, plus the occasional sniffles, whines, and wheezes, filling the silence. First I think he may actually be done, but then he flips me over, twisting my arms in a way they really shouldn’t be twisting and whipping my torso, leaving a nice long, red stripe on me. The way his eyes slightly light up at my scream… it’s sickening. “I am sick? No, I am correcting your bad behavior,” his voice sends chills down my spine. As his eyes darken, his smirk grows; he's really starting to scare me. How could someone find pleasure in hurting their own damn child like this!? For some reason I feel like this isn’t even punishment anymore, or even trying to toughen me up. Like, all he wants is to cause me pain and suffering. As sick and twisted as it sounds, I think he actually finds this very amusing: my writhing, my begging, my crying, my screaming. All of it… he honest to God just enjoys seeing me look so pathetic and in pain. 

That… is terrifying. Does this mean he’ll no longer need a reason to harm me? Is this going to become more frequent? I throw up at the thought and he quickly steps back, looking at me in disgust before checking his pants finding that it did, in fact, splatter up on him. “Filthy child…” Ooh look, I’ve been promoted from dog to child. Sometimes I really don’t like this man. “Wallow in your own filth for a day or two. See if you continue being so disrespectful to me after that.”

“Father, please!” I cry out, fighting against the rope, only to grunt in pain. My arms are really twisted in a way that isn’t good for them. After one more excruciatingly painful whip on my torso, he stands up, walking away from me… no, no he can’t leave me like this. Please. “I’ll be good, I swear! Please don’t leave!” 

Pausing, he turns to look at me… and then he closes his eyes, takes a breath, and walks back over. Oh thank God. But he only hits me across the face… shattering any hope I had of him actually letting me go. “Pathetic child. Begging is so unsightly.” I feel my entire world spin before the darkness swallows me up, letting me escape this reality for just a little while… That’s the only good thing about losing consciousness. Not existing in this nightmare of a life for a few hours… 

xx.

When I wake up, I’m in bed… my wounds are properly taken care of and dressed, but aside from the bandaging, I’m naked. When I try to sit up, I’m tugged back by something around my neck. Crap… it’s the dog collar and leash. Father truly is a sick man, treating his only child like some sort of dog. It’s demeaning and humiliating. When I try to speak, my voice comes out very hoarse and my throat feels raw… probably from all the screaming, crying, and water damage. “Oh, you are finally awake.” I look over to find my father at my desk, leash around his wrist and book in hand. Amusement flickers in his evil eyes and all I want to do is wipe that smug look off his face. “You look so pathetically weak right now. It is revolting.”

“Then go away,” I manage to get out, only to cough as he tugs on the leash. “Ow…”

“With pleasure.” He stands up, pulling me out of bed by the leash, making me fall onto the floor, and then tugging me up to my feet. All the while, my body is screaming at me, pain taking over and vision fading; my throat feels like it’s closing. Ow, this hurts so bad. Hell, I can barely stand on my own, and he can tell because he’s holding me up. Things haven’t been like this, not for a while… and I forgot how bad this kind of abuse sucked. “I expect you to have all five chapters done by dinner.” He sits me down in my desk chair and I cry out in pain; I think he left welts on my butt. I find my trigonometry book opened on my desk… the chapters we don’t learn in class are marked. “Now, what do you say?”

Gritting my teeth, I close my eyes and take a breath. “Yes _sir_ ,” I nearly growl, but manage to keep myself decently calm. He tugs at my leash and I start chewing on the inside of my bottom lip very aggressively. This is absolutely humiliating. “Sorry for my bad behavior and disrespecting you. I will do better. Thank you for correcting me.”

“Good dog,” he pets my head, removing the leash and leaving me in nothing but the collar around my neck and the bandages around my aching, battered body. As much as I’d love to put on some clothes, I know he won’t let me… not even boxers or socks. And because he’s him, he has it absolutely freezing in here just to make things worse. “See you in three hours.”

“Wait,” I cough, hearing him pause before continuing, “How long was I out?”

“Almost an entire day. You were half awake when I took you to the bathroom a couple times, but I doubt you remember that." I shake my head, not remembering that at all. "Your body was pretty exhausted. You are lucky I did not just leave you tied to the wall.” He smirks at the obvious hurt in my eyes before continuing on his way.

Wow… he really had at it, and he really is an awful man. His footsteps get farther away until the door is shut, and that’s when I finally let the dam break. I silently cry to myself, hating how powerless I am against him. Why does he hate me? Why does he do this? This may have started out as punishment, but in the end this was just to amuse him; he felt more than pleased with himself for making me like this. Even so, he won’t break me… I won’t let him. After a few moments of getting all the tears out of my system, I wipe my eyes and begin my work. Fighting through the pain; trying to ignore how badly it hurts to breathe, sit, and write… because that’s really all I can do unless I want him to hurt me again.

Sometimes I really, really, _really_ hate my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby Shuu.
> 
> So... Gakuhou kind of lost it here. While he was irritated that Gakushuu was so mean to Karma, that was only the tip of the iceberg. Having Gakushuu snap at him and mouth off set him off in a pretty bad way, obviously. There's not much that Gakuhou hates more than his own son being disrespectful towards him; he raised the kid, so he feels he should be respected no matter what. Disrespect called for correcting the behavior, and in the middle there, he did kind of lose his composure to his rage.
> 
> If there are a ton of mistakes, I apologize; I've been up for almost 24 hours and had nothing to do for the last few hours since it was so early/late, so I decided to work on this and finished it at... oh, would you look at that, 5:30 in the morning ;-;
> 
> Hope you all are enjoying it so far. Thanks for reading/kudos/comments! :)


	11. Is the Universe Against Karma? Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Karma's break went, and his first day back at school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry. You most likely don’t want to hear my excuses, nor my issues, so I will spare you the details.  
> It’s been nearly a year since I’ve posted and I don’t even know how. It really didn’t feel like that long, and I kept telling myself I needed to update, but kept putting it off because of a lot of different shit. Hell, I stopped writing it for a while after that last chapter. It didn’t feel like it, but it was a good two months that I didn’t even look at this thing. Which then led to other issues, but I managed. Wrote a whole bunch (not just this, either), and then continued not posting it or anything else.  
> If you’re still around, wonderful, thank you for waiting. I know this isn’t the best story, and my writing isn’t all that great, but thank you for reading and leaving kudos and comments, I genuinely appreciate it.

Break. Was. So. Bad. 

So I hung out with Manami a few times because Daddy decided he trusted me enough to go out for a few hours… or maybe he was trying to make up for hurting me so badly. Honestly, I can never say for sure with him. On the day before my birthday, Manami and I were sitting in some cafe drinking hot cocoa, when all of a sudden I see Gakushuu and his dad; we both did the best we could to hide. But that’s not even the bad part, the bad part is that she confessed her love to me and I nearly spit out my cocoa and pissed my pants, so I excused myself to the bathroom because if Daddy found out about that, I was dead; done for; never allowed to leave ever again. How did I not realize she liked me like that!? Because I’m an oblivious fucking idiot.

And the worst part? I ran smack into Gakushuu! He is like a fucking magnet for me to fucking run into, I fucking swear! (The universe must be against me). Only this time, I legit fell on top of him, his dad _laughed_ of all things, and I hurt my wrist trying to catch myself, so I yelped in his ear, which he hit me for. The night I’d thought Daddy had broken it, I was right… he felt like shit and set it before putting it in a makeshift splint. So yeah, there I was, in pain on top of my rival, and I got a boner because I don’t even fucking know (because the universe is against me?). He just kind of blinked at me, and I fucking ran in the bathroom before I could humiliate anyone else. Bawling, I called Daddy to pick me up and punched the brick wall with my good hand until it was bloody and swollen.

The near worst part? Gakuhou walked in, restrained me from hurting myself, and took a look at my braced wrist, asking why it still wasn’t looking better at all. I lied, of course, saying I broke it because I got angry, forgot it was already hurt, and punched a wall when my dad and I got into a fight. Which he didn’t believe for a second, even though it was actually really close to the truth. When he asked what I was doing to help it, I told him that I was taking a shitload of painkillers and icing it when I remembered; which wasn't a lie considering Daddy's unpredictability, there was no sense in doing things to help when it was probably going to get hurt again in a few days. Of course I tried to flee as soon as I could, but he stopped me with this concerned look on his face. Apparently he was feeling the Christmas cheer because he told me he’d get me some pills for the swelling and shit as soon as he could, which I was grateful for… but I couldn’t look him in the eyes because I had just realized that I may have been slightly attracted to his son, so that would be fun to deal with. The first person my age I’m attracted to is a male, an egotistical asshole, and the son of a very uptight man.

So yeah… the last day of being 15 was literally _the worst_ day I’d had as a 15 year old. It took the damn cake for everything else that had happened in that last year by far. Because not only did I completely humiliate and hurt my best friend, but Gakushuu Asano now had dirt on me—very bad dirt that would probably get me beat up, if he didn’t do so first. As of that moment, I believed my life was officially over and that Daddy and I would have to move far, far away. Though, that didn’t happen… he merely picked me up and then fucked away the humiliation, replacing it with pain because I definitely wasn’t in the mood at that point. Rebroke my fucking wrist in the process, which I had to reset, and it was miserable. 

The next day I turned 16 and it was fucking fantastic: Daddy bought me a fucking car! I almost shit my pants because he is literally the greatest person ever. Then I received a text from some number telling me to come outside my house… I was a little hesitant because Daddy was in the shower and he always told me not to leave without telling him, but did so anyway because I wasn't really leaving the premises, so it would be fine. Much to my surprise, I was greeted with none other than Gakushuu Asano. “These are from my father… for your wrist.” He handed me a bag and I took it, unable to meet his eyes. “Just act like it never happened, and I will do the same.” And then he left… but not before muttering a happy birthday. It was… weird, hearing that come from his mouth, but I was more relieved about the whole 'forgetting the boner' thing.

The majority of the rest of break was spent with Daddy, who decided to take his anger from work, and his twisted delusions about me leaving him or whatever, out on me… needless to say, the last week and a half of break was complete hell. My back was lined with red, ugly marks; my ankles and wrists were basically scarred with laceration marks from the cuffs and rope; my face was swollen; my ass was so completely wrecked that I couldn’t even sit right and it bled; my body was beaten and bruised; and everywhere fucking hurt.

On New Year’s Eve, Daddy had an office party, so I was forced to stay home alone; he would have taken me, but first of all I was far too beaten and battered, and second of all, he didn't want his work friends to try to steal me away from him. Why he's so possessive of me, I really don't know… there's nothing that great about me, honestly. Anyway, he told me I could drink a little if I wanted, but I declined wholeheartedly; after seeing what alcohol did to him, I never wanted to drink it absolutely _ever_ , and had made that decision when I was 11. It was boring though. Honestly, I got so bored, that I texted Gakushuu when I remembered I had his number because he texted me—apparently he weaseled it out of Manami. He surprisingly texted me back. After some very idle chit chat, I asked if he knew Russian, and he said no, so I started texting in Russian to annoy the hell out of him—it worked very well. Apparently he had his father translate for him later and was very displeased with my texts, telling me to never text him again or else he’d tell the whole school about what I did to Manami.

Speaking of her, she eventually texted me, telling me she was sorry for everything. Which really wasn’t necessary, but I didn’t want to drag it out anymore than it already had been and we made up, but I made sure to explain myself. I told her that it wasn’t that I didn’t like her as a person, but because I was pretty sure that I was more into guys rather than girls, which she felt incredibly embarrassed about—girls are weird. But yeah, so we fixed things, and then I found out I was a week older than Gakushuu. Of course I made sure to rub it in his face that I would outscore him because I was older, hotter, and smarter… he got really mad and blocked my number. Honestly, I was going to pester his dad, but then remembered that I wasn’t going to talk to them until I proved my worth and got all depressed again.

The depression didn't last for long, though, because Daddy came home at like three in the morning, completely plastered and noisy as fuck, and decided he didn't like the irritated look I gave him when he came in being loud and disrupted my sleep. I'd just cried myself to sleep, so of course I was annoyed by being woken up not even an hour later! Despite my thrashing and screaming, he threw me in his bed and started getting really aggressive with me… worse than usual due to his amount of alcohol intake. Surprisingly enough, he'd mellowed out a bit when I'd latched onto him and started sobbing for pretty much no reason other than that I was stressed out, frustrated, and in an immense amount of pain… he finished quickly and held me, letting me talk all night about what was on my mind. 

That was the last time I'd be comforted by him before things went to shit. 

The last four days of break were spent in bed, chained to the wall, or on the floor… I was in and out of consciousness pretty much the whole time, and I wish I didn't remember as much of it as I do. As it turns out, I’m not allowed to speak to Gakushuu, or Manami especially, because he ‘can’t trust me to be around or speak to anyone else.’ Now with Manami, I understood, as she had a crush on me… Gakushuu, though? What had he done?

So yeah… due to my battered body, I called in to the school the morning of the first day back and told Dr. Asano that I seriously couldn’t come in for at least a week because I was so sick that I couldn’t even get out of bed… and he just said he’d have someone bring my homework by and to tell him about anything I needed to. But why would I tell him? So he can take Daddy away? No thank you. I love him and no one will ever separate us. They can't. 

Now, here we are, first day back for me… I don’t want to be here; my body still aches and I’m unbelievably bruised, so I reek of foundation and concealer. Not to mention it's hard for me to move and my eyes are still bloodshot from both crying and straining myself so much. Let’s just hope no one notices and I can go on with my life without issue. Honestly, I should have known better than to even think no one would bother me. The minute my homeroom teacher spots me, he tells me to go straight to the Chairman’s office and I internally groan because that means stairs, which means pain, which means I want to fucking die.

After storming out of the room and making a scene, I'm forced to take it slow because I seriously cannot move well at all, and every step I take makes my body want to completely give out on me; it's mad at me for letting this shit happen, and one of these days it's going to betray me. But not today. Please not today. Just let me make it through school so I can go home and curl up. The second I walk in, he scowls at me and beckons me inside with a deadly serious look on his face. Shit… I’m about to get sent to E-class, aren’t I? So I slowly make my way to his desk, keeping my eyes on the ground, and trying to maintain my balance. “You missed more than a week.” I nod, unsure of what to say to that; it’s true, I was too bruised and sore to come in any earlier. “Do you need a place to stay?” I shake my head; I will never tell him because I don’t want Daddy to go away. “Kar—”

“Stop…! You’re only pretending to care, and I know it! All I am is a pawn for you to use to better your son. And I’m fine with that. Just… don’t _fuck_ with my emotions, Dr. Asano! I can’t… I can’t deal with that kind of shit right now.” I didn’t mean to yell at him like that, but just hearing the concern in his tone… it pisses me the fuck off. He has his own damn son to worry about, not me… I don’t know what his game is here—being so caring towards me while ignoring his son—but I’m done fucking playing. “Nothing is going on at home, Dr. Asano. I was really sick, and I apologize. If you need to send me to E-class, then so be it, but I can’t help what happened.” 

Man, I forgot how exhausting it was to lie like this to someone’s face, it’s no wonder he’s onto me… I need to sharpen my lying skills a bit. Usually I didn’t have to lie because I never left the house, but now I do, and without Daddy no less, so… this is hard. I never realized how much of a toll it took on me until now. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so stressed out at home, too. “Very well, Mr. Akabane,” his tone abruptly hardens and I know he’s pissed at me. “Do you have a doctor’s note for your absences?”

“I didn’t go to the doctor, I don’t—”

“Like hospitals, yes, I know. No more absences without at least some sort of written documentation, or I will be forced to set up a meeting with your father to discuss your standing here.” Anyone else and he would banish them to a lower class without consulting their parent; obviously he’s trying to get me to talk by threatening to have a chat with Daddy, but I won’t. 

Fine, if that’s what he wants, so be it… but when I come to school and spend my entire day in his office, it’s his own fault. Actually wait! Why is this even happening!? If this was anyone else, they would have been in E-class a long time ago. “Why don’t you send me to E-class? Clearly all I am is a weak, worthless waste of space to you, so why bother? I can work just as well in a lower class.”

“Are you truly that dense, Mr. Akabane?” What? What is he talking about? “If I thought you were any of what Mr. Asano said you were, do you really think I would be wasting my time with you?” Well… I guess that is kind of true. Would he really just do all this to piss his son off? Maybe he does actually care…? “I told you, Mr. Akabane: I see great potential in you. Especially after midterms. Aside from your attitude and swearing, you really are an intelligent, likeable young man.”

Can I trust that? Knots fill my stomach and I just… don’t know what to believe anymore. “You’re… You’re lying…” Daddy says he doesn’t entirely trust Gakuhou because for some reason he believes he’s attracted to me, which is ridiculous because the man seems straight as a board… really, he seems to be asexual to be perfectly honest. Maybe even in love with himself; it really wouldn’t surprise me, given his obvious narcissism. 

Sighing, he pinches the bridge of his nose, obviously irritated at me for calling him a liar. “Why else would I allow you to come into my office whenever you feel the need, help you with your work, give you my personal phone number, and show genuine concern for your wellbeing?”

Well… there could be a number of reasons, but I really don’t think he’s being facetious here. If I'm being honest, he doesn't seem like the type to go this far for someone he doesn't actually care about. Fake or not, he's spent a lot of time and effort looking after me and making sure I'm safe. Maybe he's just taking pity on me, which I don't like at all. “Because you uh… think I’m a weakling who can’t fend for myself?” That one actually makes a lot of sense. When he stays silent for a long while, I blink a few times; is that seriously the reason!? Glancing up at him, I find a puzzled look on his face, as if analyzing our relationship up until this point and wondering if it honestly was because he sees me that way. “Are you fucking kidding me!? Is that really all I am to you?” That actually really fucking hurts!

“No,” he says quickly, a stern look on his face. “No, that is not it. I know you are capable of fending for yourself. While you may not exactly be up to my standards, I do like you, Mr. Akabane.” Then he takes a deep breath, tilting his head at me, “I was wrong to say what I did at the beginning of the year; you are far from weak.” Oh. My. God. Dr. Asano just admitted he was wrong! That’s like, unheard of! “Unlike the other students, you are genuinely intelligent; even on one of your worst days, you gave it your all and scored just 4 points under a perfect score. Again, you show great potential, and you are correct in saying I see you as a challenge for Mr. Asano, but you are most certainly no pawn.”

That’s a lie… he’s lying. I’m a pawn… but he does care. I think there is a part of him that genuinely cares for me, in a different way than his son—a kinder way. Which is kind of sad, and really fucking confusing… “Okay then…” I mumble, not really sure what to say now because it’s kind of embarrassing. “Can I go now?”

He shakes his head, “Let me see your wrist.” I shake my head quickly, cradling it to my chest as if that is actually hiding it from him. Wine colored eyes narrow and he purses his lips, obviously annoyed. Good Lord, can I be any more fucking obvious!? He knows… he definitely knows something is up. But I know things, too, and I think he’s realized that; it’s not all that difficult for an abuse victim to identify an abuser—for me at least. Just seeing how he and his son act around each other, seeing the marks on Gakushuu’s wrists that he tries so hard to keep covered with his sleeves, seeing the makeup to cover the eye bags and bruises… I know. Do I feel bad for Gakushuu? No, not particularly… okay, yes, a little. But only because I know how much pain sucks. “Perhaps I was only half wrong: physically, you are strong… but mentally, you are quite weak.”

Silence… I don’t know what I can really say to that. “Can I _leave_ now?” I choke out, not wanting to let him know that he’s managed to get under my skin with that comment… because he's right. I know he’s right and I fucking hate it. Mentally, I'm very weak… submissive… pliant.

“No, you may not.” I scowl at him and he motions towards the chair in front of his desk. “You will stay here for the remainder of the day.” Before I can protest, he smirks, “Unless you would like to walk down the stairs again, sit at an uncomfortable desk, as well as participate in physical education today…?” Scowling even more, I cross my arms over my chest and plop down in the chair, nearly yelping at the pain it caused; he notices this, of course, but says nothing. Fucking asshole. “I will gather your homework as soon as I finish this email.”

“Don’t you have more important matters to attend to?”

A smile tugs at his lips, “Nothing is more important than the wellbeing of my students.” Yeah right, if that were the case, he wouldn't allow the E-class to be treated like outcasts, and bullying them wouldn’t be tolerated. I mean, I stick up for them whenever possible, but I’m not supposed to fight people, so usually I just stay quiet; it sucks, but angering Daddy isn’t worth it. “Have you done all the homework you missed?” I nod, pulling it out of my bag and handing it to him; usually he'll grade it when I have to miss a day and I’m in his office. “Your handwriting is quite sloppy on these.” Rolling my eyes, I wave my hurt wrist at him and he purses his lips. “I saw you the 24th of December, you had broken it a bit before then, yet it still looks just as bad. Honestly, Mr. Akabane… what on earth are you thinking?”

No! I’m sick of this! He can’t treat me like this! “Why are you treating me like a damn child!?”

“Perhaps because you _are_ just a damn child.” Did he just…? When I open my mouth to protest, he holds up a scolding hand and I quickly snap it back shut, cowering slightly; Daddy does that same motion, it was a habit. Eyeing me a moment, he drops it and then straightens in his chair, “Sixteen or not, you are very immature, Karma.”

My jaw nearly drops and I can’t stop my reply, “Am not!” Yes, very mature, Karma. Fucking idiot!

“You honestly are, especially compared to most of the students in your class. Intelligence-wise, you surpass them greatly, but maturity…? I would have to say yours is perhaps that of a ten year old.”

Are we really having this conversation? Is this our version of a fight? Am I having a spat with the chairman of my school? “Then I’ll just have to prove to you how mature I am!”

As if challenging me, he smirks, “And how will you do that?” I shrug, knowing all the ways I can prove it probably aren’t appropriate. “Exactly. Now sit down and keep quiet.”

“Asshole,” I mumble under my breath and those sharp eyes glare at me, so I stick my tongue out.

“Child,” he clears his throat, ignoring my glare and going back to his work.

Ugh… Why me? Why did the fucking universe choose to be against _me_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully that was sufficient... after almost a year, I really do hope so. It is very nerve wracking for me to post it. Couldn’t think of a chapter title, but that’s okay. I know Gakuhou seems out of character and I will explain this soon. 
> 
> In a couple days, I should post again. Two things, most likely. The first will be a bit of a background thing/information dump pertaining to Gakuhou. It’s pretty much just me explaining shit that I was, to be perfectly honest, too unmotivated to add into the actual story, but feel like it should be known. The second will be an actual chapter, revolving around Gakushuu and his break. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, it’s not as well edited this time around because if I don’t post it soon, I probably won’t post it for another week, and thank you for reading. I appreciate you.


	12. Gakuhou's Very Own Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakuhou’s backstory and a bit of his reasoning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, this is just backstory and you totally don't have to read this if you are not interested in Gakuhou, or want to settle for my attempts of adding some of this into future chapters more in depth (it’s just easier this way, I think, to explicitly state all this stuff because I either a. didn’t remember to add this in what I’ve already written. b. won’t remember to put something in, or c. don’t know how to put it in). I will have a chapter up maybe an hour or so after this so feel free to skip! This is just an explanation of Gakuhou's character background in this story, but if you want to just imagine him with the same backstory as he has in the manga/anime, feel free! It doesn't really impact the story other than maybe give you a better understanding of him if you were confused before. 
> 
> (I’m not an expert in psycology, but I have taken some courses and put what I learned into this).
> 
> A few psychological elements come into play with Gakuhou's character. Elements I just kinda kept in my head because they weren't necessarily important to the point of this story starting out. The reason I didn’t specify this, or any of the below information, anywhere is mostly because at the time I was writing this, it was just for fun, I wasn’t planning on this being an ongoing, multi-chaptered fic, and I definitely wasn’t planning on posting it. But I did, and then once I began editing and adding things, I just kind of forgot to put some details in because before this, everything was pretty much Karma and Gakushuu and Nagisa—who has yet to show up—centric, there was less substance to things, as well as less character development for the adults because they were barely in it.
> 
> But now I’ve written so much more and I feel like I’ve taken this in a bit of a different direction than where I started. In the future, though, this will get even worse. Hell, some of the new stuff I’ve thought of is even worse than the original, it’ll just take some time to get there. Things between Karma and Gakushuu will stay relatively tame for a while before shit hits the fan.

Gakuhou Asano was always such an intelligent boy… wise beyond his years and mature for his age. The adults always called him a prodigy, oftentimes calling him a little genius and treating him better than the rest of his peers. Even though they still treated him like a child—praising him when he did good or ruffling his hair after a good day's work, et cetera, et cetera—they also kept him on a pedestal. Every week, it seemed, he would surprise them with something new, be it completing a book far above his grade level or mastering a new skill or even learning another language. The kid was amazing! Teachers and parents would always discourage the kids from comparing themselves to him, saying he was just a special case with a gift, and that they were special in their own way. 

With all this praise and compliments coming towards him, Gakuhou couldn’t help but feel a little smug when the other children felt inferior to him due to his superior intellect and talent. It fueled his ego, along with everything else. His parents, his teachers, even strangers were basically telling him that he was better than everyone else; saying he was special, praising his work, calling him a prodigy, giving him preferential and special treatment. Gakuhou ate it all up, reveling in the praise and glory that never seemed to stop filtering in. Clearly he was better than all the other kids; if the adults said it, it had to be true. Right? Maybe they hadn’t said it outright, but it was heavily implied, and he knew it. They loved him. 

Year after year he continued to amaze them. He was good at everything: sports, academics, socializing. Anything he tried, he picked up on it in no time at all. His peers had long since stopped associating with him, which he honestly hadn’t cared about since he had his adult friends. Clearly they were just jealous since he was so much better and smarter than them. Children were so annoying to him. Being a child was never really something he wanted to do; playing was boring, he’d much rather be inside learning or reading, or if he had to be outside, he wanted to practice and perfect his techniques for whichever sport he was playing that season. Other kids his age had always been nothing but a nuisance, so it was wonderful when he stopped having to worry about humoring them with small talk or what have you. 

He never stopped growing. All the attention he got fueled his ego; he loved being seen as a prodigy and being praised so often. It was the best feeling he could ever get. 

The worst feeling he could ever get would come when he was 11. The first time he lost to someone; a professional chess player. His parents assured him it was alright, after all, this was a professional, and an adult no less; there was no reason to be ashamed for losing. But he was. It had been drilled into his head that he was the best, so why had he lost? Why!? Why??? It felt like his head was about to explode; his skin was burning and he wanted to cry; his eye twitched when the man ruffled up his hair and praised him for putting up such a good fight; even the media praised him for it. But he lost. He’d been weak. Why would they praise him when he LOST!? Losing was a such a terrible feeling, and so was the pity he got from his parents and everyone else. No. It wasn’t okay. He couldn’t lose. Not ever again. He had to be better. He had to be the best. He had to be…

Perfect. 

After that he put everything he had into anything he did. He wouldn’t lose ever again, that much he’d make sure of. His whole world revolved around him and what he could do to be the best; how he could perfect everything he did. No one was better than him; he was the best. He would never let anyone belittle or best him ever again. Less than perfect wasn’t good enough. It would never be good enough. He strived for perfection and nothing less. It became an obsession. Despite his parents telling him he was okay and he didn’t have to push himself so hard, he simply brushed them off and continued doing what he was doing. He had to be the best. Loss was too painful to go through again. So he closed himself off from everyone to focus on himself. No one mattered but himself. Weak people were nuisances, annoyances, losers he didn’t need to concern himself with. All that mattered was that he reached his goals and strived for perfection everyday of his life. 

Soon he realized that if he kept acting like he was better than everyone, it would put people off… couldn’t have that, so he bucked up and put on his façade so no one would know how he truly felt. Even if he was better than them in every way, shape, and form, he would pretend to like them. That way he could gain popularity and he wouldn’t be seen as some stuck up brat who saw people as beneath him. As annoying as it was to deal with the masses, he found that he liked the attention they gave him… his so called friends followed him around like sheep and listened to his every beck and call. It was almost as if he were a god to them… that was a wonderful, almost euphoric feeling for him. They were so pathetic, he thought to himself, so weak. How could others be so content with following? Was it because the weak flocked behind the strong, hoping to be protected? Pathetic. 

When Gakuhou was 15, he realized he couldn’t control everything… he couldn’t control most people, or animals, or social situations, or the weather, or how people saw him and his genius. It drove him crazy. He liked being in control. He had to be in control. When he realized it was impossible to control everything, he started controlling every single thing he could: such as his room, it had to be clean and in order all the time, because he could control where certain things went; his shelves were all in alphabetical order, and his closet was color coordinated. He had a schedule for everyday and refused to stray from it: his life was scheduled from the minute he woke up to the time he head hit the pillow; tasks ranging from when he would take a shower or use the restroom, to what he would eat that day, even down to what he would wear. He studied up in psychology as well, learning how to manipulate people into doing what he wanted… he was already very charismatic, all he had to do was use that to his advantage and perfect his technique. Most of this carried over into his adult life, but he became so good at hiding it that no one really knew. 

Around the time he turned 18, he felt the taste of defeat again. From his Master in martial arts. It was just as humiliating as before, if not more so. His skin began to prickle and his eye twitched; hands shaking and mind racing. Losing was unacceptable. He had to be perfect. He had to be the best. Three days. 72-hours of almost nonstop training. It took three days for him to do so; he nearly killed his master. Mostly because he didn’t like being made a fool of, and the man had most certainly done that on purpose. To teach him a lesson or something. Whatever it was, Gakuhou didn’t care… he just knew he had to be better, so he got better and kicked his Master's ass. Showed him that he was strong, stronger than his Master. God, it felt so good to be on top again. People feared him, but they also respected him, which he was more than okay with. So long as they kept him up on his pedestal, he didn’t mind. 

It was around then that he decided he would be a teacher… to raise the next generation. So they would be strong. Weakness had no place in his world. 

Love was not something Gakuhou believed in. To be honest, he didn’t even love his parents after he’d hit a certain age. The only person he cared about was himself… but as he got older, he realized something he never really thought of before. He needed an heir; a mini-him he could mold and shape to perfection; a child he could raise to be the best. That was his new goal, to create a child who would be just like him. Gakuhou only married his wife in order to have a child, not out of love… love was for the weak. Katia was blinded by his charms and sweet lies he filled her head with; he got her to fall in love with his mask. She was unaware of the monster he truly was until it was too late. Once she was pregnant, he began ignoring her aside from checking in on the baby and making sure she was taking care of herself properly. Then the baby was born, and Gakushuu was the name her husband convinced her to go with. When the baby came home, Gakuhou continued ignoring her in favor of their son, who he would often call his precious creation. But he was always quick to hand Gakushuu off when he started crying or needed a diaper change. 

Before Gakushuu, Gakuhou hadn’t realized how much of an annoyance his wife was. Not only was she clingy and bubbly, but clumsy and ditsy. Nothing like him at all… which was irritating. Yes, he’d known of her quirks beforehand, but he’d wanted a good looking wife for his child, one who was easily manipulated and weak-willed; he needed someone he could control. And Katia was the perfect woman to fulfill that role. Only, he hadn’t realized just how difficult marriage would be, especially once they had a child. Come to find out, babies were very stressful. His abusive behavior started around the time Gakushuu turned two. Because of his need for perfection, being around imperfections made him irritable; his wife was far from being perfect like him: she was kind, considerate, clumsy, nurturing. So weak. Yeah, he’d needed someone he could control, he just didn’t think it’d turn out so badly in the end. He never knew how irritating/rage-inducing imperfections could be until he was surrounded by his bumbling idiot of a wife for so many years. It was her who made his hatred for weakness grow. 

 

At first, no, he didn’t hate her; he didn’t love her, but he didn’t hate her, and that was worth noting considering he secretly hated most people. They were beneath him; they were weaker than him. Eventually, though, he grew to hate Katia more than anyone else. She was so annoying; she was so messy; she could barely cook; she always wanted his attention. The only reason kept her around was because divorce was frowned upon and someone had to look after the child while he was at work… not to mention, she helped relieve stress and tension when he needed. Before, she had always been so clingy with him, wanting his attention and to have sex with him whenever they could… but once he started wanting it, and then going back to ignoring her once he’d gotten what he’d wanted, she didn’t like it. Denying him of it resulted in pain, though… because apparently he could do whatever the hell he wanted. And he made her believe it was her fault… that she couldn’t do anything about it. That she owed him since he provided for her physically and fathered their child. 

And she accepted it… she allowed Gakuhou to do what he did because she loved him. He deserved to be loved. He deserved whatever he wanted. Because he was her husband, and they had a child together, and he was the sole provider… because she _loved_ him, she genuinely believed that she deserved everything he’d ever done to her. Even in her last, dying breaths.

 

However, he doesn’t hate his son, and he never has… as much as it seems like he does, in his mind, he believes he’s doing what’s best for him: he thinks he’s giving Gakushuu his best chance at succeeding in life. Because Gakuhou is now very successful and feels content with himself, it’s easier for him to keep his urges/impulses at bay. The man has an extreme superiority complex, thus his need to make the weakest weaker, and the strongest stronger, he’s a narcissist—in the anime/manga he seemed this way as well (to me at least)—and shows traits of OCPD (perfectionism, things needing to be in order, etc.), but that's very mild and he's not clinically diagnosed with it. 

 

His need for power and control is part of the narcissism; he believes he is the best, and if he ever feels threatened, he will attempt to either take it out or better himself so doesn’t need to worry. 

As for the class system, it’s kind of like Gakuhou sees his school as a dollhouse: he controls where the pawns start and provides them with the tools, and then he likes to see how it plays out. Yes, he likes power and control, but now that he’s grown, he knows he can't control absolutely everything, and he’s able to hide the crazy behind a mask. He knows he has to, or else he'll lose everything—he'll lose Gakushuu, the one thing that really keeps him sane. Out in public, most of the time he puts on a big show; he’s very fake and uses his charisma/good looks/respectable authority to his advantage and most people can’t see through the act because he’s perfected it. At home, however, he knows he can control what goes on there, so he does. Luckily for him, he’s able to control himself most of the time, but there are times he loses himself to his rage and/or obsession. 

Gakuhou won't hurt anyone but his son: he knows it's not his place, and finds his own abuse as necessary and completely justifiable because he’s just perfecting his child and making him stronger (sometimes keeping him in his place). While his abuse started as a ‘correction’ thing, he’s become obsessed with it—doing it, how it makes him feel, how pathetic it makes his son look. As Gakushuu has said before, he couldn’t blame his father for being so cruel if it gave him that kind of rush—and it does, because it’s the most physical thing he controls. He begins to get sadistic pleasure from harming his own son because now it's an obsession, he just enjoys to watch someone so strong-willed being humiliated—it's one of the greatest highs he can get. 

Gakushuu had stated that the abuse hadn't been that bad in a while, and that would be because Gakuhou was trying not to let his sadistic side (his narcissism) win; he purely wanted to teach his son a lesson, but then things spiraled out of control. Now that this slightly sadistic nature of his has come into play, it's like he can't find the balance between making his son strong, and making him weak; he hates weakness, but seeing someone so strong reduced to such a pathetic state is pleasing to him. It's almost as if he's at war with himself: he wants Gakushuu to succeed, but at the same time, the narcissist in him doesn’t want his own child to surpass him, so he makes sure to keep him in his place. He enjoys being liked, but he also enjoys being feared by certain people. Again, he likes to be in control when he can help it. 

While he normally wouldn't give a rat’s ass about students’ home life and how their parents treat them, he doesn't see Tadaomi’s abuse as justifiable. He agrees with ‘slightly unethical’ methods to control one’s child, obviously, but from how Karma acts, he can tell that whatever Tadaomi is doing is not really disciplinary, and is far too much—he has a hold over Karma that Gakuhou doesn't like at all. While his own abuse drives Gakushuu away, Tadaomi’s seems to pull Karma in, which he’s not entirely sure what that entails, but he knows he doesn’t like it. Plus, he does see Karma as a potentially very strong, successful person with some tweaks and refinement. And to him, Tadaomi is greatly hindering him from succeeding—like the whole wrist breaking thing and how submissive he’d made the child. So he is genuinely concerned for the child’s well being, which is why he’s usually there for him.

He does pity Karma to some extent, and his care definitely started out as fake, but has grown genuinely attached to him due to how much potential he holds, and how even without discipline, he’s able to match Gakushuu’s level—who worked his ass off and then some to get to that point. Karma’s a natural at most things, and Gakuhou wants to sharpen his abilities and really see just how bright he can shine under the right influence. Also, because unlike Gakushuu, Karma is peculiar in the fact that he knows the man’s true nature, yet doesn’t seem to care and actually speaks to him without restraint on a day to day basis. In a way, Gakuhou is kind of projecting his fatherly urges onto someone who is not his son both because, in his head, he feels all his work would be for naught if his son suddenly started being treated correctly, and because it's clear that the father figure in Karma's life is insufficient and a hindrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From my own experience, abusers can and will treat others’ children better than their own. They can be kind, respectable people outside their homes, while behind closed doors, they’re abusive and twisted. They are very much aware that they can’t be found out, and use their charisma and acting to get by. It'd be difficult to tell their true nature just by looking at some of them. In a way, Gakuhou is kind of like a sociopath… a very mild version of a sociopath. But he’ll get a wake up call soon enough.
> 
> I think that about sums it up. Hopefully that all makes sense. Probably not as well edited as it should be because I’m not sure if this is even relevant or an interesting subject matter to most people and I just need to post this before I change my mind, but here ya go. Next chapter will be up soon~


	13. In the End, We're All the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Gakushuu’s break went. His take on Karma’s first day back, and the week following. And a little bit of Karma’s POV at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the next chapter! Why do I update so late at night? Why am I even up right now? Who knows. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter.

Karma has not been in class for over a week… and I hate to admit this, but I am a bit worried. Father has been a bit on edge as of late, and was very unhappy when he didn't show up after a week. Just this morning I heard him tell our homeroom teacher to send Karma to his office immediately if he showed up; Father had the audacity to look concerned. This is new to me—seeing my father actually care—and it's irritating me to no end. Why? Because this is most likely just a game to Father, but there is also some sincerity in his actions towards that red headed demon child. I've already pointed out his imperfections and weaknesses—many times on multiple occasions—but Father refuses to acknowledge them… or just ignores them, really. He treats that Akabane brat better than he does _me_ , which is not fair.

While on the subject of Akabane, I ran into him over break… he was literally the only good part (I know, I know, have I gone mad?) of my otherwise boring, terrible break. Usually I study, go out on Christmas Eve with my father to keep up appearances that we're actually happy together, deal with abuse, and then study some more. But this time, Akabane kept popping up. Now I know it sounds strange of me saying he was the only good part of break considering what I went through after our fight, but there's a reason. After a few days of sulking and hating him, realization struck me like a freight train. Blaming him for everything was just me using him as a scapegoat; it was the easiest conclusion to make to avoid the truth. But no, I couldn't blame him for the torture I was forced to endure that day; that was all just because Father lost it, and holding it against the demon child was wrong, no matter how easy it was to blame him. It became more obvious throughout the week that Father only reacted so cruelly because of my bad attitude; I chose to act so unsightly, and I paid the price for that. Karma may have been the starting point, but I made things worse by snapping at and disrespecting my father.

Speaking of my punishment, the whole dog thing lasted for a week, but thankfully he didn't physically hurt me after that day. It was just the degrading aspect of being treated like a dog: eating off the floor, wearing nothing but a collar around my neck, having to go around on all fours when I wasn't studying. How humiliating. It was awful. Not to mention I could barely take a shower without bursting into tears and having horrible flashbacks of that day, and my body ached every time I moved. The only person I had to blame was myself; if I hadn't snapped at Father or acted out, I wouldn't have been in pain. Cruel as it was, he was trying to mold me into a strong man and correct my actions. Plus, I started fearing him again, just like he wanted… Then the week was up and we pretended it didn't happen, just like normal.

Enough about that, though; it makes me nauseated just thinking about it. So, the first time I ran into Karma was at the coffee shop with my father on Christmas Eve; my bruises weren't healed, and it was still uncomfortable to move, but I had to live with it. Foundation and concealer were my new best friends at that point considering I had to cover most of my exposed skin with it; thankfully no one ever seems to notice when I use it. Anyway, I saw him from the moment I walked in, and Father wouldn't let me leave to avoid him; apparently avoiding the bastard is a sign of weakness, but really I just hate seeing his obnoxious face, annoyingly bright red hair, and piercing golden eyes. Just looking at him makes my stomach bubble with what I can only assume to be pure rage.

So there we were, minding our own business… okay, I was _kind of_ eavesdropping, but only because Manami seemed to be really nervous and I had to make sure that she wasn't being threatened or pressured into anything. Then come to find out _Akabane_ was the one being pressured. The place wasn’t too entirely noisy, so I could hear her due to our somewhat close proximity. _Look, we've known each other for months now, and I've really had a lot of fun with you. I want to… I just… sorry, I don't normally do things like this._ Being the empty-headed dimwit he is, he didn't really get it and just kind of blinked at her. Then she closed her eyes and pretty much shouted, _I really like you, Karma, so please be my boyfriend! I've never felt like this before and—_

My jaw dropped. That was when he took off, and I saw him coming, but was so shocked that the shyest girl in our class actually liked him and he _ran away_ from her that I couldn't move… not only that, but he looked so, so afraid. Fear completely took over his face and I felt utterly paralyzed by it; it excited me and I had no idea why. So he toppled me over, landed on top of me, pretty much screamed in my ear, and then just kind of went limp as he threw about curses under his breath. And I punched him because that hurt way more than it normally would have considering how sore I was, but then went rigid and forgot all about the pain because I had an erection… I had never had one in public, nor while I was in a rather compromising position, so it just kind of took me off guard. Then I internally panicked because he looked like he was about to burst into tears before running away.

Father helped me up, making sure I was okay before handing me our drinks and telling me to go to the car to wait for him. I did not have to be told twice… walking through the establishment while not only trying to act like I wasn't in pain, but also trying to hide the fact that I had a boner was difficult, but I managed. Getting rid of the thing was easy: thinking of my last punishment. Sad, but true. When Father came back, there was a small amount of blood on his clothing, and I nearly hit him because how dare he physically harm another person's child! Idiot or not, he didn't deserve that… not from my father. Especially after he got onto me for just verbally insulting said idiot. It kind of hurt, thinking that someone with so much strength actually hurt Karma… he's weak, and usually fairly submissive. He may threaten to hurt people, but he has never seriously hurt anyone who hadn't hurt him first—people just find him intimidating for some reason.

There was just no reason to take things that far. When I said so, my father merely smirked and told me that he was restraining Karma from hurting himself and got the blood on his sleeve from that, but I didn't believe him. Of course he just started driving, shutting me up by saying what I feared, _Do not think I did not notice your reaction to that boy you evidently despise being on top of you._ Yep, he effectively shut me up, and I stayed in my room for the rest of the day just so I would not have to face him. Of course he hit me for that, saying it was weak of me to run away, but… how was I supposed to look my father in the eyes knowing he had seen me in such a state? That's embarrassing!

We spent Christmas doing work, and then he gave me pills to deliver to the red headed demon spawn. I was extremely confused as to why and how he even knew he needed them, but he said it was none of my business; all I knew was that Karma had hurt his wrist pretty badly, and my father felt the need to provide him with pills to reduce swelling and pain. In that moment, I found myself wondering if maybe my father felt guilty for hurting him the day before, but my thoughts were cut short when Father told me to hurry up and to tell him if he tried to pay for them to consider them a birthday present.

So I did… but then I realized I had no idea where he lived or what his number was, so I texted Manami, who was more than happy to give both his address and his number to me after what he did to her the night before. Apparently she was so crass with him that she wanted his least favorite person to show up and ruin his birthday… not that I would partake in any such actions. I had a job to do, and quite honestly, he had every right to turn her down. Maybe he should not have ran like that, but she honestly should have known that he wasn't interested—even I could tell and I suck at romance. Besides, he looked terrified… I'm no expert, but he may actually have mental issues.

Texting him wasn't something I thought I'd ever do, but I did it… and he obeyed. Though, the terrified look on his face when he tiptoed out of his house, as if making sure no one could hear him, was a tad bit disconcerting. How could someone be so afraid of the outside world? When he spotted me, he looked fairly confused, so I just walked towards him and handed him the pills. “These are from my father… for your wrist.” When he couldn't meet my eyes, it became clear to me that he must have felt my erection the day before and I panicked—he had dirt on me, very serious dirt that could ruin my life. “Just act like it never happened, and I will do the same.” When I saw the relief in his eyes, it felt like everything would be okay, so I left… and I did mutter 'happy birthday' on my way out. Why? I don't know… it just kind of came out.

Before I left the gate and took my leave, I looked back for no reason in particular, only to find him smiling ever so gently at the bag, and then he met my eyes again before quickly darting back inside, probably so I wouldn't notice the blush on his face. Which I was thankful for because my face felt pretty heated as well… it seemed not just his fear got me excited, but the genuine side of him as well. No matter, it is just mere infatuation and it will go nowhere. All I had to do was avoid him… so I thought. But then he texted me on New Year's Eve, and I was currently hiding in one of the guest rooms at the party my father forced me to attend with him. Keeping up appearances is, and always will be, exhausting.

**Karma**  
Gakushuu… how did you get my number?

**Gakushuu**  
Manami.

**Karma**  
Figures… 

**Gakushuu**  
She was more than happy to give it to me, just so you know. Talk about petty. And here I thought she was your friend. 

**Karma**  
Eh, you've got a point. But she was upset so it's okay.  
I'm bored… you should entertain me.

**Gakushuu**  
Lucky for you, I am bored too. I'll entertain you by replying… maybe.  
Anything weird and I'll block you.

**Karma**  
Fine, fine. I'm working on my Russian. Do you speak Russian?

**Gakushuu**  
No. I am fluent in English, French, Japanese, Korean, and Portuguese. 

**Karma**  
You would know all those fucking languages and not the one your damn dad put me in!  
God, I hate this. Learn it. Suffer with me.

**Gakushuu**  
Mind your language.

And then he started texting me in Russian… it was really getting on my nerves, so I found my dad and told him to translate for me, and he laughed saying that Karma was calling me a whole bunch of names; saying I was an idiot and that I needed to stop being an egotistical asshole, and that he would crush me at finals. I told him he was an idiot and the he needed to leave me alone… then at like two in the morning he bugged me about being better than me because he was older—by only a week, mind you—hotter and smarter, so I blocked him. God, I despise him… yet I couldn't help but smile, thanks to him I had some fun that night, and I decided to learn Russian so I could give him a proper reply after finals.

Now here we are, I haven't seen him in weeks, and I'm anxious… where the heck is he? Why do I care? I don't know, but I do… despite how angry he makes me, I just need to know he's not dead or hurt. Father seems to think he's real competition for me, and I want to prove him wrong… I want to prove to him that I'm far superior to that demon, and I can't do that if he's not here! Bright red flashes in my vision and my stomach flutters for some weird reason; there that bastard is! Our eyes meet for a split second before he cowers down and rushes back to his seat; what was that about? And why did he smell weird? Most importantly, why are his movements so rigid? Like, it seems like every step he takes is painful and makes him ache.

Before I can even think to text him to see if he's okay, it is my job as class rep and I'd hate to have to carry him to the infirmary should he pass out, Mr. Shion tells him to go up to my father's office immediately. Of course he looks angry, but he does so without question, begrudgingly dragging himself out of the room and seemingly hating his life even more with every single step he takes. I would have escorted him, but I'd rather not have another awkward situation; who knows if my body will react in such a despicable way again?

Shaking my head of all perverse thoughts, I focus on my homework and try to keep him and his sharp golden eyes out of my mind. My stomach does that weird thing again and it's confusing; what is this? Am I sick? Pushing it to the back of my mind, I refocus myself and go back to the task at hand. Class finally starts and I find myself glancing back… Akabane still isn't there. What on earth is my father doing to him?! Surely he wouldn't… he _couldn't_ … no, he would never stoop so low as to hurt someone else's child, especially at school, of all places. He doesn't even harm _me_ here. Still… I can't help but be concerned after what happened at the coffee shop.

The door opens and relief washes over me, expecting to see red, but am greeted with my father instead; Father, what did you do to him? He simply walks past our teacher, telling him to carry on with his lesson, before leaving a note on the desk. “Is Mr. Akabane not returning?”

“Unfortunately no, he has been sick and nearly collapsed in my office, so I will be keeping an eye on him for the remainder of the day.” No, he should go to the infirmary you liar! Why are they spending so much time together…? Is Father… is he honestly hurting him? Is that why Karma looked like he was in so much pain? Because Father got ahold of him at some point and completely thrashed him? If so, that's not right… like at all. He can hurt and correct me all he wants, but I draw the line at other teenagers. It just isn't okay, and he could get in a lot of trouble. No one but me can handle what he dishes out, especially not Karma.

The moment his eyes meet mine, I scowl and he just smiles emptily at me before taking his leave. I will find out what's going on, and I will make him pay if he's hurting Karma.

xx.

For the next week, Karma comes to school, but not to class. Some days he's in the infirmary, and others he stays in my father's office… they have this weird relationship and I despise it. His body seems to be healing because when I do see him walking around, he seems to be walking better, so…? Maybe he really does harm himself and my father has been making sure he stops. But that's the counselor's job… why is he treating this boy with so much kindness? That is what's going on, correct? Does he really pity a weakling so much that he favors him over all else? No, it doesn't even seem like pity anymore. This makes no sense to me at all.

My entire life has been _hell_ because of that man, and here he is treating some random, immature, ignorant, idiotic delinquent like he's God's precious gift to earth! I have earned my father's respect to some extent, but all that damn kid does is do everything my father has told me not to do, and has even beat me for doing: curse, not study, not care, skip class, fight, be rude, mouth off, have a crappy personality, show weakness, and be the farthest thing from perfection. Yet Father likes him. His care and concern is genuine, and this is no longer a game to him. It. Makes. No. God. Damn. Sense.

Remember when Akabane said the only thing I had going for me was my scores and looks? Well _all_ he has going for him is his looks. That bastard is nothing more than a pathetic weakling, probably just trying to get under my skin by getting close to my dad. This isn't my father's mind game, this is the demon's. That devil is trying to get the upper hand by metaphorically 'sucking my father's dick', like he said I did all those weeks ago. From looking at him, you wouldn't guess he was a suck up, but you can't judge a book, huh? No matter, my father doesn't believe he's a threat to me, he believes he's a contender to challenge me and my intelligence; there's a difference.

I will crush that bastard at finals… he _will_ know his place. And it will not be pretty. Not only will he see, but my father will as well… maybe then I will finally be given the respect I deserve. From both of them.

xx. Karma

It feels like Gakushuu is mad at me… like, he's watching me, but he's super duper pissed off every time I meet his eyes. Is it because I'm spending so much time with his dad? I mean, my daddy is extremely pissed off that I've been getting so close to him, so lately I've just been… withholding the truth? Like, he doesn't know that I stay in his office most days, and he doesn't know that he's onto me about my homelife. Those are just things he shouldn't know, because if he does find out, I will likely be taken out of school. Gakuhou has no ill intentions concerning my body; my brain is a whole different story. Apparently finals will be a sort of battle for Gakushuu and me; which means everyone else's scores will most likely go down, all for two rivals who plan to crush each other and prove themselves. Kind of ridiculous if you ask me, but that's just how Gakuhou is, I guess. Manami and I will have to study more… which will be very difficult because now Daddy really doesn't trust her alone with me.

Lying has never been something I was able to do, but now…? It's been happening more often and it is honestly kind of scary; if he finds out, I'm fucked, in both senses of the word. So I just need to keep my head and play it cool; he won't know if I don't make it blatantly obvious.

Since Gakushuu seems mad at me, I want nothing more than to steer clear of him; I can't handle another one of his emotional beatings, and I already know I can't hurt him… just the thought makes me want to throw up. Hurting someone like him… I don't know, it just really freaks me out. Honestly, it scares me more to hurt him than his father, which really is a bit strange if you think about it because his father is abusive… It doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it's awful; so awful that I almost feel inclined to help him.

We're actually a lot alike—me and Gakushuu. The two of us are fake: we put on fake smiles, we cover our flaws with makeup, we wear masks to hide how sad and lonely we actually are, we pretend like everything is perfect, when inside, all we want to do is break down and curl up. Okay, I can't really speak for him on that last one, but he does seem like the type to want to do that… only, his pride would get in the way and he wouldn't show weakness. Asano's are just like that; they don't show weakness… ever. Still, our whole perfect life façade… no one sees through it, and they never will because deep down, we love our abusers more than anything else. Daddy and Gakuhou are different in their methods, and us two are impacted differently, but in the end, we're all the same.

Our dads are abusive, and both of us will deal with it for as long as we have to while pretending to be happy. Love does that to people… even though it's wrong, we've accepted our fates, and for now, we don't want them to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be fun. Also a little bit depressing? New, not so fun tags will be added. Finals and their moments leading up to them. May split it into two, not sure on how many words there are. 
> 
> Should be up in a few days or so. Maybe? Not sure. I can say with the utmost confidence it will not be almost a year. Most likely.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes~


	14. Finals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finals and the moments leading up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it wasn’t as long as I thought, so it’s all one chapter. Karma is easier for me to write for, thus explaining why his section is so much longer. When reading this, do remember that Karma is his mother's son. 
> 
> New tags were added, if any of those are triggers for you, please read with caution. The self harm is not explicit, but it’s there. 
> 
> Anyway. Here's some sad shit for your Valentine's Day. Hope you enjoy it.

**Gakushuu**

Finals are here… I have not spoken to the devil once since he arrived back at school, and he's distanced himself from both me and my father since about the middle of February after he had to miss another week of school. This time, he didn't spend the next week with Father at all, and he actually seemed pretty concerned about that. Rather, Karma stuck it out in class, pushed through gym, and still managed to keep a carefree smirk on his face. Even though he was clearly sick and exhausted, he just kept pushing. 

He hangs out with Manami still, even though he turned her down, and now they've started hanging out with some lower level students that I don't know the names of. Okay, I know one, and that's Yuuma Isogai—the class rep of C-class. He isn't exactly an idiot, but he has to work a lot, so his grades often fall due to that; he's a scholarship student, and I really don't know why it hasn't been taken away from him. Father really is a strange man… apparently even a little potential is enough for him to show some pity.

Anyway, I frequently see them gathered in the library to study, and Karma is usually there to prompt them and answer their academic related questions for no more than ten minutes before he leaves. They talk about him when he's gone… it's not really bad, usually just that they're worried about his health because ever since he stopped associating with me and my father, he has been acting rather weird: leaving early, coming to school looking sick and exhausted, he's disheveled, and he's gotten a lot less cocky. Honestly, it was like he was a completely different person. 

Eye contact with anyone aside from Manami was very, very rare for him. Was I worried? A little. I wanted to crush him at his best and nothing less. A victory over someone who is mentally drained and exhausted isn't something worth celebrating. Am I worried now? No. The last few weeks before today, the fire had been ignited in him once more due to a conversation he had with my father. After he just up and ran out of class, I went after him, which ended up with me outside of Father's office. No, I wasn't worried about Karma, my curiosity just got the better of me, is all! There was just a lot of sobbing before I finally heard my father's voice. 

_I was wrong, Mr. Akabane. Mr. Asano was correct in saying you were nothing more than a weak, pathetic, little brat who has no business being in this school. Everything he said to you was spot on. Your last test scores were absolutely pathetic, and I am sick of seeing you allow yourself to be torn to shreds. Honestly, how weak can you be you insufferable little pissant!? I spend so much time on you and you pull this stunt!? You remind me of a woman I hated very, very much looking at me with such a pathetic face! Dropping out is not an option, so do not even think about it. You are going to finish what you started. If you score any less than top 5, you are out of this school. **Do I make myself clear, Mr. Akabane?**_

I was in shock… so much so that I didn't hear his reply, but I was so incredibly happy to see Akabane storm out in tears. It was so exciting to see such a look on his face… it caused another erection, but I couldn't be bothered to care. His emotional pain and suffering brought me joy, and I had long since accepted that. Of course I knew my father just said that to spark his fight, because the moment I walked in, his eyes were downcast and he was slumped down on his desk—like he was the one who just got scolded and talked down to. The broken chair was the next thing I noticed; needless to say I was confused and looked to him for and answer. But as soon as he met my eyes, he hardened and sat down at his desk… ignoring me. Yeah, he felt the need to motivate both of us by hitting us where it hurt. Those last few weeks before final exams, Father continued ignoring me, making snide comments to both me and Karma when he was near, and treated us to his empty smiles and fake attitude that I absolutely cannot stand.

Now it's time to begin, and I'm so glad we're fighting at our best. I don't think I've ever been this excited for an exam. Crushing Akabane will be easy. No matter what Father thinks he has to stump me, he won't. I've been pushing myself to and past my limits this preparing for this, and I will not lose. I will prove myself to him. And I will put Karma Akabane in the damn ground.

**Karma**

Finals… boy was it a fucking ride getting to this point.

Daddy found out I was hanging out with Manami because she gave me chocolates on Valentine's Day after school and I forgot to throw them away. So then he decided to look through my text history because he felt he could no longer trust me at all, and to say he was pissed would be a huge understatement. No, he was absolutely enraged. Hiroto flirts with me teasingly over text, so of course he was furious about that, Manami of course he just hates, and Yuuma he wasn't a fan of because he 'definitely had a crush on me' just because he asked to me to help him study so often. Apparently they were all luring me to the library to seduce me. Which wasn't true at all, but there was no getting through to Daddy when he was in a rage. Then he found out I had been around Gakuhou on a near daily basis because I was already fucked, so I just told him.

Rather than love, I got an immense amount of pain and suffering on Valentine's Day. Didn't matter what I did or what I said, didn't matter how hard I fought or how much I thrashed and screamed and fought, he wouldn't let up… by the end of the day, I could hardly move, my throat was raw, and my voice was pretty much gone. He kept telling me that I was a bad boy for lying to him and keeping things from him. But if I had told him, he would have made me stop, and I _wanted_ my friends! I like them and I didn't want to get rid of them when they were no threat to him or anything else! _Friends_ doesn't mean _love interest_ , and I wish Daddy fucking understood that! I hate how controlling he is! I hate it!!!

I love him… but I hate how he treats me sometimes. There were days I wanted nothing more than to call Gakuhou and tell him to take me away and let me live with him or literally anywhere else because after that day, Daddy forbid me from seeing my friends, he beat the shit out of me anytime I came home late, smelled off, or sent/received a text to/from anyone aside from him, and he was drinking excessively again. After a while, he completely shattered my will to keep fighting. I no longer cared about school or tests or finals… I no longer cared to prove myself to the Asano's… I just wanted to make it through the fucking day without worrying if it'd be my last. So I started avoiding everyone, Gakuhou included. My friends were worried, my teachers were worried, Gakuhou was worried, and hell, even Gakushuu seemed a bit worried about me.

But I didn't care… I wanted Daddy to love me, and to stop hurting me so often, so I had no choice but to submit to him and obey his every command. Soon Gakuhou gave up… and he didn't even care when I called in sick because I was injured to the point I could barely move, or just because Daddy refused to let me leave the house. Everyone seemed to give up on me, and Daddy forced me so far into submission and darkness that life became very monochromatic for me; everything fucking sucked and I was just going through the motions. There was no way out, and it felt like life was spiraling out of control.

I put up with everything Daddy did because I knew he just wanted me to himself. He's possessive and needs me, so I couldn't deny him. The beatings hurt, both physical and mental ones, but nothing was worse than the sex… blood is awful lubricant, and that was literally all I had for an entire month. Either he would cut me and use my blood, or he would fuck me raw and rough until I bled, and then let that slick things up. It was miserable, and I cried… a lot. He didn't care, though… he never once stopped, and he never once asked if I was okay afterwards. He simply told me to reflect on what a bad boy I was and to improve my attitude and loyalty to him or life would get a lot worse for me before tossing me aside like a doll.

And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop him. It was hopeless… I was helpless. He didn't care about what I had to say, so soon I just stopped talking; when I squirmed or tried to get away, he would just tie me up so I couldn't; when I screamed or cried too loudly or too much, he started gagging me. Everything I tried in order to make him stop only resulted in more pain, so I sat back and took it, if only to make things a little bit easier on myself. It was horrible. With no other option, I just let him have his way with me; no sense in putting up a fight when I had no chance. Sometimes, as I laid there in bed with him, eyes glassy and body numb, I really did feel like nothing more than a lifeless doll… just a toy for him to use. Nothing felt worse than when he looked at me so tenderly, yet there was something twisted behind his eyes… something dark, and he would tuck my hair back behind my ear and whisper, 'This is all your fault. If you would just listen to me and be a good boy, this wouldn't be happening.'

It was all my fault. I was bad, and I deserved it. 

There were so many nights where I sobbed myself to sleep and prayed that I wouldn't wake up… that I would just stay in the depths of darkness and disappear. Death had never sounded so appealing before, and I was seriously considering suicide. 

Daddy threatened to do me what he did to Mommy all those years ago… and I felt so terrified of him becoming a monster that I had no choice but to listen. Things became tense at home… every second we were alone together, I felt afraid for my life, but I took the abuse because I knew I had to. Making Daddy angry was, and always will be, a mistake on my part. Why does love have to hurt? Even when I passed out and woke up naked, covered in blood, bruises, cuts, raw skin, wounds, and alcohol all alone on the floor… I couldn't make myself hate him. Mommy managed to, but I can't. No matter how many times I tell myself that I shouldn't have to put up with this, I do it anyway. No matter how many times I tell myself that I should hate Daddy for everything he's put me through, I can't! I just fucking can't!!

_You love Daddy no matter what, Karma._

_The pain is worth it._

_You deserve it. You were bad! Daddy loves you and **you're** making him hurt you!_

_You bad, bad boy! You stupid fucking brat! Why would you make me hurt you!!_

_Start being a good fucking boy before I cage you up and never let you go!_

**That's better, Karma. Good boy. Take it like a good boy.**

_**You know I love you, Karma. Right? This is all for you. To show my love for you. To show I care about you. To protect you.** _

I love Daddy. And Daddy loves me.

I love you; I live for you; I need you; I can't live without you. Everything is for Daddy. Nobody matters but Daddy. Daddy is the only person who matters to me. Daddy is the only person who cares. Daddy is the only person who will ever love me. That's why he hurts me and makes love to me, even though it hurts so bad that I cry and bleed and scream and I hate every agonizing minute of it.

The pain is worth it. The pain will always be worth Daddy's love.

_**Always.** _

Going to school, I was afraid… I felt like everyone was watching me and that Daddy would find out if I did even the tiniest little thing wrong. I spoke as few words as possible to my friends, and just barely stayed after school with them when they needed help, but left no matter what when I knew I had to. They weren't worth the pain… not anymore. It had gotten to the point where I honestly considered dropping out because one wrong move and I would wind up unable to pick myself up off the floor in the middle of the night, sobbing quietly to myself as I dragged myself to the bathroom to tend to my injuries. What was the point of going anymore? It was just an unneeded stressor; even if it did give me a break from Daddy, it took so much work and effort just to get myself out of bed and actually go. 

One night, I felt I couldn't take it any longer… finals were just around the corner and I constantly felt like death; I didn't think I could take it anymore. I was at an extremely low point in my life, and I was done… all I wanted to do was disappear. After Daddy went to sleep, I snuck out to get some air. Try to clear my head because suicide seemed like my only feasible option. As I was walking, trying to think of the way to end it all, I ran into some kids from school—the E-class people, Rio's gang. Since my hood was up and shadowing my face, they didn't recognize me at first, but Rio figured it out soon enough. At that point I didn't really care, so when Rio pulled me off to the side and acted all worried because I had clearly been crying… I let her talk to me. No sense in thinking of the consequences of disobeying when I was planning on offing myself the next day.

We drifted away from everyone, she offered me a cigarette and I decided to say fuck it and smoked a bit… just to know what it was like before I'd ended it all. Honestly? It was awful; she laughed when I started choking, saying that maybe I wasn't such a delinquent after all. We talked a bit about nothing important, but it relaxed me to an extent, and soon I found myself asking her if I could stay with her, just for that night. She had this smug look on her face and a glint in her eyes as she asked if I'd ever been with a woman before, and well… I was vulnerable. I saw what I wanted, and wanted to take it. For the first time, I wanted to be the man in bed; I wanted to make her scream my name. To pleasure her beyond comprehension. Just to know what it felt like being on the other side. At that point, nothing else mattered; I didn't care. So I kissed her without a second thought. 

Being so emotionally unstable, I didn't think about my actions, I just went with the flow. Her parents were out of town… so she took me inside and well… I fucked a girl for the first time in my life. Honestly, it was amazing. It felt way different than normal. I'd never felt a sensation like that in my life, and I have no idea how many times we had sex. Too many. By the time we were done, we were both exhausted, but sated, and I told her it was just a one time thing… that we would go back to normal in the morning. And Rio… she just smiled at me, saying she knew how it worked and that as long as she helped make me feel better that she'd accomplished her mission. Yeah… turns out Rio wasn't as bad as I thought, and I felt a little proud to have been with her. 

The next morning, I felt guilty. Disgusting. I'd just used a girl to fulfill my own selfish desires and I wanted to throw up. It was like five in the morning when I left her house, and sprinted all the way home. The second I dropped in through my window, I went straight to my bathroom and showered; I felt so disgusting. I felt like a monster. Using people is an awful thing to do. How could I stoop so low? Bile rose to my throat and my head was spinning; vomit covered my shower floor… that wasn't enough, though. That wasn't enough to make up for what I'd done. I needed to suffer and pay for my horrible actions, so I popped the blade out of my razor and sliced up my arm while mentally degrading myself: cheater, user, disgusting, whore, good for nothing, absolutely fucking worthless. 

Daddy was right… I was a whore, just like Mommy. That fucked me up… knowing how terrible of a person I was. Blood dripped down my arm and I couldn't give less of a fuck. This was what I deserved for being such a piece of shit. Once I was finished and all cleaned up, I decided I really was worthless and wrote my suicide note. After that day, Karma Akabane wouldn't exist. Another insignificant speck of dust would be wiped off the face of the earth and no one would give a shit. As tempting as it was to end it right then and there, it wasn't the time nor the place. Subjecting Daddy to my dead body was not something he deserved, and I had to say goodbye to the one person who at least tried to help me. 

So I went to school, but I was feeling especially shitty and everyone could tell. Manami asked me so many questions and Rio kept texting me and it felt like everyone was looking at me; like they knew the awful, horrible thing I'd done and were silently judging me. It freaked me the fuck out. I couldn't handle it. During math, I bolted without warning; it was too much. I ran up to Gakuhou's office and just bawled. He let me stay, but wouldn't speak to me. In the end, I told him I was dropping out (obviously I couldn't tell him I was killing myself and that was the best way to tell him he wouldn't see me again), and he finally spoke his mind. I finally heard his true thoughts. He said every single thing his son said to me was correct; that I had no business being at his school because I was weak and worthless; just like a certain pathetic woman that he hated. Upon hearing this, my sadness and depression washed away and all that was left was rage. He'd made me so fucking angry that I legitimately threw the chair I had been sitting in at him, told him I hated him, and stormed out in tears. Someone I thought would just let me cry and not say anything to my face… completely ripped me to shreds without even touching me.

At first I was furious, wallowing in my own misery and depression in the backseat of my car just screaming and punching shit. But soon I decided that I was done feeling sorry for myself; I wasn't giving up and taking that way out. Life might have been a big ball of shit, but I wasn't done with it yet. Gakuhou's words lit the flame in me once more and I felt driven for the first time in months. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I stopped letting Daddy's abuse get to me, and I worked my goddamn fucking ass off to prove to Gakuhou that I _was_ and always would be worthy to be at his school. That I deserved respect! That I wasn't fucking weak or worthless or a waste of space! That I wasn't like his wife… I knew it was her he was talking about. It had to be. That seemed like the kind of man he would be, hating his wife while torturing both her and his son; it made total sense to me.

After arriving at home, I went straight to my room and opened my books. I looked over my previous tests and homework, corrected the careless mistakes, and retaught myself everything I felt I needed to know and more. Those motherfucking Asano's were going to eat their fucking words. I was going to make damn sure of that. Over the next few weeks, I hardened myself; once again, I put on my act and showed those damn Asano's that I was a force to be reckoned with and that I wasn't going down without one fucking hell of a fight.

Those violet colored eyes seemed to look at me in surprise, and then 'challenge accepted' when I shot him a deadly smirk. Gakuhou… he was still pissed, treating me coldly and muttering insults to me. But I didn't give a flying fuck. I was going to prove him wrong. 

Fuck, I AM going to prove him wrong. Right here, right now. These damn Asano's are going to regret ever having angered me. And they're going to acknowledge me as an equal whether they fucking like it or not.

“You may begin.”

This is beginning of an end. The Asano's are going down, and I'm coming out on top.

Look out Gakushuu, you're going down first.  
Perfection is key. And I won't give up. Just gotta keep my head level and calm, and I'll be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t kill me. Karma and Rio aren’t serious and they never will be. But Karma is his mother’s son, he knows what she did and what she went through, and he will probably have the same unhealthy coping mechanisms as her. 
> 
> The next chapter should be up within the week. As always, I apologzie for any mistakes; thank you for leaving kudos or comments, and thank you especially for reading. I appreciate it.


	15. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Gakushuu finally speak and Gakuhou loses it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I can't sleep, I decided to post another chapter. Got caught up watching Monk and now it’s like super late/early but for some reason cannot sleep. Oh well. 
> 
> Y'know, this thing wasn’t supposed to be this long. But when I get motivated, I write a lot and this happens. I probably have over 75,000 more words of this written... it really got away from me. Oopsie. This is why I typically don’t post shit, because I write too much. Hopefully you don’t get bored of it.
> 
> Also, I would like to apologize for not responding to comments. I’ve tried, but because I’m an extremely socially anxious person it’s quite difficult for me. Then the longer I wait, the worse it gets. Oops. Just know that I do read them, and appreciate them.
> 
> Anyway, here’s this. It’s longer than the last few have been. Hope you enjoy it.

**Final Exam Scores**  
Karma Akabane 600  
Gakushuu Asano 597  
Manami Okuda 569  
Ren Sakakibara 565

Gakuhou was pissed. He was beyond pissed. Furious. Enraged. Good for Karma and all, but Gakushuu Asano scored less than perfect. He didn't tie for first, nor take first, he took second. Second was the first loser. Asano's were _not_ fucking losers! It'd been so long since Gakushuu had actually failed at something that he almost forgot this feeling of rage… failure was not tolerated and his control over his anger was dwindling down faster than ever before. Unraveling at the seams and ripping away at the man's sanity; his composure was gone, and his emotions were spiraling out of control. The rational side of him knew he could jeopardize things by losing it, but his rage clouded over every bit of rationality in his brain at that moment.

Before he could even begin to try to collect himself and regain his composure, his feet were moving on their own towards class 2-A. _Imperfection. Imperfection. Must correct the imperfection._ The door opened with a loud bang and the students nearly jumped out of their seats, confused to see their chairman in the doorway looking so… angry. The second those violet orbs met the enraged, dark eyes of his father, he cowered down; it was embarrassing, but at that moment he didn't know any better. His father was angry, and that meant to submit because he deserved this. Imperfections were unacceptable.

Karma knew that look, and he abruptly stood up to prevent what was to come… but he wasn't quick enough to even try to stop Gakuhou. Nothing stopped him. He backhanded his son so hard across the face that he flew across the room, hitting the wall with a thud and a groan. Everyone froze in terror, eyes on the Asano duo. That was when Gakushuu remembered where they were and urged his father to stop with his eyes, but those empty orbs were dead set on correcting his pathetic excuse for a son. No one knew what the fuck to do, the majority of them were paralyzed with fear. Was this the type of person their Chairman really was?

“ _Get out_.” Everyone but Karma took that tone very seriously and quickly scurried out, leaving their classmate to fend for himself.

Stalking towards his son to finish the job he started, Gakuhou saw red; rage clouded his mind and judgment. Gakushuu didn't know what to do, so he covered himself—he was pissed about getting second, too, but he wished his father would have at least waited until they were at home—awaiting the blow. But a blow never came. More accurately, one did come, but Karma took it for him. There he was, hovering over Gakushuu like a protective shield and holding him in his arms, taking blow after blow. Warmth flooded Gakushuu's body, and the arms wrapped around him felt surprisingly firm, like they belonged there. He stared in horror, unable to do anything but watch; those golden eyes teared up with every agonizingly painful strike and his grunts got louder as his body jolted forward with each blow… but Karma didn't once let go or try to defend himself. When he noticed Gakushuu staring at him so fearfully, he made him hide his face, burrowing it in his neck until it was over. Karma protected Gakushuu until the very end, when a teacher came in and managed to restrain the man.

Once the beating stopped, Karma relaxed slightly while Gakushuu jerked away, violet eyes shining bright with anger and confusion. “Why would you…!?” Gakushuu started but was cut off by someone else.

“Gakushuu!” Ren ran to him, bypassing Karma and panicking over his friend, but was almost viciously shoved away by a seething Karma.

“Shut up!” He cried, his back ached from the pain, but that wasn't why he was so upset. He didn't care about the pain—he was used to that—but he wanted everyone to shut the fuck up and go away so he could finally say the words he oh so desperately had been waiting to say to Gakushuu. Protecting him like that wasn't his plan, but he couldn't stand to see someone else get hurt. Not when there was absolutely no damn good reason for it. He hated abuse. “Just get the fuck out, and Gakushuu, you stay put.”

Gakushuu couldn't help but nod, shooing Ren away—who obeyed without question—and allowing Karma to stay latched onto him, taking deep breaths until he was finally mentally prepared to speak. As awkward as it was, Gakushuu rubbed soothing circles on Karma's shoulder and just kind of held him; it was the least he could do after what just happened to him. In the corner, Gakuhou was currently talking in hushed tones to the teacher and Gakushuu was terrified: what was going to happen to his father now?? Would he go to jail? Or would he get out of it? As much as he hated his father, he didn't want him to go down like that… that was way too easy. He had to do it himself. Not to mention he'd probably be put into foster care… that could definitely not happen.

When they were suddenly the only two in the room, Karma pulled away from him and looked into his eyes up close for the first time in over five months, smirking with amusement, seemingly unaffected by the beating he'd just received. Of course he was in pain, a fuck ton of it, but he knew how to conceal his pain and fear rather well by this point in his life. “Am I worth talking to now? Am I all talk now? Do I belong now? Or do you still see me as a pathetic, worthless, weak lowlife; nothing more than an insignificant waste of space?” When he all he got in reply was shocked silence, he nearly broke. “Don't tell me after all this I still didn't prove myself!”

Despite his smirk, Gakushuu could see the genuine hurt and worry in those golden hues flecked with so many different shades of amber and red… wow, his eyes were super pretty up close. If he was being honest, seeing him look so hurt over potentially not proving himself actually made him feel really bad for saying all those awful things to him back then. Clearly Karma wasn't all talk, it wasn't a fluke and he wasn't cheating; Karma was genuinely intelligent and had every right to be cocky, and he definitely deserved to be in the same school and class as Gakushuu. “Prostite. Ya byl neverno, pozhaluysta, prosti menya.” (Sorry. I was wrong, please, forgive me).

“Aww,” Karma grinned, pinching one of the other teen's cheek, flustering him quite a bit. “You learned Russian just for me?” The other nodded, not telling him that he had planned on saying so much worse things to him in it if he'd lost, but Karma wouldn't have given a shit. “So… friends…?”

Rolling his eyes and trying to hide his smile, Gakushuu nodded. “You have proved yourself more than enough…” His first genuine friend; one he didn't plan on losing, either. “I was out of line at that time, and I really am sorry.” Karma shrugged indifferently, regretting it because it made him wince. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, don't worry about it.” Karma waved him off, trying to get up, but was promptly attacked by Gakushuu and forced onto his belly so he could take a look at his back. “No! No, stop! Gakushuu, please!” He'd see the marks! He couldn't know! No one was allowed to see! Squirming through the pain, he managed to get away by kicking the other boy, panting heavily as he crawled away from the angered Asano that was now trying to think of ways to see just what his father had done to the poor boy. “I'm fine, please just… believe me, okay?”

This just made him worry even more… what was he hiding? Deciding he would get to the bottom of it another day, he held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, I won't touch you.”

Since Gakushuu had given up, Karma came to a stop and plopped down onto his ass about halfway across the room. “You can touch me, just don't try to undress me ya fuckin' weirdo,” he grinned mischievously, trying to hide just how much pain he was actually in after all that moving around. Violet eyes rolled, annoyed, but also amused. Really speaking to Karma in a normal setting like this, he could kind of see why his father would take a liking to him; he says what he wants and was actually pretty approachable if you gave him a chance. “Your lip is bleeding,” Karma frowned slightly. 

Reaching up, his pale, slender finger swiped across his swollen lip, staining the tip blood red. Not only was he bleeding, but his cheek was incredibly sore, too. If Karma hadn't gotten involved with Gakuhou when he did, who knows what he would have done to his son's face… “You shouldn't have got in the way like that.” Seeing Karma put himself in harm's way like that actually hurt him a lot more than it should have… after everything he'd done to Karma, why would he protect him? He felt guilty for allowing such a thing to happen. Why was he feeling this way towards someone he despised just yesterday?

But Karma smiled, waving him off. “No, it's fine. I didn't want you to get hurt. I'm used to pain, being a delinquent and all~” he teased. As much as he hated to lie like that, that was his go to excuse if anyone ever saw his battered body, which Gakushuu nearly had. “Hell, I've been hit with a lead pipe before, so that was nothing!” Nothing didn't even begin to describe it; those punches hurt like a bitch since his back had still been recovering from his last whipping. Even if he hadn't been healing, it would have hurt because that man could hit hard as fuck; how did Gakushuu manage to put up with such abuse? Then again, he could ask himself the same question… how did _he_ put up with what his own father had been doing to him? Because he thought it was in his best interest… Gakushuu must have felt the same. “Do you—”

“Mr. Asano, Mr. Akabane. Can we see you both in the Chairman's office?” Reluctantly, the two of them got to their feet, grabbing their bags before following their math teacher throughout the school and towards the Chairman's office, both anxious about what was to come.

**Gakushuu**  
I need you to lie.

**Karma**  
On it.

Gakushuu quickly looked over at the redhead, perplexed as to why he would so easily lie for his previous rival and the man who'd just hit him so aggressively, but Karma merely walked forward, hand in his pocket and eyes ahead, a lazy smile on his face. How was he so damn calm? Just who was Karma Akabane?

If Karma was being honest, he wanted to tell the truth; he wanted Gakuhou to get in trouble and have his ass thrown in jail or something. But he didn't want to force Gakushuu to lose another parent. As awful as he probably was as a parent, losing him would be hard on his son and Karma knew that; he'd lost both of his and the only family he had left wasn't blood-related and tried to kill him on a near daily basis. And despite all the abuse, Karma wouldn't want to lose Tadaomi. So he would lie for them… besides, that's what friends were for, right?

**Gakushuu**  
Okay, um… just say he didn't hurt you, I guess?

**Karma**  
Mkay

Why was he so agreeable without any explanation whatsoever!? He didn't seem that way in the slightest, yet here he was going along with whatever Gakushuu said. It was… very empowering, to say the least, having someone like Karma listen to him without question. The second they walked through the doors, they were greeted by two teachers and a cool as ever Gakuhou Asano, but they could see past that; he was panicking. Teachers and students just witnessed him backhand his own son across the face, and then kicked them all out before repeatedly punching another student.

Karma spoke before any of them, a lazy smirk played on his lips. “What's all this about? Nothing even happened.”

“Students said—”

“Their word against ours,” he shrugged matter-of-factly, confusing the teachers. Why was this kid sticking up for him after what he'd done? “I mean yes, you can clearly see Gakushuu's lip is bleeding, I'm not denying that he smacked him, but… after how cocky he was, only to fall to second place, even I think he deserved that.” Gakushuu flicked his eyes over to Karma in irritation; how dare he say that! But Karma knew what he was doing; a backhand to the face of his own child was nothing. “It was one smack, big whoop. Nothing else happened, I assure you.”

The teacher who stopped Gakuhou piped up there, “I very clearly saw him—”

“His back was to you, and his body was blocking your view of me; obviously he was just trying to separate us so he could check on his son, but I didn't want to let him go.” Those golden eyes narrowed slightly at Gakuhou, smiling a bit, “You'd _never_ hurt your son so brutally, right Dr. Asano?”

“Correct,” he spoke firmly, not showing any signs of lying. “I may have taken it a bit too far with the smack, and I apologize, Gakushuu… but I was just a bit frustrated with the results. Nothing else happened.”

With those three, the teachers knew it was a lost cause… but that didn't stop them from reporting it to the police. That didn't worry any of them, though; they could lie their way out of it. Not only were they all extremely intelligent, but could be quite cunning as well; even Karma, who had been sharpening his lying blade ever since Gakuhou caught onto him. The minute Gakuhou was sure the teachers had gone, he looked to Karma with an apologetic look on his face. “It's fine,” he waved him off, “I uh… I won't tell anyone, it's really okay.” Why the hell would he feel so guilty for hurting Karma when he actively abused his own son? It didn't make a lot of sense to Karma, but he figured it would be the same reason as his own abuser: Gakushuu was his property, so he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. But when it came to other people, he had to be normal… he couldn't hurt them because they weren't safe. Which was sad… the idea of having 'safe' children to abuse. 

Surprisingly, it was Gakushuu who spoke, “No, Karma, it's not… my father had no right to—”

“He didn't know what he was doing,” Karma pointed out, “He was angry.”

“That is absolutely no excuse,” the man himself protested, wondering if that was how Karma justified whatever it was that happened to him by his stepfather's hands. What he had done to Karma was inexcusable and he felt awful about it. “I—”

Karma sighed, shaking his head; these people should know it was better to just take the freebie and figure out how to slip one by the cops. “There's no sense in arguing over something that didn't happen. All we've gotta do is get our story straight and everything will be fine.” When he glanced over at Gakushuu, the swelling was getting worse, so he grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to the desk, sitting him in the chair and getting in his bag; he always had first-aid on his person because of his dad. Violet eyes studied the redhead carefully as he pulled his kit out and kneeled down in front of him; it seemed like a little much for a high schooler, but what would Gakushuu know? He didn't even think to carry one around.

As he disinfected the cut, Gakuhou watched somberly, wondering just how many times the child had done such things to himself… It wasn't easy, knowing something was going on at his home and he could do nothing to stop it because Karma would likely not want his stepfather to be taken away; they were too close for comfort, and that was disconcerting. As Karma was checking to see if Gakushuu needed stitches, his phone started ringing. “Hmm?” he answered absentmindedly, thumb close to Gakushuu's mouth. It was hard for both of them, being so close to each other, but they hid it rather well: Karma used the kit, and Gakushuu used his bag. Both desperately begged their bodies to just listen for once and calm down.

_“Karma!” It was Manami. “What the hell happened in there?”_

“Oh,” he cleared his throat, “Nothing really. Gakushuu is fit as a fiddle, I promise.”

_“I don't give a shit about him! Are you okay?”_

The other teen's jaw went slack at that offensive comment and Karma snorted, deciding that his lip was fine before moving his hand to Gakushuu's jawline and cheek, checking for broken bones. “M'fine,” he muttered, more concerned with the attractive boy in front of him rather than the squeaky, overly worried girl on the phone. “Can you open your mouth?” Gakushuu tried, and did so with little effort, though it definitely hurt a bit.

_“What do you…? Oh my God, are you with Gakushuu?!”_

“Manami, I'll talk to you later.” He hung up, tossing his phone aside onto his bag so he could really focus on what he was doing. Nothing felt broken, or looked broken… but he wanted to be sure. He didn't like feeling Gakushuu's face because it was so smooth or soft or anything—definitely not! “Are you numb anywhere? Or tingly?” Gakushuu shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows; was Karma trying to be a doctor? If so, he would probably make a pretty good one. “Hurt when you move your eyes or blurry vision?” Violet orbs darted from side to side before he shook his head again. “It hurts though, right?” Of fucking course it hurt! The obvious look he received made him laugh a little. “Let me see the underside of your tongue.” Though hesitant, Gakushuu did so and Karma didn't see any bruising. “You should be fine, then… if the swelling doesn't go down on its own, I recommend seeing a professional.”

Gakushuu nodded, face heating up at how close Karma still was to him, and Karma's did the same when he noticed the other teen was blushing: had he been found out?! Gakuhou merely laughed at the display, making both teens scowl. “What? I just find it humorous that someone who is so scared of hospitals acts like they want to work in one.” Karma went to protest, but snapped his mouth back shut: saying it wasn't his fault he had to be so knowledgeable on the subject, but he had to be if he wanted to make sure he didn't die or anything, would just cause unneeded concern.

As he packed his things, he shook his head. “I don't wanna be a doctor… I don't know what I wanna be.” Honestly, he was fairly convinced he'd be forced to become a housewife for his stepfather since the man seemed like he never wanted to let him go. High school was hard enough, but college, and eventually out of the house…? Not happening. That much, Karma was almost positive of. Yeah, he was going to be nothing when he was older… a nobody who was trapped in his own home.

“You should seriously consider medical school,” Gakushuu encouraged him, sensing his mood drop and wanting to make up for everything he and his father had done. Being genuinely nice to another person was not something he was good at, but he was willing to try… after all Karma had done for him, he could at least try to make him happy.

Laughing a little, Karma shook his head. “I don't like thinking about the future.” Often times because he wasn't really sure if he'd have one: Tadaomi could snap and kill him one of these days, he was sure of it. If he pushed the wrong button too hard, it was a very likely possibility; walking on eggshells was his best course of action, but it was still terrifying to think about how one misstep could lead to an untimely death. Before anyone could say anything about his sudden desolate attitude, he zipped his bag and got to his feet, making sure his erection had died down to the point that it wasn't too entirely noticeable. “You should probably ice that…” He couldn't even meet Gakushuu's eyes at this point, feeling guilty almost. Why? If he knew why that would be wonderful because guilt without a cause was just annoying.

“Father, are you going to let him go home? I mean, you did about kill him,” he quipped, still terrified of mouthing off, but also a little curious to see if he'd really hurt him after all this.

The man scowled slightly, unimpressed by that comment, but even more concerned about the redhead going home. Gakushuu seemed to shrink at the glare he'd received because that probably wasn't too smart considering how unpredictable his father had been lately, but it wasn't enough to satisfy the man… why did he suddenly need more? Shaking the thoughts of that away, he smiled at the redhead. “Karma, you can stay as long as you need to.” Honestly no, he didn't want Karma to go home, that was for sure… Tadaomi was doing something to that boy and all Gakuhou wanted was to keep him safe from harm. Whatever was happening, Karma did well to hide it from everyone and didn't want to admit to anything, even when he had an easy out with Gakuhou. Not that he couldn't relate considering Gakushuu could definitely have his ass thrown in jail by this point if he really wanted to. But he didn't, because for whatever reason, Gakushuu still had the same mindset as he did all those years ago: 'I have to be just like father.' But…

Did Gakuhou really want his son to grow up and act just like him? In the back of his mind, he knew what he was doing was very wrong… pretty much everything he had ever put that poor boy through was wrong. Helping his academic and athletic growth was succeeding in making him both stronger and more likely to be successful at anything he put his mind to: he was dedicated, determined, driven, wise beyond his years. Maintaining control was a literal need on Gakuhou's part, though; being in control of his son was the only thing that that kept him sane. Other than himself and his school, Gakushuu was his prized jewel, and it was just so hard to let his control over his son go; he didn't want to let those puppet strings slip through his fingers. Because without Gakushuu, what else did he have? How would he keep himself in check if he no longer had a source for his pent up anger and occasional bouts of rage? Gakushuu was his to manipulate and mold as he pleased; he was in control of absolutely everything and the child didn't do a thing about it. Because he knew he was helpless… powerless to his father. And Gakuhou reveled in that feeling of power and superiority.

If he just let Gakushuu go… left him to his own devices and didn't punish him for being less than perfect… what would happen? What if Gakushuu failed? Would all of Gakuhou's hard work and dedication of perfecting his precious doll been all for naught? Surely Gakushuu would succeed on his own… right? But that was part of the problem, wasn't it? If Gakushuu surpassed him, he wouldn't be able to handle that. To be defeated by his own son? Sounded like utter hell. He couldn't do that. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Gakushuu become the superior Asano. He wouldn't give up his control so easily. No, he genuinely couldn't. That could absolutely not happen.

Gakushuu had to be punished. He had to be pushed so far into the ground that he would never even want to see the light of day again. Lose his motivation to surpass him… that's what he was planning, to surpass his old man and make a mockery of him. Make him look like nothing but a damn fool. But no. Gakuhou would die before he let that happen. Because he was the greatest; one of the most successful men in the region, if not the entire country. Intelligent, rich, charming, charismatic, powerful, friends with important people he saw as beneath him. Gakuhou was on top and he knew that—flaunted that, while somehow managing not to look like a narcissistic asshole. The man had always surrounded himself by people he knew he was better than, thus fueling his already inflated ego. 

These delusions he created of being better than anyone he came in contact with clouded his mind and judgment; the delusions he created of his son wanting to surpass and bury him six feet under made him act in unsightly ways towards the child. But he couldn't help that… he had to protect himself, and he couldn't let that brat beat him. Gakushuu couldn't go getting a big head. Though at the same time, the images he had in his head of Gakushuu acting so weak and pathetic… those made him even angrier, yet it also brought him joy… he felt safe. Either way, the child was punished without mercy for looking so unsightly and pathetic. But he couldn't help that… it was all out of goodwill. At least, that's what he told himself. It was just to make his son stronger.

Did he want Gakushuu did succeed or not? Even he himself wasn't entirely sure. The whole reason they were in this damn mess was because Gakushuu lost—tarnished the Asano name and made them both look bad. He made an imperfection and came in second to Karma. So why did Gakuhou still not know for sure what his motives behind correcting his son were?

Looking at both boys in front of him, he tried to pick out the differences; they were both a lot alike, but different as well. Why did Gakushuu bring out his control freak, and why did Karma bring out the fatherly side he didn't even know he had? Clearly both could be considered a threat given their intelligence and wit… but only Gakushuu made him feel so, for lack of a better phrase, out of control. Which was odd, because that child was the one person he tried to control the most. 

He met his son's eyes and felt anger bubbling up to the surface once more. Though the initial rage had died down a bit, he still felt angry over the whole imperfection. But at the same time, he felt relieved that Gakushuu had failed. That meant he was no longer a threat. Right? Those unrelenting violet eyes said otherwise; there was a fire burning deep within them and he was only going to get stronger from here on out. Losing hurt, of course, but it would only push him to new heights… just like Gakuhou himself had done all those years ago. And that… that was unnerving.

Why did he feel so threatened by the very thing he created? A 16 year old, no less. All he wanted to do at that moment was put Gakushuu in his place: beneath him. He wanted to bring forth pain and agony, to see the tears and desperation in those normally cold, focused violet eyes. His mind felt as though it was at war; his ego fighting with his conscience. How could he justify hurting his own son when he didn't know why he was doing it in the first place? Did he want him to be weak or strong? Why was he so worried about being surpassed when he was the best? Surely his son could never do something like that. His mind was going a mile a minute trying to rationalize and reason with itself. Maybe he was so conflicted because he knew Gakushuu hated him and was going to do everything possible to surpass him no matter the cost. Gakushuu didn't like being controlled and he wasn't going to be his dad's bitch forever; things were going to change and the man knew his son was a fighter… he'd surpass him eventually.

No. No, he couldn't. Could he? Could Gakushuu really… surpass him?

His vision went hazy… all he could see was Gakushuu, who was staring right back at him, slightly confused and still a bit disoriented. The child just made him so damn angry! He didn't know what he wanted from him! His instability was showing, and the second he took a step towards Gakushuu, Karma intervened. “Gakuhou, stop.” He knew that look, that unstable look of a broken man who seeked his security blanket: abusing his doll. Before Karma could make a move, Gakuhou struck, pushing him back before tackling his child. His narcissism was winning: he had to rid himself of the threat. No one was ever going to make a fool out of him! Not now and not ever!

The sounds of Gakushuu's pained grunts and cries were music to his ears. He maybe got a few punches in before his world went black, collapsing on top of Gakushuu, who looked up to see Karma standing over them, golden eyes panicked and his backpack overhead. “I'm sorry!” He squeaked out, dropping the bag and cowering away. He hadn't meant to hurt him! He hadn't meant to be bad! Now his daddy was going to find out and he was going to kill him! Not to mention he just inflicted pain upon a person, something he said he would try not to do unless it was absolutely necessary because he didn't want to act like his daddy. Even if he loved him, he didn't want to do what he did… didn't want to make anyone else feel like that man made him feel. But he'd just been so worried about Gakushuu! “Shit, oh shit…!”

Gakushuu shoved his father's large body off of him, thankful he hadn't managed to do much, before crawling over to Karma. “Hey, hey… it's okay. He's not dead. He's going to be fine.” But Karma was still panicking, pulling at his hair and slipping into an anxiety attack… afraid that he'd get in trouble, that Gakuhou would hate him, that Gakushuu would get angry. With all the commotion, the secretary came in and nearly shrieked upon what she was seeing before calling security. Well… that went to shit quickly. Gakushuu had no idea how they were going to pull through this at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go. Karma and Shuu are friends now. I’m not fluent in Russian... I tried to learn it, but gave up a while back and now it’s probably even more rusty than it was back then.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, I edited the best I could but I’m running on very little sleep and I have a headache so there may be more mistakes than usual. Thank you for reading, kudos/comments. It means a lot.


	16. Friends are Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Gakushuu talk at a park. Shuu comes clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s almost been three weeks? Oops. I was going to post sooner but like... it didn’t feel like it’d been that long? I apologize for my forgetfulness. 
> 
> Remember when I updated on this date last year and disappeared for like a year? Not gonna happen this time. Probably. 
> 
> Had some trouble with the beginning of this chapter, but I think it turned out okay. Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint.

Thanks to their ability to come up with believable lies in high pressure situations and remaining calm, nothing could really be done; the three of them were cunning and charismatic as ever, able to manipulate their sticky situation to an extent. At least, the Asano’s were, Karma was still a bit out of it, but they survived it nonetheless. The two boys were given permission to go home for the day so the adults could talk things out or something; by the looks on all of their faces, whatever it was probably wasn’t good, but they really didn’t have a choice in the matter. Neither of them really wanted to return to their homes, though, so they decided they'd spend some time together at a nearby park to talk a bit. After being reassured multiple times that he wasn't going to get in trouble for anything and cleaning Gakushuu up in the bathroom, Karma had calmed down considerably. All traces of that panic filled teenager gone and replaced with his haughtiness once more. It was confusing to see him go so back and forth, but Gakushuu didn't comment on it… not after the kid had saved his ass not just once, but twice in one day.

On their way there, they talked, bickering playfully. Of course Karma spoke without a filter and cursed, which Gakushuu reprimanded him for, but he just laughed it off and continued his antics. The whole time they walked, Karma made sure to keep his distance, Gakushuu noted, and for that he was glad because being in such close proximity with Karma made his stomach feel weird. It was a very strange fluttery feeling that he didn't really know how to describe; the same one he often got around Karma. Previously he'd thought it was rage, but clearly that wasn't the case because he wasn't angry at the redhead at all this time. It was strange, but he tried not to think about it too much. 

About half way there, Gakushuu was starting to feel a little dizzy, so he had to slow down a bit. Quick to notice, Karma slowed down as well, trying not to look as concerned as he felt. “You alright?”

“Dizzy,” he blinked a few times, just trying to stay upright. When his vision went spotty and black, he nearly fell over, reflexively reaching out for something to keep himself steady as he’d stumbled forward. Thanks to Karma’s quick reflexes, he’d managed to succeed in catching Gakushuu’s arm, making sure he didn’t fall flat on his face. Any more head trauma and he’d probably get more than just a mild concussion. 

Considering how close they’d been for the last two hours, Karma was nearing his limit; he didn’t know how much more close contact he could handle before he exploded or something. But they were friends, so he sucked it up and scooched in even closer, allowing Gakushuu to lean on him when he needed to. Maybe he had a concussion after all…? Every time their shoulders touched Karma tensed slightly, unsure as to how he was supposed to react with his crush so close; when Gakushuu latched onto the back of his jacket, he started getting a little more concerned. Hesitantly, Karma put his arm around Gakushuu, hand shakily hovering over his lower back for a moment before taking the plunge and pressing it firmly to Gakushuu’s back to help keep him steady; he was surprisingly warm… firm. Neither of them really knew what to say, so they just awkwardly continued their trek to the park in tense silence. 

It didn’t take too entirely long before Gakushuu felt okay again, just a little sleepy and off balance. “Better?” The other teen just nodded, staying close just in case the dizziness came back. When the hand on his back disappeared, he felt a little disappointed and wasn’t sure as to why. Was he honestly that touch-starved? Not wanting to think about it, he shook the thoughts away and just kept on walking. 

Once they arrived at the park, a wave of nostalgia washed over both of them; when he was younger, Karma used to go to places like this with his mommy, and Gakushuu remembered coming to this same park with his mama when he was a toddler. Without a word, both boys gravitated towards the swings and sat in the pair on the closest end; Gakushuu was just sitting there looking at his feet, trying to focus and stop being dizzy, while Karma gently kicked himself back and forth. Even though he didn't go very high, he still felt a little nauseated and ended up having to stop. His mind was far too muddled for him to move that much. “Does he… hurt you like that a lot?” He asked after a while of silence. Not that he didn't already know, he just wanted to hear it from Gakushuu.

Well, it wasn't like he could exactly hide it from him anymore, huh? “Yeah… I mean, it gets pretty bad sometimes. But I live with it. Father is all I have, and if he goes away I will most likely be put into foster care.” Not a chance in hell was that happening; he'd heard the stories, read the news articles… no way was he about to let himself be put in such an uncontrollable, risky situation like that; even if a lot of homes were okay, what if he was sent to a bad one? No. That was not happening. Legally, he couldn't live on his own until he was 18, which really sucked, nor did he have any relatives that he knew of… but at the same time, he knew that even if he could leave earlier, his father wouldn't let him. Not that Gakushuu would leave if he had the chance now anyway considering he didn't have the means to take care of himself since he didn't have a job or money.

Ah, so that was it. As much as Karma wanted to say that Gakushuu could live with him, he figured the teen would be better off with his own father rather than Tadaomi. That man was so fucking unpredictable, and Karma would never want anyone else to go through what he had to. No one should have to fear for their life every single day, especially in their own damn home. “Why don't you fight back?” Was it because he loved him, or feared him? For Karma it was both… lately he'd been feeling more of the latter when he was around Tadaomi, even when he was sober. It had gotten to the point that he was afraid to even initiate conversation with the man… because what if he messed up or said something wrong and Tadaomi snapped? With how he'd been acting the last few months, one mistake could be fatal.

“I can't…” He looked up at the sky, grey and cloudy, matching the events of today to a T. It was almost humorous. “You don't know what he's really like—what he's capable of. If I fought, things would just get worse.” After the last time he'd even attempted it, there was no telling what would happen if he ever tried it again. Being drowned like that was far from pleasant, and he didn't want it to happen again.

That made sense to Karma… Gakuhou seemed like the type to do that. Just like his daddy. “Do you love him?” It was something he had to ask… he had to know if he was the only one who loved their abuser too much to really fight.

At first he stayed silent, pondering over what to say… then he shrugged, shooting a side glance to Karma to see his reaction. “Would it sound crazy if I said yes?”

Good… so he wasn't the only one. “No…” He shook his head slowly, biting the inside of his lip. “He's your dad, so it's not crazy.”

Things were silent between them for a bit, neither one of them really sure where to take the conversation now that they had made the topic so heavy and depressing. “Can I tell you something? You can't tell anyone else.” Karma was his first friend, and after everything they'd been through, he felt he could probably trust him. Even if this was a mistake, he could just ruin Karma's life if he betrayed him. But Karma didn't really talk to many people so he figured it'd be fine. When Karma nodded, he took a deep breath and gathered his composure. His grip tightened on the chains holding up the swing, ready to just come out with it and tell at least _someone_. “This has been going on since I was probably five or six…” Karma's eyes widened because damn that was a long time… Gakushuu was so young. So little. It made him sick. “My entire life, I've had to be perfect, and when I wasn't, he would hurt me. Even for the tiniest little thing. And I think at this point my mind is like… _wired_ to think whatever he does to me is okay. Even though I hate it, I eventually accept it as him bettering me.”

“That's not what this is,” Karma said quickly, not wanting him to think he deserved that kind of treatment or that there was anything good about it. “Gakushuu seriously, this shit isn't okay.” Of course he felt like a hypocrite for saying these things, but deep down he still felt like he was the only one who deserved it… no one else should have to feel the things he felt, or go through any type of abuse. Because Karma knew how it felt… and Gakushuu didn't deserve to be treated like that. Even if he was sometimes uptight, and cocky, and pretentious, and kind of mean—all of which were probably influenced by the abuse, Karma figured—he didn't deserve any of what he was put through.

The other laughed a little, “I know… I know, but it's kind of just been forced into my head for so long that it seems like the right answer.” Yeah, Karma had fallen victim to the same thing. More silence, and then Gakushuu let out a small, almost shaky sigh. “But lately he's been getting worse, and it's teetering over the line of what's normal to borderline sadism… like, rather than just correcting my behavior and being done with it, it's starting to seem like he enjoys it. More than usual. And… honestly, I'm scared.” Thinking about what could happen was terrifying. His grip tightened on the chains, knuckles turning white. “If he comes home after this… I have no idea what's going to happen and…” He swallowed the lump in his throat, not wanting to seem weak in front of Karma, but unable to really help it.

This was the first time he'd really come to someone about… well, about anything, really, so he was getting kind of emotional. Having someone listen to his problems and not hit him or call him weak or pathetic or stupid… it was a nice change. And being able to admit he was afraid and that he didn't know what to do; that was something he didn't think he'd ever be able to do. Just being able to _talk_ like this made him really happy. Friends are nice, he decided… but Karma was really the only one he wanted. Karma was the only one who he felt was worthy… he wasn't fawning over him and kissing his ass to get on his good side. Rather, Karma treated him like a human being and didn't care about much of anything at all… he was himself and didn't give a shit what Gakushuu had to say about it. Granted why he was brave enough to talk crap all those months ago. For that reason, Gakushuu had found himself respecting Karma a little bit back then because no one had ever spoken so openly or insulted him like that. It had been exhilarating. 

Seeing Gakushuu look like that… on the verge of tears and unsure, Karma caved. Even though he knew Gakushuu probably wouldn't accept in fear of looking weak or whatever, he would at least offer. “You can… stay at my house, if you want.”

Stay at… Karma's house? He'd never stayed at anyone's house before. Aside from summer camps for athletics and academics, he'd never stayed anywhere but his own home. “I… I don't want to intrude.”

But Karma shook his head, insisting because if Gakushuu was there, Tadaomi wouldn't hurt him. He could sleep in his own bed again… he could finally feel normal for once in his life. Most likely. “Daddy probably won't mind.” A very strong probably because who knew how he would react to such a request considering how much he hated people being close to his baby boy. But Karma was willing to risk it since the man had been fairly decent the last couple of weeks… not as scary. Still scary, but considerably better, when he was sober, at least; Karma assumed it probably had something to do with the fact that he’d been less mopey and wasn’t whining as much. 

Okay, that was it; he couldn't hold his tongue about this any longer. “Why do you call him that?” Gakushuu couldn't even imagine himself calling Gakuhou anything but 'Father' or obscenities… only in his head, of course!

What was the problem? Karma didn't really see why names for parents had an age limit. He'd been calling him 'Daddy' since he was 12, it seemed a little weird to revert back now. Not to mention Tadaomi would probably manage to turn that little thing into a big thing, which would result in pain on Karma's end; change at this point wasn't going to happen unless Karma had a death wish. But he couldn't tell Gakushuu that, so he furrowed his brows and asked what he'd wanted to in the first place because everyone seemed to find it odd. “Am I not supposed to?”

That response was unexpected to say the least; did Karma really not see a problem with calling his father 'Daddy' at 16 years old? “I uh, I guess it's fine. But typically teenage boys don't call their fathers that.”

“Oh…” He couldn't say that he hadn't noticed that because Hiroto and Yuuma were always saying 'dad' or 'father' or really disrespectful things when they were angry. Just hearing them say terrible things like that about their dads made Karma's stomach churn; if he called Tadaomi any of that, he would be dead. “It's always been normal for us… should I just call him that at home?”

“If you want people to stop looking at you weird, then probably.” He laughed a little when Karma made a face, as if trying to think back to all the times people gave him weird looks. “It happens more often than you think.” Making him feel bad was not his intention, but he thought his friend should know.

“Who?” Now Karma was kind of irritated because he didn't like people talking shit behind his back. If they had something to say, then they should say it to his face. He had no issue getting into verbal brawls with anyone… except for Gakushuu.

“Most of our class… Rio and her friends… um, pretty much anyone you've said it around… even your so-called friends have talked about it on multiple occasions.” Which wasn't a lie; Hiroto always had something to say about it, even Manami was put off by it, and that only proved to Gakushuu how funny the concept of having friends was. What was the point if they were only going to talk about you behind your back? But he felt Karma was different, thus the reason they were now friends. The irritation on Karma's face was not hard to see and Gakushuu shrugged, “If you don't want to stop, don't stop. In the end it's your life, he's your dad, and you can call him whatever you want.”

At this, Karma seemed to relax a little and a small smile crept up to his lips… it was really surprising to see that Gakushuu had this nicer side to him. Just hearing Rio's name kind of brought back some of those previous depreciating thoughts, but he pushed them down; he'd promised himself he'd never think about it or her again. “School is out this week anyway, I guess I don't really have to worry about it until August.” Actually… he didn't really have to worry about it at all. “Or ever, because I don't think I'm going to come back to school.” His dad had already been talking about it… taking him out of school and not letting him leave the house as much. Freedoms were being stripped from him left and right for pretty much no reason other than Tadaomi and his stupid delusions and jealousy. Karma hated it immensely, but his daddy knew best, and there was really nothing he could do to stop him. 

Gakushuu blinked at this sudden revelation; they just started getting along, and he wasn't allowed to leave. “What? Why?”

Sensing Gakushuu's irritation, Karma felt the strong urge to cower down, but he tried to stay strong. Why did Gakushuu do this to him? It so was weird. “Um… I don't know. I haven't been in school for so long and this year was extremely stressful. I—”

“Junior year won't be. You won't have to worry about anything because we're friends. If you haven't already noticed, people tend not to mess with me.” Not to mention Gakushuu knew he was probably the main cause of Karma's stress; of course he had no idea that the real reason wasn't really about school at all. “Besides, you're pretty smart for a delinquent,” he winked, making Karma gulp; he couldn't do that to him! No winking! Was he flirting or just being nice? Karma couldn't tell, but he secretly hoped it was the former. Yet, he was also terrified if he really was flirting because Tadaomi would kill him if he found out. “You are literally my only friend and—”

“You have friends,” Karma pointed out. Even though Gakushuu was usually alone, he saw him talk to a lot of people throughout the year.

“I have acquaintances I only associate with at school, and girls who like to flirt with me; I certainly would not consider them 'friends' to me.” Seriously!? Actually, on second thought Karma found that making a lot of sense; Gakushuu was pretty fake, and he should have figured he was only being polite to keep up that perfect façade of his. It made him feel special to know he was one of the only people who got to see the real sides of him… even the less than pleasant ones. Sure, Karma hid things from everyone and lied more than he cared to admit, but he wasn't fake; he was who he was, and if someone had an issue with that, he wasn't going to change. “I have never really wanted friends; to be perfectly honest, I never saw the appeal.” Karma knew where he was coming from because he'd used to feel the same way; as long as he had his daddy, he didn't need anyone else. Whether or not that was influenced by Tadaomi himself, he couldn’t remember. The only reason he'd started wanting friends was because it was always so lonely and boring by himself in that big house. “But you're different.”

Different…? “Is that a bad thing?” The guy did hate his guts for the last year, so he did have some doubts about this whole friendship thing.

“No,” he smirked, clearly amused. “It is definitely a good thing. Otherwise we probably wouldn't be here right now. Unlike everyone else, you are not actively kissing my ass.” He slapped a hand over his mouth, he hadn't let one slip like that in a while… curse Karma and his foul mouth! At first, he half expected to be smacked, but then remembered his father wasn't around and relaxed a bit.

Hard as he tried to hold it in, Karma ended up busting up at how flustered Gakushuu just got over one little word. “Dude, swear all you want. It's not gonna kill you.”

“If my father heard—”

“Your father isn't _here_ ,” he smirked, “Also, back to the first part of the conversation, did you want to stay with me or not? I kind of have to ask Daddy, er…” It kind of seemed like Gakushuu felt uncomfortable when he called him such things… which was confusing but he didn't question it. Or maybe he was just uncomfortable about staying somewhere he'd never been before. “My dad.” It felt so weird coming off of his tongue like that.

It was definitely not something Gakushuu ever thought he would do, but he nodded. “That would probably be best, if your daddy,” he smirked in a devilish way that was definitely fitting, “Says yes.”

Red tinged Karma's cheeks hearing that come from Gakushuu; it was nice to know he wasn't always serious. And Karma couldn't hate him for teasing… though if it was anyone else he probably would have shoved them. “Don't be a dick,” he grinned. “But if he says no you can stay anyway,” Karma shrugged, “I can sneak you in.” He'd just have to be careful, and keep Tadaomi busy while Gakushuu just stayed in his room or something. 

“Karma, I can't just—”

“No, it'll be okay.” Probably. So long as he was in a good mood and sober, things should be fine. Karma pulled out his phone and tried to think of how to word things so his dad would say yes. 

**Karma**  
Hey daddy

**Daddy**  
Hey baby, what's up?

**Karma**  
So um… you know how I said I was pretty sure Gakuhou was abusive?

**Daddy**  
Yes…? Baby, I thought you said you hated him and were going to stay away from him. 

**Karma**  
Yeah, and I did! But today he kinda lost it and smacked Gakushuu so hard that he like flew across the room and hit the wall in front of the whole class, and then proceeded to pretty much try to kill him when they ran away. But I saved him! So now Gakushuu is kinda scared to go home and he doesn't have anyone else, so… can he stay with us? For just a little bit until things calm down?

**Daddy**  
Holy shit… what a fucking psycho. You did the right thing stepping in like that. Are you okay? Is he okay? Yes he can stay for a bit. 

**Karma**  
Yeah… it got kinda scary. I'm fine for the most part, he's got a busted lip and maybe a concussion but I checked him out pretty thoroughly so his jaw probably isn't broken, and the concussion, I dunno. Thank you!

**Daddy**  
I'll bet. Oh shit, do you think he needs stitches? That's good, I’ll have the first aid kit ready for when you boys get here.

**Daddy**  
Shit, you don't have your car… do I need to pick you up?

**Karma**  
Gakushuu says not to trouble yourself and that he's fine to walk. 

**Daddy**  
I thought you said he was a terrible person…?

**Karma**  
Eh, he's not so bad after all. We're friends now, I guess. He's much more pleasant when he's not being mean lol

**Daddy**  
Friends huh?

**Karma**  
Daddy I swear. He's straight. Girls fawn over him constantly.

**Karma**  
And he's dating Manami!

**Daddy**  
Ew, how can he date that whore? But alright honey. I'll still pick you up though. I don't want him to hurt himself or anything. Where are you at?

**Karma**  
The park close to the school. We needed somewhere we could talk about his dad.

**Daddy**  
Be there after I clean up a bit, baby. I love you. 

**Karma**  
I love you too Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there’s that. Next chapter should be up in a few days? Most likely. I should probably set a reminder or something. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. I looked over it and caught more than usual since I’d been changing and adding quite a bit to it, but I might’ve missed some. I dunno. It’s late. I’m tired. Should probably post now before I change my mind. I had something else to say but I don’t remember what it was now. Oh well. 
> 
> As always, hopefully you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading and kudos/comments. Really, just thanks for sticking with this.


	17. Not so Different After All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu figures things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really bored and surprisingly really motivated. So here’s another chapter. I know, two chapters within 24 hours, crazy.
> 
> Gakushuu’s POV this time. Hopefully the POV switches aren’t too bothersome.

Karma and his father are… weird, together. They're close, yet Karma seems very distant at the same time. When Karma sat in the back rather than the front, something was definitely unusual about the silent stare down they had in the mirror. It's hard to explain, but it seemed a little odd to me. Maybe I'm not the best person to really comment on something like this given my own relationship with my father, but there's definitely something off. And Karma's dad… he's strangely observant, always watching me… almost like I'm a threat to him. What? Does he think I'm going to hurt his son? You know, I bet he's concerned because I'm sure he knows all about me and what the two of us have been through this last year; with as much as he seems to love—I think it's love, it still seems weird to me—Karma, I wouldn't put it past him to secretly hate my guts. 

“So Gakushuu,” Karma's father addresses me and I look up, gripping my phone in my hand tightly because it really seems like he's angry. “Do we need to stop by your house for some things or…?”

“If you would not mind, that would be helpful. But—”

“It's no trouble at all. Don't worry about it.” Beside me, Karma shifts in his seat awkwardly as he glances up at his dad, quickly going back to his phone when they make eye contact in the mirror. Did I do something to cause tension? My phone buzzes and I look down at it. 

**Karma**  
Don't look at me. If he asks, can you please tell him you're dating Manami? He worries about me dating (it's a huge thing, please don't ask) and he absolutely hates her because he knows she likes me, and I don't want him to hate you because he thinks you like me too. Because after everything you would actually have a crush on me lmao

Well… that's a lot to take in. Why would his dad not want him to date? I mean, yeah, Father didn't want me to date anyone either, but he had his insane, controlling reasons for that. But what reason would Karma's dad have for that? Weird. Maybe it has something to do with Rio… if I recall correctly, I believe my father said that they were dating at some point and his dad got angry when he caught them making out or something of that nature. I suppose it's not really my business… but I'll ask Karma later. And if it comes down to it, I'll do as Karma asked. Wait… why would his dad be worried about him dating a male?

The rest of the drive there is silent aside from the music on the radio, some rock song is playing that no one seems to be listening to. When we get to my house, I feel a little hesitant to leave Karma in the car but I do anyway because if there was really a problem between them, Karma would have told me. Right? He does offer, though, asking if I was still dizzy and if I needed help, but I had declined because his dad didn't seem to want him to leave. So I head inside and quickly pack some clothes, my electronics, toiletries, and anything else I may need into one of my big athletic bags. Don't know how long I will be staying with them, so I pack enough for a week and I'll go from there. Hopefully I don't need to stay more than a week because I'm really going to miss my bed… probably. You know, being away from my father is actually pretty exciting because he can get really overbearing. It'll be a much needed break and maybe when I come back things will go back to normal. 

Once everything is packed, I look out my window and just barely see them in the car, Karma looks like he's upset about something and his dad is shouting? Shit. I'll text him before I come out so I don't walk in on some sort of screaming match. 

**Gakushuu**  
Sorry for taking so long. I will be right out.

 **Karma**  
It's fine! Don't worry about it! Told my dad you were dating Manami because he was pestering me about you liking me or something crazy like that. What part of 'just friends' is so fucking hard to understand!?!?!

 **Gakushuu**  
Are you gay?

 **Karma**  
… I don't know. But I told him you're not and now he believes me! :)

How does he not know something like that!? He's 16, so… shouldn't he know? Then again, I can't really say that I know whether or not I am. But figuring that out is the least of my worries, and if I was gay, Father would probably disown me or something. Probably. I do not know his stance on homosexuality or anything like that. Nor do I want to find out. So my sexuality will remain a mystery forever since I don't plan on delving too deep into figuring it out. I've never really thought about it because I've never been in love, or even attracted to anyone. Guess I shouldn't criticize him for not knowing when I don't even know myself.

 **Gakushuu**  
Do I come off as gay??

 **Karma**  
lol no. You can't really know if a person is gay unless they tell you. He just assumes people try to hit on me all the time. Blame my mommy lol

 **Karma**  
I mean, my mom. Anyway, please come back because it's tense in here

 **Gakushuu**  
Oh… okay good. You can call your mom whatever you want, Karma. On my way out.

As I'm walking down the stairs, I nearly fall due to a dizzy spell and black spots take over my vision, but manage to catch myself on the railing. Man, what's wrong with me? Shaking it off, I grab a water from the fridge and head out. After locking up the house, I jog to the car and reclaim my seat next to Karma, who has definitely been crying a bit. Damn… just how upset can his father make him? Usually Karma isn't so quick to break out the waterworks. Only a father knows what buttons to press with their child, I suppose. “All set?” Mister… er, what's his last name? It probably wouldn't be Akabane, would it? We never really got properly introduced because of the whole stare down thing. When I nod, he smiles at me and then starts driving. That was so fake, after living with my father, I would know. Karma keeps his head down, not looking at me, probably so I won't see the tears in his eyes, and on his phone. Guess I'll have to text him if I want answers because talking right now seems like a bad idea. 

**Gakushuu**  
Are you okay?

 **Karma**  
Yeah

 **Gakushuu**  
Are you sure?

 **Karma**  
Just fine

 **Gakushuu**  
You can tell me.

 **Karma**  
There's nothing to tell

 **Gakushuu**  
Please?

 **Karma**  
Please drop it

Jerk. I put my phone back in my pocket at just look outside, rolling my eyes at my newfound friend who is keeping things from me. If he's feeling bad or if they got in a fight, he should be able to tell me. After everything I've told him, he should at least trust me a little. Enough to tell me what's wrong. Maybe I'll be able to weasel it out of him later. “Do you boys want lunch?”

“I can just make something at home,” Karma says softly. Can he seriously cook? By looking at him, he definitely doesn't seem like the type of guy to learn something like that. “If that's okay with you?” He directs that to me and I just nod slowly, still a little in shock that Karma actually knows how to cook. Father told me it wasn't necessary to know much about it because all we really need is the basics and fruits and vegetables, which aren't hard to obtain. And he always felt the need to add that if I got married my wife could take care of it, but he usually did well to tell me to stay away from women until my mid twenties, or my entire life if I was willing. So yeah, my cooking knowledge—if you can even call it that—goes about as far as buying things at the store and prepackaged meals. “I went grocery shopping yesterday, so I can make whatever, Daddy.”

“Whatever you want, baby boy,” he says so nonchalantly and I don't really know what to think. Is this really normal? His calculating grey eyes meet mine in the mirror and I quickly go back to my phone. “Texting your girlfriend?”

Nosy. My cheeks heat up a bit. Here's the test, I'm sure. “Yeah…” Most teenage boys like myself wouldn't spill most of the details to a man they hardly know so I leave it at that and try to play up the shyness about it. Not to mention I'm actually really uncomfortable because that glare of his is something else… Father's is scarier, but his is a close second. Am I really supposed to keep pretending to date her just so I can be friends with Karma? Not that I'm not willing, but just the thought of being with Manami in that way kind of makes my stomach feel sick. It doesn't feel right at all. Hopefully he never pries too deep or expects to see us together because I would really rather not spend much time with her. She's kind of rude, I have come to find out after her conversation with Karma today. 

“How long has it been?”

Oh crap! Karma didn't tell me this. But I open my mouth to bullcrap something because I want to be friends with his son and I'm willing to lie for him to make it happen, but am quickly cut off. “Daddy stop prying. You're making him uncomfortable.” Oh thank you so much, Karma. “But if you really must know, she confessed to him like… a month and a half ago? I think that's what she said, I don't really know because we don't really talk that much anymore.” His father looks pleased with what he just said though which means he must genuinely hate Manami. Karma looks to me for confirmation and I just nod before kind of shrinking down; this conversation is not something I want to be a part of. Thinking back to a month and a half ago makes me agitated though… because back then Karma was really, really depressed if I remember right. I remember seeing him in the locker room—he always changes in the shower or bathroom stall, like me—and his sleeve rode up on his jacket… there were what looked like self harm marks. Clearly he had been going through something, not that I ever asked because… well because I am kind of a jerk to be perfectly honest. Even though I could see he was hurting, I chose not to care or pry because of… because I don't know. His existence made me angry back then… at least, I'm pretty sure that's what it was. 

“First girlfriend?” He smirks at me and I nod again, red taking over my cheeks. Usually I'm good about staying composed, polite, and confident, but this man really gives me a bad vibe. Almost reminds me of my father. Maybe that's why I'm so uncomfortable around him; even if the presence is normal, it is far from pleasant. 

“Daddy, please,” Karma makes a face at him and he chuckles, giving up, thankfully. After that we stay relatively silent. When we pull into his garage and the car shuts off, his dad gets out pretty quickly and rushes in ahead of us. Weird. “Thank you,” Karma breathes out, opening his door and grabbing his bag. 

I follow suit and get out, waiting for my spotty vision to clear before looking over at him; I just barely catch sight of him stretching, and then wincing, letting out a breathy grunt. “Are you sure you're okay, Karma?”

“Yessss,” he laughs, rolling his eyes at me in a very over exaggerated, but still playful, way. “I can have my daddy look at it later, if that makes you feel better.”

“I'd rather just look at it myself,” I grumble under my breath, because I know how to treat things like that. With all the abuse Father has put me through, I think I would know. But I can't force him… not with his dad around. “I didn't know you could cook.” Changing the subject feels like the best decision at this point.

Smirking, he gives me this haughty look before winking, “There's a lot you don't know about me.” Why did my face get so hot just now? What the hell? The sound of his door shutting snaps me out of my thoughts and I watch as he slings the backpack around, letting it hit him pretty hard on the back so he almost had to take a knee there. “Owww…”

“Karma, let me see your back. Seriously.” But he runs inside and shuts the door behind him before I get to the other side of the car, hitting the switch to close the garage as he does so, leaving me in the dark. Before he was all the way gone though, he shot me that same mischievous smirk he's always got on when he's messing around with Manami. Does that mean he's comfortable around me? Why does that make me feel good? The garage is now completely closed and I'm in pitch blackness. Well this is great. So I work my way around and eventually find the door, stepping in with an irritated glare aimed towards Karma, who is just standing there smirking. “That was mean,” I give him an unamused look as I remove my shoes, neatly setting them next to his sloppily removed converse. 

“Eh, it's what I do,” he grins cheekily before motioning for me to follow him. Looking around his house, it's very big and cozy feeling. Not to mention dim. Walls are a deep red color and the flooring is wood with a large grey rug in the center. Furniture is all dark… the windows are covered. The lights aren't very bright, but there's a fireplace that probably lightens it up in the winter. This is a very dark home… but it's pretty cozy, I guess. The stairs are carpeted up the middle and the hall is dimly lit as well. Why is it so dark? Geez, are they vampires or something? As if sensing my confusion and slight apprehension about being here, he looks back at me with a small smile. “We like it dark… Daddy drinks a lot and I get headaches easily.”

All I can do is nod because how did he know what I was thinking? Usually people aren't able to read me very well, but it's almost as if Karma can see right through me… which is weird. “Makes sense, I was beginning to think you were vampires…” At first he's a little taken off guard, probably because he's already pegged me as a more serious person, but ends up laughing, muttering something under his breath. All the doors are wooden, but his looks newer than the rest. Huh, wonder if he just took care of it or he broke it so that it had to be replaced… I'd assume the latter considering who he is. As cautious as he is, I know he can get pretty aggressive when he wants to be; I've seen him in action and, if he's provoked enough, he can be fairly mean. 

Inside, I find it's rather… unlived in. The bed looks like it hasn't been touched in a while, there's no mess at all like I would have expected given how unorganized he usually is; everything is just too clean. As I'm scanning for _something_ to let me know that this room actually belongs to Karma, my eyes fall upon the stains on the soft, blue-grey carpet. Dark, _red_ stains. His bed has the wooden canopy thing, covered with black sheets—man he really doesn't like light—and there are weird marks all over the thing, like… he's been tied to it. I can tell because I have gone through similar things. There are dents and holes in the grey walls, claw marks in some areas, what I assume to be knife slashes in others. Body frozen and eyes darting around to every mark I can find; mind racing and trying to piece everything together. My heart starts racing and my head pounds as all the pieces fall into place one by one.

Looks like Karma and I aren't so different after all. 

His voice snaps me out of my dark thoughts. “You can just set your stuff wherever.” That's the least of my worries… but I can't tip him off yet. So I just set my bags by his desk and look at him while he just kind of glances around, kicking at the carpet with his socked foot. Wonder if he's reliving some of those instances in his head every time he sees a mark… “You can stay in here or come with me, it doesn't matter. There's an attached bathroom right there.” He points to the door I thought was a closet and then goes to walk out. Well, I'm not about to stay in here alone, so I follow him back downstairs and to the modern looking kitchen. This is really awkward now… I don't know what I should do or say, but I definitely know why his dad feels threatened by my presence now. 

While he looks around for… ingredients or something, I just stand there awkwardly behind him, unsure of what to do with myself. Usually I wouldn't be so confused or uncertain, but this is an unusual occurrence and I'm not sure on the etiquette of staying at a friend's house. What am I supposed to do? “Gakushuu, come over here so I can make sure you don't have a concussion.” His father says from the dining room table that I had no idea he was sitting at. At first I'm hesitant because I don't want him to hurt me, but then I realize he wouldn't do that because people like him and my dad try not to hurt other people who can get them thrown in jail. He's going to put on his act and pretend things are normal the whole time I'm here. Hmm, maybe I should stay for Karma's sake. Karma nudges me forward with what's probably supposed to be a reassuring look on his face, and I slowly make my way over. He has a whole kit… probably for when he has to patch his son back up and check for problems. “By the way, I'm Tadaomi Karasuma if Karma hasn't already told you.”

Ah, so they don't have the same last name. Wonder why Karma didn't want it changed considering he loves the guy so much. It's not hard to tell… Karma has probably been brainwashed just like I have been. Poor thing. Why would he choose this man over his mother though? Why? Surely he could have left with his mom? “Gakushuu Asano. Nice to meet you.” Short and sweet. Don't want to get too cozy with this asshole. That's what he is and I will not change my mind. This is one of the few instances where I believe a swear word is necessary because there's no way around it: he's an asshole for hurting Karma. 

While he does pretty much everything Karma did for me earlier, I just kind of sit there awkwardly. This is like sitting in a doctor's office but way worse because this man is a terrible person and deliberately puts my friend through Hell. Maybe that's why Karma always looked like he was in pain… oh my God, these last few months Karma has been so weird… he's the reason. Tadaomi tried to break him and would have succeeded if not for my father stepping in. And Father knew… he had to have known because why else would he show so much concern for a student? This all makes so much sense now. Kind of makes me feel bad for treating Karma the way I did… and I never want Tadaomi to touch him again. Which is unlikely to happen because Karma obviously doesn't want him gone… maybe that's why he was so understanding at the park. Because he loves his abuser more than anything else… just like me. Oh God… 

“What are you making, hon?” He glances up, watching Karma's every move in a way that sends chills down my spine, hairs standing on the back of my neck. It's almost how my father looks at me, his doll to do with as he pleases. Of course that worries me… It may not seem like it at times, but I do have a heart. 

As if startled by Tadaomi's voice, he lets out a small yelp before speaking. “Macaroni… my stomach is kind of upset and it'll be easy for Gakushuu to chew.” How… oddly considerate of him. Maybe I misjudged him a bit… then again, this is a different environment. When speaking to his father, it's not hard to tell how careful he's being; tiptoeing around his words and trying not to upset him by doing anything wrong. God, he reminds me so much of me when I was younger—and even now, at times—that it hurts to watch. He shouldn't have to deal with this… there's no reason for him to be so afraid and submissive. Clearly Tadaomi is not like my father in the sense that he needs things to be perfect, so why is he abusive then? What is Karma doing that's so wrong? What has Karma done to deserve this kind of cruelty? I just… I don't get it. Which is weird for me because I usually understand most things. “Is that… okay?” Oh my God, Karma stop it! It does make me upset to see this because he's usually so upbeat and fiery… even though I hated it, I hate this attitude of his even more. This one just… isn't him. So unbefitting. Flat out wrong. 

Tadaomi nods with a smile, going back to focusing on me. “Of course, baby. Anything you make is good.” At this, Karma perks up a bit, though very subtly. So he likes being complimented… who doesn't? Especially by the person he's trying so hard to please; it feels good, I'm sure. Relieving. Because he knows he's not going to get hurt. A lot how I felt as a kid. So I definitely know what he's going through, but it does not seem like he resents this man in the slightest, which is a tad bit disconcerting to me. But I can't focus on that right now, so I tune back in to the conversation with Tadaomi and put on my act. After asking me a bunch of questions with Karma prompting him on the side, he must come to a decision because he sighs with this concerned look on his face after Karma nods at him. Ah, so this is probably how Karma felt at first when my father pulled this kind of act on him. It's awkward, for sure. “It's probably just a minor concussion, but other than that you should be fine. We will keep an eye on you for as long as you're here and don't hesitate to tell Karma if your symptoms get worse.” Yes, tell Karma because he's the one who knows about this stuff… “Can't have you getting hurt on my watch.” 

No, I suppose he wouldn't want me to get hurt because then he'd have to show me just how knowledgeable he is in the medical field because he's spent the last however many years hurting his son. I'll bet he was the cause of the wrist incident at midterms, too. Wait… the abuse, that's why Karma knew how to treat me after Father pulled that stunt. Because Karma doesn't go to the doctor in fear of Tadaomi being caught, so instead he has to fix himself. Just how long has this been going on? But the two of us can discuss this later because my head is already pounding and if I think too much right now I will get angry and no one needs that. “I will let you know, but I'm sure I will be okay.”

He smiles, getting on his phone before letting out an agitated sigh. Almost immediately Karma freezes, body rigid and tense as Tadaomi gets up out of his chair with a scary look in his eyes. I almost feel scared for him when Tadaomi walks over to where he is; he visibly braces himself when Tadaomi's arm wraps around his midsection and he kisses his head; even though it was just a hug, Karma's eyes are still wide, a subtle look of terror on his facial features. That took a turn I certainly had not been expecting. Are… are fathers and sons supposed to be that close? “I have to go into the office again. Will you both be alright while I'm gone?”

“Yeah, even though our main finals are over, which I totally kicked Gakushuu's ass at, by the way,” he grins at me and I glare back before rolling my eyes in a slightly playful manner. I'm mad, but it was my own mistake that put me in second. Just can't let him do it again or else it'll go to his head. “We still have foreign language and trig finals to study for.” Yeah, those aren't on the whole class finals because not everyone takes the same classes since they're electives, which means they're not factored into the overall finals score. 

He nods, “That sounds miserable. I'll be home before dinner, baby. Alright?” Karma nods and hugs Tadaomi 'goodbye' before he leaves. Even kisses his cheek. Ugh, Karma why? Why are you so affectionate with someone who hurts you? I have _never_ been like this with my father and I never will be. I would turn him in before doing that sort of thing with him. 

Once Tadaomi is gone, the atmosphere shifts back to something much more relaxed. Karma seems lighter, less tense, able to breathe better. I decide to let him calm down while he cooks, giving him a few moments of silence for himself. He can initiate conversation whenever, and I will stay quiet until then. We don't talk for quite sometime, and when the buzzer goes off and he sets the table with our bowls and drinks, he checks the garage before fully relaxing. Paranoid much? Not that I can blame him. We start eating and oh my God this is the best macaroni and cheese I have ever eaten. Wow. “So… I'm sorry you have a concussion,” he says after a while. 

“It's fine,” I shrug, chewing what's in my mouth before speaking, making sure my elbows are off the table, everything Father forced me to do that is now habit. “I have not had one in years, but I should have expected it given the fact that I was so dizzy and my head felt so weird.” Not since I was maybe 11? It was a soccer injury, if I recall correctly… Father was very unhappy. 

“I should have known as well considering I've had multiple concussions in my life, but you didn't really act like I do when I get them so I thought you were okay,” he explains, seemingly a little disappointed with himself for misdiagnosing me. Which is okay because he's 16 years old and he shouldn't even know most of the things that he does. Once we're finished eating and we go up to his room, I'm going to talk to him about things, but for now we should keep the conversation light and happy. “Is the food okay?”

I nod, “It's surprisingly really good.”

His eyes light up a bit before he smirks, obviously trying not to seem too flattered by my compliment and playing it cool. “One of my many talents.”

“You have talent? Since when?” I shoot back and he snorts before covering his mouth, face beet red. “Perhaps when I called you a pig, I wasn't too far off?”

He laughs, still kind of embarrassed but not upset. “So you aren't always serious. That's awesome.”

Actually I am normally a very serious, no nonsense person… but with Karma here and my father gone, I feel freer. It's nice to let myself breathe and have some fun for a bit. I can't remember the last time I've joked around like this with someone. “You bring out my not so wonderful sides, I cannot help it.”

“I think this side of you is pretty wonderful,” he mutters, but I make it out clearly and just kind of stare at him. How… unexpected. In fear of making things awkward, I shove my mouth full of macaroni and keep my gaze on the table. Hearing this is totally flattering, but I haven't the slightest idea as to how to respond to him or put what I'm currently feeling into words. “Did I make things weird? Shit…”

But I shake my head, chewing before speaking. “No, Karma. It's just… pretty surprising to hear you say that, I guess. I am so used to how I normally am that acting like this almost feels alien to me.”

He nods slowly, swallowing before speaking; he's surprisingly pretty well mannered. “Feel free to act however you want around me. I don't care.” After that we fall into a pretty normal conversation about school and how much we hate our foreign language teachers. It definitely isn't surprising to hear that he put his Russian teacher through hell. Just as we finish eating, my phone buzzes and I bite my lip… Father. 

**Father**  
Are you home?

 **Gakushuu**  
No.

 **Father**  
Good. Where are you?

 **Gakushuu**  
Why would I tell you after everything you have done to me? I will not be home for a while. 

**Father**  
Fair enough. I did lose my temper, and I cannot guarantee it will not happen again. If you are not home before next week, do remember that you have camp starting on the first. 

“That your dad?” Karma asks, probably noticing how perturbed I was while replying to my sociopathic father. All I can do is nod because I'm irritated; he basically said he would do it again so of course I'm upset. “Is he trying to make you come home?”

Not replying to my father, I shove my phone into my pocket and focus on Karma. “No, he doesn't really care… he'd probably rather not have me there since the police are most likely trying to investigate him. Either way, I would rather be here with you rather than anywhere near him.” And that's true… Father is not in his right mind at the moment and he may actually kill me if given the opportunity. 

Karma nods slowly, still probably pretty unhappy with the fact that Father was so cruel to me and him. “Oh… as long as you're okay.” After that we fall back into silence and soon enough Karma is drying off our now clean dishes and we're heading upstairs. As we're walking, I make the conscious decision to jump him and look at his back… later on, because he wants to watch TV and I haven't watched television in years. A show called 'Friends' is what he decided to watch and I… I actually kind of like it. It's funny, witty… the clothes are kinda terrible, but it's okay because we both make fun of it before we remember that we were born in the 90s and were forced to dress in a similar fashion. We watch until eventually I get sleepy and everything goes hazy before fading to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Next chapter should be up in a few days? Maybe even tomorrow. Who knows? It’s kinda short so it shouldn’t take too long to get through. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes; I think I edited it fairly well, but it gets hard to concentrate after reading through it so many times. Thanks for reading.


	18. Scars and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma comes clean and the boys get a little closer.
> 
> Gakushuu’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading my earlier chapters for reference, and I’m realizing they’re kinda not that good... also that I can’t do simple math. Whoops. Maybe I’ll go back and make it better some day. The problem with me is that I envision everything perfectly in my head, but I don’t have the writing talent to really put what I see into the proper words. Oh well.
> 
> Had something else I was going to say, don’t remember what it was. Must not have been too important.
> 
> Here’s another chapter. Enjoy.

A strange buzzing sound pulls me out of my slumber; I crack open my eyes to find Karma's phone glowing. My head is pillowed under something warm, and soft… oh no. I look up and confirm that yep, somehow I managed to fall asleep on Karma. Oops. Why would he let me stay, though? As comfortable as his chest is, I force myself up and see that he's peacefully sprawled out on the floor, leg hooked over mine. Carefully getting the limb off of me, I reach over him and grab his phone. Invasion of privacy or not, I don't care; his well-being is at stake, which makes this okay. Probably. 

**8:03 p.m.**

**Daddy**  
Hey baby. Gotta stay a little late. Hate my job. Be home by 10 hopefully.  


Okay… okay, this is good. That means I still have time to talk to him. Unfortunately, either the light from his screen or my sudden movement wakes him up and he quickly snatches the device away before I can look at anything else. Dang it. “Dude, not cool,” he pouts at me before reading the message from his dad. “Hmm? Lame. Guess you'll have to put up with me alone for a little longer.” 

He acts like that's a bad thing; does he honestly think I'd rather it be us plus Tadaomi rather than the two of us alone? Surely he doesn't think I still hate him or have hard feelings… we've discussed this, and I thought I made it pretty clear that we're friends and that we can trust each other. “Guess so,” I smirk at him, sitting up and finding a blood stain right by my hand. Okay… it's now or never. Sneak attacks may be a little underhanded but it’s either catch him off guard or we have a serious fight, which I would rather not do. While he's distracted texting his daddy back, I strike, pinning him on his stomach and restraining his arms with my knees before lifting his shirt up; holy shit. My eyes widen almost painfully and I now regret using so much force to pin him because oh my good God, this poor child. He's littered with scars and cuts and marks and bruises. 

“Hey!” He cries, squirming and fighting before just going limp, completely submitting to me and allowing me to remove the top half of his clothing to take a better look; probably since I've clearly figured him out, and he couldn't break out of my hold anyway. Not to mention it had to have hurt moving like that because this looks incredibly painful; how has he been acting so calm and nonchalant? Shame and embarrassment take over his face, red all the way up to the tips of his ears, while I continue to just stare at him in pure shock; this isn’t right. Once I'm off of him, I gently pull him upright and look over his battered body… this is way worse than what I'd imagined. His back is bruised from Father, as expected, but it had to hurt so much worse than normal because he's clearly recovering from being whipped. When I brush my fingertips across one of the scabbed over lash marks, his body writhes as he he hisses out, “No touching!” 

Oops, yeah I should have known better than to touch one of those; gentle or not, it stings. On his torso, he's littered with painful looking scars, and he’s hiding his arm, which I can only assume is all scarred up from self-harm. I just… I don't know what to say. “What… what happened?”

“Gang related activities…” Like I believe that. Does he take me for an idiot? No, I know he doesn't… he's just trying to protect himself and his abuser. Still, these have clearly built up over the years… this was caused by one person and one person alone. When I give him a 'we both know that's not true' look, he cowers slightly before caving quicker than I'd expected. “Please don't tell anyone,” he sniffles, bringing his hand up and wiping away tears that were most likely caused by me. Didn't mean to make him cry… and this time it doesn't excite me; seeing him so broken and sad because of this just hurts. Everything hurts. “Please, Gakushuu… I can't lose my daddy, he's all I have left.”

Just like me. So I shake my head, “I won't tell anyone, Karma, I swear… but can you at least tell me how long this has been going on? And what he does?” This unintentionally comes out as more of a demand than a request due to my irritation with the situation, so he ends up cowering away from me before nodding like he's about to get in trouble if he wasn't quick enough to answer. Taking a deep breath, I keep my voice steady and light. “Hey, calm down.” Ever so slowly, I hold my hands up in surrender, not wanting to freak him out any more than he already is. Really seeing him like this, it hurts my chest; everything feels tight and I hate it. What did he do to deserve such scars? “I'm not going to hurt you.” He nods again, more relaxed this time, and then he proceeds to tell me his story. 

“Well… as far as I know, the abuse started when I was nine or ten. First it was Mommy, but… then I'd had enough and tried to fight back since she wouldn't…” He vaguely goes into what Tadaomi did to his mother, but is clearly uncomfortable talking about it and changes the subject. “They drilled it into my head that he was my new daddy and I had to love him even though he hurt me because I was bad and it was only out of love… I deserved it, it was my own fault.” That's extremely sad… and wrong. Holy crap, Karma. “Eventually I accepted things and now here we are. I do love him, I really do. And I don't want him to go away so please don't tell anyone, Gakushuu. Seriously.”

“Karma, stop worrying so much. I won't tell anyone…” He visibly relaxes, shoulders slumped and eyes closed for a moment. “But like…” His eyes open and fall back on me, pleading, almost. “Is there a reason he does it?” Perfection doesn't seem to be an issue… nor does messiness, or even disrespect because I can tell that Karma would never openly disrespect his father, not even behind his back. I know fear, and he fears that man. Even though he loves him, he's terrified of him as well. 

He tilts his head at me, eyebrows furrowed. “Because he loves me, I told you that.” 

Oh, so he genuinely believes that, then? Even though he's aware they pounded it into his head, he still believes that he deserves _abuse_ just because Tadaomi _loves_ him? They got him good. Neither one of them had the right to manipulate a child like that… a child who probably genuinely wanted and craved love, only to receive such awful treatment. It pisses me off immensely. “What does he do to you? Why are you so knowledgeable in the medical field?” He's only 16, he shouldn't have to know most of the stuff that he does. It's not fair. 

He explains instances to me, like where Tadaomi—I refuse to call him his father anymore, he doesn't deserve that title—had broken his arm; when Tadaomi drinks he gets really abusive and aggressive for no reason, and apparently his mom was training to be a nurse, so when the abuse started happening to Karma, his mom started teaching him how to treat his injuries and such; how he sprained his wrist and then ended up breaking it when he got mad after he'd found out about our fight, and then continued to hurt it while it was healing; how he whips him without mercy when he's 'bad' or whatever; how he's basically been beaten to the point he can't move and then is left on the floor until his limbs regain feeling and he can finally drag himself somewhere to make sure he doesn't die; how awful the last few months have been on him and how he was so, so close to committing suicide because literally anything will set Tadaomi off. 

Everything is so awful and I hate that he wanted to die so badly. The second person I had a bad, but close, relationship with nearly killed himself and I almost allowed it; again! Even though I saw the signs, I never said anything or really thought into it. Thank God for my father because I think he saved Karma's life by saying what he did. 

Really examining this situation, it's clear to me that Karma is all on his own when it comes to treating his wounds and injuries. If Tadaomi knew what he was doing, he would not have needed Karma's help with me earlier. This means that Karma has had to learn so much in order to treat himself and make sure he wasn't dying or fatally injured because Tadaomi was cruel enough to put him in such a position and just _leave him_. God, just how many times has Karma been left in such awful positions? How many times has Karma had to drag himself to the bathroom or kitchen to patch himself up? How many times did he just lie there crying, wondering if this was the time he was going to die or not? At least Father treated me and made sure I wasn't too badly injured… he kept me alive and made sure I was okay after the fact. But Tadaomi? No… no, he didn't care to check on Karma or anything. Probably barely helped him, too. It's so sad and I'm so angry. The thing that makes me the most angry is that Karma seriously believes he deserves all of it, which isn't true. But that would probably sound hypocritical coming from me.

“You probably think I'm pretty pathetic right about now, huh?” He laughs humorlessly, wiping his eyes and nose on his discarded jacket on the floor next to him. 

Like my mother did with me as a child, I gently place my hand over his and shake my head. Huh, she did teach me some slightly useful things after all. “No, Karma… you're not pathetic. And you're not weak. I was wrong, okay? A weak person would be dead by this point…” Mama. “But you're still fighting to stay alive, and that's pretty admirable.”

Golden eyes wide, he smiles a little, “Thanks for trying to make me feel better. You really are pretty nice when you want to be.”

He acts as though I’m some sort of monster… this isn’t me being fake or lying to make him feel better about anything. “I'm being serious,” I wipe away his tears and try to contain my anger… right now he doesn't need me to be angry at Tadaomi, he needs me to support him. Because that's what friends are for. “I won't tell anyone, so can you come to me with this stuff? I want to know.” Eventually there will come a day when Karma hates Tadaomi so much that he wants him out of his life, and I will prepare for that day. 

Though hesitant, he nods. “You too… so, what about your dad?”

So I tell him… I tell him about how he's a perfection-seeking, narcissistic control freak with a superiority complex, to which he states he'd already figured that much out. Which is to be expected since he's smart and knows how people like my father work. And I tell him about my childhood, vaguely about how he treated my mom and basically drove her to suicide, how he conditioned me into getting over my fears—pretty sure he threw up in his mouth a little—and how I was either treated like a dog, beaten, or locked in my room if I made a mistake or did something Father disapproved of—he looked very disgusted and I don't blame him. Though reluctant, I tell him about the more recent instances… 

“You weren’t the only one who got in trouble after our fight…” He looks a little squeamish, but motions for me to continue before putting his hand back over his mouth. “I swear this wasn't your fault so don't blame yourself, but after you left we got into an argument and I was being disrespectful and spoke out of turn, so he snapped. When we got home, he nearly drowned me multiple times. I genuinely thought I was going to die.” And then I go into the gruesome details and he looks horrified by the time I stop talking. Tears are falling down my cheeks at this point because I legit haven't talked about this, or even tried to think about it, since it happened. It feels really nice to get it off my chest, though. And I trust him not to tell because I know his secrets, too. 

“I knew he was crazy but fuck, Gakushuu,” he shakes his head, pulling at his hair like he does when he's anxious. “I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Fuck, you could have died…”

Should have figured he would blame himself anyway, that's usually how people like Karma are. “It's not your fault, Karma. He lost control.”

All he can do is sniffle and nod, wiping a few of my tears away with his thumb while we just kind of stare at each other and try to cope with our situations. Eventually, he lifts my shirt up, and even though I'm uncomfortable, I let him because I'd taken his clothes off completely so it's only fair. He mutters obscenity after obscenity before looking into my eyes with such a sad expression on his face. “We match.” He traces a few of my scars and I look down at his torso, noting that we do look pretty similar—not to mention he is freaking built, like holy hell. We both have scars… and we both have not so great pasts. But we're here, and alive, and… we're friends. We have each other, now. For the first time since our moms have gone, we have someone else we can rely on. “It fucking sucks, but we match.”

Yeah, he's absolutely right. “Yeah… it fucking sucks, but we match.” His eyes widen before he busts up laughing, obviously he hadn't expected me to use that word of all words. Which I expected, as that was my attempt to cheer him up, but still. “I don't know why you enjoy hearing me swear.”

Once he's calmed down, he shrugs with a small smile on his face. “It's cute when they come out of your mouth. You're just too precious to use such words~” He pinches my cheeks mockingly and I scowl at him as threatening as I can—which isn't very because I'm so flustered and blushing. “It's nice to see you act human, I guess.”

Human… do people really see me as inhuman? Wait a second… did he just call me precious!? Ugh, he's just teasing me again. Jerk. “Whatever,” I smack his hands away before checking the time. “Wow… we talked for like over an hour.”

“Tragic backstories can take a bit,” he says with a smirk, trying to make light of the situation even though he's obviously still pretty upset. After all that, why wouldn't he be? I am too. 

“Are you hungry?” I ask and he nods. “Wanna get food and then work on our trig?” He nods again, so we get ready and head out. 

I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I'm glad to have a friend… especially since it's Karma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you need to know (and probably already know) is that Gakushuu only thinks his father’s abuse is justifiable (most of the time). Which is why he reacts so poorly to Karma’s abuse, because what reason does Tadaomi have to torment his friend? Only his father has the right to do that. Y'know?
> 
> Hope ya liked it. Turned out better than I thought it would.
> 
> Reading the same thing over and over again gets tiring, but I think I managed to catch most of the mistakes. Hopefully there aren’t any formatting issues, it was being kinda screwy when I was trying to fix something. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.


	19. Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma is forced to see Tadaomi in the middle of the night while Gakushuu internally struggles with his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, a new chapter and it’s not two or three in the morning. I hope you all are liking it thus far.
> 
> Warning: Karma and Tadaomi are intimate in this chapter. Also, some internalized homophobia.

**Karma**

Gakushuu is asleep in my bed, perfectly straight and unmoving while I try not to disturb him. This is the cleanest room in the house with a bed, which was why I'd brought him here to stay, and I was going to sleep in another room because the thought of sharing a bed scared the crap out of me. But he convinced me to stay, saying he would be uncomfortable all alone. We both knew that wasn't true… he just didn't want Daddy to find me and hurt me while Gakushuu slept, none the wiser as to what was happening. So now here we are… my head on one end, and his on the other—good thing this is a queen. Usually I toss and turn, but I can't do that if he's here. God, I'm so glad he's here… definitely not happy about the circumstances that led to this point, but oh well. 

It's almost 11 and Daddy still isn't—oh wait, there he is. Beside me, I feel Gakushuu jump a little because the garage is kind of loud. Oh, is he not sleeping? Or maybe the garage just woke him up…even though I'm usually a very light sleeper, I've somehow managed to be able to sleep through it most of the time. “What was that?”

“Daddy.” 

He doesn't say anything else so neither do I. It's so hard having him in the same bed as me because, come to find out, I'm really, really attracted to him. I've legit been hard since we laid down… actually before that, I've been hard since I kinda sorta snuck a few peeks at him while he was undressing and changing into pajamas. It's not creepy, I was just curious, that's all. Scarred and battered as his body may be, he's toned and unbelievably sexy. No one has ever seen his body before, for obvious reasons, but I was not expecting this. Aside from the scars, his skin is smooth and creamy, and there's a glow to him. Not to mention his personality isn't actually all that shitty. Honestly, he's perfect. It's no wonder I'm attracted to him because who the hell wouldn't be? Hopefully Daddy won't want to see me because Gakushuu has taken my dick hostage. It's weird having boners caused by just the thought of another person… it almost never happens, and this one is stubborn so it won't go away. Why him? What makes him different from everyone else?

The garage closes and I hear the door shut, praying Daddy remembers Gakushuu is here and won't bother me. We lay there in silence, listening to him move around the house and such. Just having him here makes me tense and want to cry because what if he knows that Gakushuu knows? What if he hurts him too? Surely he wouldn't, but there's always the possibility that Daddy decided to drink tonight and won't care what he does. Under the covers, I feel shifting before a finger pokes the sole of my foot; I hum softly in response. “You okay?” he whispers. 

Obviously he knows what Daddy does (aside from the sexual stuff, of course, I'd never tell anyone about that) so he's probably able to tell that I do get kind of uncomfortable when Daddy is around now. After the last few months, it's just like… I fear him now more than ever. “Yeah,” I lie, not wanting to worry him. He flicks my foot so hard it starts tingling and I kick at him, “Just go to sleep, asshole.” I pull the covers over my head and curl up away from him. He grumbles something under his breath before curling up as well, stealing the blanket from me. “Give,” I growl lowly, trying to steal it back as quietly as possible, but he won't budge. “Gakushuu, give it back…!” I whisper-yell at him, tugging harder than he must've expected because he comes with them, rolling over and on top of my bottom half. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Please tell me he didn't feel my junk! 

While I'm frozen with horror, he takes advantage of my stillness and takes all the covers for himself, “Tell me what's wrong or you don't get them back.” Is he mad? He kind of sounds upset. Shit, I really don't want him to be mad at me… I don't want him to hate me. “Kar—”

“I'm scared of Daddy, okay?” I snap quietly, tears stinging my eyes because I hate admitting that. Being afraid of Daddy is awful and if he knew I was so scared he'd only get angrier and now Gakushuu thinks I'm a weak piece of shit and…! My body curls in on itself and he covers me up, petting my hair before going back to his end of the bed. 

He sighs, and then nudges me with his foot. “You don't have to be afraid anymore. I won't let him touch you.”

Ha… if only he could do that. Gakushuu won't be here all the time and even when he is here, Daddy won't pull anything until he knows he's asleep. That's why I'm scared right now… because soon Gakushuu will be asleep and Daddy will do as he pleases with me. But what if he wakes up and sees? That absolutely cannot happen. Gakushuu cannot know that Daddy and I have sex… he'd run for the hills if he knew, not to mention tell the police or something. Which would be smart, I guess, but I love Daddy too much to let him go. Even if he hurts me… he can't leave. We love each other, and that's just how things work… that makes it okay. An hour passes and I'm about to fall asleep when my phone buzzes. 

**Daddy**  
Is he asleep?

 **Karma**  
I think so?

 **Daddy**  
Come to bed when you know for sure. 

**Karma**  
What if he wakes up?

 **Daddy**  
It'll be fine. I don't want you in the same bed as him

 **Karma**  
He's not going to do anything. He's dating Manami and they're really cute together and why would anyone ever want me? Why do you think everyone wants me? I'm disgusting

 **Daddy**  
Come here now. 

I quietly climb out of bed, making sure to keep my steps light. But Gakushuu grabs my wrist as I pass by. Should have known it wouldn't be that easy… “Don't go.”

“I have to. It'll be okay. I swear.” He tugs me back so that I'm sitting on the bed, fingers curling into my nightshirt, not letting me go. “Dude, seriously. I have to go. Daddy said now.”

With a clearly aggravated sigh, he pushes me towards the door and then curls away from me, pulling the covers up over his head. “Idiot,” he mutters. 

Yeah, I'm an idiot. I know. Or maybe he was talking about Daddy? So I quickly head to Daddy's room, shutting the door before crawling into bed with him. “Baby, you're perfect,” he whispers, already trying to pull my shirt off, but I squirm away. “Just let me do this…” He knows we have company and if said company finds out about this, we're fucked, so lets hope he controls himself and keeps it light. “You're not disgusting.” Am so. You made me disgusting. My body is so awful… who could ever be attracted to that? To scars and marks? To someone so used up… Only him. “I love you so much, Karma. You know I worry because I love you. Anyone would be lucky to have you, but they never will because you're mine.” He's been drinking a bit… that's for sure. “Just a quickie?”

No. Please not right now. Not when I'm so like this. Not with my crush is three doors away. Not when my back is so sore. Not when you fucked me raw three days ago. “Daddy, I really don't know if—” Not taking no for an answer, he pushes me down on my back, all but ripping my pjs off before lubing himself up and diving right in. No prep on my end. Can't control the yelp that escapes my lips and I quickly cover my mouth as I silently cry because fuck that hurt! Even though we've done this more times than I can count, it still fucking hurts; getting fucked in the ass always requires prep if you want to be able to walk straight the next day. 

My pleas fall on deaf, uncaring ears. He doesn't give a shit… he just goes in deeper. Harder. It hurts. Daddy, it hurts so bad. The headboard starts hitting the wall and I panic. “Da—Tadaomi, qu-quiet!” I whack his chest and he stops, pulling out and then tossing me onto the floor. Won't have to worry about the bed that way, I guess. He pushes my face into the ground and holds my ass up. It hurts. I just block it out, thinking of Gakushuu because I don't want Daddy right now… he scares me. He hurts so bad. Gakushuu is nice… and gorgeous… and he actually cares about me now. His big violet eyes are pretty, and I bet he'd be gentle with me… gentler than this. Gakushuu. Just the thought of him makes me all worked up and tingly. Sweet, gentle caresses… hushed whispers… beautiful body caging me in and making me feel amazing rather than pain. 

For the first time in months, I come before Tadaomi. Hard; without even being touched. My vision goes completely white and I nearly scream out in ecstasy because that one felt so fucking good thanks to Gakushuu. But Daddy doesn't seem to care and just keeps going until he's finally spent. Then he kisses my head, pulls away, and tells me to clean up the mess before coming back to bed. “What about—”

“Right… go back there. If I find out he touched you I will kill you.” He swats my ass way harder than necessary and then goes to bed. 

His gruff, annoyed voice brings me back to reality and I feel kind of guilty for using Gakushuu like that, but I really needed to. Tonight just wasn't a good night. “Yes Daddy…” I whisper, fighting back tears as I clean up the mess the best I can with the help of the moonlight. Then I limp out into the hall and to the master bathroom, cleaning myself up and waiting until I can at least walk somewhat normally before going back to my room. 

As soon as I hit the bed, Gakushuu speaks. “You okay? You were gone for a while.” When I don't answer, he sits up and shakes me. “Hey, Karma?”

“Sleepy…” Exhausted. Drained. Let me sleep. 

Sighing, he lays back down. “Tell me in the morning then. Good night.”

“Night, love you,” I say without thinking and then completely shut down. Too tired to correct it. Hopefully he didn't take that seriously. It was a habit. Yeah, he probably knows that. Sleepy. 

 

**Gakushuu**

The second Karma is for sure gone, I let out my breath and quietly head for the bathroom… I didn't want him to go, but he did, which means I can finally relieve myself. Thankfully it was my back that landed on his legs earlier, so he couldn't have felt it when I was pulled on top of him; still, that was too close for comfort. This hard on has been here since we laid down and it's been really difficult to maintain my composure; it refuses to go down and I don't know why. Usually they leave once I start thinking about boner-killers but not this time. It's weird. 

Wait… does this mean I'm attracted to Karma? I mean, he's good looking, surprisingly funny and charming, and there's something about him that makes me feel weird. Can an infatuation really last this long? It's been half a year almost… shouldn't I be over this by now? Besides, he's a male! Yeah, this is just one of those stubborn ones that just won't go away and needs to be taken care of. It's not because of Karma at all. Nope. I'm not gay. I don't like other guys. I don't like anyone. Karma Akabane is my friend and that's it. 

Pajama bottoms down and erection over the toilet, I go to get it over with the way I know how. Of course I masturbate; there's nothing wrong with that. It's just hormones, completely normal for guys my age. Nothing to do with Kar— “Mmph,” a low, uncontrollable groan makes its way out of my mouth and I'd feel embarrassed, but it feels too good for me to care at the moment. Why does it suddenly feel so amazing? Usually it's not all that enjoyable, just something I have to take care of, but this time? “Oh gosh…” My knees buckle beneath me and I'm forced down into a kneeling position. Why won't it just come out already!? It's usually quicker than this, at least it feels quicker... doesn't drag on like this. Far less enjoyable, too. Ugh. 

Dammit, I need to hurry before Karma comes ba—Karma. My mind suddenly supplies me with beautiful images: red hair splayed out, piercing golden eyes looking up at me with need, fully naked beneath me, panting, begging me to go harder. “F… fuck…!” I climax hard, all over his toilet and floor. Oops. But I'll think about it later because oh my good god I see stars. My entire vision blacks out and all I can imagine is Karma panting as I ride it out inside of him. 

Oh God… Am I…? No. No, this was a mistake. I don't have feelings for Karma. He's my friend, and you don't have those types of feelings for your friend. Especially when he doesn't like romance. It's obvious. He hates getting close to people and anyone who's had interest him either got shot down—Rio and Manami—or gave up—Yuuma, some girls in B class, and probably other unimportant students. People find him attractive, because he is good looking despite what I've said in the past, but… everyone assumed he was after Manami because they're so close. And then the last few months, he'd changed: he was jumpy, irritable, and panicked all the time, so no one wanted to mess with that. But they were all right back up on him when he was back to normal. It was irritating to me, but I never really knew why.

Crap, Karma is my first friend and I can't screw this up by having feelings for him! I'll have to squish whatever these feelings are down until they go away. For now, we both need friends, not a relationship. Not that I'm gay. Or that I would date Karma. But I don't not want to date Karma. Wait no, I can't want to date Karma because I'm not gay! And Tadaomi would kill me! Okay, it's settled: I don't like Karma in a romantic sense and I wouldn't date him ever. Case solved. Settled. Done. 

When I get to my feet, my legs feel weak… oh my Lord, I have never experienced an orgasm so… amazing. But enough about that because I already decided I was done with even thinking about liking Karma. Because I don't. Not in a romantic sense. Because I'm not gay. And Karma is my friend. And a boy. Why was Karma brought up again? No idea. After pulling up my pants and cleaning up my mess, I quickly go back to bed because Karma could come back soon and I don't want him to know I was in here. Wonder what Tadaomi is doing to him… Hopefully nothing too bad because he's been through enough today. His back has to hurt… I know what that feels like, and the pain doesn't go away. It's always there when you're sitting or standing or lying down. Lying on your stomach helps, but that ache is still there to remind you what you'd been through, sometimes even weeks after it happened. 

Come on, Karma. How long has he been gone? I don't even know… I was in the bathroom for like fifteen or twenty minutes so what is he doing? Whatever. I will just have to wait up for him. Even though I'm tired as hell, I'll wait. Maybe ten minutes later I hear a toilet flush, which means Karma should be coming. Sure enough, he walks in a few minutes later, sniffling and trying to be quiet so he won't wake me. But I'm awake… so as soon as he lays down I ask him if he's okay. “You okay? You were gone for a while.” But he's not talking, probably not willing to tell me, but if he's not okay I need to know. “Hey, Karma?” 

He's quiet for a second, but then speaks with an almost broken voice. “Sleepy…” 

And he does sound pretty exhausted, so… maybe I should let him sleep. Who knows what he was just put through and if he's too tired right now then so be it. “Tell me in the morning, then. Good night.”

“Night, love you,” he mutters softly and then must conk out because he doesn't correct himself. 

Surely he didn't mean that… no, he was just disoriented and confused and… “Karma?” No answer. Why did he say he loves me? I don't think he meant it or realized what he said, but what if he did!? This is just like the bathroom all over again. Dammit. No, of course he doesn't mean it because he barely knows me. We're friends. He said we were just friends. Not to mention he said there was no way I would ever have a crush on him, and he would know… right? And clearly he doesn't have a crush on me… after everything my father and I have done to him, why would he? Previously he's said I was attractive, but I doubt he meant that in a 'so I have a crush on you' way. Yeah… so we're just friends. That's it. 

But… why does that make my chest hurt? Whatever. I'm concussed and tired and I just need to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up this weekend sometime? It’s not a fun one. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. Thank you for reading, and leaving kudos/comments.


	20. Why Can't I Hate Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen... and then a kinda good thing happens.
> 
> Gakushuu POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite being incredibly tired, I cannot sleep. Might as well update, right? There’s this song stuck in my head and it won’t get out. Ugh.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Every night I've stayed with Karma, he's left at some point to be with Tadaomi. Usually he’s okay for the most part, just a little banged up or crying upon his return, which is when he usually wants to just be close and not talk for a while. Sometimes he comes back disoriented and cut up on his belly and back, so I treat the wounds he can't get to. As much as I hate to admit it, there is an upside to it: he's shirtless. God, he is glorious without a shirt on; his muscles are so defined. But right now is no time to think about my best friend shirtless. Karma has been gone for two hours now; he left while I was supposed to be sleeping because it was like one in the morning, but I couldn't sleep at all. Horrible thoughts of Karma crying and screaming, suffering all alone, plagued my mind, but I have not heard a peep out of either one of them. Which is disconcerting; I've been worried all night, even before Karma left, because Tadaomi had been drinking so much, which is apparently when he treats Karma really badly, and I was right to be. 

Downstairs I finally hear _something_ other than silence; odd bangs and then a door shutting. Now I hear them talking, so I get closer to the door and just barely manage to catch Karma speaking so, so softly. “I'm sorry, Daddy. I love you.” Tadaomi just left the house, slamming the door so loud that Karma yelped. I darted out as soon as Karma called for me, who literally dragged himself to the stairs, trying to get up them; he's full out bawling and keeps flinching away when I try to touch him. There are no external wounds that I can see because it's dark and Karma refuses to to let me check anything out, which has me extremely worried. His hair is definitely wet, but I don't know what it is. “Karma, what happened?”

“I want to die. I hate this. Gakushuu… why can't I hate him?” I blink at him, just watching as he breaks down. We've grown closer over the week, bonding and such over things like our unfortunate abuse. It's really nice to have someone I can talk to about this… and he feels the same way. Being able to talk about things and not feel forced to bottle it up is like a huge, crippling weight off of our shoulders. Now that we have each other, life has become a little brighter for the both of us. To think I hated him at first… I was too quick to judge. Too self absorbed and arrogant to give him a chance. Granted he is the only person I feel is worthy of me as a friend, so I haven't really changed, he's just proved himself to me. And I have an unfortunate soft spot for him. He's been really grateful to have me around because apparently Tadaomi has been easier on him so I don't find out. And the man still doesn't think I know, but how could I not? Seriously. Is he dense? How would I not know? Or maybe he just doesn't care. I wouldn't know because the two of us tend to avoid each other. 

That last part of what he said is confusing. “What do you mean 'why can't you hate him'?”

I try to help him up but he flinches away from my touch. “I _mean_ ,” he snarls, punching the ground angrily, “Why the fuck can't I hate him!? After everything I still fucking love him and don't want to lose him. It won't change! It can't! Gakushuu, when you leave, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do!” He's in hysterics now, nearly screaming. “I love him so much and it fucking hurts. Love _hurts_. Why am I so fucked up!? This isn't fucking fair!! What did I do that was so wrong!?”

When I turn on the lights, he whimpers a little and I can clearly tell how much pain he's in just by looking at him. There is glass in his hair, his shirt is ripped and bloody, he's littered with cuts, and has laceration marks on his wrists. “Karma…” I try to come off as non threatening, but he cowers away anyway. This isn't okay. I don't want Karma to feel like this because of Tadaomi. Tadaomi isn't allowed to make Karma look or act this way. He's already fully backed into the stairs, hyperventilating and pulling at his hair. So I get on my knees to seem as small as possible—because he's clearly in a weird thing right now and I need to be as careful with him as possible—crawling over to where he's curled up and in an extreme amount of pain. “Karma, you need to calm down.” Clearly he is in the midst of having a mental breakdown and I've never dealt with one before… I have no idea know what to do in order to help him. “Tell me what he did so I can help, Karma.”

“H-He… got d-drunk… h-he hurt me.” That's too vague and he knows it. “S-Said we w-were flirting t-too much w-with each other and… oh my fuck!” His entire body convulses, and now it looks like he's in even more pain now that he's all tensed up. Oh God… so this is my fault? This is not what I expected him to do just because I tried flirting a bit. This last week or so I've kind of realized that maybe I do feel _something_ towards Karma, but if this is what happens to him then I probably shouldn't continue exploring and trying to figure out what exactly it is that we have. “He… He…” It must've been really bad because he's not looking any closer to telling me. “He said I was like M-Mommy. Called me a whore. He… G-Gakushuu it h-hurts.” Finally he lifts his shirt up: I see it right away. His fucking ribs are insanely bruised and one of them looks like it's literally about to break the skin. There are fucking glass shards lodged into his skin, multiple bleeding lashes down his entire back and to his butt, and there's a large fucking _glass shard_ from a whiskey bottle sticking halfway into his thigh, adding to the mess of blood already dripping down his back, staining his pale skin red.

How the hell did I not hear this go on!? Is the basement fucking soundproof or was Karma gagged!? “That fucking bastard!!” Shit, I don't know how to handle this. This is insane. “If you can't hate him after this, then you are severely fucked up in the head, Karma!” Then I snap my mouth shut because that was most definitely not the right thing to say at this very moment. He just screams… not words, just like, out of anger. Okay… okay, I can't handle this on my own and there's only one person I know who probably knows what to do. So I pull out my phone and call my father. He's the only one who knows how to deal with things like this. 

At this point, Karma doesn't even care because he's in hysterics after just fucking ripping the glass shard out of his leg; not only did he make it bleed more, but sliced open his hand. Oh, come to find out he's pretty sure his shoulder has been dislocated and _that_ is why he's screaming. Fuck. I know I don't normally swear. But _fuck_. Father hardly sleeps, so he obviously answers right away and the second he hears Karma bawling he says he'll be right over. 

I try to go open the door, but Karma doesn't let me leave, repeatedly and desperately pleading for me to get it off because it hurts, but I have no idea what he's talking about. Finally he puts my hand to his crotch and I realize that he's been caged. That man is fucking _insane_! Why does it matter if Karma is in a relationship!? What does that have to do with him!? Is he really so insecure that he thinks Karma is going to leave like his mom did!? That's stupid! Oh yes, Karma has told me all about his mommy and how much the two of them fucked him up… even though he didn’t say a lot, it was sort of implied that she just _let_ her child take the abuse for her and left them alone a lot; like she didn’t even care! To be frank, she sounds like a pathetic bitch, and Tadaomi is evil. God, I hate him. While trying, and failing, to get the cage off for what seems like forever, there's banging on the front door and I break away from Karma to open it, while he moans in pain and pleads for me to come back. 

Father rushes inside and gets straight to work, not even sparing me a second glance. It still makes me jealous that he seems to like Karma more than me, but I take a deep breath and get over it for now because there are more important things to worry about. Karma screams for me to come as well; puffy golden eyes pleading and desperate as he reaches out for me. But Father doesn’t let me, which is understandable since my presence would just be a distraction, but that doesn’t make the cries for me hurt any less. God… I hope Karma is going to be okay. 

xx

There was so much crying and growling and whimpering amongst other pained, stomach churning and spine chilling noises from Karma that I almost had to go outside. It was painful to hear, especially when it was my name being cried out. It took about an hour and a half, but my father finally comes to get me from the living room, where I am a ball of anxiety and stress because this is the first time I've ever had someone who I genuinely care about and I'm worried about him because he refuses to go to the hospital; what if one of his ribs broke and punctured something, or if he’s internally bleeding!? This guy is going to be the death of me, I swear. Father tells me not to let him get up or allow Tadaomi near him and to call him if he shows up before leading me back up the stairs and telling me where to ice and what to do. Karma is completely conked out, and I don't think it's from exhaustion… Father may have slipped him something for the pain that knocked him out. Which is probably for the best. 

This is the first time I've seen my father since the whole punching incident and I must admit that it's awkward and I definitely don't miss home. But I do hate it here because Karma is in danger for pretty much no reason other than that Tadaomi is possessive and psychotic. My dad has access to prescription pills because… well I don't really know how or why, but he does and gives me instructions on when and why to give them to Karma. So I'm stuck on nurse duty, which I don't mind, but I'm really tired and I don't know how I'm going to sleep after all of this. 

Once everything is set and explained, and he makes sure Karma is alright again, he leaves. Not once did he touch me, which is weird, but I'm thankful for it because I'm still angry with him for what he did. So now I'm sitting next to Karma on his bed, just the light from the lamp shining in through the black sheets to give a sort of dim lighting. His face is kind of swollen, and he has a black eye and busted lip; all the glass from the alcohol bottles was tediously removed from his body; almost his entire torso is now wrapped and treated with something to help the lashes; there are small cuts all over his hands and arms; his leg required stitches; his ribs are bruised beneath the bandaging, three of them are most likely cracked, and Father said a few more may be bent or bruised, but those heal on their own thankfully; his shoulder is bruised and now back in place; his ankle is swollen, Father said it's likely a sprain but to keep an eye on it; and thankfully my father managed to remove the cage without having the key. All in all, Karma won't be able to move for a while and I'm here to stop him if he tries. 

God, what possesses someone to hurt their child to this extent? Let's think back to why this started… we were flirting a little bit. At least, I was; Karma might have just playing around. Tadaomi doesn't want Karma to date anyone… or have sex… or even be friends with people. Mainly Manami and Rio, but me as well… and Yuuma, and Hiroto. Is he really scared that Karma is going to fall in love and just up and leave him like his mom? Wait a second… is Tadaomi homophobic? Is that why he gets so upset? Because Karma likes the same sex and he finds him disgusting? Is this his way of breaking him? Conditioning him into not liking males? But then he'd make him have sex with females or whatever… or maybe he just wants Karma to stay chaste and single forever. Since Karma likes guys, maybe Tadaomi would rather him be caged up at home so he can't even use girls to think about guys. Either way, his stance on Karma and dating is clear as day. If I'm right on this, that's disgusting and Tadaomi is a piece of shit that should die. 

Ugh… I don't want to think about this anymore. Since it's dark and late, I feel my eyes getting droopy and end up having to lay down before falling asleep. Karma will be fine… hopefully. 

…

What feels like a few minutes later—it had to be much longer than that because it's bright outside now—I jolt awake due to Karma poking my nose, and he giggles—yes, _giggles_ —at me. Oh yeah… the drugs probably made him loopy. “Hi~” he beams, reaching down and grabbing my hand, carefully intertwining our fingers. It's like he doesn't even realize he's hurt yet. Then again, he's on some pretty strong pain meds so it's not all that surprising. “How're you Shuu?” 

Shuu? Damn, it's been a long time since anyone's called me that. “I'm okay. How are you, Karma?”

He shrugs, and then makes this adorable cry face. How is it that he can be so cute at times? “Did'ja stab my shoulder? Owwie!” He pouts and tries to touch it, but I stop him. “I gotta help it…” He grumbles at me, trying to fight my hold, only to put himself in more pain. 

“Karma, Tadaomi hurt you earlier. Do you not remember that?” He shrugs again before letting out a whine. “Stop doing that.” Obeying, he just lays there, motionless. “You okay?”

Silence falls between us before finally he processes my earlier sentence. “Daddy hurted me?” I nod and he starts crying again, softly and trying to hide it. “Why'd he do dat? Jus 'cause I like you. S'lame.” So it is my fault… “Don't look so sad!” He cups my cheeks and then squishes them together, making him giggle again, which is uncharacteristically endearing. “You're hot.” Can't help but blush at this because usually people are pretty honest on this stuff and I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. “Pretty eyes…” Biting my lip, I try to look away but then find myself being pulled down so that I'm right in his face. Ha, if anyone has pretty eyes it's him. Pools of amber flecked with so many shades of gold and red; long, dark eyelashes. They're beautiful. His scleras are bloodshot and his face is swollen a bit, not to mention he has a black eye… but he makes my heart pound all the same.

My breath catches in my throat for some reason as our eyes lock in on each other, heart speeding up and unsure of how to react. Those beautiful orbs glance down for a moment before looking back up and fluttering shut. Next thing I know he's kissing me and I don't stop it. Holy crap… Karma Akabane is my first kiss. Our lips aren't really meshing properly since his are a bit dry, so he pulls away and licks them before coming back in for more. Damn, he's really good at this, meanwhile I have no idea what I'm doing. His tongue almost expertly coerces my lips open and pushes inside, roaming around my mouth like it's looking for something. This is weird, but it's nice… I like it. He feels… warm. Right. His teeth latch onto my bottom lip and I accidentally moan. Embarrassed, I try to pull away, but his good arm (left) wraps around me and makes me stay… not that I really mind. He probably won't remember this anyway. 

Since he won't remember this, I decide to experiment a bit, moving my hand up to his neck before gently running my fingers through his shaggy red hair. He must like it because he leans into my touch and hums softly. Suddenly his hand drops from my waist and grabs my other hand, moving it to his bottom. Oh no… is this going too far? Should I stop? What if he gets mad when he's more himself? But he sucks me back in, deepening our kiss and cupping my cheek, pulling me in and making my heart race. I never knew how wonderful things like this could be… Since he moved my hand, I give him a light squeeze and he moans softly, making my dick twitch in my pants, before pulling away. Holy hell. “Do you wike me Shuu?”

“Very much so,” I mutter, averting my eyes even though I'm still pretty close to his face. He giggles, pressing a wet, sloppy kiss to my cheek before closing his eyes. “You tired again?” He nods. So I pull away from him, but he brings me back, making me hold him around his waist, hand tightly holding my own. And if I'm being honest, I definitely don't hate this. I actually really like this. It's warm. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. With him, I almost feel… safe. Dare I say happy. And I'll protect him from Tadaomi, because from this point forward, Karma Akabane is my responsibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karma's POV next time... Hopefully the POV switches don't bother anyone. I feel like first person POV usually turns people away, but it’s just easier for me to get into the characters' heads that way. A lot of future chapters are in third person, though. Usually just depends.
> 
> The next few chapters are shorter, so I’ll try to update sooner. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. My eyes are tired. As always, thanks for reading and leaving comments/kudos. It's appreciated.


	21. Glad we Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just Karma and Shuu being dorks. Plus some angst and sappy moments.
> 
> Karma's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I never know what to put in the summary box. It takes me forever. Anyway, I thought this was shorter than it actually was, so I was gonna combine it with the next chapter, but then it would have been too long and there would have been a POV change so I just left it as is. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

Ugh… I'm so sore and I can barely move. My ribs are fucking killing me. Not to mention I'm on so many drugs that I can barely think straight. But I'm glad for them because without them I would be miserable. So thanks Gakuhou! It's kind of nerve wracking to know that he knows for sure now… though I can always play it off as a one time thing. Then again, the Asano's are way too smart for their own good so I doubt they'd believe that. This could be problematic. All this negative thinking hurts my head… 

“Shuuuuuu~” I whine loudly and he gets up from my desk, poking his head through my bed curtains to try and keep as much light out as possible. To think he could be so considerate… man, I've got it so bad for him. Too bad I can't act on my feelings unless I want this to happen again. Daddy was so pissed when I started becoming more flirty and playful with Gakushuu. But it's not like he likes me in a romantic sense, and it's insanely fun to tease him, so I didn't think there was any harm in it. Looks like Karma was wrong because Daddy flipped his fucking lid. “My head huwts,” I pout at him. Since he's been taking care of me, I've been trying to make him do as much work as possible because I'm still a bit perturbed at him for calling his dad over and nearly ruining my life. Plus, I secretly kind of like being babied by him… it's a good feeling. Daddy hasn't been home since three days ago I think it was? According to Gakushuu, he came by and picked up his clothes and work stuff before storming out of the house without even checking on me. Even still, I'm worried about him, but he's probably okay… the police haven't been here either, so that's a good sign.

“Do you need something for it?” He hasn't been making eye contact with me and I don't know why. Seriously, he's like avoiding me for no reason. It's annoying as fuck. “Well do you need something for your headache or not?” I simply glare at him and he looks far from amused. “Karma, what do you want!?”

“Meanie,” I grumble and try to turn away from him, but he grabs me. Finally he makes some sort of physical fucking interaction with me. Do I really have to intentionally try to hurt myself just to get him to care? Geez. “Stop treating me like a child. I'm fine.”

“You're not fine.” Then, as if to prove his point, he barely pokes my rib, forcing a strangled growl that I can't hold back. Fuck, that hurt. He literally chose the one that hurts the most; it's still sticking out. “I'm not supposed to give you too much of the strong pain meds… let's see when you took it last.” He walks over to my desk and looks at what must be a medication log to keep track of all the shit I've had to take. Does he have to be so perfect at everything? When he walks back over, all of his words sound muffled; incoherent. I'm just… I don't know. “Karma? Do you want an ice pack or not? Are you al—”

“I don't need it!” I say finally, rolling my eyes at him. “I just want you to…!” What do I want him to do? Why am I suddenly so clingy with him? What the fuck is wrong with me? “Just go away, Gakushuu.”

“You're mad?” No! Yes… I don't fucking know. “Karma, what did I do?” Isn't it obvious!? Clearly the only thing different is that he's actively avoiding me outside of giving me my medication and making sure I'm not dying… he's a smart boy, shouldn't he be able to figure it out? But he just continues to stare at me with this confused look on his face that makes him look super adorable and I groan. Pillow town, here I come. “No, get it off.” He attempts to yank the pillow from my hands, which is easier than he must've thought because he goes flying back when I release it without much fight—took me so off guard that I fucking snorted. My fucking shoulder was dislocated, so why the fuck would I hold onto it? Not even why, but _how_? Oh Gakushuu, you silly boy. “Shit!” Ha, I love it when he curses. To think he could have such a potty mouth… it makes me happy. “I mean, shoot.” He's scared he's going to get used to it and slip up in front of his dad, which I totally get, but like… it's a word. What's the big deal?

Because I'm not totally heartless, I make sure he's alright. “You good?”

And he laughs, “If I couldn't handle falling on my butt, I would have been dead a long time ago.”

“Touché.” He laughs before getting up, handing me my pillow back with that adorably charming smile on his face. “Thank you.” And then it's right back over my face because I'm blushing. 

Surprisingly enough, he leaves me be. “So you don't need anything?” I shake my head. “So you just wanted to annoy me?” I shake my head again because no, my initial intention was not to annoy him per se, I just wanted attention… it's boring and he's ignoring me. “You really shouldn't have that on your face. What if you suffocate?”

That's it! Annoyed, I rip it off of my head and roll my eyes. “Because I'm going to suffocate myself. Sorry, I forgot I was a fucking moron who doesn't know when he needs to breathe.”

“Well I'm glad I reminded you,” he grins teasingly, walking back to my desk with a bit of sass. God he's cute. But I can't think he's cute anymore… I've gotta stop. Otherwise I will legit be locked up for the rest of my life. “Please let me know when you actually need something. I'm at a really interesting part in this book.”

Laughing, I peek out to see what he's reading. Some book in another language that I don't know. “Nerd,” I cough behind my hand before hiding back in my little nest. 

“Pig,” he mocks my earlier snort and I throw my pillow at him with my good arm; that really hurt my ribs but the reaction I got was worth it. He nearly fell out of the chair and dropped his book. “If you were not already hurt, I would throw this. But because I'm a good person, I will simply keep it here with me. Wouldn't want you suffoca—” I chuck another pillow at him and he growls. “That's it…!” Oh shit! He marches over and holds the pillow over my face, and I run out of air fairly quickly because I'm laughing so hard and it hurts so bad but I can't stop. “Had enough!?” Just to scare him a bit, I continue to struggle without tapping out and then I pretend to gasp for air, which then actually turns into a panic attack because I actually can't breathe, but then I manage to get it under control and pretend to be dead. Gakushuu must not believe me because he's still holding it there. “Tap out.”

Good thing I'm a fairly good actor thanks to Daddy… sometimes I pretend to be asleep so he won't do anything. Sometimes it works and he goes away, other times he just goes for it anyway… usually I try to stay 'asleep' but sometimes I 'wake up' because it hurts too bad and I have to try to stop him. Keyword 'try' because it almost never works. Just because I'm asleep doesn't mean he can be so rough! Like damn. Anyway, so Gakushuu isn't lightening up… but he might if I do this long enough. Actually, I'm getting kind of sleepy. Maybe I should just— “Shit, Karma are you okay!?” He starts muttering under his breath and panicking because he thinks he just suffocated me. Damn, I'm good!

The pillow is lifted off of my face and when I peek my eye open, it looks like he's ready to try and give me mouth to mouth. And I let him because why not? His lips are so soft… shit, this feels weird! So he'll stop blowing, I grab his neck and start kissing him… and it works. For a few seconds, at least. And I took every bit of those few seconds and made it wonderful. Pulled him on top of me and everything. “Karma!” I smirk at him and he pulls away. “That's fucked up. I thought you were hurt.”

“I was… my limbs went kind of numb there for a second and it was hard to breathe. I think that kiss was payment enough,” I wink at him, trying to keep calm because he's still straddling me and I just fucking kissed him. Oh God… I'll bet he's mad. Shit. 

“You're just drugged up… it didn't mean anything.” Then he mutters to himself, “Just like the last one…” Oh shit, I've kissed him before. Maybe that's why he's been avoiding me? Oops. How could I not remember my first kiss with Gakushuu Asano!? This is so unfair. Get to kiss my crush and I don't remember, so he thinks it's just because I'm on drugs. Fuck. 

No… maybe it's for the best if he thinks it's the drugs. He's way better off without me and he's not gay and he could literally get anyone he wants… it's best to just end this fantasy here. So… if it's 'just the drugs' then I'll make it memorable for both of us. Even if he'll hate it… I'll treasure it because Gakushuu is actually a really good guy when he's not all pretentious and shit. “I guess you're right…” So I pull him back down by his neck and kiss him… hard. Best kiss ever and he barely knows what the fuck he's doing. Surprisingly enough, he kisses me back for a bit before shaking his head and getting off of me, muttering something about this being wrong. Apologizing would be best… but I don't want to. I'm not sorry. 

“Go to sleep, Karma. You're out of your right mind.” To save myself the embarrassment and tears, I obey without question. Not to mention his tone had a finality in it that definitely made me not want to disobey. Can't cross Gakushuu. Can't make him mad. Just go to sleep, Karma… like he said. 

xx

It's dark outside. And inside. Gakushuu is sleeping on the floor in his little makeshift bed made from blankets and pillows since we don't own an air mattress or futon, just like he has been every damn night since we kissed. It's annoying, yet also a little nice because just being in the same bed as him makes me hard. My mind goes to places it shouldn't and I can't stop it. Hell, the thought of it makes my dick spring to life, even with all the pain I'm in. Shit. Teenage hormones are something fierce. It's been like a week since the incident, and Gakushuu is the only thing that has made it tolerable. Currently it is two in the morning and I can't sleep. It hurts. Everything hurts. And now I'm horny to top it all off and there's nothing I can do about it. Why? Why does Gakushuu make me feel these things? No one else has ever made me feel these things… so why him? Sure Daddy makes me feel some type of way, but this… this is different. 

Before I can think much more into that thought train, my phone buzzes. 

**Daddy**  
I'll be home in the afternoon. That little Asano prick had better be gone by the time I'm there or so help me god I will lose it. His dad thought it would be okay to threaten me. Says I'm possessive and psychotic and that I 'need professional help' or whatever. But I know things just like he does, Karma. I'm not stupid. I can threaten him too. We were both sloppy, but he's not about to lose his son over this. So neither am I. You're mine and you always will be. It's about time you figure that out. 

**Karma**  
Yes Daddy.

After that he doesn't text back and I just cry to myself… I don't want Gakushuu to go yet. He'd be leaving soon anyway because he has some stupid academic camp to go to, but I thought I had more time with him. Even if being just friends isn't ideal, I'm fine with it and I want him to stay. But he can't. Bad things will happen if he does, and I wouldn't put it past Daddy to hurt him, too. Keeping Gakushuu safe from harm is my main priority, and disobeying Daddy is far too dangerous for both of us; so long as he's safe, I don't care what happens to me. “Gakushuu…” I try to wake him up without getting out of bed. It's silent, so I try again. “Gakushuu!” A little louder this time. “Shuu, please,” my voice cracks at the end, a broken sob forces its way out. 

Sounds like he's waking up. “Karma?” He murmurs finally, moving around and sitting up. “You need to use the bathroom again?” Bathroom time has not been fun, especially not when it's to shower… not only is it painful, boy it's so awkward and embarrassing. The curtains move and I see his face illuminated by the little bit of light creeping in from outside… his beautiful, tired face. God he's hot when he wakes up. “Are you okay? What's wrong?” I hand him my phone and he skims over it with squinted eyes, obviously not quite used to the light yet given how dark it is in here. “If I leave I'm taking you with me.”

That won't work; I can't leave Daddy all alone. Not now and not ever. We love each other, and sometimes you must sacrifice for those you love so dearly—even your own happiness. As much as I want Gakushuu to stay, it just can't happen… not if I want my relationship with Daddy to be okay, and especially not if I want to be able to see Gakushuu again. “No… it's better to just go. You have your camp in a few days anyway.”

“Karma… you are far too injured to—”

“Daddy will be alright. If you aren't here, and he has time to settle down for the summer, I swear to you that I'll be back at school for our junior year.”

He sighs, “What if I want to see you over the summer?”

What if he… wants to see me? Shit, he actually wants to see me!? After everything, he still wants to be in my life… that's so relieving. I guess friendship isn't always superficial and fake when it comes to him. God, this makes me so happy. Even though he just wants to be friends, I'll take what I can get. “Then I can make time… trust me, I know how to get my way when I really want to.” Guess that just kind of implies that I deal with this when I could probably stop it… but he does the same thing so it's really not that strange. Sure he doesn't use the same methods I do, but if Gakushuu really wanted something, he could and would find a way. 

“I'll be back… early July? So kiss all the ass you need to beforehand~” He's teasing, but he has no idea how close to the truth he actually is. “Well… I guess I will be out of your hair in the morning.” His smile is almost sad… 

“Wake me up when you go.” He nods, about to turn away, when I grab his wrist. “I need more medicine.” So he checks his little thingy and gives me the proper dose before trying to leave me again. “Wait… I have to pee.” Sighing, he helps me up and we go through our normal routine. This is the last time he's going to be in such an awkward situation like this… and as awful as it is, I think I'm going to miss it. “Thank you, Gakushuu,” I say as I put my dick away and flush. “For being here. Having a friend to vent to has really helped me. Way more than you know.” Beforehand I was miserable, but now…? It's not so bad. Sure this particular injury is terrible, but with Gakushuu by my side both before and after, I feel stronger. Like I can maybe stand up to Daddy, whereas doing such a thing seemed impossible before he came into my life. 

He rolls his eyes, but smiles at me. “Those drugs must be messing with your head again; you're actually being kind of sweet.”

It's not the drugs, I literally just took them like ten minutes ago, and I think he knows that. “I guess so.” He helps me to the sink so I can wash my hands. “Drugs make me sappy.”

For a moment, we just stare at each other in the mirror, both shirtless and in pajama pants. He is significantly less scarred than me, but there's enough damage that it hurts my heart. Poor Gakushuu. “If you repeat this to anyone I'll deny it, but… it's actually been really nice having a friend like you. I'm glad we met, Karma.”

Aww! My face contorts into this really weird expression of genuine heartfelt happiness and awe before I wrap my arms around his neck; I kind of feel like crying. Maybe it's the drugs, maybe it's not… all I know is that it makes me very happy to hear him say this. “I'm glad, too, Gakushuu.” 

His arms wrap around me gently, returning the sappy embrace, and he sighs, seemingly content. Mm, it feels nice being in his arms. Warm. Right. “If you need anything while I'm gone, text me. Or even call my father. Please don't let Tadaomi make this worse.”

So… this means he's worried about me? How sweet! “I'll text you even when I don't need anything, just to annoy you.”

“Please don't.”

“My mind has been made up. And if you block me, I'll drive to your camp and crash it.”

“Devil…” I merely grin in response before we both head back to bed. Again, we're silent so we can sleep, and I'm about to fall into the depths of darkness, but his voice startles me back awake. “Annoy me to your heart's content, Karma. Just know that two can play at that game.”

A smile creeps up to my face and it won't go away. “Challenge accepted.”

“Good night, Karma.”

“Good night, Gakushuu.” Silence surrounds us and I weave in and out of consciousness… but I can't sleep. These shadow things are scaring me. Why are there so many shadows? They're terrifying! “Gakushuu,” I whisper with an urgency that he responds to immediately, he's by my side within seconds. “Do you see all the shadows?” 

He just kind of stares at me, “Karma, there's barely any light shining in here. You…” He sighs, “I think hallucinations are a side effect. Just go to sleep. They're not real.”

When he tries to leave I grab his wrist. “Please stay… please.” Though hesitant, he nods, climbing over me and into bed… too far away. “Shuu, they're still here.” I try to hide under the covers, but it hurts… and then I start crying because one of them just touched me and it's freaking me the fuck out. “Shuu, please! I'm scared.” 

Sighing, his body moves closer to mine and he grabs ahold of my hand. “Better?” I shake my head… I want more. So he scoots even closer, so that we're shoulder to shoulder… it's my bad shoulder, but I don't care. “Good?” Even though it hurts, I roll over and hug him… close is good. Close is safe. “Karma…!”

“Scawy…” I mumble into his shoulder. 

“Then I will hold you. Please lie on your back so you don't hurt your ribs or shoulder.” Yay! I roll over and he wraps his arm around my waist, holding me carefully as he kind of curls into my body. “Better?”

Can't hold back my smile, not that he can see it. “Better. Night night Shuu.”

“Sleep well, Karma.” I kiss somewhere, dunno where, but he doesn't say anything… he just kind of chuckles before sighing. “Go to sleep, Karma. You're high.”

Doesn't mean that my kisses are meaningless; I really think I like him. More than I should. Shit. I'm in deep, aren't I? No… I have to stop this now. If I do this, Daddy will never let me see him again. Squish down the feelings, Karma. You have to. It's for the best. Just friends is better than nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve hallucinated before. It was terrifying. The next chapter is edited for the most part, so it may be up tomorrow, if not later tonight.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I appreciate it.


	22. Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu leaves and Tadaomi comes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this so far. Got some coffee and finally felt awake enough to finish looking over the chapter. A little shorter this time. 
> 
> The next 4 or 5 chapters (I think?) are going to be a lot of texting and phone calls between the boys. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

**Gakushuu**

In the morning, I wake up with my arm wrapped around Karma… holding him loosely and gently. Guess I held him the whole night through. Best I've slept in quite a while, if I'm being honest. It's almost like he belongs here in my arms… mine alone. No Gakushuu, you can't think that! Shaking my head of all possessive, perverse thoughts, I carefully remove myself from him and get up. Once I'm seated at his desk, I write down everything Karma needs to do, what he needs to take and when, and… say my goodbyes. As much as I want to wake him up, disturbing him so early in the morning seems rude considering he seems really content at the moment. No, I'm not scared to wake him up or sad to say goodbye or anything. Just… I can't help but worry about him. Karma is 16 years old and he's still taking this kind of treatment from his obviously in the wrong 'daddy' or whatever, without fighting back. Without holding any sort of resentment or hatred towards him. And that bothers me. That's why I hate that I'm being kicked out.

Nothing I can do about it now, though. I slip my goodbye note under his pillow and then begin to pack up my things before I receive a message. 

**7:27 a.m.**  
**Father**  
We cannot do anything more, Gakushuu. If you want to be in Karma's life at all, just come home. It is not worth the fight. We will figure something out at a later date. By waiting and playing our cards right, we may be able to save him. Besides, he is a strong young man, and I believe after spending some time with you that he has grown. Let us hope he will fend and stand up for himself.

**Gakushuu**  
I know. I was just about to head out. Had to make sure he knew when to take which pills and all that. Hopefully he won't have too much trouble moving around without me. 

**Father**  
I will pick you up. We can go out for breakfast. 

**Gakushuu**  
Yes sir. See you soon.

Then I look at my red haired friend, all sprawled out in his bed with his messy hair and drool coming out the side of his mouth. Should I really find that as endearing as I do? Seriously, what is wrong with me? Now is not the time to grow soft (or hard, holy shit Gakushuu, calm down!) even if he is my friend, I should remain myself. After all, he accepted me even after I was so callous and rude to him, which means he truly does like me for me. But enough about our friendship, it is time that I take my leave. 

Packing up my things, I take one last look at Karma before feeling a little tug at my heart. Maybe… maybe a little kiss won't hurt. So I creep forward, staring at his vulnerable, beaten body… so serene, yet damaged. When I lean down, I half expect him to wake up… but he doesn't. One kiss to his forehead should be fine; tempting as his lips are, that may actually wake him up. Besides, we're friends… I'm not gay. Flirting with him was fun, but I don't have feelings for him. Hell, I can't have feelings for him. We need friendship, not a relationship… it's better that way. For both of us. Leaving things unresolved like this may sting a bit, but it's better to know that at least this way Karma is safe and I'll still have him as a friend. This way things won't be awkward between us and we can go on as normal. My sexuality will forever be a mystery, and our friendship will flourish nicely. 

So I brush the fiery red strands of hair out of the way and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Gosh, he's so warm. Wait… he may have a fever. Hmm, not good. I'll get a cold washcloth really quick to cool him down. When I come back, he's still lying there as I left him, but shifts a bit when I place the cloth on his forehead; nose crinkling and lips closing. Thankfully he stays asleep. It's a risk, but I lean down and kiss his cheek before grabbing my things and heading out. I know I said I didn't want him to, but I'm looking forward to him bombarding me with texts all summer… 

Karma is the best friend I could have ever asked for. 

**Karma**

The feeling of lips against my own wakes me up, and I half expect it to be Gakushuu, but the black hair and smell of cologne puts that hope to rest. Looks like he didn't wake me up after all… and I don't really know why I expected that he would. After all this, I really do wonder if we'll remain friends. Yeah, I know what he said last night, but that was probably just his way of letting me down easy or something. Only time will tell, I suppose. “Hey Daddy,” I smile, wrapping an arm around his neck. 

“Hey baby,” he sighs, rolling to my side and playing with my hair. “I uh… I really lost it, and I'm sorry baby. I just… the thought of losing you… and…” When he can barely finish his thoughts, that's when I know he genuinely regrets something. It's the first time in months, and I'm grateful for it. “It went too far. I know Gakushuu is dating that little bitch, but it just upset me to see you so close to him and I'm sorry.”

Ugh, well I can't just snub him, so I nod. “I mean, it's not really okay… but I forgive you.” That's all I can give him at this point… can't justify this kind of behavior considering it did almost get us caught, but aside from that, I can't hold it against him. What I did was wrong… and stupid. Flirting in front of him was extremely stupid on my part. With Gakushuu here, I guess I just… felt too safe. Safety was my downfall, ironic as it may seem. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Foggy,” I sniffle a bit, “Gakuhou put me on some pretty strong pain meds.”

He nods, kissing my head, “He said that he did.” What else did he say? “Just so you know, he did threaten me, but I threatened him right back. And word on the street is that he's already in some pretty deep shit, so he's not taking any chances.” Oh… all I do is nod because I don't want to hear that. Hopefully Gakushuu is alright… “We're safe, hon. And I swear to you that I will never act so stupid or selfish again.” Yeah… if only. Things will go back to normal the moment my more severe are better for the most part… something will upset him and this will keep happening. 

By this point in my life, I know an empty promise when I hear one. And this one has been made so many times that I've lost count. Shit won't get better until I do something about it, which I never will. Because Daddy is my everything, and he means more to me than anything else. What he does is okay because he loves me. Besides, making the best of this shitty situation is really all I can do if I don't want to meet an untimely death. So I'll keep living this life and see where it takes me… I can only pray that Gakushuu continues to be a part of it, though. 

To be perfectly honest, Gakushuu is probably the one person who actually makes me want to continue living. So as long as he's by my side, hopefully life won't seem so bad. 

“Do you need anything? It's about 2:15.”

Shit, I was out for a long time. Wonder what happened last night after I went pee. It's too fuzzy. Hopefully I didn't do anything stupid; Gakushuu said I really knew how to make an ass out of myself when I was all loopy. “Um… I think Gakushuu had a log? Knowing him he probably left instructions.” As expected, he left a very detailed chart… and even explicitly stated for Daddy not to hurt me in any way; words are underlined, in all caps, and even bolded to really get his point across. 

“That's cute,” he laughs, “Seems you guys have come a long way since the beginning of the school year.” But I can't really say much of anything… it really is nice to know Gakushuu was brave enough to say that… even after all this. Pretty clear that he cares about me. “But I don't need that little prick telling me that. It's not like I go out of my way to hurt you. I won't get drunk, baby… I really won't. Just please never leave me.” I hold out my arms for him to come and he does so, ducking down and kissing my head. “I really do love you, Karma.”

Yeah… I know. “Love you too, Daddy.” Let's hope things stay civil between us for the rest of the summer. Please. If there is a God… please just let this be a good summer. 

After he gives me my proper medication, he leaves to get me lunch and I'm about to go back to sleep when I hear the sound of crinkling paper under my pillow. Um…? I slowly slide it out and unfold it, smiling when I see what it is. Gakushuu was too scared to wake me up. Man, he has good handwriting!

_Karma,  
Um, I didn't want to wake you up. Remember one time when I tried and you nearly punched me in the face? Don't want a repeat of that incident. You cried. Ha. Anyway, I'm going soon and I just wanted to thank you for the last couple of weeks. Things were really great until Tadaomi decided to get drunk and fuck everything up. Don't tell him I said that. _

_While I'm gone, I hope everything works out for you and he doesn't touch you. Seriously, keep me updated. I want to know everything. Even if it hurts, I want to know. Heartless as most people think I am, I do care about you. A lot. We're friends now, so we have to stick together. Ew. That sounds lame. And corny. Did I take drugs, too? I'm beginning to sound as sappy as you. Ha. Oh well. You share your secrets and I'll share mine. If you're feeling lonely or sad, you can text me anytime. I won't mind. Please try not to annoy me too much during the day. Karma, I am begging you. Legally I don't think they can take my phone, but I'd rather not get on the bad side of these guys._

_Well… I guess that's it. Sorry, again, for not waking you up. I'm off to meet my doom with my father. Wish me luck there. If you don't hear from me, I'm probably dead. And I will assume the same with you if you don't contact me, so you'd better text me or my father or else I'll have the police called. Alright? Make sure to check the log and if you need help, ask Tadaomi if he's sober. Don't do anything dumb or participate in any delinquent activities. Stay safe and enjoy your summer. I know I won't._

_Let me know if you need anything at all… I will leave camp if it's urgent. Anything to make sure you're safe and sound. I'll miss you, so please keep in touch. Seriously. Don't worry me too much. I don't care if it's four in the morning… if you need to talk, I will be there. Fuck everyone else. You're my best friend and I will always be there for you. No matter what. Swear on my life._  
_See you soon,  
Gakushuu_

Why is it wet…? Oh… I'm crying. Oh God… Gakushuu why did you do this? How am I supposed to squish my feelings down if you do shit like this!? To think being cared about in such a genuine, innocent way would make me feel like this. Wow… I have the best best friend in the world. Gakushuu Asano may be fake, and conceited, and haughty, and smug, and shit like that sometimes… but he's also sweet, and kind, and adorable, and genuine as well. Only with me, though. That makes me feel special. Warm. 

I think… I think I could date him… in the future, of course! After things calm down and Daddy grows accustomed to him, maybe I'll be able to stand up to him and actually be free from my chains. Because with Gakushuu by my side, I feel safe. Safe enough to do anything.

**2:26 p.m.**  
**Karma**  
I uh… I got your note. Thank you for everything Gakushuu. Seriously. You are a good person and I'm sorry I ever said you weren't. Seriously… ever since you came into my life, it certainly hasn't been boring. But I'm glad we're friends now:) ummm yeah, I'll keep you posted on everything, and I'll totally text you whenever I feel the need. You do the same! I want to be there for you too! Aww, I care about you too! Need to rant or vent or blow off some steam?? Karma will be there to listen~ whenever you need me. If I can be there, I swear I will be. Since I'll be bedridden for a while, my phone will always be on me. I WILL ANNOY YOU WHENEVER I WANT!!  >:3 Muhahaha. Anyway, I promise to keep you updated on my life. God, that sounds boring… my life sucks. Are you sure you want to do this? It's not too late to back out! But hm… thanks again! Same goes for you on everything! I will be there whenever you need me! Promise! :) good luck with your dad and kick ass at camp! Don't do anything stupid! Be careful! Don't accept weird candy from strangers;) 

**Karma**  
Also, on a more serious note… Thank you for being here for me… it means a lot. If you hadn't been here this past week, I don't know what I would have done. I'm really glad we're best friends, Gakushuu. 

**Gakushuu**  
Thank you, Karma. For everything. I will text you whenever I need to as well. Um… yeah, just thank you so much! It's no problem at all, really. That's what best friends are for. I'm glad, too. Anyway, I've gotta go. Get some food in you and be sure to stay hydrated! Text you later!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ain’t they the cutest? 
> 
> Next few chapters should be up this week. I’m going to try posting at least every other day. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this. It means a lot.


	23. First Day of Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of camp, the boys talk, and Gakushuu has roommate issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had things I was going to say, but my mind went blank as soon as I clicked on the box. Cool. 
> 
> Looking over the chapter, I remembered! The way they text is pretty much the way I text: long and mostly grammarly correct. So I’m sorry if that seems weird. I don’t really know much text lingo or whatever because I don’t really have friends or anyone to text or chat with. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter.

June 1st; 1:49 p.m. 

**Karma**  
Hey nerd :p how are ya settling in? Math camp is so fucking lame. Maybe I can come next year and spice it up for ya~

**Gakushuu**  
Good afternoon, pig :p I'm doing just fine. Got everything taken care of, I think. Orientation and Class 1 was this morning, and I just finished up with lunch. It's not just math, Karma. It's like all the core subjects… it's more like a cram school than anything else. Um… yes. Please. Everyone here is so… ugh.

**Karma**  
Really? –_– Can I have a better nickname? That's good! Ohhh, that makes sense. Math everyday for a whole month would suck—and that's saying something because I love math. Of course they're ugh compared to you Mr. Perfect! Seriously tho, what makes them bad? How's your roomie? Probably pretty lame since he's not me!  >:) too bad I'm not your roommate!

**Gakushuu**  
Hmm… sure, piglet~ I guess… the dormitory is pretty nice. Kind of like a nice little hotel. Right? Each week the subjects switch. Mhm. I feel the same way… math is fun and I don't know why everyone seems to hate it so much. Math is severely underrated. Thank you, I am quite wonderful, aren't I? Um… they're not as smart as me or you, the girls are too chatty, the boys are all hot on themselves, I've been hit on by people of both sexes, and… they're all just lame. I thought they'd be more studious, but it seems like the majority of them are just like the people at school. My roommate is okay… I guess. Lame, but okay. He's really quiet and emo looking, so things should be fine. I'd much rather share a room with you, but you're obviously not here :p

**Karma**  
No! Nothing to do with icky animals! Nice. Oh, yeah that makes a lot more sense. Fucking right!? Someone gets it! This is why we're best friends lmao. Oh yes, very wonderful *eye roll* conceited bastard;) wow, they really must be ugh. Ooh, any illicit summer romances planned? Keep me updated! I've got to be in the know. I've got to be the second to know if you lose your virginity (obvi your partner will be the first~). Yeah, I totally get that… but not everyone can be like you. Try to have fun? Quiet emo? You lucked out! If he ever gives you shit or anything, let me know and I'll give him a piece of my mind. Next year! We will rule that camp!

**Gakushuu**  
Alright… I'll call you… Red. Because your hair is red, and I used to find you rage inducing~ Exactly! I knew I liked you for a reason. I'm not being conceited, I'm being honest ;) No, no romances for me. Ew! I will not be losing my virginity to anyone here, Karma; that's gross. I suppose not. Try to have fun? That's like telling you to try not to get into trouble: not going to happen. Hopefully he remains quiet and shy. Karma, do you know who I am? I'm more than capable of telling him off myself. Oh my God, please, yes. 

**Karma**  
Red…? It seems a little bland. But I'll take it over pig or piglet any day. Rage inducing? You flatter me, kind sir~ You like me for a lot more reasons, right!? Oh haha very funny. What a shame… what's ew? Why is it gross? HAHAHA you're so funny :p yes, let's hope! Truuuue. :)

**Gakushuu**  
Red it is! But I'll probably continue to call you Karma lol. That's flattering? Really? You're so strange. Hmm, I dunno, do I? ;p Sex and losing my virginity is ew. I find the act of sex outside of reproducing repulsive. It just is. I don't know. How are you feeling? Better? Has the bruising lightened up any?

**Karma**  
And I'm totally fine with that lol. Yes, really! Thank you :) Gakushuu! Tell me you like me! I constantly need your validation to make me feel better about myself;) oh… okay. Yeah I'm fine. Gotta go. Text you tomorrow or something. 

**Gakushuu**  
What? Karma why? We just started texting like twenty minutes ago. What's wrong?

**Karma**  
Nothing. Just gotta go.

**Gakushuu**  
Is it Tadaomi?

**Karma**  
No, nothing like that. Just tired. 

**Gakushuu**  
Is this… because I said sex was gross? Karma, I didn't mean to offend you. Wait… are you not a virgin!? How did you manage that with how crazy Tadaomi is!?

**Karma**  
No! No I'm fine! Seriously. Drop it. 

**Gakushuu**  
Tell me. I'm sorry I said that. I just… I've seen some shit that has made me hate sex. I don't think you're gross or repulsive if you really have had sex. 

**Karma**  
Позвони мне

_Gakushuu_  
_mobile..._  


“That was fast,” Karma laughed a little, trying to hide the fact that he'd been crying by sounding chipper… but Gakushuu could tell he was upset. Why he was so upset over this, he didn't really know; just the thought of his best friend turning on him or thinking he was repulsive for having sex got to him. When Gakushuu didn't say anything, Karma continued. “You can't tell anyone. Seriously. No one can know.”

Wow… Gakushuu couldn't believe it. “So… you're not a virgin?”

“Correct.” Karma was embarrassed to admit this, especially to his best friend considering he found the act so awful. Not that he minded because he, too, was not a fan of sex… but he felt he wouldn't have minded it if Gakushuu was involved. Looks like that wouldn't be happening. Not that he wanted it to!

That was insane! Gakushuu had been under the impression that Karma hated intimacy; then again with how often the male kissed him, he really shouldn't have been. Hearing this though, it made his stomach churn and his heart ache. “That's uh, really unexpected. With how much you hate being touched and looked at, I'm just… really surprised.” When he heard Karma sniffle a bit, he added. “Not that it's a bad thing!” Okay, it was kind of a bad thing because for some reason the thought of Karma being intimate with anyone aside from him—wait, no… that thought train was not allowed to happen. Gakushuu didn't want to be with Karma; he wasn't jealous. The thought of him being with someone else didn't make him sick. Gakushuu wasn't gay and the two of them were just friends. 

“I guess…”

Awkward silence followed. “Can I ask who it was?” He had to know… even if it hurt, he wanted to know. 

“Promise not to tell anyone… not a soul, Gakushuu.”

“I promise!”

This wasn't a story he thought he'd ever tell anyone, but Gakushuu seemed like he really wanted to know. And… he was Karma's best friend, so he knew he was trustworthy. “Well, you remember how I was all depressed and was planning on killing myself a few weeks before finals?”

Ugh, he didn't want to think about that. “Yes, what does that have to do with anything?”

Karma sighed heavily, “Well, the night before I ran out of class, I snuck out and ran into some people…” Gakushuu pursed his lips; did he lose his virginity to a stranger? That was very dangerous… and stupid. What if he had contracted a disease!? “Rio happened to be among those people,” he muttered and Gakushuu nearly started choking. He thought maybe Manami, or even Yuuma considering he seemed confused about his sexuality… but _Rio_ of all people? Now he felt more than a little perturbed. “It's not like I went out looking for it or her… but I just felt so shitty. And then we started talking, and I was so vulnerable… and I just… I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with anything again so I wanted to at least try it. So I did… and it was actually really nice. But the next morning I was so disgusted with myself for using her that I self-mutilated in the shower and then wrote my suicide note. I really didn't mean for it to happen… but… I wasn't myself.” That was no excuse for his actions, but it was all he could really say… 

Clearly Karma was feeling pretty beat up over it, even now. To think he got _that_ low, though? His head hadn't been on straight when he did that. “Oh…” Gakushuu didn't really know how to respond to this. Just hearing him sound so sad and listening to what he'd done to himself… it left him unable to even mutter a word. His chest hurt, thinking about how scared and alone Karma must have felt. Hugging him seemed like the only response he could give, but they were hours apart from each other. 

“You think I'm disgusting, don't you…?” Why wouldn't he!? Karma used a person for sex; he was awful. 

“No… you aren't disgusting,” he replied quickly, not wanting to give Karma the wrong idea by his silence. “Sex is sex, and I don't think any less of you for having it… but, she didn't notice the… your scars?” Those were very obvious. 

“It was dark and I didn't take off my shirt…. I'm not dumb, Gakushuu. Daddy, Mommy, you, and Gakuhou are the only people who have ever seen me fully naked. At least… I assume your dad did,” he muttered that part more to himself, “I wasn't fully conscious whenever he came over.”

Gakushuu hummed in response, red tinged his cheeks knowing he was one of the few who had seen him in such a compromising state. “Makes sense. So, did you um… _like_ having sex with her?” It was really hard for him not to sound jealous and it was more than a little annoying because he didn't like Karma like that! He absolutely did not!

What an odd question coming from Gakushuu. “Well… I think just sex in general feels good, but like…” He didn't really know how to put it. “I wasn't focusing on her, if that makes sense. It was dark, so I couldn't really see her. I mainly focused on the sensations and like… it felt good. So, the answer to that question would be… I liked the sex, but I didn't like it just because it was with Rio.” That was a really confusing answer, and it probably made him sound like an asshole, but he didn't know how else to say it. 

“Yeah, that makes sense…” And it did; Karma wasn't really attracted to Rio, per se, but she did make him feel good because it was sex, and sex was supposed to feel good. “But I still don't plan on losing my virginity anytime soon. So… you won't be hearing about any stupid summer romances on my end.” Karma felt relieved upon hearing this, which only proved that he probably had feelings towards the male that he still needed to get over. “But um… are you planning on talking to her? Or doing it again?” Why was he asking that!? Why did those words leave his lips!? Just saying that probably made it sound like he was jealous! Which he was… not! Was _not_. Because why would he be? No reason. None whatsoever. 

Karma gulped… it didn't really sound like Gakushuu approved of him having sex. Which was weird. Why would he care? “Um… I don't think so? I mean, it was nice, but like… it was a one time thing, y'know?” Besides, his daddy would kill him if he ever found out; it wasn't worth the risk. “I'd rather wait for someone I actually like… so it'll mean something.” Plus Tadaomi, who frequently took advantage of him and brought him harm… not that he could tell Gakushuu that. Maybe if he got a girl or boyfriend, Tadaomi would back off. No, he'd lock him away and never let him see the light of day again, Karma was sure of it.

“Good!” Gakushuu blurted, face beet red. “I mean like, good idea!” They were both silent after that, unsure of what to say. “So um… I've got to go. My second class starts soon and I don't want to sit by anyone.”

Karma laughed, “That's my best friend!” That answer was so… Gakushuu. “Good luck with everything. Make good choices and don't fall victim to the same mistakes I made~”

“Yeah, yeah,” he smiled. “I'll text you tonight. Thanks for telling me.”

“Alright. Yeah… no problem. Just… please don't tell anyone.”

“I know, Karma. You can trust me, alright? Bye!”

“Bye!” Karma sighed and hung up, wishing he didn't have feelings for his best friend. Meanwhile Gakushuu was curled up in bed, wishing the same exact thing. 

xx

June 1st; 10:53 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
My roommate has been sitting in the same position for two hours. Unmoving. I don't know if he's even blinked. He's got his headphones blaring and is staring at a wall. What the hell do I do?? I want to sleep but his music is so loud and screamy. 

**Karma**  
Omg. That's funny. Whack him with a pillow and tell him to keep his shitty music down unless he wants to wake up naked in the middle of the lake. 

**Gakushuu**  
You are so mean! Karma, I'm serious! I'm really exhausted and it's creeping me out. 

**Karma**  
Poke him and tell him you want to sleep. Or just turn out the lights and maybe he'll get the picture.

**Gakushuu**  
He told me to never disrupt his meditation again and went back to it. 

**Karma**  
What a dick. Um… whack him with a pillow! Threaten his life! Kick him in the balls! 

**Gakushuu**  
He's asleep now :)

**Karma**  
Omg what did you do???

**Gakushuu**  
Pressure point. 

**Karma**  
Atta boy! Good night :)

**Gakushuu**  
Good night, Karma. Sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Gakushuu, you little scamp. 
> 
> Next chapter should be up soon. Tonight or tomorrow probably.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos/comments. I appreciate it.


	24. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma accidentally gets drunk and they have a nice heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 has been screwy and I don’t know if I’ll have much time to post this weekend so I’m posting this now while I still have the chance.
> 
> Enjoy.

June 2nd; 5:17 a.m.

 **Karma**  
Hiiiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuiiiiuuuuuuuuiiiiiii

 **Karma**  
Shuuuuuuuuuuuuu answerrrrrrrrr

 **Karma**  
Shuuuuuyyyy I tookked too many things I thinks! Daddy gave it to me wif this brown stuff at it tasted ickyyyyy! I feeeeel sickkkk 

**Karma**  
Wahhhhhhhhh you hate neeeeeeee!!!!

 **Karma**  
I gots ta pottyyyyyy!!!!!$$$ But um sooo dizzzzzzzy. This worldis spinnnnnuyyyy

 **Karma**  
Shuuuuuuuuuuu I'm gonna cry if you don't answe please answe I miss your face heisbaia!!$!:!:7/$

 **Gakushuu**  
Good god, you're drunk!!! Tadaomi is fucking stupid!!! You're not supposed to take it with alcohol!

 **Karma**  
Nooooiii I'm not drunk!!???!!!? I don't drink!!!!!! That's bad! I don't wanna drink becahse daddy drinks and that's badabd it makes him a big meanie head so I can't do it!!! Tell me I didn't!!

 **Gakushuu**  
Just go to sleep, Karma. It'll make you feel better. 

**Karma**  
Wan talk to Shuuuuuu

 **Gakushuu**  
Karma… come on, you need to sleep. 

**Karma**  
Nooooooooiiii don't make me plasss

 **Gakushuu**  
Sleep. You know you're tired. Try to pee and then go to sleep. 

**Gakushuu**  
Still there? You alright?

 **Karma**  
I fell an peed. On the floor. Shuu daddys gonna kill me!!!!!!

 **Gakushuu**  
Are you okay!? Crap… you're going to have to tell him. It'll be okay. And if it's not, I will have my father come over. Okay?

 **Gakushuu**  
Karma? Are you alright?

 **Karma**  
Daddy told me it was ok and made me hi to sleep when he cleaned it and nkw in in bed and have no pants on… Shuu he didn't hurt me! I'm ok! I'm ok! Promise!!

 **Gakushuu**  
You constantly reassuring me does the exact opposite of reassure me. Tell me what happened. And put on pants. 

**Karma**  
He saw the bottle on my desk andtold me I wasn't allowed to drink scotch and wackef me in the. Head but I told him he gave me th stuff and then he called himself stupid and and then tucked me in bed!! Pants are fer the wereeak'

 **Gakushuu**  
He gave you scotch?? Oh my Lord… Is your head okay, at least?

 **Karma**  
Ya I guess I dunno what scotch is but I assume it's no god?? My head hurts but Karma will live Shuu Shuu don't worry bout me!

 **Gakushuu**  
Kind of hard not to worry about my best friend. Get some sleep, alright? I'll text you when I'm able.

 **Karma**  
Kk, naughty dnight Shuu!!!

xx

June 2nd; 10:10 a.m. 

**Karma**  
So I just woke up in a puddle of my own vomit. That's nice. 

**Karma**  
Dude. My head fucking hurts. And my stomach. Shit. 

**Karma**  
Dammit, I just threw up a bunch. Ughhhh. This is miserable. Somebody saaaaaaaave me~

 **Karma**  
By somebody I mean you. Save me. I think I'm dying. 

**Karma**  
Oh… never mind. Just read our texts. First, sorry for bothering you so early like a jackass. Fuck. I can't believe Daddy accidentally gave me scotch. I swore to myself I would never ever drink alcohol and I fucking did it. 

**Karma**  
I'm terrible. What if I had hurt someone?

 **Karma**  
Man, when I said I would bombard you with texts I didn't think the content would be so serious. 

**Karma**  
I'll just bug you another time. My head hurts. I'm gonna sleep for a few hours… or days. Whichever. Enjoy your day

June 2nd; 5:40 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Hopefully you're up by now. I'm sorry your morning was so miserable. Mine was as well. First Ryuunosuke got all pissy because I knocked him out, then he got in my face, so I pushed him, and then he tried to punch me… I caught his fist, twisted it back, and told him if he wanted camp to be enjoyable that he needed to behave and leave me the fuck alone. Then after I got back from helping this girl with her work, he was blaring his shitty music and I told him to turn it down, he legitimately snarled at me before turning it UP. So I turned it down, he got in my face again, and I tackled him, telling him he was about to have a bad time if he kept up the act. Now I'm in the library because he's a total douche. Ughhhhh I hate him.

 **Gakushuu**  
Also, Karma, it's alright that you drank… you didn't know. It was an honest mistake. You are far from terrible… you are nothing like Tadaomi, and a few sips of scotch won't make you like him. Okay? The only reason you got drunk to such an extent was because of your pills. Just take a deep breath and calm down if you haven't already. I'm here for you if you need me. 

**Karma**  
Let's just pretend that I didn't sleep all day and that this text didn't wake me up, mhmm o.o What a fucking asshole. Go you for standing your ground. It's pricks like him that make me hate people. Inconsiderate piece of shit. You should complain or something. Thank you… it means a lot to hear that from you. It's just… unsettling to think alcohol can make a monster an even worse monster. I never want that to be me. I'm fairly calm now… it sucks being cooped up in the house again, but I'll live. 

**Gakushuu**  
Oh goodness, well you probably needed it after last night. Right?? How could I not when he was being so rude? He made me even angrier than you used to. Same. No problem, Karma. Yeah, I can't say that I know what it's like because Father only has a few drinks of wine here and there and he isn't abusive when he drinks, but I have heard stories. Alcohol can really mess people up… I really wish you weren't in that environment. It won't be… you are better than that, Karma. Good. Do you not have anything to do?

 **Karma**  
Probably. Totally understand. Wow… he must be awful lmao. Must be nice not to have an alcoholic father… Yeah… it sucks. I know, but like… what if it happens? What if I turn into a monster? Not really… I've just been lounging around, playing my ds and watching tv, but that's boring. Sure I've tried to read, but my head hurts so it's hard to concentrate and I end up reading the same sentence thirty seven times. I guess I could draw, but I'm not feeling particularly inspired at this moment in time :c

 **Gakushuu**  
He is. Yeah, he makes up for it in other areas, though. It won't happen because you're strong willed enough to say no. You will follow through and I know it. You will never be like him, so stop worrying about it. Are you artistic?

 **Karma**  
True. Let's hope you're right… because I never want to hurt my child (if I ever have kids) like he does me. Thanks for having so much faith in me c: um… I wouldn't necessarily say that. I'm not all that great, but I used to do it to take my mind off Mommy or the abuse or whatever. Now I'll do it whenever I'm in a creative mood. Anything to escape… y'know?

 **Gakushuu**  
I normally am. If you have kids, I'm sure you'll be just fine. Fathering a child is definitely not on my to-do list. Sex in general just… isn't something I want. You should feel special; I don't put my faith in just anyone :p Oh wow… it sucks that you had to see her go through that. You should show me your work sometime… I'll bet you're decent considering you're good at like everything. 

**Karma**  
Ha:p but I probably won't ever have kids, so it won't matter. Yeah, that's to be expected since you don't like the idea of sex. Oh yes, I do, I feel oh so special to have your faith:p seriously though, I'm glad you care so much about me. It was awful… I kind of want to throw up thinking about it. Thankfully she's safe with my bio dad now. Maybe… aww, you think I'm good at everything?? :3c

 **Gakushuu**  
Same. I probably wouldn't be a good father. Yeah… the thought of having sex had never really crossed my mind until you brought it up yesterday. You better! You are probably the only person I care about aside from myself. I'm sorry… should we stop talking about it? Too bad you aren't with her. Perhaps that was a stretch… you're good at SOME things. Probably. 

**Karma**  
Why do you say that? You're really nice once you like someone. At least, I think you like me? To an extent, at least. Yeah, I used to be the same way. Aww, I'm flattered. I care about you a lot too. Please… Um… I dunno. My bio dad was kind of a dick. But I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Please. You're so mean!!!!  >.<

 **Gakushuu**  
Because… I don't know. Just a feeling, I guess. I'm only this genuinely nice to you, Karma; with everyone else it's fake. Yes I like you, nitwit. Go figure lol. You should be! Thank you… I really appreciate you being my friend after everything we've gone through. Okay, we won't then… though I am really curious as to why you stayed behind. I'm not that mean ;)

 **Karma**  
I bet you'd be a great daddy since you're great at everything else. Plus… you took care of me just fine. True. Yay! I am! You don't have to thank me for being friends with you, Gakushuu! I'm just glad I was able to prove myself :) seriously, I don't want to talk about it. I just didn't go with her. Are so!

 **Gakushuu**  
Eh, I doubt it. That's one thing I am not afraid to admit that I would struggle with. After how I grew up it just wouldn't be a good idea. Yeah, because it was YOU. Anyone else and they would have been on their own. Sorry, I'm just not for sure on how a real friendship works. But I think we're doing a good job…? Me too, because you're not as stupid as I once thought you to be. Guess I just had to look deeper than what was on the surface, just like you had to. It would have been better if you did. 

**Karma**  
I'm in the same boat. Who would want someone like me as a dad? Aww, Gakushuu, you're too kind to me lol. Yeah, I felt the same way with Manami at first. Though our friendship feels different from hers… weird. But I like you better. Don't tell her I said that. Awesome job! Best bros for life ;3 I'm not stupid! Exactly! You should never judge a person based on appearance alone; you never know what they're like until you really get to know them. Kinda like books! Gakushuu, seriously. It's complicated and I don't like talking about it. Shush. 

**Gakushuu**  
You seem nurturing… I saw you take care of a wounded cat before school once. And you feed strays around the neighborhood. I swear I wasn't stalking you, I just happened to see you because your hair color is pretty hard to miss! But yeah, don't sell yourself short. Probably lol. Because I am better than her. Feel free to tell her I said that. Glad to see you're so committed to this friendship lol. You're only a little stupid, you did do that one thing that one night that one time, after all ;) Hmm… I never really thought about it that way; I tended to just avoid getting to know anyone due to their inferiority. Sorry… I'll stop. 

**Karma**  
HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!? Ahhhh no one was supposed to see that. It'd totally ruin my image, so don't tell anyone! Curse this bright red hair! Thanks though, Gakushuu. Jerk. Conceited jerk ;p of course I'm committed! You're the first person who I've been able to talk to about anything since my mommy. I can relate to you and you're super awesome. Ughhhh shut uppppp! Yeah, I know, you arrogant little shit;) Thank you. 

**Gakushuu**  
Sorry! I just happened to pass by on a few occasions. I won't, don't worry. Just add it to our collection of secrets we can never share with anyone. No, it's cute, don't curse it, Karma. Mhm. Eh, I cannot argue with that. What about Manami? It is nice having someone who understands what I'm going through. Thanks, same to you. I mean, if the shoe fits? But if you can tell me anything why can't you tell me why you didn't go with your mom?

 **Karma**  
Man, I thought I was pretty inconspicuous. Dammit. Thanks, though. More secrets! lol thanks, at least something about me is attractive. You're so great lmao. Um… I don't really know. I've never felt comfortable around people. You're the first person I've been able to really connect with… you understand me. Right. God, you crack me up lol. Because it's really personal and you need to respect that!! It's hard talking about her to anyone. 

**Gakushuu**  
Nope :p You're not bad looking, Karma; in case you haven't noticed, all the girls at school love you. Thank you, I am aware of how great I am, you do not need to constantly remind me ;) Yeah, I totally understand that. People are annoying. I feel the exact same way with you. I certainly try. It's hard talking about everything, just tell me… I'm supposed to be your best friend. 

**Karma**  
Oh… thank you… but I'm really not. You've seen my body. If anyone is good looking, it's you. You have everything. And your scars are less noticeable. But uh, no, I haven't paid much attention to anyone this entire school year. Plus I'm kind of oblivious to things like that. Goes right over my head lol. Ha ha ha:p I'm glad you feel the same… it's nice to know I've helped you in some sort of way. You are my best friend, but… Mommy is a different issue. Talking about her makes me depressed. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm not going to lie and say they're not hard to look at, but they're part of you so it's okay. They're reminders that you made it; you're alive and still kicking. Yeah, I know I am ;) but so are you. I've been able to pick up on that, yes lol. Being able to help someone is a nice change. You won't get over it if you don't talk about it, Karma. You can't keep bottling things up.

 **Karma**  
That's a nice way to look at it… lol you're so funny;p but no, seriously, I'm not. You definitely are attractive, and you have all the confidence in the world that makes everyone else see it. Most people probably have lol. I've been bottling things up for years. I'm fine. You bottle things up too so you can't scold me about it.

 **Gakushuu**  
Stop being so hard on yourself. You're the best looking guy I know, Karma. Knowing your strengths is just as important as knowing your flaws. I am confident, and you should be too. Don't let Tadaomi dictate how you present yourself. Definitely lol. Well now you don't have to, and neither do I! I've told you about everything you've asked. 

**Karma**  
Thanks for being such a good friend, Gakushuu. What are your flaws then?:p I try to be… it just comes off as smug though. I think that's why people are afraid of me. I can't help it… Yeah, but I still don't wanna talk about it. Just drop it. 

**Gakushuu**  
You too, Karma. Um… I'm scarred, I let my father walk all over me, I fear my father, and… I'm really fake just so I can please everyone. It's exhausting being the perfect little Asano boy. Riiiight, yeah I totally got that vibe from you at first; it pissed me off. Not to mention you got into some pretty nasty fights. Just let yourself be happy and don't worry about him. Whatever :/ I've got to go, bye. 

**Karma**  
Wow, I didn't think you'd actually admit any and say that you were perfect. Damn. Yeah, I can see that. Oops. Just for the record, it usually wasn't my intention to piss you off! Yeah, I forgot about those. Your dad let me off the hook so many times, I think because he knew about Daddy. It's not that easy! What!? Why!? Are you mad? Shit. Please don't be mad. I'll tell you. I promise!

 **Gakushuu**  
Nope, I'm not my father, Karma. I know I'm not perfect. Just a few more years and I won't have to pretend anymore. I can leave and be my own person… while crushing my father in the process. Yeah lol I know that now. That makes sense, my father seems to like you a lot… which is weird because he hates everyone. Guess you just have a certain charm to you. Awesome. Tell me. 

**Karma**  
True. I'm glad you're not him. You're a better version of him, I'd like to think. Sounds like a plan lol. Yeah, I don't really know why he would, though. I'm not all that charming. You are really pushy… geez. Um, Mommy wanted me to go with her, and she tried to force me, but like… it'd been so forced into my head that he was my new daddy and I wasn't allowed to hate him or defy him, that I couldn't let myself leave. Leaving him would be betraying him, and I loved him. I still love him. And I don't want to hurt him even though he hurts me. There… happy now? I'm crying again. Thanks.

 **Gakushuu**  
Wow… that's the first time anyone has said that. Thank you. You are… it's hard not to like you once you let someone really know who you are. Well when I want to know something, I expect to be told what it is or I'll get upset. Damn, that must have been really hard and confusing for you. I wish you never had to go through all that crap. One day you'll be free and you won't have to worry, okay? Thank you for telling me. I can kind of relate… as you know I wasn't about to turn my father in and leave because that was too easy, and I didn't want to be placed with strangers. Aww, don't cry. You're okay, Karma. Just breathe. 

**Karma**  
You're way nicer than he is… and not abusive. Or crazy. Well thanks, I guess… Okay, sorry. I'll tell you whatever from now on. Just please don't be mad at me… yeah, it was hard. Because I loved Mommy so much and I hated being without her. He put me through a lot after she was gone because she was no longer there for him to hurt. I was his new target. I hope that's the case… Yeah, you're welcome. Who would? I'd hate to be put in foster care after how many stories I've heard about it. I'm not okay… I'm sad and on drugs and it's hard to breathe. Ugh.

 **Gakushuu**  
All true. Mhm. I'm not mad, Karma. I promise. God, that had to be so awful. It will be the case. I will get you out of that house any way that I can if he takes things too far. You don't deserve what he does. Exactly, it's terrifying because you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Try to calm down… take deep breaths and focus on one spot. Clear your head and relax. Okay?

 **Karma**  
Okay good… I don't want you to be mad at me. It was, but it was normal for me. It always has been. Thanks Gakushuu, but don't trouble yourself lol. I usually do… it's my own fault. I make him do it. Yeah… thanks Gakushuu. I'm really hungry and I'm not supposed to text at dinner or around Daddy so I'm gonna go. Talk to you later. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm not mad at you. Whatever you say… I don't think you're correct though. Yeah, talk to you later. 

 

There was no getting through to Karma on that one and Gakushuu knew it… his mind was wired to think that everything was his fault and he deserved it. So there was no sense in arguing. Instead, he went to go get dinner himself, trying not to talk to anyone because he was still kind of upset after that conversation. He hated that Karma was like that… all he wanted to do was protect him. But he couldn't… and that sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, there may be more since I rushed to post this, and hopefully I’ll be back with another chapter soon. Thanks for reading!


	25. Texting you Keeps me Sane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu’s roommate sneaks a girl in, Karma helps him, and some more snippets of their texts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna split this up into two short chapters, but then decided to just mash them together because that would require me to think of another chapter title and summary, which I am not good at.
> 
> There is some homophobic language in this chapter.

June 3rd; 10:47 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
My roommate snuck some girl in while I was in the shower. I heard them talking. 

**Gakushuu**  
Oh my God! Karma, they're having sex I think!

**Gakushuu**  
Karma!! What do I do!? 

**Gakushuu**  
Karma please answer… I don't want to listen to this. Please. 

**Karma**  
Shit, I'm so sorry! I was asleep! You should have called! What do you want me to do? 

**Gakushuu**  
Can I call you?

**Karma**  
I'll call you in like two minutes. Let me see if I can get to the roof. 

**Gakushuu**  
No! Bad Karma! Stay inside. I'll live.

**Gakushuu**  
Karma!?!?

**Gakushuu**  
Are you okay!? Shit. Please tell me you're okay!

**Gakushuu**  
I will call my father if you don't answer!!

**Karma**  
Sorry! I'm here! Good news: I'm on the roof! Bad news: I'm in pain, and I'm on the roof!

**Gakushuu**  
Idiot!!!

_Karma_  
_mobile…_  


“Are you okay?” Gakushuu answered immediately, half-expecting Karma to be bawling.

“Fit as a fiddle,” he grinned cheekily, not letting the pain get to him. “So how was your evening?” Taking Gakushuu's mind off of whatever was currently happening in his room was all he could think to do. 

“It was… alright, I guess.” The girl let out a particularly loud moan and he shuddered. “Why the hell would he do that while I'm still in the room!?”

Karma's thoughts exactly. Probably because Gakushuu knocked him out the other night, and then told him to keep his music down and all that shit about behaving or else he'd have a bad time. Looks like Gakushuu is the one having the bad time, though. “Idea… just walk in on them and act like it's completely normal. Brush it off. He obviously just wants to get under your skin.”

But Gakushuu couldn't do that… then again, just listening and waiting for it to be over reminded him of his childhood. Made him feel all those same feelings of confusion and fear. “I can't… I… just can't.”

Clearly this had something to do with why Gakushuu wasn't a fan of sexual intercourse, so Karma didn't really know what to do. “You can talk to me about it… only if you want!” He wasn't pushy like Gakushuu or his dad… if Gakushuu didn't want to talk about it, then he didn't have to. 

It would be hypocritical for him not to tell him, so he gathered his thoughts and spoke calmly despite feeling extremely anxious. If this was Ryuu trying to get to him, it was unfortunately working rather well. “I uh… I used to watch my parents uh, have sex,” he whispered, cheeks taking the color of Karma’s hair; it sounded creepy and he knew it. Why he'd done that as a child? Who knew? Because he was a curious, inquisitive idiot, probably. “From the closet… and like, I don't think Mama wanted it. And Father would just treat her so terribly, and… it was terrifying as a five year old. I didn't really understand it at the time, but I knew Mama was hurting. But I thought Father could do no wrong, so I believed him when he said she deserved it. My mother deserved a lot of things, but no one deserves that. It still sickens me to know he did that to her.”

That was… a lot to take in and he felt awful that such a young child had to sit through that kind of thing. Karma could relate wholeheartedly because that exact thing happened to his mommy. Granted, he was older and actually understood what was going on when he found out. Nor did he just stand by and let it happen… he took it upon himself to take the abuse so his mommy wouldn't suffer. He loved her too much to just allow something so terrible happen to her while he listened from the sidelines. “Oh God…” Karma swallowed, he hadn't been expecting an answer, especially one like that. “You were five!?”

“Yeah,” he bit his lip. “Kind of messed up, huh?”

It was… it really was. “But you didn't know any better, Gakushuu. That's so fucking awful. No wonder you don't like sex. I was ten when I walked in on my parents, so…” He trailed off because why the hell did he say that!? Talking about this was literally one of the worst things he could do. 

“Tadaomi… did the same to your mother?”

Well, no way out of this. “Correct…” God, he was an idiot. Hopefully Gakushuu wouldn't pry any more. 

“God… that's so messed up. It makes more sense as to why you don't like intimacy. Before I just figured you were a sheltered child, but now I see that it was so much more.” They were silent after that, which was a mistake because he could hear the two of them pretty clearly now. “Ew… I hate this.” It wasn't violent or anything like his parents, but it still made him sick. 

“Gakushuu, I am telling you. Just walk out there like nothing is happening. And if they get nasty, either throw a pillow at them or call someone.” When he didn't get a reply, he sighed. “I'll even stay on the phone with you.”

You know what? Karma was right. He couldn't let this bastard think that he'd won. “Okay… I'm going,” he whispered, bracing himself for a terrible sight. When he opened the door and walked out, he found them going at it. It was gross, the female body certainly did nothing to spark him, and he kept his brave face.

“They're so loud,” Karma gagged. 

“Yeah, I know,” he rolled his eyes, flopping down on his bed and sighing. “So how are your ribs?”

Karma snickered a little, loving that Gakushuu was showing this asshole that he wasn't bothered by his pathetic display at all. “They hurt… but the one that was sticking out seems to be shifting back.”

“That's good…” He just tuned them out, closing his eyes and focusing on Karma's voice, zoning out everything else. If he could continue to focus on Karma, things would be fine. “Has the bruising gotten any better?”

Before Karma could speak, his roommate piped up. “Dude, can you shut the hell up. It's kind of hard to fuck with your annoying ass voice.”

Despite every part of him screaming that this was bad and he needed to flee, Gakushuu kept his cool, glancing over at him with a blank look on his face, and then her; ah, that made things easier. He knew her: Touka Yada, now a senior at his high school. “I'll bet it's hard for her to fuck you when she could clearly do better.” Karma snorted on the other line, and even the girl cracked a smile when she realized just who her current toy was dealing with.

“What the hell did you just—”

“You heard what I said. And I meant it. Touka could and should do better than you.”

The black haired male bristled at that, before smirking at Gakushuu, looking smug. “You know what? No. I don't need to hear that from your virgin ass. At least I have a girl in my bed and don't complain to my whiny little twink friend all the time.”

Being referred to as such pissed both boys off because Karma didn't do anything to this guy. Gakushuu said the words Karma told him to without even processing them before they left his lips. “Well at least my girlfriend doesn't have to fake her orgasms.” His entire face went red when he realized what Karma had just made him say. Ew! Karma what the hell!? Why did he just say that!? All the while Karma was laughing up a storm, knowing that Gakushuu was probably freaking out.

When the girl laughed, Ryuu looked up at her with his eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you laughing!?”

She smirked at him, laughing through her nose, “Because he's right. Boys your age have such…” She paused, humming thoughtfully as she tapped her chin. “ _Fragile_ egos, so girls have to fake it.” Then she got up, completely exposing herself to Gakushuu, who looked away in a panic; he didn't want to see that. Though, he did find himself questioning why he didn't want to, and when he did see it, it didn't make him feel hot or horny. “If I had known Gakushuu was your roommate, I wouldn't have agreed to do this. Sorry, kid,” she ruffled up Gakushuu's orange hair with a smile on her face, smirking at how innocent he was. Her boobs were right up in his face and he hated it. “Wanna stay in my room tonight, cutie?”

Well… Ryuu would be mad at him, but he didn't like what she was implying. “Say no, Gakushuu,” Karma whispered in his ear aggressively, “What the hell are you doing!?” When he asked about illicit summer romances and Gakushuu losing his virginity, he honestly had been joking. 

Why would Karma care? Though tempted just to piss Ryuu off, he did end up having to decline because he didn't trust his roommate to not bother his things; if he tried to hurt Gakushuu in his sleep, he knew he'd wake up, so staying was the best option. “I'm good here.”

“If you change your mind, I'm in room 207.” Gakushuu nodded almost robotically as he watched her get dressed. “Ryuu, you have no idea what that little rascal is capable of, so I wouldn't get on his bad side if I were you.” Gakushuu merely grinned at her and she ruffled his hair again before leaving.

Ryuu just glared at him. “What? It's not my fault you're bad at sex.” And with that, Gakushuu shut off the lamp and continued his conversation with Karma. “How'd I do?”

“Amazing,” he laughed. “You probably wanna sleep now, huh?”

“As much as I like talking to you, yes… I have to be up early and I really don't want you on your roof any longer than you have to be.”

Karma didn't really want to go, but decided not to fight him since he was pretty tired himself. “Alright… good nigh—”

“Stay on until you're inside.” Karma groaned, but obliged. Gakushuu couldn't help but laugh as Karma muttered expletives and obscenities to himself due to how difficult it was to move. It was quiet for a moment. “You okay?”

“Nngh,” he grunted as he landed inside, nearly tripping. “Inside. Good night, Gakushuu.”

“Good night, Karma. Sleep well.”

As soon as he hung up, Ryuu laughed and muttered under his breath. “Couple of fuckin' faggots.”

And Gakushuu didn't deny it for some reason, he just stuck up for Karma. “Do not refer to him as such. At least I have someone who cares about me, while you just fuck random girls to try to get a rise out of someone. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.”

“I didn't,” he spit back. 

He narrowed his eyes over at the male, “If you ever insult Karma again, you will regret it, Ryuunosuke. Do I make myself clear?” That tone sent very ominous shivers down his spine; this kid wasn't normal. “I'll take your silence as a yes,” he flashed him a smile before turning away and covering himself up. “Sweet dreams.” Man… camp was already terrible, but he found himself enjoying it. At least when he was here, he didn't have to impress everyone. And it was always nice to be a little mean.

xx

June 7th; 3:09 a.m.

 **Karma**  
Hey… you awake?

**Gakushuu**  
I am now. You alright?

**Karma**  
Daddy got drunk. 

**Gakushuu**  
Of course he did. God, I hate him. Do I need to have my father come get you?

**Karma**  
No… I can't get in bed. It hurts. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm calling my father. Hang on. 

**Karma**  
No! He'll hurt me even more! Please don't!

**Gakushuu**  
What if he severely damaged something!? God dammit, Karma! What am I supposed to do? Now I'm too worried to sleep. 

**Karma**  
He didn’t. I'm sorry… please don't hate me. I didn't mean to. I knew I shoulda not told you

**Gakushuu**  
Stop, I don't hate you, Karma. I like you very much. You did good by telling me, okay? I'll stay up as long as you need me to. 

**Karma**  
I miss you

**Gakushuu**  
I miss you too, Karma. It's only three more weeks. 

**Karma**  
Too long. 

**Gakushuu**  
Well I can't just come home, Karma. Not unless it's an emergency.

**Karma**  
Okay. So um… how's your roommate situation?

**Gakushuu**  
He's still not talking to me thankfully. After I nearly got him kicked out the other day (you know, when he threw my suitcase out the window) and he was caught cheating ;) he's stopped bothering me. Now I get to rub it in his face that Touka is all over me~ it's hilarious. 

**Karma**  
Oh… still hanging out with her? She sleeps with a lot of guys, Gakushuu. Manami told me. 

**Gakushuu**  
Yeah, she keeps things less boring. I know, Karma. Are you really worried that I'll sleep with her? When did you start talking to Manami again?

**Karma**  
Oh. I dunno. Maybe? Few days ago. She wanted to hang out, but I obvi can't leave so we just texted. Says it's weird that I like you now. 

**Gakushuu**  
Seriously? You know my feelings on sex, Karma. I wouldn't do that. I see… well she can get over it because I'm not going anywhere. 

**Karma**  
I had the same feelings and I've had sex. Shit changes. That's what I told her… in a nicer way, of course :p

**Gakushuu**  
Mine won't change. I'm not attracted to her. Do you like her? 

**Karma**  
If you say so. Why wouldn't I? She's my friend. 

**Gakushuu**  
I meant romantically, halfwit.

**Karma**  
Oh… no.

**Gakushuu**  
Ah… I see.

**Karma**  
Why?

**Gakushuu**  
Just curious… that's all. 

**Karma**  
The floor hurts

**Gakushuu**  
Do I need to call my father?

**Karma**  
No. I think I csn get into bed. 

**Karma**  
I failed. I'm gonna sleep on the floor. Night Shuu

**Gakushuu**  
So annoying. 

**Karma**  
Please don't be mad at me

**Gakushuu**  
Why the hell would I be mad at YOU!? You didn't do anything, Karma. 

**Karma**  
I was bad. He said I was spending too much time texting you. I'm bad. 

**Gakushuu**  
Oh my god, he's so stupid! If it's an issue, just don't text me as much. I'll live. 

**Karma**  
I can't. I'll miss you. Night. Sleepy

**Gakushuu**  
Text me in the morning. Sleep well, Karma.

xx

June 10th; 1:17 a.m.

 **Karma**  
Sorry I didn't respond to your million texts. Daddy took my phone. Literally just got it back. He threw it at me when he came home. Hope I didn't worry you

**Gakushuu**  
About damn time! I was beyond worried. Father drove by the house to make sure everything was okay, but I was still freaking out. Tadaomi is such an asshole. 

**Karma**  
Sorry Gakushuu. I'll be better. 

**Gakushuu**  
What? No… you're not in trouble. You didn't do anything wrong. 

**Karma**  
I didn't text you and you told me I had to no matter what. I failed you. I'm a bad best friend :c You're gonna replace me. With Touka…

**Gakushuu**  
If you couldn't do it, then you couldn't do it. I can't blame you for Tadaomi's idiocy. You're a wonderful best friend and no one is going to replace you, okay?

**Karma**  
Okay… Thanks for being so nice to me

**Gakushuu**  
You don't have to thank me, goofball. 

**Karma**  
Yes huh. Sleepy. 

**Gakushuu**  
Sleep, Karma. Text me in the morning. 

**Karma**  
Night night c:

 

June 10th; 8:55 a.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm gonna fucking kill that asshole!!! He told a bunch of people I was gay and everyone is avoiding me.

**Karma**  
Intolerant assholes. Tell them you have a girlfriend. 

**Gakushuu**  
I don't want to have to defend myself like that. Even if I was gay, I shouldn't have to feel ashamed of it. No one should. 

**Karma**  
Just do it… you're not gay, right?

**Gakushuu**  
… I don't know. I'm not really attracted to anyone.

**Karma**  
Oh… Not even Touka?

**Gakushuu**  
Why are you so hung up on her!?

**Karma**  
I'm not!! I was just curious. Are you mad?

**Gakushuu**  
No… not at you. I'm sorry. I've gotta get to class. 

 

June 10th; 6:31 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Touka… kissed me a few minutes ago? In front of everyone. 

**Gakushuu**  
Karma? You there? I'm really confused. I need to talk. 

**Gakushuu**  
Please… 

**Karma**  
Sorry. Why'd she do that?? What's confusing?

**Gakushuu**  
What took so long!? To prove we were dating… I didn't really like it. Like… it didn't feel right. Why didn't it feel right?

**Karma**  
Dunno. You're just not attracted to her. It's no big deal, Shuu.

**Gakushuu**  
Ugh. Do you get it up whenever you kiss a girl?

**Karma**  
I've only kissed one girl. And no. I didn't.

**Karma**  
Why are you freaking out? What's wrong?

**Gakushuu**  
Oh… so that's normal? Good. I'm not freaking out. Nothing's wrong. 

**Karma**  
Are you… scared you might be gay?

**Gakushuu**  
No! No not at all! But I'm not! I'm not gay. I'm not anything.

**Karma**  
It's fine if you are. I um… I think I might be. At least, I like boys more than I do girls...

**Gakushuu**  
… Seriously?

**Karma**  
Is that bad?

**Gakushuu**  
No!! It's perfectly okay, Karma. I'm glad you told me. 

**Karma**  
So if you're gay, you can tell me. I won't judge you.

**Gakushuu**  
I'm not! I'm just not attracted to her. Or anyone.

**Karma**  
Try watching different kinds of porn when you can. That'll kinda help you figure it out… 

**Gakushuu**  
Ew. 

**Karma**  
Right… don't like sex. I dunno, then.

**Gakushuu**  
Are you okay? You seem… down, and subdue. 

**Karma**  
Tired

**Gakushuu**  
You say that every time I ask. What's actually wrong??

**Karma**  
Nothing

**Gakushuu**  
Don't lie to me, Karma. I mean it. 

**Karma**  
Sorry… I'm sorry. I just… I don't know. Daddy has to work late. I want to take a shower but I can barely move without aching. My head is killing me. And I just… feel gross. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm sorry. I'd help if I was there. Maybe you can call Yuuma? Or even my father would be willing to help. 

**Karma**  
I'll live… Daddy will probably be in a better mood when he gets home. 

**Gakushuu**  
Did he hurt you again?

**Karma**  
A little. Then he took away my meds. Said I didn't deserve them. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm calling my father. 

**Karma**  
Whatever. I don't care anymore. 

 

June 11th; 1:30 a.m. 

**Karma**  
Your daddy saw me nakeyy!!!

**Gakushuu**  
And you're on drugs again. Wonderful. 

**Karma**  
Yup! Yum! I takes a showe and he helped me lots and lists! I hugged him lots and he said I was a silly boy!!!! Then he petted my hair and stuff! He sksososososisi nice which is mean because why isn't he nice to my pereciois Shuu????? That's so mean!! I be nice to Shuu cause Shuu is amazing! And cute! I wanna kiss him !! And he can't kiss Touka no mores cause that's bad! Karma only!!! Karma OMLY!!!

**Gakushuu**  
Oh dear… he actually let you hug him? That's weird. I agree that he is mean, but he usually only does it to better me, Karma. I'm glad you want to be nice to me. Thank you, Karma. Um… I take it you're upset about me kissing her?

**Karma**  
YOU DAID SHE KISSED YOU YOU LYING ASSHOLE!!!

**Gakushuu**  
She did! She did! I worded it wrong, I'm sorry. Calm down, Karma. 

**Karma**  
Sorey I got scared. Um no Karma is not upset! He's okay!

**Gakushuu**  
When you refer to yourself in the third person, I know you're lying. We've had enough conversations when you're high that I know. 

**Karma**  
Karma no mad!!!$ &

**Gakushuu**  
I'm thinking about going to her room tonight. 

**Karma**  
…………………… Bye. 

**Gakushuu**  
So you are mad!

**Gakushuu**  
Karma?

**Gakushuu**  
I was kidding! I'm not really going to her room.

**Gakushuu**  
KARMA AKABANE, ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!

**Gakushuu**  
Stop being a fucking baby and answer me!!!

**Gakushuu**  
Why are you mad anyway!!?? You have no reason to be!! 

**Gakushuu**  
This is fucking annoying. Fine. Whatever. Be this way. Text me when you're done being a brat. 

June 11th, 9:16 a.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Karma? You there?

June 11th, 11:59 a.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Come on!! You know I'm not attracted to her so this makes no fucking sense!!!

June 11th, 1:11 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Fucking answer me!!! 

June 11th, 3:01 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Karma, please… I don't like this. Are you mad or hurt?

**Gakushuu**  
Father says you answered him… well fine. If that's how you want to be, maybe I will sleep with her!!!

June 11th, 4:57 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
Nothing? Seriously?? Damn. 

**Gakushuu**  
You think I'm bluffing!?

June 11th, 7:47 p.m. 

**Gakushuu**  
_[image]_

**Karma**  
_[image]_

**Gakushuu**  
You're… with Rio?

**Karma**  
You're with Touka. What's the matter?

**Gakushuu**  
Tadaomi will fucking kill you if he finds out!!!

**Karma**  
I told him I was hanging out with Ryouma and Rio, who is his girlfriend, so he didn't care. He works with Ryouma's mom :p

**Gakushuu**  
Idiot. Get away from her. What happened to not being like Tadaomi? Huh?? Using her is a really shitty thing to do to a person.

**Karma**  
We're hanging out. Nothing else. Terasaka is here too. Don't get your panties in a twist. 

**Gakushuu**  
Oh yes, you have the idiot gorilla with you; I'm so relieved. (If you weren't already aware, that was sarcasm). Idiot. How did you explain your injuries? Why have you been ignoring me??

**Karma**  
Mean. I told them I was jumped by a gang and couldn't fight them all. To see what you'd do if you thought I was mad. I almost caved but your dad told me not to. 

**Gakushuu**  
That dick!!!

**Karma**  
I’m really sorry:c please don't be mad… please.

**Gakushuu**  
I'm not mad, Karma. Just irritated. Why would you do that to me? Are you jealous of Touka? What's the problem?

**Karma**  
Oh, I'm sorry. I… I don't know. No! I have no reason to be jealous! Hang out with her all you want. I just… Rio has told me some things and I don't want you to get hurt.

**Gakushuu**  
It is fine. Well it was dumb so you should not do it again. Texting you is one of the only things that keeps me sane. Exactly: you have no reason to be jealous, so stop acting like you are. Quite frankly, I don't like Touka, but it's good to keep her around. Because RIO is a reliable source now…? Goodness Karma, you have no business being around her after what happened.

**Karma**  
Sorry… I really am. Please don't replace me. I like having you as my best friend. Same here c: Sorry, I'll stop… I guess that makes sense. She IS! She knows Touka! Yeah but… she called me from Ryouma's phone and said she was bored and wanted to see me. We've just been screwing around by the lake and shit. Now we're getting dinner. Terasaka is an idiot, but it's kind of okay being around Rio? She hasn't said anything about that one time so it's been fun. 

**Gakushuu**  
Stop apologizing! You didn't really do anything, Karma! You don't have to constantly apologize to me like you do Tadaomi. Touka says Rio is pretty close to her… I'll call you later. I have to go. Bye. 

**Karma**  
I didn't make you mad did I!? I'm sorry! Whatever I did, I'm sorry Gakushuu!

**Gakushuu**  
Stop!! It's nothing like that, I'm just really hungry. I'll call you around 10? Will you be home by then?

**Karma**  
Oh, okay good. Sorry for freaking out. Yeah, that's fine! Have a good time with Touka! But not too good of a time! Seriously. Don't. Bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wraps it up for the ‘text chapters’ and will be resuming mostly normal, longer chapters from here on out. Updates will vary, I don’t really have a schedule... could be everyday, every other day, or maybe even once a week. It kind of just depends.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	26. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma starts hallucinating so Gakushuu has his father come over, they talk, and then Gakuhou and Tadaomi have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn’t sleep and got bored so I decided to edit this chapter and go ahead and post it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

_Gakushuu_  
_mobile…_  


“Hey Gakushuu,” Karma answered happily, glad to hear the voice of his best friend for the first time in… a week maybe? It felt like forever.

“Hey.” He let out an exhausted sigh as he flopped down onto his bed. Thankfully Ryuu had his headphones blaring, so Gakushuu didn't feel the need to keep his voice down. “So you hung out with a couple E-class dimwits today, huh?”

Of course he would say that. Insulting his friends was a little annoying, but he didn’t say anything, not wanting to upset Gakushuu in the first ten seconds of speaking to him. “The system is extremely flawed, Gakushuu. We all know it. That's why you don't treat them badly, because you know it's wrong.” 

“Eh, I don't exactly condone what happens because I agree the system is flawed, but the majority of them are below average compared to the rest of us. If given the proper tools I do believe they could catch up, but Father doesn't want them to, obviously.”

Wow… Karma actually felt surprised to hear that answer from him. He thought for sure that Gakushuu would call them a bunch of names and act like they were way beneath him. “Why not? Why does he keep them so low?”

“Something to the extent of worker ants? It's supposed to be motivating. I don't know. I get what he is doing, and it is far from fair, but that is the way of the road, I suppose.” It was meant to look like a fair system from the outside while it was actually pretty monstrous. Keeping 5 percent of the class so low and letting the others bully them and treat them like they didn't matter… it was flawed. Then again, the world was flawed. It wasn't fair. This was just shoving the teenagers into reality a little earlier than expected. “To think I tried to get you sent there the majority of the year,” he chuckled to himself and then slapped a hand over his mouth. That was _not_ something one says to their best friend.

Tense silence surrounded them for a moment before Karma let out his breath, laughing softly. “You really hated me, huh?” Not that he couldn't see why; Gakushuu was raised differently, trained to be a mindless little robot and do exactly as he was told. All his life, he was told that he had to be perfect, and that he was better than everyone else. And Karma was just some no one who showed up a month late into the school year with no social skills and a haughty attitude. 

“No! I didn't… I just,” he didn't know what to say. “It's complicated.”

Yeah… it was nice to know Gakushuu didn't want to hurt his feelings now. He'd changed at least a little bit for Karma's sake. “I get it,” Karma smiled, adjusting the ice pack Rio had gotten for his ribs, hissing a bit at the bite of the cold. “Ahh, shit~” he murmured to himself. 

That wasn't a good sound… it worried Gakushuu immensely. If he had stayed in bed like he was supposed to and hadn't been out fraternizing with that little tramp, this wouldn't be happening. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he let out a shaky laugh, trying to control his breathing even though it hurt. “I just… ache.”

“This is why I told you not to overdo it. You shouldn't have been out with Rio. Even if you were feeling better, you should have known moving around so much would hurt in the long run.”

Ugh, he hated it when Gakushuu got all motherly on his ass… even if he was right, he wanted to hear it as a friend, not an overprotective parent. “I'm fine, Gakushuu.”

No he wasn't… but they could talk about that another time. Gakushuu actually had something he wanted to discuss with Karma. “I don't think you should hang around Rio.”

Why did it even matter!? If Gakushuu could hang around girls, why couldn't he do the same!? “Why? She's not that bad.” And that was true… though Karma still felt uncomfortable being around her, it was fine for the most part. Sure she got a little touchy feely and weird around him, but he figured that she was feeling just as awkward as he was. 

“She likes you, Karma. A lot. Touka said she's a virgin, and if she's supposedly a virgin, you realize what that means, right?” 

Karma stilled… she acted like she'd had sex before. Like she was experienced. Hell, she even kind of implied that she'd done it beforehand. “So… I was her first? Why does that matter?”

“She _likes_ you, Karma. And if you continue hanging around her, she's going to want to _date_ you. For her, that night meant something.” Karma remained silent, unsure of how to go about all this… if Rio wanted to have sex again, he couldn't provide. It was a one time thing, and she knew that… the only way he would ever sleep with her again was if Gakushuu got a girlfriend. Wait…! No, no he would never sleep with her again. Gakushuu had nothing to do with anything! “Karma, you really are dense when it comes to this crap.”

As if he didn't already know that!? It wasn't like he meant to… he just didn't know how anything worked: what was real and what was fake; what was appropriate and what wasn't; what friends did versus what lovers did. There was no experience for him to base it on. All he'd ever known was his parents… that became his normal. And now? His head was all fucked up and he had no idea how anything with love worked. “Why would she say she wasn't one?”

“Did those words actually leave her lips?”

Silence. “It was too long ago to remember clearly, but I _know_ she said she knew how it worked… the whole one night stand thing.”

Sighing, Gakushuu pinched the bridge of his nose; how naïve Karma was irritated him to no end. But he couldn't get upset because it wasn't his fault. “I don't think you should be around her anymore, Karma. It's not a good idea.” They weren't allowed to date. Why? Gakushuu didn't know exactly, but they just couldn't. It rubbed him the wrong way. “Just stick with me and—”

“I'm not allowed to have other friends now?”

“I didn't say that, Karma,” he snapped, hating it when people twisted his words around. “I'm just saying that if you listen to me, you won't run into trouble.” Plus, Rio and the rest of the E-class could be a hindrance… they could taint his best friend or something, which he didn't want. Karma had to stay loyal to him, and none of those in that class liked Gakushuu due to his relationship to the chairman. What if they turned Karma against him!? “Have I ever been wrong?”

Yes! “Well you did miss a question on—”

“I meant with you!” He interrupted, not wanting to relive that awful time in his life. “In our friendship, have I ever steered you wrong?”

Well… no, he hadn't. “No…”

“Exactly,” he smiled, “And I will always protect you, Karma. From everyone and everything.”

A smile crept up to his lips, it was always nice when Gakushuu treated him like this… so kindly. “Thanks Gakushuu…”

It was definitely time to change the subject. “So how have you been?”

“Good… I've been up a little more, trying to do more for myself. And I've been drawing, which is relaxing. How about you?”

Gakushuu smiled, glad to know Karma was doing alright and that Tadaomi hadn't hurt him since the other day. “Been taking your meds and everything on time? I'm decent… I would be better if I wasn't surrounded by idiots. But what can you do? You know?” 

“Yep… I've been doing it myself and I think I'm doing it right. I wrote everything down, just like you told me.” He shuddered a little, feeling his aches and pain begin to fade. “I think they're kicking in now…” Gakushuu always enjoyed talking to Karma when he was all doped up; it was humorous. “You'll be surrounded by idiots no matter where you go, Shuu. You're too smart.”

The boy laughed, “You're too kind. Can you send me a picture of the log in the morning? I just want to make sure you're doing it correctly.”

“Yeah, if I remember to! So what subjects are you doing this week again?”

“History and government… next week is physics and chemistry.”

Karma made a gagging noise, “History is lame! All it ever does is repeat itself and it won't change. We're supposed to learn from all these stupid dead guys, but no one ever does. It's irritating.”

It was surprising to know Karma felt so passionately about his hatred for history. Good to see he actually knew what he was talking about. “I agree… it is quite infuriating to see all the adults make the same mistakes over and over. Hopefully our generation can fix things.”

“Well… we're not idiots, but who knows about everyone else. It's not like the two of us can just—ew, ew, ew!” Karma rolled around and tried to get whatever just crawled on him off. 

“Karma, are you okay!?” All he could hear was Karma muttering to himself, telling something to die, and then he screamed like a fucking banshee. “Karma!?” No answer, just more muttering and whining. “Karma, answer me!!” Now he was freaking out because it sounded like he was sobbing. “Shit! Karma, if you can hear me, I'm texting my father right now.”

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” Karma shouted, his tone similar to when he saw all the shadows. Which meant he was probably hallucinating again. “Daddy! Daddy help!!” But his dad wasn't home yet. Karma was alone. All alone. With the shadows and bugs. He was terrified. “Shuu, please. Please come back. Please help me. Please,” he begged into the phone, clearly panicked. From the sound of it, he was speaking right into the mic, which killed Gakushuu's ear. 

Meanwhile Gakushuu tried to calm him down, quietly reassuring him that everything was going to be alright and hating that he had to go through all this bullshit. “My father is on his way, Karma. Can you open the door for him?”

“No! No! No!” He shook his head, keeping the covers tightly wrapped around his body. No one was getting in or out. The shadows were too scary and kept trying to touch him. “Shuu, I want you to come back. Please. I'm miserable here without you. Please,” he cried, voice breaking. Well if that didn't make Gakushuu feel like shit, what would? In fear of saying the wrong thing, Gakushuu stayed silent, simply listening to Karma break down with a heavy heart. “ _Please_ tell them to leave, Shuu!”

Was he supposed to encourage the delusion? At this point he had no other option, so he did as he was told. “Alright, let me talk to them.” This was so weird… but he'd do it if it made Karma calm down; anything so his best friend wouldn’t be so upset. “Um, shadows…? Can you please leave Karma alone? Whatever you are doing isn't nice and if you keep doing it, it'll really piss me off. And you won't like me when I'm pissed off.” Was he supposed to keep talking? What was he supposed to say? Karma wasn't saying anything, just whimpering, so he figured they were still there. “Please go away… please just leave Karma alone and don't come back. He gets enough shit from everyone else, he doesn't need you adding to his shitfest.”

Soon enough, Karma's shaky voice came back on the phone. “They disappeared into the walls. And someone is at my door.”

“That's probably my father… go answer it, but look before you do so.” 

Though hesitant, Karma tiptoed through the halls, using the wall to keep himself upright. Stairs. Stairs were not his friend at this moment in time. Suddenly he felt a presence behind him and he ran down them like his life depended on it. Didn't even look when he opened the door and barreled right into whoever was there—Gakuhou, thank God. “Help! They came back!”

“Karma!?” Gakushuu shouted when he wasn't talking to him. “Karma, are you okay!? Was that my father!?”

The man plucked the phone from Karma's hand and sighed as Karma cried into his chest, clutching the back of his suit jacket for dear life; that was certainly an unexpected greeting. He lifted the child up off of his feet a bit and moved them both inside so he could close the door. “It's me… what is going on?” It wasn't like he would be getting an answer from the teenager currently latched onto him. 

Sighing, Gakushuu pursed his lips, speaking to his father wasn't the most pleasant thing, but he had learned to deal with it since Karma needed him to. “The shadows are back. He's hallucinating, I assume because of the medication. Is there not a way to stop that?”

“They are called side effects for a reason; all of them are possible. He is on multiple medications. Perhaps the hallucinations are worse because he took two of the pills that caused a chemical imbalance. I cannot say for sure. Get some sleep, Gakushuu. I will take care of Karma.”

“Wait!” He shouted before the line went dead, angry that his father would just cut him off like that. “Let me say bye.”

Gakuhou looked down at Karma, who didn't look like he was about to let go anytime soon. “Karma, do you want to say bye to Gakushuu?”

The redhead snatched the phone back into his hands, cradling it to his ear while Gakuhou held the majority of his weight so he wouldn't fall. “Shuu, I'm sorry I'm a failure. I miss you and I'll talk to you tomorrow,” he sniffed, hating himself for making such a fool of himself.

“You're not a failure, Karma. This isn't controllable, so stop apologizing. I'll call you in the morning.”

“Okay… loveyoubye,” he hung up the phone and then looked up at Gakuhou, who was surprised by that farewell. Back in his dorm, Gakushuu was smiling like an idiot; his best friend certainly was something else. “They're upstairs. One tried to push me.”

The man sighed, exasperated… why did he feel so inclined to protect this child? It still baffled him. “Who?”

He shrugged, not moving from his spot in the entryway. Clinging to Gakuhou because he heard them… they were up there. Waiting. Watching. Whispering. “The shadows! They're scary!”

“They are not real, Karma.”

“Maybe not to you,” he sniffled. But he could hear them… and see them… and feel them. They whispered mean things to him, and hurt him. 

Well, he couldn't argue with that; he'd never hallucinated before so he couldn't say that he knew what it felt like. Gakushuu had a few times… okay, far more than a few times. He was almost convinced he had a mental disorder, but everything came back negative… which meant Gakuhou had pretty much just traumatized his child to the brink of insanity without causing any permanent—or maybe just noticeable—damage. “How about we sit on the couch and you try to sleep?” Karma nodded, taking a small step towards the couch… and then another… and then another. Seeing him look so scared of nothing was odd, but who knew what monstrosities his mind was capable of producing? He'd been through some pretty messed up situations in his life, so the shadows probably were fairly terrifying to their creator. So he allowed Karma to take all the time he needed, and by the time they made it to the couch, Karma seemed a little more relaxed. “Are they gone?”

He nodded. “They said they were scared of you.” 

Ouch. That… actually kind of hurt. Terrifying beasts Karma had concocted… were afraid of _him_? Ouch. It was one thing for Gakushuu to fear him… but Karma? “Are you afraid of me?” Karma shook his head, because no, he wasn't afraid of the man. There were only two people who made him afraid: Tadaomi and, as nice as he was, Gakushuu. Those were two people he never ever wanted to piss off. “Why were they afraid, then?” He shrugged; how was he supposed to know? Well… if they weren't Karma's subconscious, then what were they? It was definitely peculiar. 

While Gakuhou sat there, Karma tried to cuddle up to him because he was cold and still a little scared. The closer he was to the person the shadows feared, the better. Karma's head hit his shoulder and he glanced down at the fluffy red hair obstructing his vision. A warmth he'd never felt before… his family never really cuddled up to him, and for good reason. “When Daddy comes home and they're here, they flock around him.” Was that a sort of metaphor? Tadaomi brought the darkness, and the scary shadows all stemmed from him? “He tells me I'm crazy and flicks me in the nose.”

Looking at him, he could see that the tip of Karma's nose was pretty bruised. Poor thing. “You are not crazy, Karma. This is just a side effect of your medication.” The teen shrugged, like he didn't believe him. Was there more to the hallucinations than he was letting on? “Are you tired?”

There was a moment of silence before Karma shrugged again. “Kinda… but my head won't let me sleep.”

“Why is that?” So Karma told him: everything Gakushuu had done was bothering him. From seeing Touka naked, to hanging out with Touka, to her kissing him, and then they continued to hang out. “That does not sound like him.”

But Karma assured him it had happened, jarring the man as he spoke. “It's true! 'Cause his roommate was havin' sex with her to make Shuu mad and then he called me 'cause he hates sex! But I talked him inta walking in and acting like it was normal and then she showed him everything and invited him to her room! But he said no… 'cause he's a good boy. But he's still 'round her an' s'dumb.”

Hmm, that was very interesting to hear… of course he knew of Gakushuu's hatred of sexual intercourse due to the horrors he'd seen as a child, but did it still affect him so badly? As for having sex in the dorms, he was annoyed the security wasn't better. But so long as Gakushuu didn't do anything he shouldn't be, he didn't really care. “Touka Yada? From school?” Karma nodded. The man didn't exactly want her around his child, after all, he'd heard she had quite the reputation with the male population of the higher classes… but he had to work on not being so controlling. He couldn't do it anymore. Not if he wanted to keep his child in his custody. Right now he was on very thin ice, and one wrong move could shatter it. Not being in control of the current situation was difficult, but he was managing. All he had to do was keep calm, and breathe. Everything would be okay. He didn't have to control every aspect of his son's life. “Does he like her?” Please say no. Please say no. The man did not want to deal with any of that nonsense. 

“No… he said he doesn't like her. That I'm his only friend and I'm the only one he likes. I'm special,” he giggled, loving that he was considered special to Gakushuu. “You can't tell Shuu I said this, but he's _really_ hot! An' sometimes when we changed into our pjs I would watch him…” His face was so animated and his tone was along the lines of giddy. “He has a nice ass!” When Gakuhou just kind of blinked at him, Karma realized just who he was talking to and shrunk down. “Not that I was looking!” He quickly tried to take it back, a slightly horrified look on his face. Why did he say that!? Damn his stupid mouth, vomiting words he did not wish to say!

The man chuckled, “You literally just said you were looking, Karma.” Shit… Karma played it nonchalant and stuck his tongue out playfully. “Do you have feelings for my son?” What!? That question shut Karma up immediately and his entire face lit up bright red, all the way up to the tips of his ears and down his neck. “You know, I cannot say that I would mind having you as a son in-law. Most everything about you is up to my standards.”

Even though his face was currently as red as his hair and this conversation was beyond scary, Karma wanted to know more. “You…” He pulled at his bangs, twirling at the red strands anxiously. “You don't think I'm icky for liking boys?”

“No, Karma. You are not… icky…” His nose crinkled at the use of that word, but ended up smiling down at the boy. “For liking the same sex. You are still a person. Just because you are a little different makes you no less than anyone else.” That sounded hypocritical coming from his lips because Gakuhou was all about hierarchy and pinning people against each other. 

All Karma could do was nod, unsure of how to reply. So they sat in silence until he thought of the words to say. “I like Gakushuu… a lot, but I'm not allowed to. You can't tell Daddy, okay? I promise I'll make them go away somehow.”

That didn't seem right or fair to the child, but perhaps he could use this as an opportunity to weasel out some information. “Why?”

“Daddy doesn't want me to date.”

“What gives him any say over your love life?” Karma didn't seem to be willing to answer that one, but the man continued to press him. “He got onto you for being intimate with Rio, and clearly he does not want you around my son. So what does that mean?” Again, there was no response; Karma didn't have one. Not one that made sense… Gakuhou would see right through his lies. “You got quiet all of a sudden.” This conversation went sour quickly, so Karma pushed his face into the man's chest and continued to say nothing. Why? It seemed like a good idea at the time. “Why does Tadaomi not want you with other people, Karma?” He raised his voice, albeit slightly, which scared Karma more than he'd intended; was he going to get violent?

“Because… because… 'cause…” He couldn't think of a lie! “He doesn't want me to leave him.” A vague truth. 

Hmm… Gakuhou pursed his lips, absentmindedly running his fingers through Karma's hair. “Every child has to leave the nest someday…”

But Karma shook his head, “Not this one. He needs me. If I left he would go insane.” More insane than he already was, which was terrifying.

That was an issue for sure… why were they so close? What was the cause of this undying loyalty to Tadaomi? “That seems a little odd to me.”

“Well you're not exactly 'father of the year' now are you?” Karma quipped, hating that this was happening. When he got panicky and didn't know what to say, he could be a little snippy. “Sorry, that was mean.” 

Surprisingly, the man chuckled softly, shaking his head. “No, you are absolutely correct. I have not been a very good father… but I will be better.” Karma smiled a little, it was good to know he was trying… it was more than Tadaomi ever did for him. He didn't try anything; he always said shit would be better, but it never was. All lies. “As for Tadaomi, why does he not want his little bird to leave the nest?”

Karma just shrugged, finally a suitable answer had popped into his head. “I'm all he has left. His parents are dead, his extended family all live far away and hate him, and Mommy left him after cheating multiple times. If I'm gone, he has no one, and Daddy doesn't handle loneliness well, Gakuhou. It scares him.” To think anything scared his daddy was a big shock, but he could see why he was… no one really wanted to feel so alone, did they? Karma certainly didn't. Being by himself was okay sometimes, but all day, everyday aside from work? That would be miserable. “Daddy needs me.”

Gakuhou hummed thoughtfully, that certainly sounded good. But was it the truth? Was his father simply abusing and manipulating him into staying by his side, and making it so that Karma would never leave him to pursue happiness or love? Karma's head fell to his lap and his entire body went limp. Looks like he'd have to find out another day. The poor thing had to be exhausted; the bags under his eyes were dark. Clearly he hadn't been sleeping, and if he had been, it hadn't been well at all. It had to be hard having so many injuries at once; especially since both his back and his chest area were damaged to the extent that they were. 

While Karma rested in his lap, he waited there and read one of the books he had brought with him. Of course he came prepared because Karma was fairly unpredictable when he was in a mood like that. An hour passed when he heard the garage open, but he didn't move an inch. If Tadaomi got upset, so be it, but he wasn't disturbing Karma's very much needed rest. The door opened and closed; wine colored eyes glanced up at the man, but he paid him no mind. Must not have realized he was there yet… but how could he not when his car was in the driveway? Maybe he just didn't care. “Karma having issues?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Apparently he was seeing shadows and had a meltdown.” A gruff noise of affirmation was his response and that was that. “Is that a normal occurrence?” Another affirmative noise, and then nothing else. Gakuhou simply assumed the conversation was over and went back to his book. Tadaomi Karasuma was a strange one… that was for sure.

About half an hour passed before Tadaomi resurfaced, plopping down on the couch and tilting his head back. Goddamn he had a headache. “You can go,” he murmured. Not that he cared at the moment; this man was no threat to Karma and could be around all he wanted. So long as Karma kept his mouth shut, things would be fine. 

Gakuhou glanced up, noting he was now equipped with a bottle of expensive, high proof whiskey. “I am fine here,” he said after a moment, turning the page. Like hell he was going to leave Karma alone after this. Who knew what the guy would do once that alcohol kicked in?

“Whatever,” he shrugged, taking a swig out of the bottle. “Want anything?”

Wine colored eyes remained fixated on his book. “I do not drink.”

“You're missing out.” On what? But he didn't say that, he simply went back to his book, tense silence surrounding them again. These men didn't exactly like each other, but they had to stay civil or else their children would be taken away. Ten minutes passed before Tadaomi spoke again. “Why're you so nice to my kid when you hate your own?”

Hate? “I do not _hate_ Gakushuu, Mr. Karasuma. Our relationship is none of your business. As for my attachment to Karma, I do not know.” He honest to God had no idea why Karma brought out this side of him, but… it wasn't all bad. Having a good relationship with someone was a nice change. “Perhaps it has something to do with how much potential he has.” Potential? Yeah right. Any potential Karma had was wasted… it'd never be good for anything. _Karma_ would never be good for anything. “He really is a bright boy.”

Tadaomi choked back a laugh, glancing at the man, and then at Karma’s sleeping, peaceful face; it'd been quite some time since he'd looked so at peace while he was asleep. “He ain't motivated enough to do anything about it. That kid gets fired up over the most ridiculous things. Proving himself to you and your son. It is nothing but wasted energy.” What was so special about them anyway? They were fake and pretentious assholes. “Good thing we're going back to homeschooling next year.”

Now _that_ was not happening. “I do not believe that to be a wise decision. You do not want your son to resent you, do you?” 

Tadaomi rolled his eyes; like hell Karma would ever… wait, maybe he was right on this one. It was only two more years… and Karma promised to behave. Usually Karma wasn't one to really _want_ things, but he seemed pretty adamant about staying in school until he graduated. “Whatever. I'll think about it.” 

What a stubborn man… though Gakuhou was sure Karma would be in attendance next semester. When he took his fifth swig, Gakuhou sighed. “What is the point of drinking so much?”

“Takes my headaches away… helps me forget my problems.”

“It also influences you to harm your son,” he pointed out with a glare.

The man scoffed, “Oh yeah? Then what's your excuse?”

Gakuhou rolled his eyes, trying his damndest to stay composed. “I had my reasoning. Unlike you, I am working to change.” 

High and mighty piece of shit…! Another one down the hatch. “Mhm, good luck with that. I doubt your son will ever forgive you, whether you change or not.” Karma shifted a bit due to Gakuhou's tightening grip, which he loosened immediately when he realized what he was doing. Tadaomi's phone buzzed and he looked down at it, eyes glazed over. “Mm… you can take care of Karma, right?” Gakuhou simply nodded; the sooner this man left, the better. “Good. I hate being around him when he's like this.” He grabbed a jacket and his keys. 

“Do not tell me you are driving in that condition.”

“Nah, she's outside.”

“She?”

Tadaomi merely smirked as he slipped on his shoes. “I don't kiss and tell.” 

Ahh, so that was what he was doing. How irresponsible. Gakuhou simply nodded, and with that he was out the door. After a few moments of contemplation and harsh judging, he spoke to no one: “What a tool,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes and going back to his book while trying to be the best resting place he could be for Karma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve always liked the idea of a platonic/father-son like relationship with Gakuhou and Karma. Expect more of that.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. Thank you for reading, kudos and comments. I appreciate it.


	27. Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakuhou and Karma spend the morning and afternoon together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost 100k words... shit. This is what happens when I write: I can’t stop. It keeps going. With all of my stories. Seriously, I have multiple unfinished works I haven’t posted that are nearing 100k words, and one that’s over 400k words and even that one is not finished. But I will finish this one... one day.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for sticking around. It seriously means so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Karma woke up in the morning, very surprised to be resting on another person… especially when that other person just so happened to be Gakuhou Asano. What the hell happened last night!? He could barely remember a thing… something about shadows? Yeah, that had to be it. Why couldn't those damn assholes just leave him alone? “Good to see you are awake. Do you want breakfast?”

That was the least of his concern. “Have you been here… all night?” The man nodded. “Did you even sleep?”

“Sleep is highly unnecessary for me. I slept for about two hours and was just fine.”

What the hell was this guy!? “Question…” Karma blinked at him, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and stretching his hips a bit. “Are you a robot?” He asked with no sign of anything but the utmost sincerity. 

How amusing Karma was when he woke up. “I can say with 100 percent certainty that I am not a robot.” Karma blinked at him. Too many words for the morning, and the splitting headache he currently had wasn't helping. “Need your medication?” The teen nodded, trying to get up and succeeding… before his vision went black and he ended up stumbling backwards, landing on Gakuhou's lap, who let out an undignified “Oof!” That was most certainly not expected. Karma continued to sit there, not only because he still couldn't see, but to confirm something… no boner. Good, Gakuhou was a good man. 

Scrambling away as quick as he could, he bowed his head. “Sorry, I–”

“It is fine, Karma. You are still off balance and that is perfectly normal.” The man stood up and placed a hand on the teen's lower back, careful not to apply too much pressure as he led him to his room at a slow pace. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugged, “Pretty bad… I went out with Rio and Terasaka yesterday, and I'm really starting to regret not listening to Gakushuu when he told me not to overdo it. I was just so…” He trailed off, not about to tell the man he was irritated with his son for hanging out with Touka Yada. “Stubborn.” That was clearly not what he was going to say, but Gakuhou let it slide, knowing Karma wouldn't be so quick to talk since he wasn't all doped up like the night before. “Being hurt like this fucking sucks.”

“You could always stay with me, Karma. Gakushuu is gone for the month, and your father seems less than enthused to be around you while you are hurt.” Karma knew that… Tadaomi got really angry with him when he complained that it hurt too bad or when he started bawling, but he couldn't help that. Sex just wasn't something he could provide him with in this state, which pissed the man off. For Karma, it was a much needed, and appreciated, break. But he knew his daddy would be against him staying anywhere aside from his home… probably. He'd been a little more lenient since this big injury, which meant he probably did feel really bad about it. “I can talk to him.”

It wouldn't hurt… most likely. Tadaomi was still in that kind of unpredictable state where Karma wasn't sure of how to treat him. It wasn't a bad idea, but he wouldn't get his hopes up too high. “I mean, if he says yes, I wouldn't mind staying at your house.” Gakuhou wouldn't hurt him, not like Tadaomi would… for the first time in a while he'd feel safe. Sure the man was a monster to his own child, but he was working on that; he was _trying_ , which was more than he could say for his daddy. “Only if you're sure!” Karma didn't want to force himself on the man, especially since he liked his son; they had to get along, and Karma didn't want to give off a needy or helpless vibe. 

“Of course… I do not want Tadaomi hurting you more than he already has.” 

Right… Gakushuu had told him, now Gakuhou for sure knew about his situation. Dammit. But that didn't mean he couldn't downplay it. Karma pouted at him, “Daddy was drunk… it was my fault. You act like it happens all the—

“I am not _blind_ , Karma. You do not get those scars from just a few instances. Those have built up over the years.” Karma opted to stay silent; no sense in arguing with a man who was always right no matter what. Not that Gakuhou wasn't right this time, Karma just wished he didn't know as much as he did. Once they made it to his room, Karma was sat down on the bed while Gakuhou cared for him: gave him his medicine, helped him in the shower, treated his wounds, changed out his bandaging. Karma insisted he could get dressed by himself, but it was pretty hard for him: his shoulder ached after sleeping on it wrong, his ribs were killing him, and his ankle was still pretty tender. The only way he managed to do it was by sitting down and gritting his teeth. Being cared for and babied could get really annoying since it wasn't Gakushuu, but he lived with it; if Gakuhou wanted to help, then he could. Arguing would have been futile anyway considering Asano's weren't exactly the 'back down' type. 

By 10, they were finally finished with getting ready for the day and Gakuhou took Karma out for breakfast. Apparently it was the least he could do after everything, but Karma had an inkling that he just didn't know how to cook—or maybe he just didn't want to? Even though all the moving around was exhausting and made Karma want to die, he didn't want to look like a wimp and toughed it out. Besides, the medication worked well, despite making him a bit loopy. The majority of their outing, Karma sat in silence, gnawing on his lip or staring at his hands while clinging to his current caretaker. Honestly, he was just the funniest thing when he was all doped up. 

No matter how many times Gakuhou attempted to initiate conversation, he wouldn't speak; hell, he pointed to what he wanted on the menu because he was in a 'no talking' state of mind. He wouldn't talk to anyone who tried; instead, he just stared at them like they were crazy before going back to his hands. It was definitely strange, but Gakuhou didn't say much about it. The only time Karma opened his mouth was to eat… that was it. 

People gave him funny looks when he continued to stay latched to Gakuhou; most people knew the man, and normally his son wasn't attached to him like that. But Karma didn't care and continued to cling; the man allowed it because who knew what would happen if he strayed too far away. What if the shadows came back? It was easier to just ignore the looks and keep Karma calm. The only time Karma broke away from him was when his phone buzzed; that was the only time he made any sort of expression. Of course it was Gakushuu… he was the only person who could make the redhead smile like that. To think they used to hate each other… how humorous.

“What are you two talking about?” Gakuhou asked with a smirk. 

Karma's face went bright red, “Nothing!”

“You act like I do not have access to his text history.”

Dammit! He forgot all about Gakuhou… crazy parents were the worst. “He's just been asking if I'm okay and if you're being nice… stuff like that.”

“Any word on Touka?” If the 'oh shit' look on Karma's suddenly very pale face was anything to go by, he didn't remember much of their conversation from the night before. “You can be quite chatty when you take certain medications.”

Karma sighed, closing his eyes and nearly face palming at his own idiocy; curse him and his loose-lips! “I mean… he says she's been by his side since they… y'know,” he mumbled, clearly jealous over the whole thing. And the child wanted to rid himself of those feelings? Gakuhou knew that was not going to happen; Karma was in too deep. “I wanna go home…” He pushed his unfinished meal away from him and buried his face in his arms on the table… these feelings weren't normal for him, and he wasn't allowed to have them. Not if he wanted to be able to see Gakushuu… not if he didn't want to be locked away like some sort of prisoner, used and abused, hidden away from the world and everyone in it. 

The next time his phone buzzed, he didn't answer; he turned it off before shoving it back in his pocket. That was a bad idea, but he didn't have the energy to deal with this shit, and Gakushuu would pester him if he sounded sad or just flat out ignored him. The latter of which would not only worry him, but force him to communicate with his father. Hopefully he wouldn't care because Karma just… didn't want to mess with it right now. “Finish your food and we can go. If you do not, Gakushuu might hear about what you just did.” That got Karma's attention quickly; he stopped being mopey and ate the rest of his food without complaint. Getting in trouble with Gakushuu was never a good thing, especially when he was being ignored. 

When Karma was finished, Gakuhou paid for everything and they left, ignoring all he looks they received due to Karma not letting go of Gakuhou's arm, and heading back to the house. The drive was quiet because Karma refused to speak again and Gakuhou just let him be… he'd talk when he was ready. His phone rang multiple times while he was driving; man, his son certainly was persistent. After the seventh time, Karma reached over, grabbed the man's phone, and answered before Gakuhou could say anything. “Hello?”

First there was silence, but then someone spoke… and it wasn't Gakushuu. “Did I call the wrong number?”

Rather than feeling embarrassed, a wonderful idea popped into his head. “Oh, no,” he played it off quite cool, upping the charm to make it believable. “This is Gakuhou Asano's personal assistant, how can I help you?” He grinned over at the man when he gave him a scolding look. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh… oh yeah?” Karma listened intently, wondering what this was about. It clearly didn't have anything to do with the school. “I see.” Since there was no pen and paper, he'd have to commit it all to memory; hopefully he wouldn't mess up. “Yes, I know. The economy and whatnot,” he laughed, ignoring the fact that they were now parked at his house. “I will definitely have Dr. Asano get back to you on that. Thank you for calling. Have a good day.” 

The second Karma hung up, Gakuhou snatched his phone away and looked at who called him. Good, it was nothing important; just his business partner. Not only did he run a school, but a corporation. Of course he mainly focused on the school, thus why he would need a 'partner' in the first place. Otherwise he would have done it all on his own. “You should have looked at the caller ID first, Karma.”

The teen shrugged, “I didn't know you had another job.”

“Not too many people do. It would not look good if my attention was not solely on my school.” Then he smirked, “So, Mr. Personal Assistant, what did he want?”

This required thinking because Karma kind of already forgot… “I think I handled myself just fine. He says that um… something about… the uh…” Gakuhou almost started laughing at how hard Karma was trying to remember. The child could look so cute when he wanted to. “Oh yeah! He said a bunch of people want raises and are planning on… um… doing something?” The majority of that conversation went over his head, but he was sure he played it off well.

“Honestly, such below average people think that they deserve the world,” he muttered to himself before getting out of the car, slamming the door, and calling whoever that was back. Karma couldn't hear much of the conversation, but clearly Gakuhou was angry about whatever was happening. Eventually the man came back, turned off the car, and went around to help Karma inside. Since it seemed Gakuhou was now in a bad mood, Karma kept his mouth shut and scurried away as soon as they stepped into the house. “Karma, what are you doing?”

“Running away from you,” he said honestly, unable to think of a lie on the spot. “You're mad and—”

“Not at you. Get back here right now.” That tone left little to no room for argument. Pouting, Karma hung his head low and slowly sauntered back over. It was so strange being around a child so expressive… Gakushuu stuck to a few different moods when he was around his father: blank, annoyed, angry, smug, and occasionally unadulterated fear but that was only when he was hurting him. But Karma? He had an extensive variety of moods/emotions, both positive and negative, and he wasn't afraid to show them. They took a seat on the couch and Karma curled into the armrest despite the slightly uncomfortable ache it provided. “Stop pouting and look at me.” Though hesitant, Karma did so. “Stop being so timid all the time, Karma. There is absolutely no need.” 

He growled under his breath, muttering, “I don't like yelling, sorry.”

Of course that would be the case; like a small child, or an abused puppy. But here Karma was, 16 years old, and afraid of yelling or someone being mad at him. It just rubbed him the wrong way. “I apologize. From now on I will keep it away from you.” Not that Karma wasn't grateful, but he didn't want Gakuhou tiptoeing around him like that; he didn't deserve such kindness. “Are you upset with Gakushuu for being around Touka again?” If Karma's silence was anything to go by, then yes, he most certainly was. “Just be honest with him.”

Ha! That was so funny that Karma forgot to laugh. “Do you _want_ your son to hate me? God, you don't know him at all. If there's one thing he hates, it's being bossed around.” Especially by Karma; the only thing that made him angrier was when his reasoning was shoddy. If Karma had a shitty reason, it pissed him off immensely because that meant he was hiding the truth, thus implying that he was lying to him. And Gakushuu definitely didn't like being lied to. “Besides… Gakushuu could never like someone like me. He deserves far better than…” He looked down, motioning to himself, as if disgusted. “This.” Plus he just wasn't allowed to love anyone else; it was forbidden and Tadaomi would kill him _and_ the object of his affections. 

While Gakuhou wouldn't mind Karma being in his life more, he wasn't going to meddle in their romantic affairs; it simply wasn't his business and he was sure things would work out on their own. But he probably would put a stop to Gakushuu being around that girl; less controlling or not, she was a bad influence and would taint his perfect Gakushuu. “There is nothing wrong with you, but I will not press you any further. Do as you please.”

Relieved, Karma sank down into the couch with a tiny smile. At least someone gave him privacy and space when he needed it most. If he could stay with Gakuhou for the rest of the month, he'd be more than excited for it; after all, some space between him and Tadaomi would go a long way. Lately their relationship hadn't been all that great, so maybe when he came back they could reset and everything would be normal again. Hopefully… 

The next time Gakuhou's phone rang more than once, he figured it was Gakushuu. God dammit he was persistent! Why couldn't he take a fucking hint!? The man answered it after the third time with a sigh, “Gakushuu, what do you want?”

“Is Karma okay?” He sounded panicked, and worried. The things Karma could do to people who were normally so put together… it was baffling. “Father, he isn't answering me or even Manami or Rio. Please just—”

“His phone is off. He just needs some alone time. Leave him be.”

No way. Gakushuu didn't believe that; and even if it was true, that was no way to treat his best friend. “Tell him he better turn his phone back on or else there will be serious consequences.” 

That was amusing coming from his mouth, also a bit worrisome. “What gives you the right to threaten him? If he prefers not to talk to you right now, you should respect that.”

“Um, no. I'm his best friend and I will not be ignored. He will text me if he knows what's good for him.” Karma's face paled and his heart nearly stopped upon hearing this. Not wanting to get into anymore trouble, he turned his phone back on, replying to Gakushuu almost immediately while ignoring everyone else. “Ah,” he hummed, contented. “I guess he was right next to you.” Clearly he was pleased with himself and that little display of dominance over his supposed best friend. 

How irritating it was to see Karma act like this because of Gakushuu. He had no right to treat Karma that way, best friend or not. Without thinking, the man snatched Karma's phone from his hands and threw it across the room. “I just broke his phone, now stop bothering him. If you call me again there will be consequences, do I make myself clear?” Ahh, it felt so good to say those words again… to treat his son like that. Who knew how refreshing it could be to be so in control of another person after so long. 

Karma gaped at the floor where his phone was currently sitting after smashing against the wall, wondering if it seriously broke. How was he going to afford another one? Oh shit, his daddy was going to kill him. While he internally freaked out, the Asano's were going back and forth on the phone and neither one of them were happy. Had Karma been paying attention, he definitely wouldn't have liked all the yelling that was happening, but he was a little preoccupied panicking internally over his probably busted phone. It seemed Gakushuu was quite a bit braver since he was only on the phone with his father. When his phone buzzed he let out a relieved sigh. “Oh thank God,” he ran his hand through his hair, getting up to retrieve it before suddenly being pulled back by a strong, aggressive grip. 

“Leave it.” Golden eyes wide, he nodded quickly and stayed put on the couch, not moving another inch in fear of the consequences. “Karma will be in contact with you when he wants to be. And do remember, Gakushuu, Karma is _very_ loose-lipped when he is on his medication.” He gave an almost menacing look to the wall and Karma's face turned ghostly pale because why the fuck would he tell him that!? “Be sure to behave.” And that was that. End of conversation. When he looked over and Karma looked half-dead beside him, he raised an eyebrow. “Something the matter?”

His head turned almost robotically, panic in his eyes. “He's going to kill me.”

“He will not,” Gakuhou reassured him. “And if he does give you any trouble, you had better let me know right away. I raised him better than to do such things.” Of course Karma _wanted_ to argue that he raised him to be kind of pretentious and to think he was better than everyone else, but said nothing. It was none of his business, nor was it his place to say anything. “What do you normally do in the summer?” It didn't hurt to ask, and he figured Karma would probably be bored just sitting there doing nothing and being in pain. 

He shrugged, “I do an assortment of things. Draw, play video games, watch TV; just fuck around pretty much.”

That didn't sound very productive; not even close to how he and his son spent their summer. There was no down time for them, only work, work, and more work. Of course he figured Gakushuu probably allowed himself to have some sort of break, but he didn't exactly care to check. Gakushuu knew what he had to do, and if he stepped out of line or performed poorly, there would be harsh consequences. Any child would feel forced to live up to those steep expectations if they had Gakuhou as their father. “Nothing educational whatsoever?”

Karma smirked, “I mean… I read sometimes. Mostly it's just games and whatever Daddy wants to do, though.” 

How undisciplined were these people? Karma needed to keep his brain stimulated, even during the summer. It still amazed Gakuhou to see just how smart Karma was when he didn't try; it amazed him even more to know how smart he was when he did try. Considering how he grew up, it was definitely surprising that he could nearly tie Gakushuu on one of his worst days, and out score him at such a high level on one of his best days. “You should at least do something productive.”

Productive? Ew. That word and summer didn't mix. “I'd rather not, but thanks.” Besides, he was fine without it; after this last semester, he felt he'd earned a well-deserved break. Not to mention he studied up on everything and was probably more than prepared for junior year. “I think I'm good until school starts. You guys really fried my brain this past year.”

“I suppose you do deserve some sort of break. You certainly have been through a lot.”

He nodded, tilting his head back and laughing. “Must be the name. I'm cursed, I swear.”

Wine colored eyes went wide. “Please tell me that you do not believe in all that nonsense.”

Karma giggled a little, “I mean, I don't know, not really. But, who knows? When I was little, the older kids always called me a bitch because of the saying. Before Daddy, I was allowed to fight anyone who gave me shit.” Looking back on his childhood was not something he did a lot; his biological father was a dick and thinking about his mom just made him sad. An almost wistful smile appeared on his lips. “When I was six, I legit broke a third graders nose. Of course Mako got mad, but he certainly didn't do what Daddy did when it happened again.” Gakuhou figured Mako was his real father's name. When did Tadaomi even show up? “I was a pretty rowdy kid… always getting into trouble and trying to fight someone.” Realization took over Karma's face and he laughed humorlessly. “I guess karma really is a bitch, huh?”

“If you are trying to imply that you deserve this, then no. Karma, no one deserves what Tadaomi has put you through.”

Yeah… right. It just wasn't possible for Karma to believe that. Still, if that was the case, what about him? “Did Gakushuu deserve it?”

What did these people not understand about circumstances? That was an entirely different situation. Unlike Tadaomi, he wasn't an insane idiot who hit his child for no good reason. “I do believe that some of his punishments were well deserved. Others…” He trailed off, mainly thinking about some of the more recent incidents. “Not so much.”

“Like when you almost drowned him?” So Gakushuu had told Karma about the abuse to an extent. Not that he cared because he was done with it, it couldn't be proved, Gakushuu didn't want it known, and Karma would never tell and betray Gakushuu's trust like that. “What would you have done if he seriously died?”

Gakuhou pursed his lips… hmm, what would he have done? “No idea. Probably would have made it look like a suicide to be perfectly honest.” Suicide…? Karma's face paled; was that what he did with his wife? No, even Gakushuu confirmed that it'd happened, but he never explicitly stated how or whatever. Karma's morbid curiosity did urge him to ask, but he never did because Gakushuu seemed really uncomfortable on the subject of his mother's suicide. “But that never would have happened, Karma.” And he meant that; angry or not, that didn't justify murder. “Despite what Gakushuu says, I am not a monster.”

Yeah, Gakushuu would beg to differ, and so would Karma after everything he'd been told. But he decided to keep quiet; no need to stir up trouble or make either Asano upset. “I know…” he mumbled, curling up into the armrest so he could lay down and close his eyes. “Are you staying here like all day?”

He nodded, “I have nothing better to do, and I still need to talk to Tadaomi about you staying over until Gakushuu returns.”

Right… Karma hoped he'd say yes because a break was very much needed for both parties. “He should be home around 5.” It was only 12:45. “What do we do until then?”

“You could work on your Russian.”

Karma scowled at him, “I got a 103 on my final, Gakuhou. Clearly I know enough.”

“Yes, I know. You basically took two Russian courses in one year due to not being here your freshman year.” No one ever told Karma that! No wonder he always had so much extra reading and homework compared to the other students and Dr. Asano was always trying to work with him in study hall. He'd always been told it was because he was in trouble! By the look on Karma's face, clearly he had not been made aware of that. “Oh, did he forget to tell you?”

Forget!? No, he withheld it on purpose because he was a fucking jackass! Karma scowled at him, “Forget, my ass! That asshole has had it out for me since I got there! I'll kill that fat piece of shit!” While he grumbled and muttered insults to himself about his foreign language teacher, Gakuhou watched him with amusement. He really did get worked up over the littlest things. Though the foreign man really did hate Karma and oftentimes complained about him. Even during his bout of depression and withdraw from everyone… he complained and gave Karma an awful time. Maybe he should hire a new instructor… or simply teach the class himself. “Fucking dumb asshole. Next time he decides to be an ass to me, I'm gonna shove my foot up his dickhole.”

That almost had Gakuhou laughing, but he remained calm, simply smiling. “Calm down, Karma. No need to get so worked up.”

Though reluctant, he obeyed. “I'm just gonna play video games. You do whatever.” With that, he headed upstairs to get his ds, yelping when a hand that belonged to no one seemed to shove him forward. What the fuck was causing this to happen!? Gakuhou sprang up to investigate, sighing to himself when he found Karma freaking out and looking all over the place. Before he could speak, Karma had calmed himself down, rationalizing in his head that it was just his imagination because no one but him and Gakuhou were in the house. “It's all in your head. Don't be such a fucking wimp.”

Hesitantly, he pressed forward, still a little shaken up from the push. Gakuhou quickly came up beside him, placing a hand on his back just in case he were to fall; it would look really bad on him if that happened. It startled the boy enough to actually make him squeak, but his calm returned when he saw it was just the older Asano. “Do not be afraid to ask for help, Karma. I will do anything I can for you. It cannot be easy getting around when your body is so… broken.” Which it was, there was no way around it: Karma was basically a broken doll at this point. Clearly he knew it was true considering he didn't bother denying it. Of course he was a lot better than he'd been weeks ago, but he was still fairly injured. 

Being broken sucked… being bound by these tight, constricting, scathing chains sucked. All in all, belonging to his daddy… it really sucked. But he would live with it. He would fight through it. And one day, hopefully he could be happy whether he was still with Tadaomi or someone new. That was all he'd ever really wanted in life… at least some genuine happiness, without fearing for his life on a daily basis. Yes. Just a little joy would be fine. His hopes weren't set too high, of course, but he could always dream. 

The rest of the day was spent upstairs in his room, Karma's eyes were practically glued to his ds screen while Gakuhou read and did whatever on Karma's computer. The only thing Karma really used that for nowadays was schoolwork or games… he'd learned his lesson on the whole porn thing and would never ever do that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will continue where this one left off. Should be up later today or tomorrow.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. It is pretty late so I may have missed some. Thank you for reading, kudos, and comments.


	28. We are Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma being upset and confused, and Gakuhou and Tadaomi get into an argument over Karma's wellbeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gonna update earlier, but I forgot. Whoops. Anyway, here's another chapter. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

A little later than expected, Tadaomi returned home and Karma's heart nearly stopped when he heard him slam the door before stomping upstairs. Gakuhou was at his desk working, completely undisturbed, and Karma tried to look nonchalant, but he was terrified. Guilt flooded through him. Like he was doing something wrong just by allowing Gakuhou in his room even if he wasn't being bad. What if his daddy got upset? The second he stepped in the doorway, Karma tensed. “Karma, why haven't you been answering your phone?”

“Gakuhou said I had to stop bothering Gakushuu so he took it away. Sorry.”

The man looked a little perturbed, but didn't say anything more on the subject. Honestly he was glad that was the case because he didn't want his baby speaking to that little Asano brat anyway. “Hopefully you didn't cause too much trouble.” The boy shook his head slowly, gulping beneath that sharp, dark glare his daddy wore. Was he in trouble? Shit… “Good. Asano, would you like to stay for dinner?”

While he didn't really want to stay in this home any longer than he had to, he kept up his charismatic, charming façade and smiled. “Of course.”

Tadaomi kept up his act as well. “Wonderful. Karma, I picked up a bunch of shit from the store. See what you can do with it.” A typical dinner schedule: Tadaomi didn't know the first thing about cooking, so he just picked out a bunch of random shit he was pretty sure Karma had used before, and then Karma tried to work his magic. Their eyes met for a moment before Karma shut off his game and made a mad dash for the door. If he took too long, there was no telling what would happen. Sure Gakuhou was there, but Gakushuu had been there before and that didn't stop Tadaomi. This was absolutely miserable. Before he could go, Tadaomi grabbed his right wrist, making him tense up and yelp because that was his bad arm. “Oops, shit. You okay, baby boy?”

Tears brimmed those golden eyes, ready to spill at the slightest wrong touch, but he maintained them. “Mm,” he nodded shakily, trying not to move in any way that would hurt his body. “M'fine,” he forced a smile, but it wasn't believable—not that Tadaomi cared. The man hugged his son and sighed into his hair before allowing him to scurry off on his way. 

Wine colored eyes narrowed upon watching them interact, searching for something—anything—wrong, but was at a loss. All things considered, he had no idea how normal parenting worked, especially between a father and son. Clearly Tadaomi was abusive, but what kept Karma there? What kept him so afraid, yet so unconditionally devoted to such a horrid man? Once Karma was for sure gone, he spoke. “You have Karma do the cooking?” A talent like that didn't seem fitting for the redhead at all. 

“He doesn't mind it, and I burn anything I touch, so yeah. Even when his mom was still here, he did the majority of the cooking with her.” His eyes softened a bit before hardening once more, muttering something about Karma being a mommy's boy. 

Gakuhou hummed in response, pondering over just how long Karma has had to deal with this man and forced to do his bidding. “How long have you been in his life?”

Hmm… how long had it been? “He was about seven when we met for the first time. Then I married his mom when he was about… nine, I think it was?”

“And he stayed with his _stepfather_ after the divorce?”

Tadaomi smirked, laughing through his nose before responding with a nonchalant shrug. “I mean, it's not common, but it happens. Karma chose to stay with me, and Irina didn't put up a fight so long as she didn't have to pay child support.” Which just went to show how much Irina actually loved her baby boy. “Besides, I never would have let him go with Makoto; that asshole has serious issues.” 

Surely he was no worse than Tadaomi himself, but he did find himself wondering about Karma's past—even before Tadaomi. Had he always been abused? Why would his mother leave his dad, only to go back years later? And why would Karma choose Tadaomi over his own mother—his own blood. It didn't make sense to him. Love was stupid, Gakuhou internally decided, and he was glad he'd never experienced it. “I see.” He couldn't say anything else to that without getting hostile or aggressive because this man really hurt Karma and all Gakuhou wanted to do was protect that child. Tadaomi was a terrible father; at least Gakuhou wasn't constantly out sleeping with women or drinking. Even if he wasn't emotionally there, he was physically at home with his son the majority of the time. 

“Anymore questions, detective?” Tadaomi jived with a smirk. 

Of course he had more. He had a plethora of fucking questions for these people… but asking them was too risky right now. All he had to do was bide his time and wait for the right opportunity to find his answers. For now, he smiled that empty, fake smile and got up from Karma's desk, gathering his things and staring right at Tadaomi. “Just one.” The man raised his eyebrow in place of answering. “How do you sleep at night, knowing how much you have torn that child's sense of self worth and confidence to shreds?”

Damn… that was a good question. How could he sleep knowing that he'd basically ruined Karma as a person? Made him into a completely different kid. “Easy. Because I like him better this way. Less back talk, more obedience,” he smirked before turning his back. “You know how it is.” With that, Tadaomi went to go change into more comfortable clothes, leaving Gakuhou alone. 

Oh how Gakuhou hated that man. Smug bastard.

An hour or so later, Karma had finally finished with dinner and was working on setting the table. Since Gakuhou had been sitting at the dining room table already, all that was left was his daddy. Sighing, he took off his apron and headed to the stairs. “Daddy, dinner is done,” he hollered loud enough for him to hear. When a muffled reply met his ears, he went back to fix them their plates. He'd decided on potato casserole because he knew it was his daddy's favorite dish, and he really wanted him to say yes regarding the whole staying over at Gakuhou's house for the rest of the month. In all honesty, Karma was both physically and mentally exhausted being in this house and being around Tadaomi. The man didn't want to let up despite his injuries, and it was a lot to deal with; his body and mind felt totally drained. For once, he wished his daddy would actually be a _father_ and do what was best for his child. If only… 

At first, the three of them ate in silence, Gakuhou internally astonished by how good the food tasted. Karma certainly was gifted in all areas… if only he wasn't forced to be the way he was. It was disheartening to see such a bright, potentially very successful child be so submissive and afraid of everything. Karma was so nervous about the conversation that he could barely eat, just poking at his food with his fork and keeping his eyes down the entire time in fear of meeting that dark eyed glare. Tadaomi went back and forth from eating to his phone; it was only when he nearly started choking and shifted a bit that Karma looked at him. That face… he knew that face well. It was one he thought was only reserved for him. But this time it was aimed at someone else. Why did that… sting? His eye twitched and he stabbed into his food with a silent snarl, glaring at it like it just threatened to murder Gakushuu. Yet another girl was trying to take away what was his. It had to be a girl because he'd been told countless times that he was the only male that could make Tadaomi feel those things. Still, that wasn't fair… Tadaomi couldn't do this! If Karma wasn't allowed to be with anyone else, then he couldn't be either! 

Noticing Karma's anger, Tadaomi glanced over with a concerned look on his face. It'd been a really long time since he'd looked like that. “You okay, hon?”

“Peachy,” he forced out with a smile, shoveling food into his mouth to avoid any more of this conversation. Gakuhou noticed the change but was unsure as to what caused it. 

Tadaomi sighed, “Karma, you can't just—”

“I said I was _fine_ , Daddy.”

“Fine. That's the last time I try to help you, ya little brat,” he grumbled under his breath, going back to his phone with a scowl. 

Silence followed. None of them spoke nor looked at each other, and the atmosphere only continued to grow more and more tense as the minutes passed. It was suffocating to Karma because he still wasn't sure why he was so angry about this. He'd never really been a jealous person, so why…? Perhaps it was the mere concept that Tadaomi was sleeping with him, telling him he loved him and all that, but was seeking sex from some bitch because Karma could no longer provide it. Of course that pissed him off—it would piss anyone off! This only further escalated those feelings of being nothing but a toy… a now broken toy, who would take a while to be fixed. That was it…!

Since he was broken, Tadaomi found a replacement while his favorite toy was getting repaired. And it hurt. Being replaced so easily hurt… that was what made him the angriest. No, he takes that back, Tadaomi pretty much banning him from having feelings for another person while he got to go fuck anyone he pleased probably pissed him off the most. No, definitely. Because it wasn't fair. Then again, what about his life had ever been _fair_? It was stupid to think that would ever change. 

This unforeseen dramatic shift in mood was definitely a hindrance to how well this conversation would go, but Gakuhou decided he'd better get on with it before the two of them got too entirely upset with each other. Curiosity ate at his brain though, wondering what had caused this sudden shift in atmosphere. “Mr. Karasuma…” He eyed him confidently, the other merely hummed, raising an expectant eyebrow at him. “After last night, I have come to the conclusion that Karma would be better taken care of if he stayed with me.”

Mm… nope. Tadaomi couldn't see that happening. He'd rather Karma be alone and suffering than potentially be taken away from him by the scarily perfect man in front of him. What if he actually was after Karma's body? Even if it was in Karma's best interest, he couldn't let his boy slip through his fingers like that. “Karma is fine at home.”

“Is he?” He scoffed, appalled at how selfish and awful this man was. “If I recall correctly, you are at work all day, and then you come home to drink… and then you leave your injured, mentally unstable teenager alone to go have sex. That is—” Karma slammed his fork down and stormed off, not looking either one of them in the eye so they couldn't see all the tears falling down his cheeks. Gakuhou thought he'd maybe pinched a nerve calling him mentally unstable, but Tadaomi knew what it was really about. His baby was jealous that he was going out and getting sex from someone else. How cute. 

Now that Karma thought about it, he really was naïve to think Tadaomi wasn't with anyone else: he was gone like all the time, and sometimes he smelled off—even before he was hurt—and it wasn't like Karma could really check up on him to see if he was lying. It pissed him off. He thought his daddy loved him… _only_ him. That was what he said to him all the time; that he was the only one. Upset and confused, Karma needed someone to talk to; even if he couldn't be detailed, he just needed to vent. He retrieved his phone from where it'd lied the entire day, finding multiple messages from Gakushuu and his friends… and stupid Tadaomi. Most of them were from Gakushuu though, even after his father's warning. 

While Gakuhou and Tadaomi argued downstairs about where Karma should be and all that, the boy himself was curled up in the corner of his bed against the wall, lights off and curtains drawn, huddled in blankets and chewing his bottom lip. This was his safe place; this was the one thing that brought him comfort anymore. Tears in his eyes, he tried to suck it up and called Gakushuu. All this yelling really got to him, putting him back into that sad, dark place when he was a little kid and his parents fought. Everything was just piling up and he needed his best friend. The teen answered on the second ring. “Karma!”

“Hi Shuu,” he sniffled, trying not to sound like he'd been crying. But it was difficult. “Sorry about not texting or whatever. Your dad wouldn't let me.”

Just like that, his anger dissipated. By Karma's tone of voice and volume, it was more than obvious that he was pretty upset over something. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Of course Gakushuu saw right through him… Karma was terrible at hiding his feelings from him. Hell, he was terrible at hiding anything from Gakushuu. “No… your dad and my dad are fighting over me. And I just… it's been a really, really long week, Gakushuu.” All he wanted was to sit with his best friend again and ease his tired, worried mind. “I just wish you were home…” Embarrassing as it was to admit something like that, it was the honest truth; Karma wanted his best friend. 

Sighing, the male muttered something to someone else before speaking. “Karma, I—”

So he was with someone… that had the redhead panicking. Gakushuu was replacing him, too. Shit, shit, shit! No, that couldn't happen, he couldn’t lose him, too! “Who are you with?” If it was Touka, he was hanging up and calling Rio. He was so done with this shit… 

“That doesn't—”

“Who the fuck are you with!?”

“Touka, damn!” He snapped angrily, “It's not that big of a deal so stop acting like this every time I'm with her.” There was no response because what he didn't realize was that Karma had hung up as soon as he started yelling at him. “God dammit!”

Karma was freaking out; everything was going badly. Gakushuu was going to be pissed at him, their fathers were still yelling at each other, and it was all Karma's fault. All he did was make people angry and fuck things up. Gakushuu kept calling, but he was too panicked to answer. Texting would be okay, and thankfully Gakushuu figured as much. 

**Gakushuu**  
Why the hell did you hang up???? Call me back right now you idiot!

**Karma**  
You yelled at me… I'm so tired of yelling. I don't want to be yelled at anymore. I just want to go to sleep forever

**Gakushuu**  
I'm sorry… don't say that, Karma. I won't yell, just please pick up.

And Karma did. “Sorry,” he sniffled, shifting around to get comfy in his little nest. “I'm just not in a good place right now…” he admitted softly, squeezing the covers tighter, and closing his eyes; trying to imagine that he was anywhere but there. 

“It's my fault, don't apologize. I shouldn't have got so upset.” Gakushuu didn't want to make Karma feel even worse than he already was, so he would take the blame this time. It was just really frustrating when Karma got so angry because he was around Touka. What gave him the right to tell him who he could and couldn't be around? “Have you taken your meds yet? It's about that time.”

“No. I'm not leaving the bed.” All the yelling and fighting over him was taking a toll on his heart. “Our dads are fighting. I hate this.” 

Why would they be fighting? Not that Gakushuu asked because he wanted to take his mind off of this whole terrible situation, not add to it. Currently Karma's anxiety was through the roof and the other teen could tell; a panic attack was starting and he was going to do his best to stop it. “You will be alright, Karma, just take deep breaths.” He kept his voice steady and calm to try and talk the redhead through it, and it was working for the most part. 

During this, Tadaomi finally shouted loud enough so that the neighbors could probably hear, abruptly breaking Karma's concentration and calm. “You fucking know what…!? Fine! You win! Take that fucking brat! I don't want his pathetic, crybaby ass here anyway!” That was highly uncalled for, adding insult to injury only made Karma cry more. “Don't bring that useless fucking brat back until he stops being such a fucking baby about everything and stops hallucinating!” And then the front door slammed, startling Karma to the point that he jumped and let out a yelp.

Ouch. Karma's heart nearly stopped beating… Gakuhou had won somehow. But Karma knew that if he left now, his return would be brutal. It was a risk he had to take, though, because he could not be in this house for much longer if he didn't want to either lose his mind or get murdered. At least he would be safe with Gakuhou. All the two of them needed was some time apart and things would go back to normal… he hoped. “Daddy just left and told Gakuhou that he didn't want me here…” Feeling so unwanted and useless… it was an awful feeling. 

Despite how hard Karma tried to mask it, Gakushuu could tell that whatever Tadaomi said had really hurt him by how weak and vulnerable he just sounded. “So what does that mean?”

It meant he would be staying with Gakuhou, but he didn't tell him that. “I dunno. Can I call you later? I just… need some time.”

Even though he didn't want to get off the phone, he sighed. “Fine… call me in an hour or two. Okay?” Karma just whimpered in response. “Feel better, Karma.”

As soon as he hung up, Gakuhou walked through his door and turned on the lights with a blank look on his face. Clearly he was angry and it was hard to contain all of it within him. Losing his cool wouldn't be good on anyone. When the man realized Karma was tucked away in bed hiding, he poked his head in and spoke as calmly as possible, “Pack your things; we are leaving.” Karma nodded, obeying without question. Hopefully he wouldn't regret this. 

xx

The Asano residence was surprisingly smaller than where Karma and Tadaomi lived, which was confusing because he was pretty sure that the Asano family was just as loaded, if not more so, than his daddy. But he didn't say anything and simply followed Gakuhou to Gakushuu's room, where he would be staying. “I just redid everything in his room, so it is all clean.” Yeah, part of reforming was getting rid of the evidence and reminders of all the abuse. If he wanted to get better, he couldn't have those constant reminders all over the house or else he would be more likely to revert back. 

Karma looked around, noticing that everything looked fairly new and was insanely tidy; the Asano's were such neat freaks, he smirked to himself. Beforehand he knew it looked like his own room because Gakushuu had told him… even showed him pictures of some of the damage. It was like an entirely new room now. Seemed as though Gakuhou had really been taking advantage of his son's absence. “Do you not have a guest room or anything?” Not that staying in Gakushuu's room wasn't appealing, but he wanted to distance himself a bit. He couldn't go falling for the boy even harder, not when he was so easily replaced. One day, Gakushuu would come to his senses and leave him; Karma was sure of it. 

“Unfortunately this is the only other room with a bed.” Karma just nodded and sat down on the bed while Gakuhou began to unpack his things. Not that he didn't appreciate the help, but he didn't want to make the man do that for him; he was a big boy. Before he could say anything, Gakuhou spoke. “Do not worry, I will take care of everything while you are here.” Practice makes perfect, and Karma had always brought out his fatherly side. Now, he needed to embrace it and face it head on. Being a father was more than what he had been doing in the past, and he needed to change. _You need to change…_

The genuine look of concern on his face just went to show how hard he was trying to be better, so Karma couldn't find it in him to argue. Instead, he stayed silent and curled up on the very comfortable bed; it was way softer than his own and he was jealous. And the pillows? So comfy. Gakushuu would probably never want to leave his bed when he returned home. He buried his face in one and just sighed… it kind of smelled like Gakushuu, but just the part of him that smelled like detergent, which was his clothes. There was none of his natural scent, which was disappointing—wait, no it was not! Because wanting to smell Gakushuu would be weird and creepy; Karma wasn't a creep!

“Karma, I am putting your undergarments and socks in the top drawer, away from Gakushuu's. Your pants are in the bottom drawer, and I will hang your shirts in the closet after I go find more hangers. For as little as Gakushuu wears them, he has a lot of casual clothing.” Honestly, why did Gakushuu have so many shirts? When did he get them because Gakuhou certainly didn't remember buying them. All he got was an unintelligible noise in response, which was okay for now because tonight was surely pretty hard on Karma. By how Karma acted that night, it seemed the teenager was actually pretty sensitive when it came to people fighting over him… which was most likely due to his parents. Not that Karma would be admitting that anytime soon. Or ever. Probably ever because he liked to put on a brave face nowadays. “Are you feeling alright? It is about time to take your medication.”

Karma nodded absently, not really processing the words spoken to him. “Mm, yeah.” The man sighed, simply letting him be and giving him the proper medication for the night. Unfortunately, that small sentence was all he got out of him for the rest of the night. 

After showing Karma where everything was and explaining to him how a typical night usually went for him, Karma gave him a tired nod and retreated back to his current room… _Gakushuu's_ room. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't sure if he was excited, nauseated, or a little bit of both, to be sleeping in his crush's room. His _bed_. It was kind of nerve wracking. Since he didn't take the medication that usually made him see things, he felt comfortable enough to call Gakushuu after changing into his pjs, turning off the light, and curling up in bed. 

“Hey, it's about time,” he huffed, clearly a little annoyed but holding back because Karma was going through a lot at the moment. “Is everything okay now?”

“Mhm,” Karma nodded, trying to sound chipper, but failing. Hard. Because nothing in his life right now was okay: his daddy pretty much hated him and didn't want him home, Gakuhou of all people was taking care of him, and he was sleeping in _Gakushuu's_ fucking room! All of this was pretty damn overwhelming for the poor sixteen year old boy. But so long as Gakushuu was there to make him feel better and help him through it, things would be pretty alright. “I'm just… exhausted, y'know?”

And Gakushuu did know; not that he'd admit it aloud, but he found himself worrying about Karma almost all the time. After everything he'd found out, it was hard for him not to be. “I can come home, Karma. If you need me to, I really can.” He didn't want him to get that low again… to feel like suicide was his only way out. Gakushuu promised he would be there for Karma, and he wasn't planning on breaking that promise anytime soon. 

That was so, so sweet. Just knowing that Gakushuu cared about him so much made him incredibly happy… but if Gakushuu came home now, shit would be awkward. “No, you're fine. I'll manage without my little nurse somehow~” The teasing tone of voice did little to convince Gakushuu that Karma was really okay… but he didn't say anything. Even though he really, _really_ wanted to say something, if Karma needed space, then so be it. “You do realize I've been going through shit like this pretty much my entire life, right? I can last a couple more weeks without you, Gakushuu.” Of course he _could_ , and would, last without Gakushuu by his side… but that didn't mean he _wanted_ to be without him. It was times like these that made Karma question everything… why did he feel like this towards Gakushuu but no one else? 

“I know that!” He snapped back, rolling his eyes and flopping back on his bed. Ryuu was jamming out again, lucky for him, so he didn't have to worry about him eavesdropping. “I just… I want to make sure you're safe. Knowing you're alone with that bastard scares the hell out of me.” Now he knew what that horrible man was capable of and what he would do even when they had company; who knew what he would do next? Tadaomi was so unpredictable and psychotic… Gakushuu hated him so, _so_ much for hurting his best friend. 

A genuine, heartfelt smile graced Karma's face in the darkness; having a best friend like Gakushuu was wonderful. “I um…” He wasn't sure if he should tell him the situation because who knew what he would do? What if he tried to come home because he didn't trust his father or something? That would be bad because his daddy wouldn't want him anywhere near Gakushuu during the night if he wasn't there as well. “I'm actually staying with Manami,” he lied through his teeth, praying to anyone listening that Gakushuu didn't see through it. “Daddy kicked me out.” As much as he wanted to say Rio because she would be far more willing to lie for him, Gakushuu would have gotten pissy with him if he'd been staying with her. For what reason? Karma hadn't the slightest clue, but oh well. 

At first Gakushuu was quiet, nothing but steady breaths on the other line that made Karma want to take it all back and just tell him the truth. But eventually he spoke, “Oh… I um,” _don't want you staying at a girl's house_ , “I'm glad you found somewhere to stay.” Why couldn't Karma just ask him to come home so that they could be together and Gakushuu would take care of everything? It was dumb… Karma was dumb. The fact that he was pretty sure that he _liked_ Karma was dumb. It would be awesome if he could just get over whatever the hell these feelings were already. 

“Yeah… your room smells nice,” he muttered into the pillow. Wait. Shit. Why did he say that!? Why the hell did those words leave his mouth!?

“You're… sleeping in her room?” Oh good, he didn't make all that out clearly. 

Karma blinked… why did Gakushuu sound so weird now? “Am I… not supposed to?”

More silence, and then a shaky breath. “Do you like her? Like… would you do what you did with Rio, with her?”

Ew! Karma nearly choked. “God, _no_ , Gakushuu! I would never think about doing that with her ever!” He tried to keep his voice down so Gakuhou wouldn't hear him, but he had a feeling the man wouldn't have bothered checking in on him anyway because he was probably busy. Even at night, he was always busy doing something—anything. All the new information he learned really made him question if Gakuhou Asano was actually a human or not. 

Relieved by his genuine answer, Gakushuu smiled a little. “Oh… good, because you shouldn't use girls for sex, Karma.” But what if Karma was lying…? What if he got so flustered because he had every intention of sleeping with her and was shocked Gakushuu found him out? No… Karma wouldn't lie to him like that. Right? Ugh… having such strange feelings towards his best friend was terrible. Why couldn't they just go away? He hated feeling so envious when he had no reason to be. Karma just… brought out his possessive side. 

It was one time! Why couldn't the guy just let it go!? And it wasn't even with Manami! “I know, Gakushuu. I couldn't do that to Manami… not when I know how she feels about me.” Of course he knew that she still liked him… it was obvious now that he wasn't as dense when it came to her and how she acted. “That would shatter her.” When the sex actually meant something to one person while the other person couldn't give less of a fuck and just wanted some ass, it hurt the emotionally invested one. And Karma would never hurt Manami; he'd never hurt anyone if he could help it. 

Gakushuu felt anger bubbling in his stomach; why did he care so much about Manami? It was annoying. But he didn't say anything. “So she still likes you?” He hadn't noticed; honestly, he tended to ignore her and pretend like she didn't exist. Right now, he would much rather her not exist. 

“Oh? Yeah… I guess. It's not like I return the feelings so, it doesn't really matter, y'know?” It made Gakushuu very happy to hear those words. “Even if I did, Daddy would kill me.” That was very true because Gakushuu knew how much that bastard hated her… it was weird, though, because he still didn't entirely understand Tadaomi's hatred for her, and Karma wasn't the best at explaining it. “I'm tired, Shuu.”

Clearly. The biggest tell was when Karma referred to him by his nickname. It only happened when his inhibitions were lowered and he was vulnerable on his meds, exhausted from the toll they took on his broken body. “I guess you should get some rest.” 

“Mhm,” he yawned, letting out an adorable squeak as he stretched. 

“Text me when you wake up. Good night, Karma. Sleep well.”

“Mm, night night Shuu. You too.” With that, he hung up and curled up, grabbing one of the bigger pillows and wrapping himself around it. “Love Shuu,” he mumbled into it before falling fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. Karma will finally have a break from Tadaomi. If only that meant everything would be perfect. Next chapter should be up within a day or so since it is mostly edited. It’s long and things get shitty for Karma, as per usual. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, my eyes started getting really tired when I was looking over the last half. Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I appreciate it.


	29. (Please Don't) Kiss and (Definitely Don't) Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma is feeling jealous and lousy after Gakushuu tells him some news, so he copes with it the way he knows how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long ass chapter this time. Tried to really get in Karma’s head... it turned out decent, I think. Also, Rio's brother's name is Rome in this; it was the first name that came to mind and I stuck with it. It’s always such a struggle coming up with chapter titles; like why?? Ugh. Oh, would you look at that, it's 3 a.m. Awesome.
> 
> Warning: Attempted rape/non-con

June 17th; 8:58 p.m. 

I don't know what to do. Currently my eyes are burning with tears, my hands are shaking, and my mind is racing. This is fucking unbelievable. Unthinkable. My chest aches from something other than my injured ribs as my heart tries to escape from within me, rapidly pounding. Stomach feels like it's about to come out of my throat. Searing hot pins and needles feel as though they're poking at my insides. Fuck, I think I'm gonna be sick. Why is this happening? Why am I so upset? This isn't normal. First Daddy, and now _this_!? It's not fair. It's always like this! Why am I never good enough? Fucking why!?

A broken sob escapes my throat as I curl up in the corner. Just being in that bed makes me sick. I can't believe he'd lie to me like that… my phone keeps going off but I'm not answering it for anything—no matter what. Even if Gakuhou comes in and tells me to reply, I fucking won't because fuck his son, that's why. Tears stream down my face without restraint, clouding my vision and blinding me with misery. All I can see is… _that_ when I close my eyes. And it hurts. It hurts so much. Anyone else would think I'm being ridiculous, but I still have feelings for him… so just knowing he made out with that fucking whore…! It pisses me off.

Yeah. Gakushuu fucking Asano made out with Touka Yada last night and he… he… _touched_ her in places he shouldn't have. Now I know how Daddy felt when I was with Rio, and it is fucking miserable. The worst part? He said he liked it… said he was normal… said he got hard. Which completely crushed me and my little heart. The one person I finally like… and he's not only straight, or _normal_ as he so insensitively put it, but likes a girl that I cannot compete with. She's absolutely gorgeous… and I'm just… me.

Well, at least this helps me get over my stupid feelings that never should have happened in the first place. If I was spiteful enough, and she was willing, I'd probably make out with Manami and tell Gakushuu all about it since he seemed rather annoyed that I was supposedly staying with her. But that would be incredibly douchey of me and I would never hurt her, so I won't be attempting that route of revenge. To get over these feelings I have for Gakushuu all the way, one of two things needs to happen: I have Daddy take care of it, or Rio. But Daddy hasn't been answering any of my calls or texts, not to mention he hurt me just like Gakushuu did, so that leaves me with one option. My best, most willing option. 

But first, I need to cry. A lot. Just get it all out of my system now so I can focus on getting over Gakushuu later. Across the room, my phone continues being noisy, vibrating so much that it could probably pass as a dildo, but I pay it no mind; it was thrown away from me for a reason. Maybe thirty minutes later it finally stops, and thirty minutes after that I'm still bawling because I am absolutely crushed. Of course I knew something like this would happen because Gakushuu is way too fucking good for me, but so quickly? And to a girl he told me not to worry about!? It hurts. Fuck Gakushuu Asano and his stupid perfect face… and body… and ass. Goddamn, his _ass_. Stupid, lying piece of shit. Just like Daddy. 

Okay, that was a little much. Daddy is worse, far worse, but Gakushuu really hurt me with this one. He had to have known at least a little that I liked him; apparently doped up Karma is very honest. So if this was his way of turning me down, then it was shitty and I hope he never talks to me again. God, why is this happening? What did I do that was so wrong to deserve everything I've been through? Like, the universe is telling me I can't be happy, so I might as well give it up now. Maybe the universe is right… maybe I should give up on love and happiness and just deal with Tadaomi for the rest of my life. Because that's what I deserve. That's all I'm good for. 

An hour later, Gakuhou knocks on the door and I'm still sobbing in the corner, curled up with one of stupid Gakushuu's blankets because I have nothing else to warm or comfort me in this depressed state. I want to go home… I want my bed. “Y-Yeah?” I try to keep my voice steady, but it ends up cracking anyway. 

“You alright?” 

“M'fine…” No I'm not. Your son is a total mega dick face and completely shattered my heart. Like, it's bad enough that he did it, but did he really have to tell me about it? And in such detail? Just hearing him sound so excited about the whole ordeal, like the fact that he was 'normal' or whatever, it hurt like a bitch. Because what does that make me? Not that I can tell Gakuhou that. 

“Gakushuu seems to think otherwise.” Of course that asshole would bring his father into this. He opens the door despite not being invited in, finding me in a terribly pathetic, vulnerable state. And it's his house so he has every right to barge in, but it's embarrassing to be seen like this. “You are definitely not fine. What happened?”

But I shake my head, because I can't tell him; Gakushuu would kill me if I told him, he already threatened me. Plus I already promised that my lips were sealed and I won't got back on that despite how much it hurts. “Nothing. Can you please leave me alone?” Any other day and I would appreciate that he was here to wipe my tears, but I just… I don't want pity or anything right now. “I promise it's not a big deal and I'm overreacting.” But to a teenager like me, it really does feel like the end of the world. My best friend, my crush, my knight in shining armor… is no longer any of those things. Because I wasn't good enough. I'm an unwanted presence that anyone could live without. Karma Akabane is…

Useless. Worthless. Nothing. 

Thankfully he doesn't press me any further on the issue, but he does come inside and sit down next to me, petting my hair gently. Surprising as it may sound, Gakuhou and I have bonded a lot more over course of my stay… be it eating together or talking about our days, or just sitting in each other's company while we read or work or I play games. If I hadn't known of how he was beforehand, he probably would have seemed like the perfect guy. Must be why he had so many people fooled back then… but he's changing now, and I'm glad. Who knew he could be so kind? “You do not have to talk about it, then. If you would prefer me to leave, just tell me.” 

And I'm crying all over again. All the while, he holds me close, shushing me and telling me everything will be alright as he runs his fingers through my hair. Damn, for a man so cruel, he comforts people pretty well. My head rests on his chest, shaky hands tightly grasping his tee shirt. Yes, even Gakuhou Asano dresses down during the night—I was surprised too. Who would have thought he didn't wear a suit to bed? Usually that thought would cheer me up, but not right now. His heart beats slowly and gently in my ear, resonating throughout my body and relaxing me. Despite my depressed mood, having Gakuhou here is actually pretty nice. Usually I'm left to comfort myself when I'm upset, so it's nice to finally have someone to rely on. 

We were quiet for a very long time, the two of us sitting on the floor; me seeking his warmth, and him just wanting to be there for me in my time of need. “Thank you,” I whisper, voice hoarse from crying so much. 

His fingers continue combing through my hair as he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of my head… just like Mommy used to do when I was little. “You are like a son to me, Karma. It was no problem.” Rather than making me angry like it probably would have in the past because of how awful he was to his actual son, I accept it and embrace him snugly. A chuckle reverberates through his chest, sending a warm fuzzy feeling throughout my body. Is this what having a father is like? If so… I like it. If only Daddy could have been like this with me from the very beginning. Now it's too late, and we're stuck the way we are; awful as it is, it's my life. My fate was sealed long ago, and any chance of happiness is long gone. 

Years ago, Karma Akabane took his mother's place, so it's only natural for him to do the exact same shit she did whenever Tadaomi pulls the same stunts he had in the past. But I'm also not like my mommy in the sense that she left and ended up hating him. Because I could never do that. I may be my mother's son, but I'm not a monster. 

Thus meaning, I'm still going to be hopelessly devoted to Daddy, but if he thinks he can go out and be with a bunch of bitches and get away with it… he's sadly mistaken. Losing Gakushuu was the last straw… if the men in my life that I love are going to treat me this way, then they don't deserve my undivided attention and love. If I want love, I'll have to get it elsewhere, from people who actually want me around and don't hurt me. As long as I'm sneaky, they will never find out… especially Daddy because if he finds out, it's game over. 

“I think I'm gonna go to sleep now… is that okay?”

He sighs, ruffling my hair and helping me to my feet. “Are you sure you do not want to talk about it?” I nod. “Very well. See you in the morning, Karma. Good night.”

One more hug, just because I like the feeling of being cared for in such a domestic, platonic way. “Night Gakuhou. Thanks for everything.” He smiles at me, bidding me another good night before leaving me to my own devices. As much as I hate lying to him and betraying him, I grab my phone and call Rio. 

It's loud wherever she is. “Hey Karma,” she answers finally. “What's up? You don't usually call this late.”

“Yeah… I just…” How does one do something like this? Last time I was so depressed that I didn't care who I hurt, but now? This makes me no better than anyone else if I use her for sex. “I just…” Maybe I shouldn't do this. Sex isn't the right way to go about this, especially if Rio still likes me. Hurting her to make myself feel better would just make me feel even more guilty after the fact. Unlike Daddy and Gakushuu, I have a conscience. “Was bored.”

She laughs a little and I plop down on the bed, closing my eyes and running my hand through my already messy hair. “Oh really? I think I have just the solution.” Her smug, suggestive tone makes me gulp. Is she… serious? “I'm at a party right now. You don't have to drink or anything, but you can totally come.”

Ooh, a party? I don't know. Gakuhou would be pretty disappointed if he found out… and Daddy probably wouldn't care because he knows me and my stance on drinking. Not to mention he kind of hates me right now and doesn't give a shit about me since I'm nothing more than a broken toy at the moment. “Um… I don't know, Rio.” The party scene is definitely not one I'm comfortable with… a bunch of drunk people who could potentially rape and/or hurt me. Sounds like a terrible time, to be frank. 

“Then how about I pick you up and we go somewhere?”

Same tone as before… is she actually implying that she wants to have sex? “Like where? You're not too drunk to drive, right?” It's not as though she sounds drunk, but I’d like to make sure; I don't want to endanger either one of our lives.

“I only had a few sips of beer, so no, Karma. I assure you that I am fine to drive.”

Okay, that’s good, then. “Are your parents home?” Was that too forward? 

There's muttering and a door slams before she lets out a content sigh, refocusing her attention back on me. “Nope, out of town on business until next Wednesday.” Damn… is she alone a lot? “My older brother is unfortunately home for summer break, though.” Dammit. As if somehow sensing my disappointment, she lets out a mischievous laugh. “Fear not, my beloved ginger baby, he couldn't care less who I sleep with.” When I nearly choke because I didn't expect her to be so forward about that, she laughs. “He still owes me for not telling my parents he came home drunk and high like all the time. So he can deal.” By her tone, I can tell she's grinning like she always does when she's scheming or reminiscing on all of her bullshit. 

“We don't have to have sex, Rio. We can just hang out if you want.” Because I don't want to make it seem like that's all I'm after; honestly, I'm really not, not to mention I don't want to have sex if her brother is there. But it'd be nice to be with a friend right now… someone who makes me feel like I'm not worthless. 

At first she's silent, but eventually she speaks. “Oh… oh shit, yeah…!” Why does she sound so surprised? Does she really think I'm so terrible? Sure it was about that at first, but then I regained my composure and started thinking with my head rather than my jealousy. “We can totally just chill at my house. I'll pick you up from Dr. ASSano's house now. See you in like ten minutes.”

“He's not that bad, Rio. Be nice.” She just laughs again before hanging up. Well… I'd better get ready. Hopefully I won't regret this.

xx

Sneaking out was relatively easy… aside from almost falling off the roof, that is. Rio nearly died laughing before running over and helping me down. Unlike her, I don't sneak out of my house on a near nightly basis—not to mention, it wasn't even _my_ house, and I'm still kind of injured, which made it even harder for me. Now we're in front of her house and I'm nervous because what if her brother is awake and sees me? “Stop worrying, Karma,” she grins, leaning over and kissing my cheek. “He's actually really cool.”

Well… if she's confident he won't rat us out, then I suppose I should trust her. Still, I can't believe she has a brother in college; before now, I didn't even know he existed. “Whatever you say. But you know how my dad is.” Out of everyone, she gets creeped out the most when I call him daddy, so I've stopped around her. Still dunno what the big deal is. 

Rolling her eyes, she shuts off her car and gets out, motioning for me to follow. So I do, gathering my courage as we walk up to the front door. Her house isn't big by any means, but it's not small either. Though it is in a kind of bad neighborhood… not that I care because people tend not to mess with me. Both Manami and Gakushuu say I can look pretty scary, but I don't see it. The second we step inside, we're greeted with mutterings of 'die die die!' and things of that nature. “Rome, keep your fucking yelling down!” Holy shit, is his name really Rome!? Rome and Rio… that's wonderful. 

His reply is drowned out by the slamming of the door and us kicking our shoes off, heading upstairs. Rome has light brown hair and the same bright blue eyes as Rio, he's also pretty fucking built, like holy shit. Talk about attractive. When our eyes meet, much to my surprise, his light up like he's seen Heaven and a grin spreads across his face. “You good at FPS games?”

Ooh! Shooting the shit out of everything sounds like the perfect way to take my mind off of my shitfest of a life. So I look to Rio, who smirks before smacking my ass, “Go for it.” After shooting her a glare, I scurry over to her older brother and he hooks up another controller. 

As he hands it to me, he gets a good look at my eyes and grins. “Dude, are you fucking high?” He asks, seemingly kind of impressed. 

“Yeah he is,” Rio says as she plops down next to me, scooting in close. “On a shit ton of pills.” Honestly I don't think I'm high… my eyes are just bloodshot from crying nonstop for like two hours. Not that I feel particularly inclined to mention something like that. 

Rome nods in approval, “Very nice. I'm more of a weed guy, myself.” He motions towards his bong and baggie of weed on the table and I just kind of blink. Drugs are illegal. Shit, we gotta badass over here. Not that I should have been too surprised because Rio has told me loads of times that she smokes weed. 

Before I can explain that I'm only kind of high because I'm injured, and I'm honestly not on that many pills, he starts talking about the game and explaining shit. Oh well. We start playing and I'm actually pretty surprised at how well I'm doing because currently my eyesight is shit due how much I've been crying tonight. Karma is not so unlucky tonight! All this violence is really making me feel better after the bullshit situation with Gakushuu, who is still texting me occasionally, probably complaining and angry with me. But who cares!? Right now I'm upset and he should respect that I want some space. There's no way he didn't know that I liked him, so he can fuck off. 

As we play, Rome drinks beer and some other stuff I've seen Daddy drink before, offering the two of us some almost every five minutes, that I politely decline because I will never drink again… Rio simply grabbed a wine bottle and took a gulp. Round after round, Rome gets drunker and louder, while Rio stopped after the first bottle of wine and a few beers; which must have not been enough for him because he called her a pussy for wimping out on him. The two of them have been bickering back and forth while we play, but I don't mind it all that much because it's a nice, humorous distraction from the hell known as my life right now. At first I was nervous because of how much alcohol they'd been consuming, but now I don't care; they aren't anything like Daddy when he drinks! Rather than angry and mean, they're loud and goofy. 

About an hour or so into it, Rome is more intoxicated than I was when I took my meds with alcohol, and Rio has become bold enough to move onto my lap; I'm playing around her, which is harder than it looks. But I don't mind the upped difficulty because she's warm and I like it when she plays with my hair, or kisses me when I do good. Apparently Rome is unhappy with it (despite how awful he's doing because he is very much intoxicated at the moment), though, because he yanks on Rio's blonde hair. “Rio, you're messing him up.” Because she's Rio, she shoves him and cuddles up to me more, going so far as to straddle me and wrap her arms around my neck. “Seriously?” From the corner of my eye, I can see him watching me… very intently. It's uncomfortable being under such an unrelenting, calculating gaze like his. It's almost like he can see through me. “Rio, just a few more rounds and then you can go be gross~” He gives her a good, hard punch to the thigh while gagging playfully. 

With a high pitched whine, she swats at him before pouting. “Fine. Karma, I'm gonna shower.” I nod and she kisses me once more before removing herself from my lap and twirling off. She really can be a dork sometimes. Honestly, it's kind of endearing and I find myself smiling fondly after her. 

The next round starts and I can finally play a little better now that Rio is not obstructing my view or shifting around in my lap to purposely tease me. The shower starts and I relax a little because now Rio isn't here to grind on my dick and I can actually focus. It starts off really good, and by the time we're finished, Rome puts me in the gentlest headlock I've ever been in. “Damn kid, you're good.”

“Thanks…” I mutter sheepishly, squirming out of his, not surprisingly, very strong hold and awkwardly grabbing a the back of my neck. These games have always come to me pretty naturally for some reason—pent up rage, maybe?

“You're not Rio's boyfriend, are ya?” I shake my head and give him a curious look because why would he care? “Good… good.” And then he pins me down on the couch and kisses me. The alcohol and smoke are strong on his breath, and I can't tell if he's just really intoxicated or if he actually wants this—he has been eyeing me an awful lot tonight. The most important question here is if _I_ want this. Which… no, I don't. Attractive as he is, I'm not doing this with a stranger. Especially a drunk stranger. When I push him away, he frowns. “Dude, my sister was on your dick for like thirty minutes and you barely flinched. You can't tell me you're straight.”

Of fucking course. Is it really that obvious? But he is wrong. “I like Rio, and I had a boner almost the entire time.” A semi-boner is still a boner. Besides, she's prettier now than she was in the past, and her grinding on me like that did excite me a bit because, I mean, how couldn't it? Hormones and all that. Plus, Rio is the only female I feel comfortable enough around to have sex with. “While I prefer guys, it's not like I can't get it up for girls.” Granted, only one girl, but he certainly does not need to know that. 

“Which means you _are_ into guys?” I nod, trying not to blush as his hand creeps down my body, running up and down my thigh. It has been about a month since the incident, so I'm a lot better now, and the meds took away the majority of the still lingering pain, but my body still aches a bit in some areas. “Then you shouldn't have a problem with this.”

There are a multitude of problems with this, but the biggest one is that I don't know or trust him, nor do I feel comfortable with him. There's also the fact that the moment he sees what's underneath my shirt, he will either want an explanation, or bolt. “Rome, get off.” How old is he anyway? Old enough to be in college… so what would a college student want with a 16 year old? Probably just thinks I'm an easy fuck or something. 

“C'mon, Karma. Don't be like that. Let me take care of you.” His warm lips start kissing on my neck as his hands try to pull up the hem of my shirt. Because no one is allowed to see me like that, I squirm away from him; he can't see my body! “Kid, wouldja stop?” Not making it easy for me, he straddles my hips and pins my arms above my head, restricting most of my movement.

What!? _I_ need to stop!? Is he a fucking moron? “Rome, please. I don't want to do this with you.” Angry as I am, I'm not angry enough to have my friend's brother fuck me just because I'm more into men. Rio is literally the only person I'm able to be with sexually without wanting to cry; she doesn't want to hurt me and she cares about me. 

Sighing, he sits up and removes his shirt; holy shit he's ripped. “I'm a football player,” he smiles, “I'm majoring in physical training. You can't not want me.”

As… delicious, as he looks, I still find myself shaking my head. Displeased, he furrows his brows, but I don't give in. I'm not a whore… I'm not like Mommy. I won't just do this with anyone. “I don't even know you. Please, get off.” Yeah, I definitely can't resort to force because he will whip my sorry ass into tomorrow. Let's just hope Rio will be done soon and rescue me if he continues to make advances. 

“Karma…” Voice low, sultry. Blue eyes lidded with lust and desire. No. Don't look at me like that. Not with Rio's eyes. “We can just try.” His hands slowly work their way up my arms, feather light touches that kind of tickle. My face is burning, and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do to stop him. “If you don't like it, I'll stop.”

“No!” I protest, on the verge of tears while trying to break away, but to no avail. “I want to stop now!”

At first he doesn't let me, and he keeps pushing, like that'll change my mind; but no, I keep squirming and trying to get away because I don't want this! His hands are all over me; sometimes just barely brushing over the bulge in my sweatpants, which makes the tears start falling. I don't want this. Every kiss is sloppy and unpleasant, and despite feeling the bandages beneath my shirt he keeps trying to take it off. I hate this. None of my squirming is doing much of anything, and every 'no' I choke out is drowned by him trying to shove his tongue down my throat. Why is this happening!? Just as he gets me out of my shirt, there's an opening and I manage to sock him in the jaw, knocking him back. Eyes wide, and probably angry, he just stops and stares at me. Even though I'm terrified, I stand my ground and give him a firm, “No!”

His fogged over blue eyes bore into my golden ones, angry tears streaming down my face. Finally, he lets go of me, wiping my tears with this guilty look on his face, eyes panicked and guilt ridden. “Sorry… I just…”

“You're drunk…” The excuse rolls right off my tongue, like that makes everything he just did okay. I truly am disgusting. “Just go get some rest.” And he obeys, shutting off the game and heading to his room, dejected and embarrassed for making such an ass of himself. 

Alone in the now dark living room, I calm myself down before heading towards the bathroom to find Rio. She can get rid of the touches her brother left… the searing, tingly, invisible handprints he left on my unconsenting skin. That wasn't what I came to her house for… it was to be with someone who actually cares about me. “Rio…” I rasp out, trying to sound normal, and failing miserably. 

Her head pokes out and she frowns at me as I wring my shirt in my hands. “Karma, why is your shirt off?” I don't answer and she sighs. “Come here.” So I do. “He tried something, didn't he?” She knew!? She better not have known this would happen. “I'm sorry. He just broke up with his boyfriend of three years and is still feeling pretty shitty about it. I thought he was fine, but he can be really fucking stupid when he's drunk.” Clearly. “Wanna… come in here?” Do I…? Taking a leap of faith, I begin to strip; her blue eyes scanning over me hungrily before softening. Oh yeah; how could I forget how hideous I am? “What about your bandages?”

What about them? Oh, right… they can't get wet. “Promise not to stare at me.” She nods, opening the curtain a little more so that her naked body is exposed to me, water cascading down her pale skin and long blonde hair covering both of her boobs like some sort of censor. My dick starts to spring to life at the sight; she really has matured quite a bit. Despite her slightly boyish figure, she has the curves and delicate features of a female, and her bright, long blonde hair and eyes are really pretty—the shade of blue is such a nice, soothing color. She certainly isn't unattractive. Once I'm completely naked, I take a deep breath and step towards her, breath hitching when she reaches out and touches my pec, blue eyes fixated on my own. Looks like she's pretty nervous. “We don't have to do this,” I whisper, hand coming up to cover her own in a comforting manner. 

She smiles gently, eyes fluttering slightly as the warm water beats down on her, sprinkling onto me. Shower sex is actually pretty rare for me; it's too wet and Tadaomi doesn't find it all that enjoyable. Apparently it's not worth all the trouble and effort. Maybe with Rio it'll work out nicely. “Shut up and kiss me.” So I close the distance between us and she pulls me inside, careful not to irritate my injuries while pleasuring me in all the right ways. 

Even though I know the guilt will eat at me in the morning, I don't stop. It feels too good. Being in control is so wonderful. Feeling loved and cared about in such a gentle, genuine matter has me near tears. And Rio is just… so kind, and warm. 

xx

In the morning, I wake up to Rio kissing my neck, long, pretty blonde hair tickling my nose, and hands gently running up and down my broken, naked body. Rather than disgust or pity, she looks at me with such admiration and love. My body is sore, but it was worth it… the ache serves as a reminder that I'm an awful person, but it was worth it to take my mind off of everything. “Mornin' Karma,” she smiles sleepily. 

“Morning,” I brush the messy blonde hair out of her eyes and ghost my thumb over her cheek. Damn, girls are so soft. Especially their boobs, like fuck. And unlike with Tadaomi, I probably can't cut my finger on her jawline.

“You were gone when I woke up last time.” Before I can respond, she leans in and kisses me, effectively shutting me up. Uck, morning breath. Daddy's is far worse, though. And she doesn't seem to mind it. Her delicate, nimble fingers start stroking me, penis beginning to wake up even more considering I woke up half hard after a nice dream that I can't remember. “Sex with you is so addicting,” she murmurs, pulling away with half-lidded eyes. 

That probably means she wants to go again… but first we need to make one thing clear. “Rio, I don't want anything serious.” Not with her. Not with anyone. This is just a sex thing, something that makes me feel good and cared about… as selfish as that probably is. It really is selfish of me, maybe I shouldn't do this. 

“I know,” she tells me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me on top of her. “Just sex is okay with me… as long as I have you, I'm happy.” I eye her for a moment before deciding she's being truthful and diving back in. If she's fine with just sex, then maybe I should be too. What's the harm if she's on board?

 

Once we're done and all cleaned up, she helps me redo my bandages before we get dressed and saunter out into the front room to find Rome curled up on the couch, nursing a mug of coffee and scowling. “You guys are really loud. I could barely sleep.”

My face goes very red while Rio shrugs, “Call it payback. You and shitface used to do it to me all the time.”

“Touché,” he grumbles before putting his coffee on the table. “Do you kids want breakfast?” We both shake our heads before plopping down on the couch, Rio cuddles up to me while she flips through the channels. “Damn Karma, you really marked her up.” 

Looking at her neck, he's absolutely right; she has a lot of hickeys. Oops. But Rio doesn't mind… she says she likes a little biting. “He's a beast in bed,” she grins, hand trailing up and down my thigh.

“Please don't go in depth,” he groans, holding his head in his hands. “I don't wanna hear the details. Trust me, I heard enough last night.” Oh shit, that's so embarrassing! We weren't that loud, were we? Actually, his room is like right across the hall. Shit. “Also, Karma, you have cum on your shirt, and you both look like shit; Rio especially.” Oh shit…! Looking down, I see the stains, and it's too much to be just from me. Shit. I didn't know girls could even do that… 

While they bicker back and forth, my bladder decides to make me get up from my comfortable position. “I've gotta pee,” I remove myself from the couch and head towards the restroom, trying not to wince at the pain. Once I'm alone, the guilt starts to seep in and I feel awful… am I seriously in a friends with benefits sort of thing? If so, I'm a total shit person because I know she likes me. Seriously, how shallow can I get? This isn't like me at all… what have these people and feelings done to me? Maybe I should have just stayed home like a good boy and none of this would have ever happened. As I'm washing my hands, my phone starts ringing and I answer because who the fuck cares anymore? Right now, I deserve to be yelled at. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

Gakuhou. He sounds perturbed. Like, angry almost. “Just out being stupid.”

There's an aggravated sigh. Scary. “Where are you? I am picking you up.”

Sighing, I give him the address. “Please don't make a scene.” But he's already hung up, so I run my fingers through my hair and let out a long, exasperated sigh. He's going to kill me. There are a few hickeys on my neck, one of which is not coverable without concealer, so yep, I'm pretty much dead. As I exit the bathroom, Rio is there to greet me with a wide grin on her face, but unfortunately I cannot return her enthusiasm. “Gakuhou is coming.” 

“Aww,” she pouts, hugging me around my neck. “Well I guess you'd better get ready. Rome has some clothes you can wear.” And then she takes my place in the bathroom. 

So I go to Rome, who smiles at me and drags me off to his room. This is awkward. Does he remember last night at all? When I go to ask, he puts a finger to his lips and sits me down on his bed. “About last night…” He starts, an unreadable look on his face. “I'm sorry for trying to force it. That was really shitty of me and I have absolutely no excuse. Can you please give me a chance, though?” Although I am a bit hesitant, I end up nodding and he smiles so softly, reaching out and cupping my cheek. “You really are beautiful, Karma. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

The almost predatory gaze does nothing to frighten me; I'm used to being looked at like that, even Rio is guilty of looking at me like I'm an object. More recently she's been softer, though, which makes me an extremely shitty person. Maybe being with her brother would be better… at least he isn't after my serious affection. Just my body, it seems, which is far from good looking. At least he doesn't seem to be in this to bring bodily harm, though, which is already better than what I'm used to. After giving me a change of clothes, I thank him and head for Rio's room to change, but he stops me. “Hmm?”

His lips meet mine in a frenzy, taking me off guard completely, and pulling away before I can do it myself. Then his arms wrap around me and he's suddenly embracing me? Now I'm just too confused to pull away. “Sorry… just,” his hands gently grasp my head and lower back. “You looked like you needed one.” Even though this is weird, he is right… so I hug him back with a small sigh. “Give me your phone.”

Since he probably just wants to put his number in, I hand it over and he does what he needs to. Just as he goes to give it back, it buzzes and his eyes widen. “What?” I take it into my hands and read the latest message. 

**Gakushuu**  
Text me the fuck back before I come back home and wring your neck you insufferable fucking piece of shit. 

Ouch. Looks like I've really managed to piss him off this time. Shit, I've even got him cursing. I've really gone and done it now. “Who the fuck is this ass and can I fight him?”

“No… he's my… friend. It's normal for him to act like this when I get mad and ignore him.” Ugh… Gakushuu sucks. Always popping up to dampen my already shitty moods. 

Rome nods slowly, raising a curious eyebrow. “Shitty friend if you ask me. Don't let him treat you like that, okay?” I nod, but have no intention of stopping it because Gakushuu simply cannot be stopped. Especially by me. “Text me if you ever need to talk, and a little advice,” he lowers his voice a bit, glancing at the door before continuing. “Rio likes you… a lot. If you're not serious, I would really rather you not pursue her because eventually she will want more. Use me if you need to, but I don't want Rio hurt. She's been really stressed out lately and it's worrisome.”

What a good big brother. Guilt washes over me and my lips twitch downwards, a small frown forming. “Yeah… I told myself I wouldn't do it again, but it happened. In all honesty, sex really isn't all that enjoyable for me.” It's better with her, she makes me feel good and loved, and being the man in bed is nice, but I always feel so guilty afterwards that it pretty much makes none of that worth it. Plus, it feels like something is missing… 

He smirks at me, winking and wrapping an arm around my waist, hand creeping down lower… towards my ass. “Maybe you just haven't had the right partner.” 

Face red, I scowl and push him away. “Bye Rome.” He just laughs and shuts his door after I leave. Dear lord, what have I gotten myself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may not seem like it most of the time, but Karma is definitely the type of person to stand up for himself against most people. Pretty much anyone but Tadaomi and Gakushuu.
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter. Sorry for any mistakes, I finished editing this pretty late so I may have missed some stuff. Thank you for reading, kudos, and comments.


	30. I Like It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakuhou and Karma talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this, and thank you to those who have left kudos and comments on this, it's very encouraging. I definitely didn't expect for this to be so well received, especially after not updating for so long, so thank you. I appreciate each and every one of you so much. I really am glad you are all enjoying this so far. That being said... this will be the last update for a bit, the details are in the end notes. 
> 
> On an unrelated note, Don't Leave Me by BTS has been stuck in my head all day. It refuses to get out. It's almost 2 a.m. and I can't sleep. Hooray. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry it's so short.

June 18th; 11:01 a.m.

To put it lightly, Gakuhou is pissed. Extremely, insanely pissed. Not only did I sneak out, but I very clearly had sex with Rio, an E-class student, and acted purely on my jealousy. His anger only adds to my guilt because it makes me feel even more like a filthy monster than before. If I could just like, get struck down by lightning or something equally as terrible, that would be great. Since I've been in the car, he hasn't spoken a word to me, but it's not hard to see how he feels considering it's written all over his face. He fucking hates me. 

When we get to his house, I immediately run upstairs and hunch over in the corner of my temporary room, crying to myself about how awful and bad I've been, expecting him to come in and completely wail on me. But instead, he walks in calmly and stops in front of me, holding out his hand for me to take. “Let's go ahead and take your medicine.” Relieved he's leaving it be for the time being, I nod and do as he asks. Immediately after I swallow the last of my pills, he forces me down onto the bed and sighs, an almost disappointed look on his face; I'm in for a scolding… I think? I'm unsure as to what happens now because Daddy has never acted like a father with me. Usually by this point I would either be chained to the wall, or knocked out. “What on earth were you doing with Rio Nakamura of all people?”

Head down, I shrug my shoulders. If I meet his eyes, I know I'll start crying, so I don't. “Is it really that big of a deal?”

“Last I checked, Tadaomi was far from being alright with her.”

That's true, but he also works with Ryouma's mom, who she's technically dating. They're not really, he uses it as a cover because he's actually super gay and is dating some underclassman at a tech school. But if his parents found that out? He said he'd be disowned and probably dead in a ditch somewhere. “Well it's not like you'd actually tell him so…?”

“Correct, but for the time being you are under my care. You are not allowed to just leave without telling me.” Seriously? It's like lockdown at home all over again. Is that actually how things work in the world? You can't do anything without permission? Lame. “Not to mention that _I_ do not approve of you hanging around Ms. Nakamura.” Tch, how annoying; go from one clingy, protective bastard to another. Can't I just catch a fucking break for once!? What's so wrong about Rio anyway!? She's been nothing but nice to me ever since I've met her! “She is a bad influence…” Wine colored eyes go straight to my neck and I cover myself. “No need to hide what I already know. Please tell me you used protection.” All I can manage is a nod because dammit… I feel so ashamed and guilty. How did Mommy do it? The guilt is practically eating me alive. Feeling good for a night is not worth all the pain and guilt that comes afterwards. “Good. I expect you to tell me if, when, and where you are going out, and with whom, from now on.”

What!? Why does he have any say on who I'm around!? “That's not fair! What gives you the right to say who I hang out with!?”

“You are under my roof. If something happens to you, it falls back on me. And do not lie to me, Karma, I will see right through it. I always have, and I always will.” A growl makes its way out of me and he sighs, putting a hand on my head. “Trust me, Karma. I will not steer you wrong.” 

Maybe so… “But it's still not fair.”

“Life is not fair, Karma. Someone will always be telling you what to do, no matter where you are.” Yeah, I guess I should know that better than anyone: life isn't fair and it never will be. “You should shower. After that, we can have lunch.” I nod. “Do you need help?” 

Hmm, I nod again because I'm kind of dizzy and it's hard to stay upright when my head is all fucked up. So he goes off to start the shower and I gather some clean clothes before heading to the bathroom. He's only in a black undershirt and surprisingly enough _sweatpants_ , but he's still one of the most attractive thirty something year olds I know. Seriously, he's like perfect in every way. It's almost creepy. “Are you sure you're not like a robot, or a higher being of some kind?”

He smirks at me, ruffling up my hair. “I assure you that I am 100% human, Karma. Why do you keep asking?”

“You're so perfect that it's scary,” I admit without looking at him, stripping down to nothing while occasionally leaning on him to keep myself upright; my body is very exhausted after last night. Being naked in front of him really isn't a big deal to me; it's not like he wants any of this, and he already knows what's happening, so why does it matter? Nakedness doesn't have to be sexual. “Gakushuu is the exact same way.” But at the same time, he doesn't seem to be anything like his dad; not in an abusive sense, anyway. Just because he has scars doesn't mean he's less than perfect. He has everything: looks, brains, athleticism, charisma… No, stop it, Karma. You can't think about him right now. Just the thought of him makes me more upset than it does calm right now. After all, he's the whole reason I'm in this stupid fucking mess. Fucking asshole. 

“Gakushuu is far from perfect, Karma,” he says as he helps me out of my bandaging. Ah, he still thinks he can do better. After everything he's accomplished at his young age, one would think Gakuhou would at least feel a little pride or satisfaction. But nope. It's weird to think Gakushuu is the way he is while I'm the way I am when we grew up pretty much in the exact same type of environment. Both abused, and forced to watch our mothers slowly lose their sanity because of our shitty dads. His mom actually committed suicide, and Gakushuu hasn't told me much about it… typically he avoids the subject and tries not to bring her up, the same thing I do with my mom. But unlike him, I don't force shit out of him. “Of course he works hard… I know he works hard and tries to better himself, but…” He trails off, a scary look in his eyes. You know what, I don't think Gakuhou is taking the adjustment very well. Clearly he's trying to be better—to really love Gakushuu and treat him as a son rather than a puppet to do his bidding. It's got to be hard, though. “He's just…”

When his eye twitches, I reach out and grab his shoulder, grounding him and trying to bring him back to reality. “Gakuhou…” He blinks at me before snapping out of it, apologizing with a fake smile and helping me into the warm shower. Every time I try to talk to him, he ends it quickly. Conversation time is over. Ugh, I hope he cheers up soon. 

xx

Turns out Gakuhou does know how to cook… just not very well since he viewed it as not necessary because he used to have his wife, but then just either ate out or ate at school for his meals. So I've been cooking for us now that he's got lots of ingredients and stuff for me to make. It might just be me, but I think he likes being waited on like this. Probably that little voice in his head telling him that he deserves to be pampered. Which I mean… he might. I think everyone could use a little TLC every once in a while. Speaking of his wife, I really want to ask about her. There are no pictures of her anywhere and I want to know who else Gakushuu came from. Plus… I might've been snooping a little the other day, looking through Gakushuu's clothes… and I might have found a note from her in one of the pockets of his shirts… and I might've read it. Maybe. So now I am insanely curious, and also sad; it's been read a lot, and there are not just tear stains on it, but what looks like blood in some areas. Even though I know it's a sore subject for Gakuhou, given his obvious hatred of her, I muster up the courage to ask anyway once we're seated and eating. “What did your wife look like?”

He nearly chokes a bit before composing himself, swallowing what's in his mouth before speaking. “Why do you want to know?”

I shrug, “I was just curious. Gakushuu doesn't talk about her often.”

“Of course he doesn't, he…” Gakuhou clams up a bit before shaking his head. “Her death was traumatic for him.”

Oh? “But he said he didn't like her.”

Gakuhou smirks at that, before rolling his eyes. “If you found your mother bathing in her own blood, I have a feeling you would be traumatized whether you liked her or not.”

Oh shit. “Oh my God, I am so sorry!” Yep. Shouldn't have asked. Bad idea, Karma. Idiot! Morbid curiosity has me wanting to ask for more details, but nope… not gonna do that. 

“No, do not apologize. It was a loveless marriage from the start. Honestly, I am unsure as to why I did not just divorce her.” I think this is his own way of saying he kind of felt bad… but also not really? “It is in the past now, though. Gakushuu got over it fairly quickly, all things considered. To be honest…” he trails off, shaking his head like he probably shouldn't say what he was thinking. 

Which is fine by me, because I just wanted to know what she looked like, not about Gakushuu and his issues with her. Now I do feel incredibly bad for him, because that had to be a terrible experience for him. If I'm remembering right, he was 11. Still, I don't want to think about Gakushuu right now, just his mom. “Oh… so what did she look like?” Because I'm really curious. I've showed pictures of my mom to Gakushuu, and he thought she was really pretty; which she is and anyone who says otherwise can eat my ass. Much to my surprise, he even told me I resembled her… which was nice to hear, but I don't see it. My mother is beautiful, I am not. 

“I think I have an album?” He raises a contemplative eyebrow before taking another bite, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. “I will show you after lunch.”

Yay! So we finish up lunch and wash dishes together like some sort of family—Daddy never helps with the dishes because he's an asshole—before he leads me to what looks like an office. Huh, I'm surprised he even kept it in here and not like in the attic or something. It must not bother him to see things that remind him or of her… or maybe he just doesn't care or look at anything to do with her. “I am not sure where I put it… it might be on one of the bottom shelves.” Books line the back wall and holy shit is there a lot of them, and then there are more on the shelves by the door. Man, he must really like to read. As I'm looking, I find a lot of books in a lot of different languages and end up asking him what they are and if he can actually read them. Turns out that yes, he can read them, and yes, he really knows over twenty languages. 

Again, I reiterate, “Are you absolutely positive that you're not a robot?” And he just smiles at me, shaking his head at my ridiculousness before shooing me away to go look for the album. Eventually I find it, it's squished between a book in French and a book that looks like… hey it's in Russian! But I don't bother reading the title and just look through the album in awe. It was definitely made by her… _Katia_ was her name, it seems. What a pretty name. “Wow…” She is fucking gorgeous: long, thick brown hair, big eyes that look pink—wait are they seriously pink, that's so cool!—and she's just… she's stunning. Yeah, Gakushuu looks like his dad, but I can see some of her in him, too. All the pretty parts. 

“Ah, you found it…” He somehow snuck up behind me without me noticing, which scares the shit out of me and I nearly whack him. But because he's him, he catches my fist and smiles at me; he knows I didn't mean it. “That is her. And Gakushuu was about three in that one, I believe.”

Aww, Gakushuu was adorable as a child. I can't wait to make fun of him for—oh wait. Gakushuu is mad at me, and I'm mad at him. Just thinking about him now that I've remembered what's happening hurts… it makes my chest ache and my stomach twist. But that's okay… he deserves to be happy, and that's not with me. Clearly it's not with me. Never has been. In the back of my mind, I always knew that. Still, I just… I need some time to heal from this. Better text him soon unless I want more death threats. “She's really pretty.”

There's a huff from behind me, “She was obnoxious.”

I'm obnoxious. Gakushuu has said so many times. “So? She's still pretty.”

“She was,” Gakuhou corrects me, ruffling up my hair before sitting at his desk. “You can keep it. I would rather not have it anymore,” his nose scrunches in distaste as he looks at the album, as if it offended him in some way. 

That's mean. I frown at him, but he's already working on something else. Wow, I don't think he ever felt love for his wife. So I'll keep it… maybe Gakushuu will want it or something. No, he probably would only see her dead body if he looked at them… I guess I'll just keep it safe for them, then. Maybe one day they'll want it back, and if I leave it here, Gakuhou may throw it away. “Okay…” I nod before flipping through the rest of the pages. Baby Gakushuu actually smiles quite frequently… that's nice to see. He looks so happy, too. This must be before all the madness started. Well, I'm glad Gakushuu had some fun as a kid… with his mom, at least. Gakuhou is rarely in the photos, and if he is, he's either faking or not paying attention. 

Half way into the album I start getting depressed… all this Gakushuu is killing my heart. Seeing him as a little kid doesn't help. All I can think about is him… and _her_ … and their tongues… and their roaming hands… and Gakushuu touching her…! I can't! I can't! I can't! I hate this. I hate what having feelings and jealousy has done to me!! Why is this happening!? How am I supposed to ignore my feelings for him just so I can be friends with him? This isn't fair. My life has never been fair. It never will be fair. I should just give it up. I'm fighting an uphill battle, and the odds are in favor of the other team, completely stacked against me. Any chance I had at happiness was thrown away when I didn't leave with Mommy. Fuck, this sucks so much. 

Suddenly Gakuhou is beside me and he's telling me to breathe; why does he keep saying I need to breathe? Why does my chest hurt so badly? Oh… oh shit, I'm hyperventilating. Ha ha ha…! That's so stupid. It's no wonder Gakushuu doesn't like me. It's no wonder he found someone better. Because I'm so like this; so weak and pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Once my breathing steadies, I just stare at the ground; I hate this. Sighing, Gakuhou places his hand on my shoulder, lifting my chin with his free hand so that I'm looking into his calming, wine colored eyes. “Can you please tell me what Gakushuu did that has gotten you so worked up?” Gakuhou breaks the silence between us, obviously very concerned. “I will not tell him you told me, or even that I found out. I would just like to know.”

Well… Gakushuu is his son, and his dad has every right to know, but he also made me promise not to tell. “I um, I dunno,” I bite at my bottom lip and pick at my thumb nail. Just thinking about telling makes me anxious. “He made me promise not to tell anyone.”

His eyes don't waver, and he won't stop looking at me. Erm, I don't want to tell him and make Gakushuu mad. But then again, Gakuhou knows I slept with Rio and he didn't really get too angry with me. Maybe… maybe I should tell him. “You really do not have to if you do not want to, I just want to know if I can help.”

Help? How would he help? This would probably just piss him off to be perfectly honest. But I've already told him about Touka, and he already knows a lot anyway. Betraying Gakushuu's trust wouldn't be right, though, so I just shrug. “I just… I can't have feelings for him anymore,” I tell him, because this is as close as I can get to the truth. When he looks confused, I clarify, “He found someone else.” I don't specify that it's Touka, and he doesn't ask. Gakuhou simply hums before giving me this sad look, getting up and offering me a hand. As I look up at him, I find that he's blurry. Everything is blurry. Oh. Oh, I'm crying. Of fucking course I am. God, I'm so fucking, “ _Pathetic_ ,” I whisper to myself. 

And he simply lifts me up, hugging me gently before leading me to my current living area. “Let's go on a walk. Gather whatever you need, like your sketchbook or what have you, and we will go to the park. Okay?” Even though I'm not a dog who likes to go on walks, nor am I a child who likes to go to the park, and I really don't want to leave the house right now… I find myself nodding in spite of all of that. Like, I couldn't have rejected him even if I tried to. Spooky. Before I can even open my mouth, he rolls his eyes as if I've said something endearing and speaks, “No, Karma. I am not a robot.” And then he leaves. 

For a moment I'm just stunned, but then a smile works itself up to my face and I wipe my eyes before quickly gathering what I need and hurrying after him. “Are you absolutely sure!?” I holler as I trot down the stairs. 

“Positive!” He confirms with a fond smile. I smile back as I sit down to put on my shoes. So this… _this_ is what a normal family is like. 

I like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I am not entirely sure when I'll update next as I am still working out some kinks with the upcoming chapters. Unlike the others, I've written these far more recently and I'm not sure I like where they are at the moment… I had a tentative plan, but now I just don't know. This turned out to be much longer than anticipated. So I just kind of need to figure some stuff out, clean things up, and try not to be so hard on myself.
> 
> A new character is introduced and he fits the role I need—both now and especially for future chapters—but I'm still unsure. It's not like I can write him out at this point, as I have about 30,000 more words after this chapter, but still. I don't know why I'm so worried about it. 
> 
> Hopefully I will be back with another update in a week or two...? It could be longer than that though, I'm just not sure. It most definitely won't be an almost year long wait again, that I can assure you. If you have any questions about the story feel free to ask. Sorry for any mistakes and thank you for reading.


	31. New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Gakuhou go to the park. Karma somehow gains a new friend... and he’s kind of happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I’ve put this off long enough. Still anxious about this one, but oh well. I needed a character and was thinking and thinking about how to do something in a future chapter. I was rewatching BNHA and Shouto’s scene with Endeavor came on screen and I was like... that’ll work. I apologize if you do not like that series, or mixing fandoms but he fit better than anyone else, and he is only a minor character that is here for plot issues and shit. Any other characters may be mentioned or cameos, but probably won’t make an appearance. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting and leaving kudos; I’m glad people still like this. It was very nice to have a break from this and posting for a couple weeks. I got some writing done on projects other than this, I want to post them but at the same time I don’t. Like, would anyone really be interested in Karma and Shuu in the BNHA world? I dunno. Like, I always tell myself “you write for you; it’s just for fun. If people like it, great, if they don’t, that’s okay.” But it’s stressful, y'know?
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy this. Extra long chapter this time! And maybe there will be BONUS CHAPTER today (I watch a lot of Pewdiepie lol). It depends. It’s pretty short so I might. 
> 
> *Some spoilers regarding the origins of Shouto’s scar.

It's hot. It's so fucking hot. I'm glad Gakuhou convinced me to just cover up my hickeys with makeup and wrapping my left forearm with bandaging since there are scars I usually hide with sleeves so I could wear a muscle tank and athletic shorts now because I want to die. If I had been in long sleeves and jeans I would have suffered from fucking heatstroke. Gakuhou drove us here because apparently he has an idea for later, and the necessary equipment is in the trunk, but right now we're just walking. How the fuck is he in long sleeves? Is he 1000% positive he's not a fucking robot? Because fuck, it is hot as hell out here. Stupid June. Stupid summer. Heat sucks. I like winter because it's nice and cold; it creeps up out of nowhere and kills everything it touches except for like… most things. But winter kills plants and shit, it sneaks into autumn and finishes the job. I just, I like it. Snow is beautiful. Sure summer is all bright and cheery, but when have I ever liked any of that bullshit? My favorite color is black because it keeps all the light out. Wow… I never realized how fucking depressing that sounded until I really said that to myself. Shit. 

Moving on. 

Gakuhou is simply walking, keeping his distance, but also keeping his eye on me. Probably thinks I'll bolt or something. But no, I don't mind being seen with him… I don't mind his company. It's not like he's hurting me, and he's working to stop hurting his son, so… he gets a second chance in my book. But if he ever hurts Gakushuu again, I will never forgive him. Even if I'm not friends with him in the future, I will make sure Gakuhou goes down if he ever touches him with malicious intent again. But for right now, he's okay… it won't be as easy for Gakushuu to forgive him, I know, but I do hope they can get along sometime in the future. 

Sighing, I look up at the trees shading this big walkway, with their bright green leaves and tweeting birds… the smell of summer isn't too unpleasant. Smells like leaves and dirt… not so much fresh, but around there. Green is one of my least favorite colors, but the lush grass all around us isn't all bad, and the leaves are nice too, I guess. It's just so hot and humid that I can't really appreciate any part of this. Fuck summer, and fuck the sun for making this part of the world so hot during the summer. Gakuhou takes a seat on a bench next to some man… ah, he must have had something to do here. With nothing better to do, I decide to take a seat on a bench in a more secluded area, not too far away from him so he knows I'm still here, and pull out my sketchbook. Might as well make use of my time. 

What to draw, what to draw? Looking around for inspiration, I see couples. Ew. How about we shove that one down into the pits of hell because fuck all that bullshit. I did not come here for that. Some birds whiz by my fucking head, playing around with each other; clearly they have no sense of personal space because they keep doing it. Fuck birds, too. My bad mood is telling me to whack them with my sketchbook, but I refrain because I'm not evil. Behind me, there's a nice little pond a ways away… kids are running around and playing, the fountain is pretty, and it looks like some geese are in it. Again, I reiterate: fuck birds. All of em. Except maybe penguins. Penguins are cool I guess. Should I draw a penguin? No. That's boring. A bunch of penguins, then? No. Looking around some more, I see more couples that make me want to rinse my eyes out with bleach, and then I see a small cat. A lone, grey cat. It's hiding in the bushes, playing with some of the leaves… just minding its own business. Cute. There is my muse. 

About ten minutes into my sketch, I hear a couple kids fighting and look in their direction… the blond one is definitely winning, and the other kid doesn't even look like he's putting up a fucking fight. What the hell? No. No, that kid isn't doing anything but sitting there and taking it. Before I know it I'm on my feet, about to intervene, when all of a sudden someone else does. Not an adult, but another child… the blond seems to back off of the dark haired kid, and the new kid smiles widely. Then the dark haired kid starts giggling a little before hugging the blond, who blushes a little before shoving him off. Ah, is that how kids are doing it these days? Beating the shit out of their crushes? Seems like a solid idea… if you want them to think abusive relationships are okay. Then again, what do I know?

Sighing, I sit back down on the bench and grab for my sketchbook, only to find that it's gone. “What the fuck? It was literally right here!” Frantically looking around, I finally decide to look up for some reason and nearly shit my fucking pants when I see a red haired child no more than 11 years old on the branch above the bench, curled up against the tree trunk, my sketchbook in hand. “Um…?” Can I curse at a kid? No, that'd probably look bad. “Can I have that back?” He doesn't answer, he just keeps staring at the page he's on and… touching it? He looks kind of sad. “Hey, kid?” There's no answer. Not even a flinch. Is he deaf or something? “Excuse me!” I say a little louder and he finally shows some sort of a response. He almost jumps out of his skin and nearly falls out of the tree, hand to his chest and breathing heavily. Oops. I scared him. 

Our eyes meet once he calms down… one is blue, and the other is a greyish color. There's a scar over his left eye… it looks painful. Unlike when he was in his own little world and relaxed, his demeanor has shifted a bit more on the tense side; he looks kind of scared, but also sad? Goddamn, what could have happened to a kid at that age? Not that I ask because that would be extremely rude, and would probably scare him off. “I see you've taken my sketchbook,” I smirk at him. He says nothing, and also makes no move to give it back; if anything, he brings it closer to him. Okay, this is weird. “Is there a reason?”

He stares blankly for a moment more before completely ignoring me and looking through my sketches. Shit, do I have anything bad in that one!? Fuck. I don't think I drew Gakushuu in that one, but I'm not positive. Since he clearly will not be answering me anytime soon, I decide to join him up in the tree. Makes my shoulder ache a bit and I let out a few breathy grunts, but I make it up there and sit beside him. At first, I don't say anything, but every single time I go to grab my sketchbook back, he looks at me likes he's going to kill me and then goes back to flipping through it. Okay? You know what, no, he can't just take my shit; not all of my sketches are appropriate and I'm not about to explain something he may not understand. “Look, I'm not sure all of that stuff is suitable for a kid your age…!” I try to snatch it away but he lifts it above his head and I end up grabbing the front of his shirt, which I just now notice is long sleeved; how is he not dying of heat? At least he's wearing athletic shorts, but still. He swats my hand away and glares as I release him. Okay, now I'm getting a little frustrated, but I don't want to take that out on him. “Why? Can I at least know why you copped my sketchbook?”

For the first time, I get a response. “Cat.” Cat? Oh, he must've seen the cat? Wait… was he up there the whole time I was drawing!? “I wanted to see more cats. But I found this.” And then he turns it, and there is one of my darker sketches… it's me looking in the mirror as a child, holding my hand up to my reflection, only to see the hurting, crying 16 year old me with scars all over his body and blood running down his arms, same hand resting against the mirror, looking back at him with an immense amount of pain and hurt in his eyes. The words up top read: 'Don't grow up; it'll hurt.' Oh right, I drew that one when I was pretty suicidal. “Is that true?”

What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? “For me it was.” Is what I decide on. He hums softly before going back to look through all the pages. “Can I have it back, now?” He shakes his head. “Please?” Ignored. 

Unless I want to end up knocking him out of the tree, I can't get it, so I decide to settle in on the branch and kick my legs back and forth while looking down at all the people who pass. Some of them catch a glimpse at us, and must assume we know each other because they don't stop… the same dark haired kid from before came up and got the kid's attention, saying he didn't know he had a big brother, to which the child replied, “I have two,” and left it at that, not explaining that I wasn't one of them. The kid down below kept trying to talk to him, but was shut down every time—completely ignored. Guess he had enough because he just up and left with a pout on his face. The kid beside me had the audacity to huff in amusement. This is one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me… my sketchbook has been hijacked by a weird kid in a tree and I'm just sitting next to him while he decides to imply to people that I am his brother before ignoring them and laughing about it. Very nice. 

“That was mean,” I tell him after a bit. 

The kid looks at me, face as blank as it has been since we met. “I've told him I can't be friends before. I'm not allowed to talk to people my age. He says they're nuisances.” Ah, so he decided he'd find a loophole and talk to someone older than him. “You're old. So I can talk to you.”

Did he just… did he just call me _old_? “I'm 16, mind you,” I furrow my eyebrows at him. 

The small smile I get in response makes my heart melt, this kid is cute, that's for sure. “I thought you were 20.” No fucking way I look that old, then again, he's a kid; I'm sure most teenagers would look old to him. “That's how old my second brother would be.”

Shit. Is he dead? Should I even pry? Y'know what, I think I deserve to pry: he stole my fucking sketchbook! That's really personal. “Would be?”

“He ran away.” Ah, I hum in response because I don't know what to say to that. It could be that he moved out, but it also might've happened years ago so I don't know. “After Mama did this,” he points to his eye. The blue is very captivating, piercing, the scar just makes it look even brighter. Um, is this really my business? Why is he telling me this shit!? “She didn't mean it.”

By that, he means she meant to do it… I know because my mom would sometimes say the same thing to Daddy whenever I would mouth off or do something to piss him off. _He didn't mean it, he's just confused._ I usually meant it and meant to do it, and I wasn't confused. Who knows with this kid, though? I don't know him, or his story. Nor do I want to because it seems incredibly sad. “How old are you?”

“Eleven…” Wow, I am a good guesser. Look at me go. Still, for being eleven, this kid's been through a lot. The poor thing. “I was seven when this happened,” he points to his scar again. “It hurt.”

Yeah, no shit, kid. “I'm sure it did,” is what I say. 

He goes back to my sketchbook after that, intently looking at each page, not making too many facial cues so I don't know whether or not he likes whatever he's looking at. When he frowns a bit, I'm picking up that he doesn't like something… not the way it's drawn, but what the picture entails. Soon he looks back up at me, with what I think are tears in his eyes. “You're really sad.” It's not even a question. Just a simple statement, like it's obvious to him. All I can do is nod, because he's right. I am unbelievably sad. Why I'm admitting this to a strange, eleven year old kid in a tree? No idea. “Can I tell you a secret?” Ooh, I don't know about this. If he says something about being abused or anything like that, I'll have to go to the authorities. He's 11. When I was around that age, I wished to be saved… I desperately prayed to be saved from the hell I was living. Never was, but I wanted to be. Now it's too late to be saved. Hesitantly, I nod anyway. “I'm really sad, too.”

No… oh c'mon, kid. What am I supposed to do here? I press my lips into a thin line and sigh deeply through my nose, trying to remain calm. “What would make you happy?”

His response is almost immediate. “If you came back here tomorrow.” That was unexpected. So unexpected that I have no idea what to say. Despite the fact that I'm just staring at him, mouth agape and just blinking, he continues. “Same time. I'll be here at 1… then I go home before dark…. before he comes home.” If I had to guess, this unnamed 'he' must be his father, or maybe his oldest brother. But probably his father. “But you should come at 1.”

This doesn't make any sense to me. “Why? Why me? Why any of this?” Because why? He doesn't even know me. 

“You're the first person who's ever sat by my tree.” His tree? So he comes here pretty often, and stays as long as he can. Must not want to be at home. Best not mention the fact that I didn't see him when I sat down, or else I might not have chosen this bench to sit at. “You talk to me like a normal person, and don't look at me funny.” More people should do the same because he's no different than anyone else; his looks or age shouldn't matter. “You got up to help that kid getting hurt,” he adds with a small smile. Dunno what that has to do with anything. “You have red hair like me.” Yes, we most certainly do have the same color hair. “You can draw well.” Okay, now he's just trying to flatter me or some shit. “You like cats.” Ehh, now he's pushing it. “We can be friends.”

_Friends._

Huh!? Whatever my face does, he giggles at it a little bit before handing me my sketchbook. Even though it is the most precious little sound I've ever heard, it barely registers because what would this kid want with me as a friend? “I'm 16,” I remind him, taking it from his hands. 

“I'm 11,” he replies, “My name is Shouto.” So straight forward. 

Well… I mean we've already made it this far, why not tell him the rest? “Karma.” He raises an eyebrow at me and I give him a look. “I'm not kidding, that's my real name.” It still doesn't look like he believes me, so I pull out my wallet and show him my license, covering all the important stuff with my finger. Now he believes me, and his eyes are wide. Is it really that odd of a name? “I happen to like my name, thank you.” 

This time, his smile is warmer; eyes softer. “Me too.” 

After that, we sit in silence and he watches me as I finish up my sketch of the cat. Eventually I have to climb down because balancing on a branch while drawing isn't as easy as the movies make it look. Not surprisingly, he follows me down, sitting close as he watches me draw. It's weird, how intently he's watching me; like, his eyes follow my every stroke in earnest, and it kind of looks like… he wants to draw, too. I'll come back tomorrow and bring him a sketchbook of his own. Maybe teach him a few things. This could be kind of fun… like having a little brother. Honestly, being around him has me more relaxed than I've been since… since before I found out about the thing that happened with Gakushuu. Hell, I haven't thought about him at all since I've been around this kid. This is just the distraction I need. And he's pretty sweet… and needs a friend. If I can be helpful to someone, why not? 

At least this friend won't rip my heart out and shove it down my esophagus. Nor will he develop a crush on me or vice versa. This is perfect. No feelings should ever be hurt in this friendship, and that's the best kind. Who cares if he's 11? Not me. Kids are honest, and this one seems smart, more mature than even some teenagers I know… he's definitely been through some shit, but so have I. Maybe… maybe this is my chance to help him get over whatever is troubling him. Hopefully I can do it. At this point, I may be useless to everyone else, but not to Shouto… the least I could do is be useful to him. 

Just as I start on my next drawing, a large hand grabs my shoulder and I look up to find Gakuhou; he looks happy, but definitely concerned about my little friend. “Who is this?”

Because I know this probably looks weird, I give him a sheepish smile. “Shouto. He stole my sketchbook and decided he wants to be friends with me.”

“Ah,” he hums, definitely amused by this situation I'm in. Which it probably is, this would probably be a very amusing situation to anyone who knows me, but I don't care. If I can help this child, I will. “So you are busy?” I shrug, because no, I'm not really. “Care to join me for a match, then?” Match…? Oh, he's holding tennis equipment. How did I not notice? “You do not—”

I nod because fuck yeah I wanna play some tennis. “I want to. Daddy and I play all the time.” At least, we used to. “It's been a while though, I'm way rusty.”

Gakuhou smirks, “Fear not, I might take it easy on you.” 

Might? What a funny man. “Game on, Dr. Asano.” As soon as I get up, my little friend does, too… and then he follows me, looking like a lost puppy, almost, small hand loosely attached to the hem of my tank top. It's kind of adorable and I'm kind of really happy he likes me. Is that weird? No, it's not weird to want people to like you. Right? Besides, he's a kid, and I probably just remind him of his brother. That is probably the only reason he likes me this much despite having just met. When we get to the courts, it's pretty much empty, probably since it's so hot and there are literally inside courts five minutes away from the park. “Please try not to murder me, I am still healing,” I poke his arm teasingly. 

That's when he falters a bit, looking me over with his calculating eyes. Did Gakushuu have to play through his pain and injuries? I wouldn't put it past Gakuhou to make him do something like that. As far as I know, he plays tennis and soccer, and those would be difficult to play through… hell, any sport would be. “It has been about a month… but maybe we should wait a week?”

What!? No! “Fuck no, I wanna play. I'm ambidextrous, so I can play with either hand just fine. Besides, my shoulder is all better now.” Mostly. Enough to play sports. Probably. Besides, I took some pain meds so I'm good. 

He looks at me before shaking his head, “No… no, I would hate to injure you further. Bodies… bodies take time to heal.” This is hard for him to say… which means that Gakushuu had to play through the pain. Hell, just the way he said it, it almost sounds rehearsed. Which means he really is trying to change, hard as that may be for him. “Next week for sure, but this week… let's just do some warm ups. Get you back into the swing of things.”

Well, it makes sense… and I don't really want to push it either. “Fine, fine. But you're going down next week!” He laughs a bit before patting my back and opening the gate for me; Shouto follows. Ehh, maybe he should wait behind the fence; when I said I was rusty, I wasn't kidding, and I don't want to hit him with any wild balls. “Hey Shouto, maybe you should stay outside the fence? I'd hate for you to get hurt.”

But he smiles that cute little smile of his and shakes his head, “I'll be okay, but thank you, Karma.” Well, if he says so. So I just stretch out my body and try to loosen up; it's been a while since I've done anything strenuous and I need this. Being cooped up inside doing nothing is boring. “I'll sit here.” He then proceeds to take my sketchbook and pencil bag from beside me and sits with his back against the fence, hugging his knees against his chest. Well then. 

Gakuhou removes his suit to reveal his athletic clothes and I just kind of find myself staring… huh, who'da thought he didn't play tennis in such hot weather in a suit. Crazy. He knows we're in public, right? Guess he doesn't care? He changes into some tennis shoes and begins stretching. The sun is beating down on my back and I suddenly remember something very important: I'm a ginger and I _burn_ in the sun. “Do you have any sunscreen, Gakuhou?” Thankfully he does, telling me it's in the front pocket of the bag. So I quickly spray an abundant amount on myself so I don't burn to a crisp; just as I go to put it back, I remember that Shouto is a ginger baby and offer him some as well. Honestly, I'm a little surprised when he accepts, saying he usually just stays in the shade; so I smother him in it too because he is just as pale, if not paler, than I am. Even though he doesn't say it, I can tell he's fairly relieved; sunburns suck. 

After putting it back, I start back up on stretching. My eyes catch Shouto's and he's simply watching me stretch with zero expression on his face. Does he even want to be here? This is so weird. I kind of wonder if he's just trying to hide from whoever is attempting to find him at the moment. That wouldn't be surprising… to me it seems like he'd rather be at the park than anywhere else, especially home. Which is sad… really, really sad. A tennis racket is placed in front of me, along with a couple of balls, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Tell me if you need a break, or if it hurts, okay?” I nod, because I definitely will. 

Then we're on opposite sides of the court and going back and forth, playing with my left isn't too entirely difficult, but I'm definitely rusty. Gakuhou is fucking amazing at this… I don't think he's missed any of my shots unless I hit it too far out. For an old dude, he's quick. Like really quick. Even at my best, I don't think I'd be able to hold a candle to him. Still, this is really nice… first getting out of the house, then going on a relaxing walk in the park, sketching a cute little cat, and then playing some tennis. Hell, I even made a friend. This is the most fun I've had in weeks. Damn, I really needed this; didn't realize how much I needed this until now. “Need a break?” He asks after I hit a ball into the net and hunch over; resting my hands on my knees, I nod at him, slightly out of breath. 

So I head over to the side, grabbing the water jug he'd brought for me and chugging. When I bring it down from my lips, I notice Shouto eyeing it very intently and I hold it out to him. “Need a drink?” It doesn't take long for him to snatch it from my hands and take a big, long gulp, and then another, and another. “Easy there, Shouto.” Don't want him to choke, damn. 

He hands it back to me and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. “S-Sorry, I just… I don't like the heat that much.”

Yeah, I can tell; his shirt is a bit damp; the grey body is a bit dark, and the red sleeves are now rolled up a little… but not too far, which is worrisome, but we can talk about that later. His face is flushed and his shaggy red hair is damp with sweat, sticking to his forehead. Not that I look any better… probably way worse. “I'm right there with ya, bud. Winter is where it's at.” His eyes light up and he just looks at me with this wide eyed, in-awe stare. “You like winter?”

The response is instantaneous. “I do! Ice is my favorite… it sparkles and you can slide on it. Plus, the snow is pretty and reminds me of my mom,” his face drops a little, as if reminiscing on something a bit sad, but he recovers quickly. Poor thing. “It's cold, but it's warm… y'know?”

Hmm, I think I understand what he's trying to say. “I get ya,” I smile, ruffling up his hair before taking another drink of my water. “Do you play?”

“Tennis?” I nod. “I've tried… but Father says only things pertaining to the business matters. It's really boring. I hate it.”

Oh great, another one of these fathers. “You're 11, Shouto. What's the business have to do with you?”

“I'm the heir. All my siblings were failures, and he says he's not making the same mistakes with me.” Just like that, I'm stunned to silence… how cruel. At least I had somewhat of a childhood, had parents who I think loved me and were usually kind to me. Mako was the one who let me take tennis lessons when I decided I wanted to play. Sure, once Daddy was in the picture I didn't get to go outside unless they were with me, and friends weren't really allowed, but Daddy and Mom made up for it by playing with me. Until the excessive drinking and abuse started, but I don't want to think about that right now. Not right now. Getting upset wouldn't help anyone right now. “Are you an heir, too?”

An heir? What? Oh, he must be trying to compare me to him. Trying to make sense of everything in his head. But can't. Our situations aren't the same. “No, no I'm not an heir to anything.” Not that I know of, anyway. 

Now he looks confused, “Then why is your dad mean to you?”

So he's figured out that much… probably thanks to my sketchbook. Letting him look through that probably wasn't a good idea. “Because he loves me, I guess,” I say before I can think better of it. He blinks at me. No, no I don't want anyone else to think what they go through is okay. No one else deserves this. Not Shouto, not Gakushuu, not anyone. Just me. “But if your dad ever touches you wrong… go to the police or someone you know you can trust. If he's hurting you, that isn't okay.” It looks like there's bruising on his arms, and that's not okay. Just for me. That's only when it's okay. I'm not being a hypocrite. Just being honest. Just being helpful. Just being useful. “If… if he ever does something to you that feels… bad or wrong, tell someone. Even when he tells you not to. If he ever tells you not to tell someone about what he did, it's probably worth telling. Okay?” Because I don't want another child to turn out like me… that's one of the last things I ever want. 

The gears are turning in his head, processing all of that information and trying to make sense of it. It takes a few minutes of him just staring back at me, barely even blinking, before he speaks. “Okay… okay, I will.”

I smile at him, ruffling up his hair, “Good boy.” With a contemplative look on his face, he brings his knees to his chest and rests his chin on top, just looking at me with his pretty blue and grey eyes. “If you want to join in, just ask, okay?” He nods and I get back up, watching Gakuhou serve into the corner. Holy fuck, he would destroy me at full power. Good thing he's learned to use self-restraint… with me, anyway. “Ready for me?” I ask him and he nods, so I gather all the balls and we go back and forth. Somehow he can hit the ball so that it comes right back to me, not so hard that I can't hit it, and to my forehand, so I don't have to move or strain too much. Ball control to that level is hard to master, but he's got it down. Out of all of my shots, I've only tripped him up twice… and we've been playing for about 45 minutes to an hour. 

From what I can see, he looks content… almost happy to be playing like this. That's good… this may be preparing him for when he tries again with Gakushuu, and I hope it works. Having a good relationship with your parents or guardians is something every kid should have the opportunity for. It'll take some time, definitely; time for the wounds to heal and habits to break, things to sink in… but if they want to have a good relationship, I think there's a real chance. That is, if Gakushuu forgives him, which may or may not happen, and I can't blame him if he doesn't. This man took away his childhood and fucked him up… but that's all up to them. The only thing I can do is help them along. If… if Gakushuu even wants me around anymore. No. Enough about that. 

Don't think about it. Don't think about him. Don't think about her. Don't think about what they did. Don't think about what you did to get back at him. Just don't think and don't feel. Don't think about it. Don't think. Don't think! Just hit the fucking ball back and don't fucking _think_! The ball doesn't come back this time and I look up to find Gakuhou slack jawed and honestly a little confused. First words out of my mouth are panicked, “Did I do something wrong!?” He blinks a few times before shaking his head and beckoning me to the net. We meet there and I frown, “What's wrong?”

“Have you ever considered playing tennis? For the school, I mean.” What? No way, I couldn't do any extracurricular activities because Daddy won't let me; he doesn't trust me enough to do anything like that, and what goes on at home will probably keep me from playing most of the time anyway. Not that I can tell him that, so I shake my head and he gives me an incredulous look, “Karma, you are very talented. Would you consider playing for the school this coming year?”

But they have Gakushuu, why would they need me? Oh right, Gakushuu is miles ahead of everyone else and his doubles partner is annoying. At least, that's what he told me when I asked a few weeks ago. But he looks sincere, so I nod. “I'll think about it. Why the sudden interest?”

He lets out an amused huff, “Karma, you completely dominated me that whole round.” Oh… oops, that's what happens when I get lost in my thoughts I guess… I take it out on the ball. Used to do it all the time. “Even the little Todoroki boy is surprised.”

I tilt my head and furrow my eyebrows. Todoroki? “Who?” 

“Your new 'friend' is Shouto Todoroki, Karma,” he says this like I should just _know_ what that means, keeping his voice low so the kid doesn't overhear. 

How the hell would he even know that!? Does he just know everyone? You know what, I bet he does… he's a very busy man, all about appearances. “How…?”

“His father is very well known in the world. CEO of Endeavor Fitness.” What even is that? I've never heard of that before… at least, I don't think I have. “Very successful, multi-million dollar company with a multitude of big names under it; gyms worldwide and a popular brand of athletic gear and wear. The man, himself, is a hotshot in the world of MMA, but not a good guy in the slightest. Not that I am one to talk,” he adds that last part more to himself. Which is sad, but I'm glad he can acknowledge his mistakes and hopefully move on and learn from them… change his ways and be a better person. “I do not know how that child managed to escape him, but if you know what is good for you, leave him alone.”

By his serious tone and stern look on his face, I know he believes it would be in my best interest to leave the child alone and let him fend for himself. But I can't do that. I cannot sit back and allow a child right within my grasp to be alone when he so desperately asked for my help… no, he didn't explicitly ask for it, but his eyes did. His pleas will be ignored no longer and if I can, I will put a stop to whatever is happening. If not, I can lend him a shoulder to cry on and just be there for him. Because… I know how he feels, I lived a similar life at his age, and I see some of myself in him. Being alone at that age is detrimental to your social skills and mental health… “Can't do that…” I give him a determined look. “He needs a friend, and he chose me.”

“He is 11 years old, Karma.”

Clearly he's just trying to dissuade me, but I won't be able to sleep at night knowing a probably abused child asked for my help and I turned him away. “Exactly. He is 11 years old and dealing with things no child should ever have to go through. I'm helping him.”

“And if his father finds out? What then? Will you take responsibility for whatever happens to that child if his father catches wind of this?”

Ooh, now he's hitting where it hurts. I'd rather not be the cause of anyone's pain. “Bastard will have to catch us first. Besides, maybe he'll like me. I am, after all, the number one junior at one of the most prestigious academies in the country.”

At this, he tenses a little, and I almost flinch back because I probably shouldn't have said that and acted so carefree when I'd literally taken that spot from his 'supposed to be perfect or he gets beat' son. But he simply shakes his head and sighs, exasperated, as if he doesn't know what he's going to do with me. “Yes, I suppose that is true. Do as you please, then. Just… be careful. Not just for your sake, but his as well.” Gakuhou knows things. He knows way more than he's letting on. However he knows, beats me, but I hate it. 

Than, as if a switch is flipped, something clicks inside my head and I frown. “The police aren't an option, are they?” 

Almost grimly, he shakes his head and sighs. “Money and power talk louder than anything else, Karma. And he has an abundant amount of both.” Just like Gakuhou, I'm sure… that's probably why he knows. Because he got caught, and pretty much got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist. Mandatory counseling… that's it. It looks like he wants to say something else, but he stays silent… if the grimace is anything to go by, there was even more to that, and it wasn't pleasant.

Wow… that sucks. This world sucks and it isn't fair and I hate it. “You know… I think I understand what you're trying to do, now.” He simply stares at me, not quite sure what I'm getting at. “With your school, I mean. Reality and being in the real world sucks, but if you stay on top, it's a little less terrible.” For you, at least… 

And he looks at me like I hit the nail on the head, an almost somber look on his face. “Life is full of unfair treatment anywhere you go, and not all people are equal, despite how often people say otherwise.” He then glances over at the little boy before focusing back on me. “Life is cruel, and you all need to know the reality of that before being thrown out in such a harsh world. My methods were very…” 

His eye twitches and I shake my head, no, he shouldn't continue this thought. It'll only upset him, and if he's in counseling like I'm pretty sure he is, he's probably not ready for this. “I get it, I do… we should call it a day, my shoulder is starting to ache.” That last round, I went harder than I had been, and I'm feeling the after effects of a few backhands I'd done previously. 

Smiling with what I can only assume to be gratitude, he nods at me before heading over to pack up our things. While he does that, I set my things down and motion for Shouto to follow me, and he does, knuckles white as his fingers curl around my sketchbook. Ah, he must've overheard a bit of our conversation and thinks I'm going to tell him we can't be friends or something of that nature. We walk for a few moments in silence, just walking the stone path between all the rustling trees like everyone else, heading to his tree. That's probably where he'll feel the most comfortable. As we walk, he doesn't stray too far, but is careful not to get too close either… it's like he's stuck and doesn't know what to do. “Do you have a cell phone?” I break the silence, finally, startling him a bit if the small squeak is anything to go by. 

“Yes… but he only gives it to me when I have to leave for lessons or something.”

So he doesn't have one readily available, and Daddy is still too pissed at me to even text me back, so I can't just spend his money without permission on something like that unless I want him to hunt me down and murder me. Maybe I should get a summer job or something. No, Daddy would rather me just spend his money than do something like that because he thinks I'll get hit on or whatever. Maybe he'll answer if I keep calling. “Okay, well… if you ever need anything, I'll give you my number. Okay? Call or text anytime and I'll try to get back to you.”

His eyes go wide, like he hadn't expected me to do that, and to be honest, I wasn't going to until Gakuhou said what he did. This kid needs someone to rely on other than himself. “R-Really?” Hesitantly, he scooches in closer to me so that our arms are touching and he looks up with such a hopeful look in his eyes. When I nod, he gives me the biggest smile I've seen from him thus far, which still isn't that big, but it's enough. “Anytime?”

Ooh, if he tries to call and I don't answer is he gonna get mad? Or is he gonna try to call insanely late at night so he doesn't get caught? “I'll try to pick up anytime I possibly can. Just… don't get in trouble trying to use the phone, okay?”

He nods as we sit down on the bench beneath his tree, allowing me to pry my sketchbook from his hands so I can jot down my number. “We should… we should have a secret word to be safe. Just so I know it's you, and you know it's me. Or if we're being forced to say something we'll know.” Oh goodness, either he's been in this predicament before, or he's very paranoid of what's to come. So I nod and he thinks for almost three minutes, “I don't know what to use,” he slumps down, defeated. “I don't want to make it obvious, but…”

Yeah, he doesn't want to give anything away to anyone who may be listening in. “Do you know Russian?” He shakes his head at me. “Does your dad know Russian?” He thinks for a moment before shaking his head. “How about we greet each other in Russian? Or would that be too much?”

He fidgets slightly, looking down at his hands. “I'm not so good at learning other languages…”

“What if I just taught you the colors?” Shouto hums thoughtfully, motioning for me to continue. “Each color can stand for something. Red, or krasnyy, for danger. Blue, or siniy, for all clear. Violet, or fioletovyy, for help. A system like that?”

First Shouto doesn't seem so sure, but then nods. “Yeah, I think that should work. Since no one I know knows Russian, they shouldn't be able to piece it together until it's too late.” I nod and he sighs with relief. “You're smart.”

“A little, I guess,” I give him a sheepish smile, trying not to boast or anything. Sighing, I make sure I wrote the correct number on the paper before carefully tearing it out and handing it to him; he looks at it as though it is a precious treasure. “I will try to answer, and I'll never call back unless it's imperative that I do or you leave a voicemail saying it's safe. Your dad probably wouldn't like you hanging around me, even if I'm not your age.”

He nods, eyes downcast. “Probably not, no… he hates everyone, I think. Even me, despite being his precious masterpiece.”

Hearing shit like that really grinds my gears; he is not some inanimate object or creation, he is a child. A human being with very real emotions and feelings. To treat him like some sort of tool will only hurt him in the long run. “Hey, you're not some creation or tool. You're Shouto fucking Todoroki. A sweet eleven year old little boy who deserves to be happy. Okay?” When he doesn't say anything, I look down at him to find him in tears. Shit. Oh fuck, I didn't mean to make him upset! “Wait, don't cry…! I'm sorry. What—” 

Shouto wipes at his eyes, smiling at me, “S-Sorry, it's just… I haven't had someone be this nice to me for a really long time…” Aww, poor little Shouto. I want to take him away from all this pain and suffering, but I know that's impossible, so I will settle for returning here tomorrow. “Thank you…”

Ruffling up his hair, I smile, “You deserve nothing but kindness.” Then I get up and gather my things. “I should probably get going. I'll be here as soon as I can be tomorrow, okay?” He nods excitedly. “See you later.”

“Goodbye, Karma,” he waves sadly before climbing back up in his tree. 

Once I see him settle against the trunk, I take my leave. God, I hope he stays safe through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go. Hope you enjoyed it. This is the calm before the storm, and things should be picking up soon. 
> 
> The last two or so weeks have been great. BTS had new songs, there’s a new season of BNHA, and Breaking Benjamin released a fantastic album (it’s pretty much all I’ve listened to since it came out). Anyone else watching BNHA? That OP is wonderful. The one part Todoroki is in is simply wonderful. If you haven’t been able to tell, he’s my favorite in the series. But Karma is still my all time number one.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. They mean a lot. Hopefully there aren’t any mistakes in this, I looked over it quite a bit, so there shouldn’t be too many. But I also get distracted easily, so... anyway, gonna post before I wait another two weeks. Thanks again for reading!


	32. I Just Want him to Talk to me Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Gakushuu is taking everything. Touka is there to ‘help’ him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue the flashing lights.
> 
> *BONUS CHAPTER*
> 
> (I only know memes and shit from Pewds. Anything else goes over my head. Like, sometimes I try to read chat fics on here because they’re usually funny and not all that serious or angsty, but I end up having to stop like halfway through the second chapter because I don’t understand close to any of the memes or slang they use. Like... I’m just lost and confused)
> 
> Anyway. In all seriousness, here’s another chapter. It’s short, but it’s done and I want the next chapter to be on its own. Plus, I was away for over two weeks and I’m in the mood to post and stuff. I may start posting another work. I know I have this, and I love DNA, but sometimes I lose motivation for it and write other things instead that just sit. I have a lot of things started for both BNHA and this fandom. Maybe one day. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter.
> 
> *Warning: internalized homophobia.

It has been like two days since Karma has been in contact with me. What's worse? My father, Manami, and Rio have stopped replying to me as well. Yuuma will at least respond to my messages, but he hasn't been in contact with Karma either, so he's absolutely useless to me! Not even Touka can get anything out of Rio, which means either Karma told them about what happened, or Karma is just so upset with us that his stupid friends decided to get upset and ignore us, too. This is very frustrating because I don't know what the hell is wrong. Why can't he just be happy for me!? Why can't he be happy that I'm not a freak!? Why—oh shit. Not… not to say that Karma's a freak for thinking he likes boys more than he does girls. Because he's not. I swear to everything that I do not think Karma is a freak; he's my best friend. His sexuality changes nothing.

Still, he should be happy that I'm having fun. It's not like I had sex with her or anything—I would never do that. All I did was make out with her, we touched a little, and that was that. It was merely experimental on my part, and mostly to get back at Ryuunosuke for doing what he did at the beginning of camp. Getting hard wasn't my intention, but I was so relieved when it—I mean, it just happened. Not to say that I like Touka as anything more than an acquaintance; she's just very useful to keep around. We haven't done anything since, we just talk and work on our homework. Sure she's tried to initiate it, but I don't really want to. Intimacy still isn't something I want, and it'd just piss Karma off if he found out, so I just can't. Of course she gets pissy, asking why Karma even matters to me; which pisses me off because he's my best friend, what he thinks and how he feels matters to me more than anything.

Yes, I'm extremely pissed at him for ignoring me and having everyone else ignore me, too. But why would I go and do the very thing he's upset at me for? To make him even angrier with me? No thank you. Losing him isn't an option… even if he tries to leave me, I won't let him. Friends don't abandon friends over stupid incidents like making out with a high school senior; that would be ridiculous. Or maybe he's upset because he has a crush on me? That could be it. But he knows I'm not gay, so he shouldn't be _that_ upset… sure I flirted with him a little bit while I stayed at his house, and we kissed, but… but… that doesn't mean I'm gay…! It just means I got caught up in the moment and let some things happen that shouldn't have. Besides, he probably doesn't even remember kissing me. It's not like things would work out anyway; Tadaomi doesn't seem to want Karma intimately close to anyone. Still, I'm not gay, so he shouldn't be mad at me for kissing her; I can kiss who I damn well please. 

This is so annoying, though. Texting Karma is one of the few things that keeps me sane and it's no longer happening. I've texted him pretty much every thirty minutes for the past day; sometimes it's insults, other times it's what's on my mind, sometimes it's as close as I can get to begging him to respond to me. I just… I miss my best friend. Is what I did really that wrong? It just doesn't make sense why he's so angry that he won't even talk to me… won't even let me know how he's holding up, or if his injuries are healed, or if he's still staying with Manami. Speaking of, that still freaks me out; I don't want him there. What if they sleep together? I mean uh, I don't want Karma to make another mistake like that… both of them would get hurt somehow, I'm sure. Do they share a bed? Do her parents even care? Has Tadaomi tried taking him back?

All these questions and _zero_ answers because everyone who knows is acting like I don't exist or something. God, he even has my father ignoring me, which shouldn't piss me off as much as it does considering I would rather not associate with him most days. But just knowing that Karma has somehow managed to get him to do something… it is absolutely infuriating. There's the off chance that perhaps Karma has nothing to do with this, in which I will apologize to him for once I come home if that's so, but if this is his doing… I don't know what I'm going to do. What makes him think he can do something like this to me? When I didn't even do anything to him! Is he really so petty to be this angry over me kissing someone? Yes, I do understand that he may need time to process all of this, but it's been two days; what's the hold up? Why can't he just get over it!?

Sighing, I flop onto my bed and look up at the ceiling. What has become of my life? Usually having nothing to do would be fine, I would simply find something else to cure my boredom and keep me busy, maybe read or get ahead on my homework. But no, I've got Karma on the brain and he won't get out of my head no matter how hard I try to make him. Idiot. Checking my phone for what feels like the millionth time, my heart nearly stops when I see a message; my good mood almost immediately fades and I groan when I realize it's from Touka… _not_ Karma. Annoying. 

**Touka**  
Hey Shuuie! I need help with this physics shit. Come to my room?  <3

Of course. Seriously, she's smart, I don't know why she can't do this herself. Whatever, it's not like I have anything better to do since Karma isn't talking to me. So I gather all my papers and materials and head over to her room, knocking before entering, as per usual. Once permission is granted, I head inside and go to our normal spot on the bed only to completely drop everything and cover my eyes: Touka is only in her bra and shorts that barely even qualify as shorts. “Touka!”

“It's hot, Shuuie. What am I supposed to do?”

“Wear a tank top?” I say like it's obvious, because it is, and then uncover my eyes because I know she's not going to change. “You're so weird,” I roll my eyes, picking my stuff up and making myself comfortable on her bed so we can work. “What do you need help with?”

First it starts off normal, she asks questions, I answer them without giving her the actual answers, and she works while I read or something since I'm already done with mine. Then she starts getting progressively closer to me, which isn't all that strange, I guess, but it does get on my nerves because as she said, it's hot. Just as she goes to open her mouth, my phone buzzes and I drop everything to look at it. Oh my God, YES!

**Karma**  
Hey…

**Gakushuu**  
Karma! Is everything okay? It's been a while since I've heard from you.

**Karma**  
I know… I'm sorry.

**Gakushuu**  
Don't worry about it. It was stupid, but you're back now so it's fine. What's up?

**Karma**  
Oh… okay. Um, I'm getting ready to go to the park. You?

**Gakushuu**  
You good? Why the park? You hate light and heat, so I figured you'd be staying indoors. How are you feeling? I'm helping Touka with her physics. 

**Gakushuu**  
Karma? You there??

**Karma**  
Sorry. Yeah. I just… I thought I could do this but I just… I'm sorry. Can I have more time? My head's going a mile a minute and I can't focus. This is too much, Gakushuu. I have to go or else I'll be late. I promise I'll text you as soon as I can. 

**Gakushuu**  
What?? What are you talking about? More time for what? Jesus fuck…! Is this about Touka again??? What the hell is your issue!? Late for what!??? What are you doing that's so much more important than this!?? Why can't we just talk!?

**Karma**  
I'm sorry. Please understand. Please just give me more time. There's too much going on right now. I can't.

**Gakushuu**  
Whatever.

After that, he doesn't text back and I just sigh, tossing my phone and laying back on the bed with my arm over my eyes. Why text me if he was just going to get mad or whatever again and abandon me? God, this is just so… so _frustrating!_ “Karma giving you issues again?”

“He doesn't text me for days, and then when he does, as soon as I bring you up he says all this stupid bullshit.” I don't like venting to Touka, but she's all I've got right now so I'll have to make do. She hums thoughtfully before moving around; by the time I realize what she's doing it's too late and she's already straddling me. “Uh, what are you doing?”

She smirks at me, intertwining our fingers and moving my hands to the side of my head. “You're tense, hon. All Karma does is upset you. Why bother with him?” Her bright eyes bore into my own as she leans down, putting her face in my own so that our lips are almost touching. “Let me help you forget him.”

What? No! I shake my head and turn to the side so she can't kiss me. “He's my best friend, I don't _want_ to forget him.” I just want him to be honest with me and tell me what's wrong… I just want him to talk to me again. This is so stressful. Who knew having friends could be so complicated?

“Some best friend,” she huffs. “Why would your best friend ignore you?” Well, that's because…! “Why would your best friend have everyone else ignore you?” It's not like they really matter that much, it was just the mere principle that…! “Why would your best friend get so angry with you for no reason?” Surely there was a reason, he just hasn't told me…! “Why would your best friend be so selfish to try and take away your happiness, Gakushuu?” When did he…? “He's holding you back. You need to just let go. He's clearly not worth your time if he causes you this much stress…”

Lips cover my own and now I'm so scatterbrained that I kiss back… thoughts of Karma continue to assault my mind, and I just don't know what to do. Thinking about him hurts, and I just want things to be okay between us again. Karma is my best friend… he might get jealous easily, and sometimes does stupid things, and is scared of being abandoned, but he's my best friend and I love him. Our tongues intertwine and hands run up my shirt; losing myself more and more in his kiss, his touch. There's movement, one of the hands goes away and I hear the faintest tapping noise, but I'm sucked right back in when he starts grinding down on my erection and—SHIT! What am I doing!? Wait…! What the hell am I _thinking_?? “Touka, what the hell!?”

Giggling, she pulls away, “Sorry, I just thought you needed to let loose.”

Why is she like this? When I wipe my mouth, she pouts at me, but I don’t care. “I told you that I'm not interested.”

“Was Karma interested in Rio when they had sex?” She raises an eyebrow and I sigh, side-eyeing the wall; why did I ever tell her that? Thinking back to it makes my chest tight, though. Just… why would he do that? “Friends with benefits aren't so bad.” No, I suppose they're not… Karma did it at one point. But he was also at a very low point in his life. “Just to blow off some steam? You like kissing me, right?” Even though it's not that I like kissing her, more that I like the way kissing makes me feel, I nod and she lowers her head again. “Then what are you waiting for? Let loose, Gakushuu.” But I don't… I shouldn't… “I'll bet he does the same thing with Manami. He's staying at her house, right? It'd be hard for them to resist…” I don't want to think about that. “Maybe he's even slept with Rio again…? Who knows what he's been doing?” Okay, I _really_ don't want to fucking think about that. 

So I kiss her and get lost in the moment… if Karma can do it, I can, too. Besides, this is a stress reliever of sorts, so I might as well. Karma can't tell me what I can and can't do; he says the same thing to me. We’re just friends and he knows that. Getting mad over this would be petty. Not that he's going to find out… no way am I making that mistake again. No, no; I know better than to make the same mistake twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even geniuses fall victim to stupidity and manipulation when they’re upset and confused. Hope you liked it. And I hope you enjoy the addition of Shouto because there’s more of him and Karma in the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. Appreciate you all for sticking with me.


	33. I’m Glad We're Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma meets Shouto at the park again. They talk and draw cats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to bed as six in the morning after spending entirely too long on fixing up my new work on here and then woke up to a freezing cold house at like 11 and couldn’t get back to sleep. So here’s this. Was a little iffy about some parts but I think it’s decent.
> 
> Hope you like it. 
> 
> *More Spoilers for the origin of Shouto’s scar. And slight homophobic language.

As promised, I show up at the park the next day and sit down on the bench, waiting for Shouto. It's about 2:30, so I hope he wasn't already found, but I didn't see him in the tree so I'm not sure what to do. If it hadn't been for me trying, and failing, to text Gakushuu and not want to throw up, I probably would have been on time. But nope. I tried it anyway, and it ended with me crying. Sighing, I look down at the sketchbook I brought him, as well as a cell phone. After calling Daddy about seven times in a row, he finally answered and we talked a bit. It started off bad, but eventually he calmed down and we were able to have a civil conversation. Even though he's still mad, Daddy said I could buy whatever I wanted so long as I didn't get a summer job and I didn't spend too much a week. Apparently he still cares that much… but I heard a woman in the background so clearly he's not changing that for me. 

But enough about that. Just as I go to get up and look around, I am promptly pounced by Shouto; literally, he ran out from out of fucking nowhere—the bushes maybe?—and hopped onto my lap. The funniest part? He was completely expressionless; the entire time. This kid, I swear. “Hey, sorry I'm late.”

No response. Not even a twitch. He just stares at me with his heterochromatic blue and grey eyes, like he's thinking hard or trying to read me. Which is weird and I wish he would stop doing that. Being stared at makes me uncomfortable, kid or not. “You've been crying.” That _would_ be the first thing he says to me. “Was your dad mean to you?”

“No, it's just this thing with…” Why was I about to tell him what's actually wrong? He's 11, and this isn't his concern. “I've had a long day. Anyway, I brought you some stuff.” His eyes widen when I reveal the sketchbook, pencils, and phone. “Now you can—”

Confusion takes over his face and he just keeps looking at me; did I do something wrong? “You… you bought me a sketchbook?” Um… yes? Before I can open my mouth to respond, he smiles fondly. “Now I can draw cats.”

What the hell is he talking about? “Whereas you couldn't before?” I raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Father burned all my art stuff that Mama gave me. Art is for faggots, he says,” Shouto says without skipping a beat; I know he's simply repeating his father's words here, but hearing that one kind of hurts because it's clear that his father had malicious intent when saying it. Why do people have to be so hateful and hurtful? Just because someone is different shouldn't matter. “Fuyumi tried to give me supplies, but he got mad and burned those, too. Then he took me out back and we had to train,” he pouts, “I hate it.”

Frowning a bit, I listen to him talk and then sigh when he's done… this kid is living a rough life. Training can't be fun for him if the bruises on his arms are anything to go by. Not that he's outwardly displaying them, he's currently on my lap right now and his sleeves have ridden up so I can see the bruises that look like gigantic hands on his small arms, as well as the defensive wounds from trying to protect himself. At least his face is clear, as well as his neck… so that's at least somewhat reassuring to see. The man hasn't completely lost it. “Art is for everyone,” I tell him, and then lower my voice a bit, “And try not to repeat that f word, okay? It can be really offensive to some people.” His eyes widen just a fraction, which means he probably doesn't know what it means… “No, it's okay, you didn't know. Just for future reference.” He nods, eyebrows knitted, as if trying to think about what it could possibly mean, but he doesn't ask. “Is Fuyumi your sister?” He nods again, but it doesn't look like he wants to talk about her. “What kind of training does he make you do?” Not that he probably wants to elaborate on that either. 

“Father is known as Endeavor… it's his fighting name. He's a professional MMA fighter, and he's the CEO of Endeavor Fitness…” When talking about his father, I notice more than a little resentment in his tone and even more fear in his eyes. “He trains me to be like him. I have to be a great fighter, and a great businessman. So I have to train in the mornings, then I have lessons and tutors until one or two, then I escape when he goes to work, and then I'm forced to come back before dark or else he'll know I was gone and not training like I was supposed to be doing.” This child is expected to fucking train all day!? What the hell? “Some days he doesn't go to 'work' work, and those are the days I spend most of the day at the gym with him. That's why I wanted you to come back today… so I could tell you I won't be here tomorrow,” he says sadly, eyes downcast while chewing his lip. 

Well then… that sounds like an awful schedule. Days like tomorrow have to be absolutely miserable for him. As much as I want to ask, I'm almost positive that he won't tell me anything incriminating… children are normally too scared to do that due to their abusers’ threats. “Does… your dad know you're here?”

His head shakes quickly, “No… he thinks I go to the gym or just stay at home. But Father has people… I escape them and come here. They don't tell, though… they know it's bad to lose me, but they know I come home, too. That way, no one gets into trouble.”

Fuck. “So your dad's people know you're here, then?” That could be bad… what if they think I'm trying to hurt him or something!? I'd really rather not get arrested… 

This time he shrugs, “They might… I see Mr. Aizawa here sometimes, but he doesn't bug me. Usually I hide in my tree or the bush until he goes away, though.” Hmm, maybe this Aizawa guy is just trying to give him a break? If so, that's really nice of him. “But I don't wanna talk about this anymore.” He gets off of me finally, a light blush on his cheeks—probably because he just realized he was on me that whole time—and takes his things. His eyes suddenly widen and I watch somberly as he tugs down his sleeves before looking up at me with a small, hopeful smile. “Can we draw now?”

“Sure,” I nod, and then we're quiet as we draw. Simply comfortable in the presence of each other. Even though I really don't know this kid, and he doesn't know me, it feels oddly relaxing being around him. It could be the fact that he's a mere child, and he couldn't possibly hurt me, but… it feels deeper than that. I don't know what it is that make this different, but I enjoy this. Manami and Rio are great, don't get me wrong, but something about them makes me uneasy… like they're looking at me differently than Shouto is. While Shouto is starry eyed, he is also very honest and genuine with me, whereas my girl friends just… I don't know. Maybe it's just because they have feelings for me and see me as more than a friend whereas Shouto just wants a genuine friend and not my heart, nor my body. As for Gakushuu, he's good to me too, but he makes me feel all these feelings I'm not used to and I can't handle it… he… he isn't a good thing for me to think about right now, though. So I stop before any damage can be done. 

“Hey Karma,” he says after a while and I hum in response. “Do you have a mama?”

My entire body tenses because I wasn't expecting to have the conversation with anyone else ever again. But if I talk about mine, it may get him to open up more about himself. “She… she left me and my daddy when I was about 13, I think it was? Went back to my biological dad.”

Silence. I don't look over at him, I continue drawing, as does he. It's about two minutes until he speaks again. “So… you stayed with your not real dad?” I nod, not clarifying because this is a very sensitive issue for me. Unfortunately he keeps pushing, and I don't blame him; he's not too good at socializing or picking up cues and just speaks his mind. “But he makes you sad… did she make you sad, too?”

“Sometimes, yeah… they both did. Even my biological dad did.” That's why I've given up on trying to be happy, because I know it won't happen… none of the people in my life can do that for me. “It's okay though, because I can handle it.”

This must strike something within him because he stops moving, just freezes in place, looking down at his drawing of a very adorable cat. Oh shit, he's really good… why do shitty parents have to exist!? Why would he dissuade the child from following his passion when he clearly has talent? It isn't fair. “Does anyone make you happy, then?” I shrug, because I can't really remember a time that I've been genuinely happy… and the one person who did make me feel a semblance of happy, now hates me. “Does anyone make you not sad?”

Well, my friends don't necessarily make me sad, either, so I nod. “I have three close friends. Two are girls, and one is a boy.” Then I remember a very important detail: _he_ is supposed to be my friend, too. “Make that four, I have you, too. You make me pretty not sad.” Which is technically not a lie… he's a very sweet kid, and I genuinely enjoy being around him. If only he didn’t have to suffer through so much bullshit at home. 

He giggles a little, posture relaxing, “That's good… you are my only friend.” That's depressing. “After Mama had to go to the hospital, I didn't really have anyone. Fuyumi tried, but she's so busy with college that she's never home.” While I don't know their family situation, I really think she may just be avoiding the house so she doesn't have to be around the father; he seems to be the key offense in all of this. “But now I have you, and you are really nice to me. You even bought me a sketchbook so I can draw cats, and a phone so we can talk more… we'll be best friends in no time.”

Just his innocent and blunt way of putting things makes me huff in amusement. It’s quite cute. “I'm sure we will be…” We're quiet for a moment, but then I feel the need to ask where his mom went. “What about you…? What about your mom?”

He tenses a bit, but does eventually answer. “Father put her in a mental hospital for hurting me… it's far away, and he won't tell me where it is. Not that I want to see her anyway… she hates me.”

“I'm sure she doesn't hate you…” I tell him quietly, putting a gentle hand on his bony knee. The serious look I get in return gives me chills all the way down to my core; I'm frozen, captured by his piercing eyes and knitted brows. 

Then he says it… he tells me what she did. Tells me that she'd been plotting escape for the three children, excluding him, and that he'd overheard her saying it in the middle of the night. About how she shouldn't raise him, about how he was looking more and more like his father each day, about how his left side looked unsightly, about how terrified she was living under that roof. It was at that point that Shouto intervened, and then he felt the most excruciating pain he'd ever felt in his young life. He tells me he doesn't think he's ever felt anything like it, and probably never will again. All the pain he's had since didn't even begin to compare to the feeling of scalding hot water eating away at the sensitive skin of his face, head, and ear. Shouto lifts his hair and shows me that the scar goes past his hairline and down the back of his ear a little. Thankfully his hair covers a lot of it, and even helps it blend in thanks to the color. Still, that's a lot for a seven year old. This poor little boy. 

“So yeah, I think she hates me, Karma. Father drove her crazy and now she hates me, too,” he spits, a bitter tone lacing his words. 

Even though I want to argue with him and say that she honestly doesn't, that she couldn't hate her own child and that it was honestly just his dad that was the problem, I don't. Instead, I pull him in for a hug and just sigh into his soft red hair. At first he's stiff, his face is buried in my chest while he's trying to process what the hell is happening; soon enough he melts into the embrace and even returns it, grabbing onto the back of my shirt like it's the only thing keeping him grounded. Now I feel like I should say something. “I don't think she hates you, Shouto. I really don't. You did nothing wrong.”

My shirt is wet, which means he's crying, which makes me feel terrible. “I did… my whole existence is wrong.”

It feels like my heart stops as soon as the words leave his mouth… no child should have to feel like this, especially one so young. “No, don't say that.”

“What good have I done?” He snaps angrily, pulling away from me as though I'd burned him. “All I do is drive people away, and my dad treats me like I'm not even a person! Just a _tool_ for him to use! The whole reason I was born was to do his bidding and I hate it!” This… this reminds me a lot of Gakushuu to be honest, and that sucks. No one deserves what we went through. 

“You didn't drive me away!” I tell him, raising my voice slightly. “And if I wasn't meeting you right now, I'd probably be curled up in bed crying, so you've done good in my world, Shouto. It may not seem like a lot, but it is to me. I'm glad you exist…”

Eyes wide, he sniffles, hugging me tighter this time. “R-Really?” I nod, rubbing soothing circles on his back to maybe calm him down. “Then… then I'm glad I could help you.”

Smiling, I rest my chin on his head, “I'll help you, too. With whatever you need. Name it and I'll try my best.”

“I just want to keep being your friend… keep helping you.”

“Okay then, let's just keep being friends and meeting up here.”

After that he nods and we calm down before going back to drawing… it's peaceful. Relaxing. Serene. Friends are nice. Even the young ones. Eventually my phone buzzes and I find that it's Gakuhou, telling me that he doesn't want me staying out all day and that I should be home by 5 so we can make dinner together. It's about 3:45, now… shit. “Do you want to work on the colors, now? So I know you haven't been compromised when we're talking?”

He nods excitedly, scooting close to me and ready to learn. First I teach him some simple phrases, and then the colors. We decide on the colors and their meanings: blue, siniy, means everything is okay; red, or krasnyy, means everything is not okay and responding would be dangerous; green, zelenyy, means responses will be slow but everything is probably okay; violet, fioletovyy, means we need to meet at our spot within the next 20 minutes. We decide that when we're texting, he'll send me a color every ten minutes, and certain phrases will start off our conversations on each day. If there's no color, or if I ask his status and the response is incorrect, I'll know not to reply and that something is wrong. He also knows he has to delete the messages every night before he goes to sleep, just in case. Since he's a smart kid, I think he'll be able to remember all this, but if he doesn't, he'll have a cheat sheet for about a week before he has to get rid of it. 

Before I have to leave, we text each other just to make sure everything is set. 

**Shouto**  
I'm glad we're friends.

**Kat**  
Me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter should be longer. More angst. Fun, right?
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, kudos, and comments.


	34. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma receives a distressing image containing Gakushuu. Nightmares. Shouto runs away for a night. Ft. Rio being Rio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s this monster of a chapter. Usually I hate such long chapters, but I just wanted to get this out. It probably could have been two chapters, but one would have been super short so I made it one big one. I’ll be updating quite frequently up until Monday, which is when I begin working full-time again, thus giving me less time to write and edit. After this chapter, I have maybe four or five more written chapters. Updates will be slower. But things will also be picking up. 
> 
> Thank you, and I hope you enjoy the chapter.
> 
> *Slight sexual content but it’s a dream.

After dinner, Gakuhou talks to me about how things are with Gakushuu, and I'm forced to tell him that I can't speak to him without wanting to throw up. Apparently that's really strange and he wants me to think about going to a therapist. But I can't do that. He knows good and well why I can't, and won't, do that. Daddy may be a dick but he's all I've got left… not to mention that even after all this, I don't want to lose him. I love him. They may not understand it, but I don't care… _I love Tadaomi Karasuma, and I cannot live without him._ But I tell him I'll think about confiding in someone and we leave it at that. Who? Gakushuu. I'd never tell anyone else about what he does. 

While he retreats to his office, I head up to Gakushuu's room and play on my ds. No matter how hard I try to get Shouto out of my head, he won't leave… his story just keeps replaying over and over in my head and it makes me sick. How could a father do that? While I do know Gakushuu lived through a similar thing, I also know it wasn't as bad as it was with Shouto… Enji is different than Gakuhou. Selfish, and just downright cruel. Earlier I looked him up on the internet because I got curious, and all this shit I see is fucking awful. The way he talks about his family is so fake and full of shit, and he even openly says that Shouto is his greatest masterpiece and he will be showing what he's got soon. And Shouto doesn't even want to… he hates fighting. He hates pain. Forcing him to do something like this is just selfish. No one ever really asks about what Shouto wants, though. When they try, he always says similar things that sound rehearsed and probably are rehearsed. If they try to get more out of him, Enji steps in and the interviewer usually stops… some interviewers almost seem _afraid_ of him. Which I don't doubt is the case: he is a feared, powerful man. Complete and utter bullshit. 

After winning my fifth gym badge, I decide I've played enough Pokémon and get up so I can hop in the shower. My body has healed quite a bit since I've been resting, aka Daddy hasn't been around to ruin it, and I've stopped taking the meds that really fuck me up because Gakuhou does not want me to develop a dependence on them, so I can do this myself. Sure it still aches, and the lashes on my back still hurt a bit, but I'm mostly fine and should be able to shower without a problem. Right now since I'm in a good headspace, nothing bad should happen. So before that can change, I take my phone off the charger and gather some boxers and pjs before heading into the bathroom. Usually I wouldn't take my phone, but Shouto may text or call and I'd like to be there if at all possible. He's such a sweetheart and I don't know how anyone could do such awful things to him. 

Sighing, I strip down to nothing, brush out my hair to get rid of any knots, and then go to shower… but I find myself stuck at the mirror. Looking over my body, I realize that wow… I am really fucked up. There's barely any part of my upper half that's the normal color; it's all just a mix of brown and yellow and blue and red… bruises and scabs covering the majority of my abdominals. The stitches came out of my thigh some time ago, and that's going to leave a nice new scar… but I'm healing. It's getting better. Soon all the bruises will go away and I'll be back to normal with only a few more scars. Really thinking about it, I lucked out… he could have killed me, but he didn't. I'm still alive and kicking for whatever reason. 

Well, I'd better shower before Gakuhou comes up here and yells at me or something. So I do, setting the water temperature to a nice, relaxing warmth and stepping in. Showers are nice… washing away all the sweat and grime of the day and relaxing my body. The water does sting my back a bit, but so long as the stream isn't directly beating down on it, it's bearable. Once my hair is shampooed, conditioned, and rinsed, I begin on my body, gently and carefully cleaning every nook and cranny that I can reach before rinsing off, letting the water envelop my body and just allowing myself to forget everything for a little bit. It's nice to just clear my head after a long day like this. Since this isn't my house, I only do that for a few minutes before washing my face and getting out to dry off. 

The chilly air creates goosebumps all over my body so I quickly dry off and dress myself in boxers, pajama pants, and bandages. Sleeping in a shirt usually just irritates my back, so I've been sleeping without one despite not being in the comfort of my own home or bed. My scars aren't exactly a secret to the Asano's anymore. And it's not like Gakushuu would even care about me sleeping in his bed shirtless… he doesn't get embarrassed over shit like that. Whatever. As I'm brushing my teeth, a text comes in; it's not Shouto, and it's not a number I recognize, so I don't answer it right away and finish up in the bathroom before finally opening it. Fuck do I wish I hadn't. On my way back to my current room, I take one look at the image sent to me and fucking freeze in my tracks; eyed trained on the image and unable to look away. My pounding heart drops into my stomach, which is doing some very intricate backflips as I start hyperventilating, a mix of emotions washing over me, anxiety being the most prevalent. Hard as I try to not wretch, swallowing the bile rising in my throat back down, it only prolongs the inevitable and ends with me emptying the contents of my stomach onto the floor. It's even worse than I'd imagined. Gakushuu is really, _really_ into it, and grabbing her, and she's grabbing him, and their tongues and just…! “Why the fuck…!?” And I completely break down in the middle of the hallway. 

Gakuhou rushes upstairs and keeps asking what's wrong, but I don't want Gakushuu to get in trouble so I don't tell him. Even though I'm pissed at the guy, I don't want his dad to get onto him. Not only would he be in trouble, but he would kill me dead. While I'm hyperventilating and wondering why the hell Gakushuu would do this to me, Gakuhou hurriedly cleans up my vomit. I just lay on the floor and bawl. Why would he do this to me? Why would he take the time to send something like that to me? And if it wasn't him, why did he let someone else? Why did he let someone even take that!? Why couldn't that be me? Why can't he love me? Why can't he be happy with me? Why does the fucking universe hate me!? Why can't I be fucking happy for a change!? This isn't fair. I know I sound like a spoiled fucking brat holding a petty grudge, but I'm hurt… I'm hurt that he could do this. Especially after kissing me that same way… beforehand I thought I had at least a little bit of a chance, but clearly he was just fucking with me. He had to be. That's fucked up. It hurts. 

It hurts more than anything I've ever felt before. My heart feels heavy… it's excruciatingly painful and all I want to do is cry. Developing feelings for another person is fucking awful and I hope I'm never stupid enough to do it again. How dare he!? What did I ever do to him to make him want to hurt me this badly!? Was this his plan all along? Get close to me and then crush my tiny little heart. Seriously, fuck him. This hurts so much. All I do is cry, and I don't get up; I can't. Right now, I have zero motivation to do anything but lie here like the pathetic piece of shit I am and bawl my eyes out. Gakuhou just leaves me there after a while, curled up on the floor looking pitiful as ever. He tried getting me up a few times but I wouldn't budge and he must have given up on me… not that I can blame him. I'm so weak and stupid. This is what I deserve for being such a fucking idiot. 

Don't know how long I lie there sobbing, clutching my phone like a lifeline… could have been minutes, hours, or even days. Who knows? But eventually it stops… my breathing evens out and it feels like everything stops. Like I'm half asleep. Soon enough I feel arms scooping me up and then I'm being tucked in… a gentle kiss is bestowed upon the top of my head and then I'm in bathed in darkness. I miss my bed and curtains… I miss feeling loved… I miss feeling cared about. This sucks. Sighing into my cool pillow, I make myself fall back asleep… nothing worth being up for anyway.

 

_Touka is running her hands up Gakushuu’s bare, muscular chest, kissing him hungrily as he grabs her clothes ass and grinds up into her. His hands run up and down her thighs before tugging at her shorts. She complies happily, lifting up and leaving a trail of saliva between them as she removes them. He watches with hungry eyes, hands on her waist and grinning almost primitively once she's fully naked. Smiling, she kisses down his chest before biting down on the hem of his sweatpants, pulling them down with her mouth, and then working his boxers down with her hands. He doesn't want to wait. He licks his lips lustfully. He wants her. He lets her suck him off for a minute and then pulls her up and—_

 

Suddenly I'm ripped from my slumber by a buzzing sound… heart pounding and confused, I look all around before I realize it's my phone and just bash my head back onto the pillow. I mean, I’m glad I didn’t have to finish that bullshit dream but still. Who is calling? It feels like I just fell asleep. Groaning, I answer it, voice muffled by the pillow. “Hello?”

“H-Hi… um, s-siniy.” What? Siniy? Blue? What the fuck is happening right now? Huh? What time is it? “I'm sorry for calling at three in the morning but I had a nightmare and I'm really scared.”

What? Three? It's three? In the morning? Fuck. I'm tired and exhausted. My head is pounding. Who is this? Shouto? Shouto. Oh my God, Shouto!! I wake right up and respond so he doesn't think I'm mad, “Hey, hey, it's alright, okay? I'm here. You don't have to be scared.”

There's soft sniffling on the other end and I find myself wanting to cry with him… I'm really sad right now, too. Crying myself to sleep hasn't happened for so long, it seems. Fuck. “You're not mad?”

“No,” I reassure him gently, turning over in bed to get comfortable while I talk to him. “I was just a bit disoriented for a moment. Do you want to talk about it?”

Shouto hums softly before sniffling again, “I… I dreamed that Mama was back, but she was still mad at me. She was screaming at me and choking me, telling me I was a monster! A bad little boy that needed to burn! Karma, she burned the rest of me and said all of me was evil and unsightly… just like him. Mama said I was _just like him_ , Karma. Even though I promised to never be a bully, she said I was him!!” His voice started out as a whisper but got progressively louder and I really hope his dad doesn't hear. “I don't wanna hurt people… I don't want to be him.”

“Shh, shh, shh,” I coo softly, because he's really freaking out right now and he needs to calm down. If his dad hurts him for being too loud I'd never forgive myself. “You're okay. You're not evil or unsightly, Shouto. You're a smart, kind, talented little boy. Most certainly not a bully, sweetheart. You are the farthest thing from your father, Shouto.”

He whimpers, and it kind of sounds like he's on the verge of either a panic attack or hyperventilating. “But he's part of me… he fathered me. His DNA is coursing through me. I'm gonna be like him even when I don't wanna!!”

That doesn't have anything to do with how he grows up. I'm nothing like my… oh shit. No, no blood and DNA have nothing to do with anything. I'm _not_ my mother, and he isn't his father. “Hey, Shouto. It's okay. You're going to be okay. Try to breathe. In through the and out through the mouth. In… out… in… out. Nice and slow, alright?” It's hard to do this over the phone, but I think it's working. “Good, good. Just like that. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Just like me; focus on my voice and your breathing. Nothing else.” He keeps breathing, and I'm trying to breathe with him so he has something to base it on. Eventually he sounds calm enough to speak to. “You better?” He whimpers out a yes and I continue, wishing that I could be there with him to make all the bad feelings and pain go away. “Shouto, him being your father doesn't matter… you may share his DNA, but that doesn't mean you'll become him. That doesn't mean you can't stop the cycle. Just because you may look similar to him, doesn't mean you are him. You're your own person, and you're in charge of your own destiny, okay?”

“But… but he's making me into him. He's making me fight so I'll make everyone forget about All Might.” Who even is that? This just goes to show that I am not a fan of MMA or anything like that. “I don't have any say in anything; my life's already been written for me…”

So wrong. That is so fucking wrong. He's an 11 year old child and he deserves to dream dammit; his life shouldn't be scripted. What he needs is to be let loose. Maybe… no, I shouldn't help him rebel because if he gets caught we're both fucked and I would never be able to live with myself if he got hurt because of me. But following such a strict schedule to be something he doesn't even want to be… it pisses me off. Even Gakushuu was able to choose his own path, and Gakuhou was insanely strict with him. But whatever Shouto is going through is too much for an 11 year old… his father is a pro MMA fighter, and he's kicking the shit out of his youngest son. That's downright cruel, and abuse no matter how you look at it. How is he getting away with it?? What am I supposed to do here? Tell him to deal with it until he's old enough to fight back or run away? “Don't let him control you, Shouto,” I whisper before my brain really registers what I'm saying. “You don't deserve this…”

There's shuffling, and then a small sigh, “I don't know what I'm s'posed to do, Karma. I'm scared to disobey since he's so big… bad things could happen.” He's never explicitly stated that his dad causes him bodily harm, and he often refers to his abuse as training… in his case I'm not sure the two terms are all that different. Just like here 'bad things will happen' is vague and a bit cryptic; like he wants me to know, but he also doesn't. Which I can understand because I feel the same way… I want to tell, but I also don't want to lose my dad. What is little Shouto afraid to lose? “I don't want to be like him, Karma… I don't want to _fight_. Why can't he listen?”

Yeah, I wish I knew, kid… why can't parents just fucking listen to their kids for once!? “I know he's big, and I know he's scary… but you can't let him push you around. Can't you speak out to the press?” Since the police aren't an option, the media has to be; they'll eat that shit up. Which is wrong, but right now it may be his only option. Shouto wants out of that house, and there's nothing keeping him there… right?

“If I do that… Mama is as good as dead. She'll never leave the hospital and I'll never see her again…” Ah, it's his mom who's keeping him there… the asshole is holding her over their son's head. That's so fucking wrong. “And it's not like they really have proof, either. I'm a kid,” he explains softly, “Kids get hurt doing stupid shit all the time.” Endeavor must say those exact words to him any time he threatens to come out with something. Proof… proof? Why is a child's word not enough? If a child is brave enough to speak out, that should be more than enough to prove something is wrong. Who would lie about being abused? That's no joking matter. But it makes sense, now… I think I get what else Gakuhou was thinking but wouldn't say. Proof. What proof do they have to convict him of anything? Who says he got those wounds or whatever from him when no one has ever seen what happens behind closed doors? “Who's to say he's not just saying that because he doesn't want to fight…” he starts crying softly, I can hear it in his voice and breaths. 

Those questions are bound to arise if he comes out and says anything… and with what I've heard of the system involving abuse and children, cases are difficult. Usually they end up going back because there's nothing the social workers can really do if there's no concrete evidence of anything. That's so wrong! Why can't they just take the child's word for it, especially if said child does have obvious signs of injury!? Clearly _something_ is wrong if they say so. “Shouto, I am so sorry.” Because what else can I do? Nothing. I'm powerless to help in a situation like this. Enji Todoroki is too powerful and influential for me, or anyone else, to do shit. “I promise that I will be here for you whenever you need me, okay? I'll help you with whatever you need.”

“Really?” He sniffles and I make an affirmative noise; he sighs softly. “Thank you, Karma…”

“It's my pleasure, Shouto…” After that, we make small talk until I can barely keep my eyes open; he must take mercy on me because I hear him say goodnight before giggling and everything goes silent. Such a precious little boy. 

xx

June 21st, 10:37 p.m. 

My phone buzzes while I'm on the phone with Rio; apparently she's been sick since the morning after we slept together, and she wanted to make sure I'm doing better after the whole Gakushuu thing… she's the only one I've told, and she feels really bad about it. Even though I know it's probably Gakushuu being mean to me again, I check the text and nearly hack up a lung. 

**Shouto**  
Fioletovyy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But please. 

This late!? “Seriously Shouto!?” Sighing to myself, I tell Rio I have to go and quickly hang up before running my fingers through my hair, trying to think of a plan of action. Should I even tell Gakuhou? What if he says no? Whatever; that doesn't matter right now. Right now I just have to get to Shouto. I quickly change into some sweatpants and a hoodie before heading to the door… if only I had my fucking car. “Gakuhou…!” I holler as I tie my shoelaces, it's still early enough, so he shouldn't be asleep yet I don't think. “I have to leave.”

Hurried footsteps rush down the stairs and I find myself rolling my eyes a bit… why is he so worried? I'm a big boy and I handle myself just fine. “Karma…? Where are you going? It's almost 11.”

“Shouto texted, and it's an emergency. I have to go.” Before he can even try to stop me and tell me it's a bad idea to be around the child, especially so late at night, I'm already out the door and sprinting to the park, praying to anyone listening to please let Shouto be okay. Even though he's 11, I know he's not the type of kid to call me out here for no reason… what could have happened to him? He literally texted me three hours ago, telling me about his day and how much he hates training days… apparently when he fights, all he can see is his dad bullying his mom and it freaks him out. Worst part? Endeavor just pushes him harder when he cries or says he doesn't want to do it anymore; that's fucking awful. It's no wonder he hates even professional fighting, because the one pro he knows probably beat the shit out of his mama without mercy. As a child who had to watch their mother go through something similar, I feel for him… fighting leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, too. But I do have an image to uphold, so I do it when I'm left with no other choice. 

This would probably sound weird to anyone else… a 16 year old genuinely being friends with a 11 year old. And I know I barely know the kid, I know we only met like three days ago, but… it feels like it's been years. When he tells me these stories, I feel like I'm right there with him and it scares me… it's like I'm being sucked into his memories and living them. That's probably my own fault, though; me and my overactive imagination. Shouto has been through some tough shit, though, and I wish I could take him away from his dad; unlike me and Gakushuu, he actually wants to be free of his abuser more than anything else and I don't blame him. Enji isn't doing this out of love, nor does he have semi-good intentions behind his madness; he's just a selfish bastard who wants to live vicariously through his kid. Since he couldn't surpass the All Might guy, Shouto has to, and it just pisses me off so much. Who could put a child through such torment without remorse? It's despicable. 

It takes me about fifteen minutes, but I get there and head right for our spot. No one is around except for a few stragglers around the tennis courts, but they're likely heading home soon. So far I haven't seen Shouto, which is worrisome, but our allotted time was 20 minutes so he still has… 3 minutes until I freak the fuck out. The lamps give a sort of dim lighting all around the park and chills run down my spine as I gaze into the silent darkness… it's so eerie, being here at night. Feels like someone is watching me, almost. Maybe I shouldn't have come… or maybe I should have called? Surely this isn't a trap, right? No, Shouto would never; and if he would, he'd alert me at the very least. 

Sighing, I drop my head into my hands and take some deep breaths, trying to focus and not be scared; I'm not afraid of the dark, but I'm afraid of what could be in it, especially outside. Daddy used to tell me that anyone could be lurking out there… stalking me and watching my every move, so I tended to stay inside. Still do, really. Shouto is lucky I like him, otherwise I wouldn't have done something so… never mind, no, I'm not scared. I'm 16, and I can fend for myself… there's nothing to fear. 

Footsteps are approaching and I quickly look up to find Shouto limping towards me, and what looks like a nice shiner developing over his right eye. Dammit. Fucking asshole! How pathetic do you have to be to hurt a kid like that? Shouto Todoroki is the sweetest little thing I have ever met and how anyone could bring him harm is beyond me. “Shouto…”

The further he comes into the light, the worse it gets: his nose is bloody, his arm is sagging, he's got a busted lip, and it looks like he's having difficulty breathing. Tears sting my eyes because I have never seen someone look like this… I have never seen another child so hurt in real life and I just… I want to save him. “I um… I told Endeavor I hated him and didn't wanna fight. He kept yelling at me, so I screamed back at him even louder.” Fuck, I probably inadvertently encouraged that kind of behavior; this is entirely my fault. “He threw me in the ring, but I refused to fight back. I just blocked, and took it.”

Shoulders slumped and head down, tears start streaming down my cheeks because this is all my fucking fault. I never should have got involved. This wouldn't be happening if not for me. Sure Shouto would still be getting the tar knocked out of him, but at least he'd try to fight back… at least he wouldn't be yelling at his abusive father to try and prove something. “I'm so sorry… I'm so, so sorry Shouto.”

A small body settles in beside me on the bench, closer than normal, and small fingers begin combing through my hair. How is he so calm in this situation? Why am I the only one crying here? “For what? I made the decision, Karma. For the first time in my life, I felt alive. Speaking my mind felt so amazing. Sure it pissed Dad off, but it was worth it.”

“Nothing is worth you getting hurt this badly,” I snap at him. With people like Enji Todoroki, you can't afford to take risks like that. They're too blinded by their idiocy and arrogance to care who they hurt. And that guy is fucking gigantic! “You're _eleven_ , Shouto. You're still a fucking child! It could have been so much worse than this, and—

He hugs me around my neck, practically throwing himself into my lap. “Don't cry, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you sad, Karma… please don't cry.” All the while he's petting my hair and clinging to me as tight as he can. How affectionate he is with me is actually pretty surprising… usually I was afraid of it, still kind of am at times. Yet here he is embracing me like I'll disappear if he lets go. “Please don't hate me,” he sniffles into my ear. “But I…”

But he thinks it's the only way to make it stop. So I abruptly stand up with him in my arms and show him just how small he is. Now I'm certainly not the biggest guy, but I'm tough… working out takes my mind off of the abuse and makes my body strong enough to handle Daddy. “Shouto, you can't put yourself in danger. If I can do this, just think of what he can do if you continue to provoke him!?” He's struggling, but he can't break free—but damn if he wasn't close a couple of times, strong little shit. After flipping him upside down and manhandling him a bit, I pin him down in the grass and look into his eyes. “I don't want you hurt because of me, Shouto. I never should have done this…” I whisper that last part to myself, “All I'm doing is giving you stupid ideas…”

He blinks at me a few times before stopping his struggle and smiling a little, I can barely make it out it's so dark. “I've been planning to do this… you just gave me the courage to follow through. My dad may be big, but he wouldn't kill me… I still leave the premises, and he knows his limits. What's he gonna do? Chain me up and keep me from leaving?” He lets out an amused huff. Ha, he thinks that doesn't happen? I wish that was true… I wish people didn't actually do that. Releasing his hands, I sit up and just sigh, burrowing my face in my hands; I don't want him to do this. Children should not have to go through this. There is no excuse for that asshole getting away with this kind of shit. Fuck money and power and all that… this world is fucked. Gakuhou was right. He scoots out from under me and tries to pry my hands off of my face, wiping my tears once he's succeeded. “You give me good ideas, and you give me someone to talk to. I'm going to be okay.”

Nodding, I try to make myself stop crying; if he's brave enough to poke the lion, who am I to stop him? I did the same fucking thing around his age. Images of Mommy flash through my head and I fucking flinch when I see his hand coming up to wipe another tear. Almost taken aback, his hand pauses midair and I shake my head, trying to take it back and reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong. “You didn't do anything. I didn't mean to do that, I'm sorry!” Hesitantly, he continues the motion and wipes the tears away; he has such small hands, slender and probably calloused from fighting. “I swear that wasn't your fault. My head is just kind of all over the place right now.”

A small huff escapes his lips, and he almost looks annoyed before getting to his feet. What did I do? “I never knew how much being flinched away from hurt, I'll have to apologize to my sister.”

Oh, he must've been more upset with himself rather than me. “I'm sure she understands, Shouto.” He nods, holding out his hand to help me up, which I accept even though I don't need it. We go back to the bench and I hear him whimper a bit as he sits down, which is disconcerting because when I do that, usually only one thing is the cause. But he's not me, and Enji is not Daddy. “Do you need any medical attention?” Shouto just shrugs, looking himself over before shrugging again. I'm about to open my mouth to speak when my phone starts ringing. “Just a sec,” I smile at him and the answer, “Hello?”

“Karma, hey! You scared me just hanging up like that after sounding all panicked, so I stopped by Asano's house to check on you. He was _not_ happy to see me,” Rio giggles, sounding way too chipper. 

Oh great, now that's going to be a thing. Gakuhou is going to kill me for even talking to her again, probably. “Rio, do you have a death wish? You're in the E-class, and he hates you, why would you even remotely think showing up there would be a good idea?” Why did you have to go there and get me in trouble, dammit!?

“Maybe,” she huffs, and it almost sounds like she's serious, but then she busts out laughing. “Sorry, sorry. I worry about you, babe, you know that.” My entire body stiffens and suddenly I'm felt with the urge to break things off with her completely. Babe. She called me babe. That's too intimate. But I stay silent, letting her speak, “Anyway, he said he was about to leave so he could go get you, but I offered to pick you up and he just sighed at me before telling me where you were and slamming the door in my face!”

Oh my God, he's going to kill me. Gakuhou is going to fucking kill me. “You sound way too cheery for someone who just got a door slammed in their face.” At this, she laughs. What am I going to do with her? Honestly. Why does she care so much? “You do realize that I am never going to hear the end of this when I get back, right?”

Of course she laughs again. “Surely he's not that upset. I'm a good kid.” I let out an incredulous scoff and she laughs even harder before going silent; I hear her car shut off in the background. “I'm here, Karma. Where are you?”

“I'll be there in five minutes.” Then I hang up and turn to Shouto. “Do you need to be home soon?”

He shakes his head. “I told him I was running away and he just laughed before telling me to be back by training time or else…” his voice gets smaller before eventually trailing off, getting lost in the summer breeze that rustles all the trees. “Can I stay the night?”

Figures as much… “Your dad is a fucking dick.” The small 'I know' was so quiet that I almost lost it in the wind. “Come on, let's go.” We make sure we have our things and then start walking, at first we're quite a ways apart, but soon he's closer to me and grabbing my hand, interlocking our fingers tightly. This is weird, yet oddly comforting. Glancing over at him, it doesn't seem like anything's changed, but there is a subtle difference in his eyes. Almost looks like fear, and he keeps glancing around. Either he's afraid of the dark or he's afraid we're being followed. “You good?”

“I don't like the dark,” he confesses softly, “Bad memories.” Ah, I don't reply, but I squeeze his hand lightly to let him know that I'm here and I won't let anything hurt him. “Is… is Rio your girlfriend?”

“No,” I answer at lightning speed because just hearing that makes my stomach twist. “Rio is great, but I'm more into boys.” Why did I just say that!? Fuck, he's going to think I'm a freak. He's going to hate me. He's going to—

“Oh… me too.” Oh. And then we're silent, but the hand in my own suddenly feels less tense, far more relaxed. This little boy deserves the best and I'm never ever going to abandon him. 

Rio's car is not hard to miss, it's surprisingly bright pink, which she claims happened because she lost a bet… but I think she secretly likes it. When she sees me, she flashes her headlights multiple times to be annoying, and then she gets out of the car and runs over, screaming at me. “Oh my God!! You never told me you had a little brother!? Has he been with your mom this whole time!? What's going on!?” Then she tries to poke and prod at him, which he shys away from, trying to hide behind me to get away from her. “Is he okay?”

“I'll explain later, please just take me home.” Home. It's scary to know that the Asano residence feels more like a home to me than my own. With that, she nods and we pile in, Shouto insisting that I take the front seat so I have more room. But I don't, because he doesn't want to be alone right now and I know it; the subtly grateful smile I get in return lets me know that doing so was the right decision. Once we're all buckled up, I sit back and close my eyes; Shouto still hasn't let go of my hand and it's shaking. Is he scared? Maybe he's just in a lot of pain. Fuck, he doesn't deserve this bullshit. Expectant blue eyes meet mine in the mirror once I open them and I sigh, “He's not my brother; I'm an only child. I met him here a few days ago and we hit it off well, I guess.”

“You drew a cat and sat under my tree,” Shouto whispers to me so that Rio can't hear, “You tried to help. You're nice and I decided we would be friends.”

A smile creeps up to my lips and I can't help but feel a little embarrassed; he's silly. “He took to me, I guess, and now we're friends.”

“Ah, how old is he?”

“Eleven,” I roll my eyes when she snorts. “Shut up, I can be friends with whoever I want.”

She giggles, shaking her head. “No, it's not that, I just… I didn't expect you to be good with kids, I guess.” Her smile drops slightly, but then warms back up when she meets my eyes. “It's a good thing.”

What the…? She's being weird again. Girls, I swear. “I guess… Gakushuu told me I'm surprisingly nurturing.” Who knows, maybe he's right. Though… it's probably just me not wanting anyone else getting hurt; I hate it when other people get hurt, especially children. 

“Did he? How was that topic brought about?” She smirks and I roll my eyes, flipping her off. “How's he? Still sending that shit?” When I don't say anything, she must assume it's a yes and sighs. “That's not Touka's number, but I did ask her about it and she says she's not doing anything and that Gakushuu is the one initia...ting…” she trails off slowly. This isn't helping. Tears start building up again and I tilt my head back, focusing on my breathing and trying to calm down. “I'm sorry, I should have waited for a better time…”

You fucking think!? When I don't respond, thankfully she doesn't say anything else. Shouto tugs on my hand and I glance down at him, humming softly. “What's going on?” But I shake my head at him, smiling softly to let him know I'm okay and that he doesn't need to worry. Of course he looks worried regardless, which is weird because he seems to be fairly blank in regards to everything else except for me or his family. “Is Gakushuu your friend?” I nod, because he is… I think. Probably. Hell, I don't know anymore. This could just be his way of getting back at me… maybe he wanted to get close to me just so he could potentially ruin my life. Who knows. To be honest, it sounds like something he would do. “Is Touka your friend?”

My eye twitches, “Touka is a bitch.” Rio gasps up front, probably because she's not used to me being this way, and Shouto's heterochromatic eyes widen; it's almost as if he's startled by my tone. Maybe I was a little harsh, but I'm stressed out and in a shitty mood. “Sorry, some things have been happening and it's more than a little irritating.”

“Touka isn't that bad,” Rio murmurs up front and I narrow my eyes at her because how dare she say that when the bitch is clearly seducing my Gakushuu and—whoa, okay there Karma, tone it down a bit. Fuck, why am I like this? I don't know what I want anymore. “It's not just her, Karma.”

And I know that! I know. It takes two to fucking tango, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, nor does it mean I have to blame both sides. Yes, I'm openly biased because Gakushuu is the person I like. Sue me. Man, if this really does turn out to be a scheme, I'm never going back to school again. But I just have to have faith that Gakushuu is just… trying to discover himself and has nothing to do with the photos. Even if it does hurt, I can't tell him what he can and can't do. “This is so stupid.” She hums in agreement because she knows it is, too, regardless of who is sending the photos. Shouto rests his head on my arm and I find myself smiling again… glancing down at him, it looks like he might've fallen asleep. Cute. The urge to kiss the top of his head is strong, but that would probably be weird, so I opt to just look at him fondly and pick a few twigs out of his hair from when I pinned him. Whoops.

Our eyes meet in the mirror again and Rio looks… happy, almost? Relieved is maybe a better term. Soon enough we're back at the Asano residence and I let out a long sigh. If he doesn't let Shouto stay here, we're going to have to stay with Rio. But Gakuhou probably won't care. Hopefully he has an air mattress or something of the sort because sleeping on the couch is gonna suck. Before I go, Rio looks back expectantly and I lean forward because I know what she wants and she's done a lot for me since this whole thing started. We kiss for a moment, Shouto tenses, and I pull away. “See you later?”

She nods, a bit dazed and smiling fondly… I shouldn't have let that happen. Why am I such an idiot? We're not dating and we never will… why give her false hope? “I'll text you tomorrow.”

Then I exit the vehicle and shut the door before heading up front, Shouto following close behind me, hand clammy and grip tight. “You good?” Silence. Won't even look at me. Shit. Did kissing her make him uncomfortable? That was ridiculously idiotic of me. When I try to let go of his hand, he refuses; not mad enough at me to release his death grip. As expected, the door is already unlocked and Gakuhou is in the recliner reading a book in another language, as he often does. “He's hurt,” I tell him before he can get too angry for bringing a stranger into his home. 

Wine colored eyes meet mine, and then fall on the little boy holding my hand, almost trying to hide behind me. It looks like he wants to tell me to fuck off, but he sighs instead, closing his book and leading us upstairs to the bathroom, where the first aid stuff is. Shouto is sat down on the toilet seat and Gakuhou looks him over since he's more capable than I am. Yeah, I know my stuff, but he's actually taken real courses and knows more than I do. The protest in Shouto's eyes is more than obvious and I feel bad, so I decide to scooch behind Gakuhou so that I can sit beside Shouto. The look I receive from Gakuhou is almost amused and I want to pout at him, but don't. “His lip needs stitches and he may have a concussion… are you comfortable enough I remove your shirt?” Shouto looks at me and shrugs, biting his lip. “I think he would feel more comfortable with you, Karma.”

Obviously. But I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have a degree. Diagnosing myself is easy, but another person? Doctors go to school for a long time for a reason. But I concede, because Shouto doesn't seem to want him to see. “Okay…” So Gakuhou leaves and Shouto takes off his jacket and shirt right away… it's worse than I thought. Yeah, I shouldn't be the one to do this. It hits way too fucking close to home. But it's too late now, so I just check everything out, asking what hurts and where. While it's mostly just bruises, there are scars, too. Small ones, but one rather big one that I don't ask about. No lash marks on his back, which is more than relieving; Enji isn't completely crazy, or maybe he's just careful not to break the skin? If I remember right, MMA fighters fight shirtless, which means scars like that would draw attention and raise questions. Man, he's really playing this smart… it's terrible how much thought he probably puts into how much he can and can't hurt Shouto, _his child_. 

As I'm feeling around, he whimpers a bit at his lower right ribs, which means those are cracked or bruised. His shoulder hurts, but I can't see anything too out of the ordinary… I'm not a doctor, and he can't explain the feeling very well, so it could be sprained or strained, but most likely not dislocated, unless he's lying to me; if he popped his shoulder back into place, I wouldn't be able to tell unless it popped back out again. Gakuhou will probably know. So I finish up checking him out and other than his ribs and all the bruises, he's… okay, I guess? Okay isn't really how I'd put it, but I don't really know how else to describe it. After that, I help him back into his shirt and check for broken bones in his face since his jaw is a bit swollen, but it seems fine. Then I test him for a concussion to the best of my ability and decide that yes, he does have one, but it's mild and not too big of a concern. 

When I call Gakuhou back in, he has some numbing stuff ready, as well as pain relievers (for kids, no way in hell would he give a child the strong shit). Shouto takes them gratefully and then allows Gakuhou to stitch his lip. Discomfort shows on his face, but he's doing his best not to cry or whimper… one slips out every now and then, and he squeezes my hand while Gakuhou apologizes and tells him it'll be over soon. True to his word, five minutes later and he's done, packing up before checking out Shouto's shoulder. It's probably only strained, he said, which was relieving to hear because shoulder injuries worse than that suck. Gakuhou gives me a look insinuating I need to put the treatment stuff on my back so the two that reopened don't get infected, and I nod before telling Shouto we need to go to bed. 

Shouto follows me to Gakushuu's room silently, looking around the house as we walk. The Todoroki mansion is really big, way bigger than my house and this house combined probably… where they live is not really a secret, and if it is, it's not a very well kept one. This must be very strange for him. I turn on the light and he walks in ahead of me, sitting on the bed and getting under the blankets. Okay, so I'm out of a bed… that's fair, he's been through a lot tonight. “You don't want pajamas?”

“You're bigger than me,” he deadpans. 

“Gakushuu has some old pajamas in his closet; I will get them down in a few minutes,” Gakuhou interrupts us; someone is grumpy tonight. “Karma, come on. I need to change your bandages.” Sighing, I pull off my hoodie and shirt, putting them in my dirty clothes pile before following him to the bathroom again. “I am not upset with you,” he says softly as he removes my old bandages. “You did the right thing, but I am concerned about what this may mean.” I give a questioning hum, wincing as he applies whatever the hell this is to keep the wounds clean and a little numb. It smells weird, which is why I hate putting it on, but he goes easy on it this time, probably since we have company. “You will not be here forever, Karma. Will Tadaomi even allow you to see him?”

Ooh, that's right… Daddy hates everyone. “Shouto is just a kid, he won't care.” Probably. All I have to do is pout and I should be able to get my way on this one. “I think it'll be fine. Besides, it's not like he's planning on living with me.”

Sighing, he pets my head and starts wrapping me up like some sort of present. “True,” he hums softly, “I would rather you not get close, only to be torn apart, though. That will not be good on either one of you.” Oh, so he's actually just worried… that's surprising. 

“It'll be fine… if he tries to keep us apart, I'll just…” Do some begging, that should work. “I'll make it work.” I'll sneak out if I have to. Shouto needs me and I refuse to be away from him over something as stupid as jealousy or ridiculous delusions concocted by Daddy. He nods, finishing up my bandaging before leading me back to the room where Shouto is still curled up in Gakushuu's bed, eyes open and blank. While Gakuhou retrieves the pjs, I sit down on the bed and put my hand on Shouto's head. “You doing okay?”

Shrugging, he looks up at me. “Sleepy.” That's not all, I can see it in his eyes. There's a plethora of questions running through his cute little head. 

Some soft purple and black pajama pants are handed to me and I give them to Shouto, who holds them out to make sure they'll fit. “Karma, will you be sleeping on the couch, or should I pull out the air mattress?”

“Neither,” Shouto furrows his eyebrows and pulls me close to him by my arm, hugging it almost possessively to his chest. 

Okay then…? That's awkward. Then again, I've shared a bed with Gakushuu, so by this point nothing should phase me. Gakuhou raises an eyebrow at me and I give him a sheepish look, “The bed is big enough for two, I guess.”

 _If you say so,_ is left unsaid. He simply nods and pets my head, “Good night, then. When does Mr. Todoroki need to be home?”

“Six… I'll walk.”

What…? That's so early!! What kind of madman trains at such an ungodly hour!? Psychos, obviously. “No, I will drive you. I have been meaning to speak with your father anyway.” Shouto tenses and I just blink at the man because what? Have they ever spoken before? How and why? “Good night, boys.” He kisses my head and then walks out, closing the door behind him. 

“Who is he?” Shouto blinks at me, obviously confused, and I am too. How does he know Enji Todoroki?

“Gakuhou Asano… he's the board chairman of the Kunugigaoka middle and high school.” Shouto's eyes go wide. “You know him?”

Shouto shakes his head, “Not really. Dad wants to send me to school there, but I don't think they like each other.”

That doesn't surprise me, pretty sure Gakuhou told me that he didn't like or trust Enji from the very beginning of all this. “Well… if anything goes wrong tomorrow morning, just text me, okay?” He nods. “Alright, let's get in our pajamas and head to bed.” He nods again. As I change, I feel his eyes on me… specifically, my back. If I had to guess, he's probably curious about the scars, most people are when they see them. Usually being a delinquent and getting into fights is my excuse, but he probably knows not to ask about them so I won't have to give him an excuse. Since I am sharing a bed with him, I begrudgingly decide to put on a stupid shirt for the night, despite shirts being wildly uncomfortable. When I turn, I find him all ready to go in bed, so I turn the lights off and scoot in next to him, plugging my phone into the charger next to the bed and setting it on the floor so I won't wake up to any images in the middle of the night. 

At first things are silent, but of course he breaks it… I knew this wouldn't be that easy. He turns on his side and pokes my shoulder. “Why did you kiss that girl? You said you liked boys.”

Sighing, I turn on my side as well and try to make him out in the darkness. “I said I mostly like boys. Rio is an exception.” There's just something about her that's always pulled me in and I don't know what. It may just be the fact that she makes me feel genuinely loved… like my mom used to. “But I'm not dating her. We're just friends.”

“Friends who kiss?”

“Sometimes. Anymore questions, detective?”

He giggles, nodding. “What happened to your back?”

“Bad things,” I answer, not willing to give him any more information than that. “Anything else?”

“Why aren't you at your home?”

“Daddy and I got in a fight, we both need to cool off.”

He hums, “Like me?”

Eh, not really. Actually wait… no, it is like him. Daddy hurt me the worst he's ever hurt me before, and then he kept hurting me, so Gakuhou decided I needed to stay somewhere else. Our situations are similar this time. “I mean… I guess. Daddy is just possessive.”

Shouto nods before petting my hair, “Mine is, too. Like really, really possessive. One time my big brother tried to make me move in with him, and Dad got really mad. No one tried to take me away after that.”

Poor thing… at least Daddy had time decency to let me go for at least a little bit. Then again, he was provoked into doing that, and it was mainly because I was useless to him in my injured state. Still, he at least let me go. It is surprising that Shouto was even allowed to leave tonight, though… where did his dad expect him to go? “That sucks… I would take you away if I could.” He giggles a little. “So where did he think you were going to stay tonight then?”

There's a few beats of silence before he shrugs, “I have a key to the gym… maybe there. Or the streets even, he knows I'm not stupid enough to get kidnapped.”

I'd kidnap him if I could… and I mean that in the best of ways, not creepily at all. All I want is to get him away from his father because he's a total asshole. “Do you run away a lot?”

“No,” he shakes his head, still playing with my hair, which makes me incredibly sleepy. “This is the first time.” Look at what rebelliousness I've encouraged! If his dad ever finds out I've been helping him, he's probably going to murder me. “I've stayed in the guest house quite a few times on my own, though… but that's not really running away since it's on our property.” Ah, the guest house—wait, how fucking rich are these people!? “This is the first time I've ever stayed with a friend.”

While I'm glad he seems so excited about this, I know I need to come clean. “Shouto… after I go back home, it won't be easy for me to leave, and you may not be able to stay the night like this. I promise I will try my best to be there for you, but…” My voice trails off and I just sigh. What am I supposed to tell him? That my Daddy is crazy and doesn't like it when I leave the house, not even to go to school? 

His hand drops to my face, small thumb gently brushing over my cheek… trying to soothe me. Of course I appreciate the sentiment and what he's trying to do, but I don't deserve his kindness. Not when I can't be sure that I can return the favor after I go back home. “Don't worry, I understand… I'll try not to bug you after you have to go home.”

“You can still text me, Shouto,” I say quickly, because my daddy probably won't care in that aspect so long as he knows who it is, but… just going out to the park everyday? Don't think that's gonna happen. He won't trust me enough to do that… plus, he's going to want to make up for lost time, I'm almost sure of that. “And if it's urgent, I'll leave. You just have to tell me, okay?”

Silence, but I can make out his face a bit in the moonlight; he's contemplating something. “O-Okay…” he says finally, retracting his hand and shifting a bit.

But I know that tone… he's worried about getting me in trouble or something, so he's planning on not telling me if he's ever in trouble. “Shouto, I swear to you that you won't get me in trouble. Just tell me when you need me, okay? I want to be there for you… I want to help you.” He nods, more confident this time. “Thank you.” He yawns and I laugh a little. “Shall we sleep?”

“Yeah… good night, Karma,” he smiles sleepily. 

I pet his head and then turn my back on him, “Good night, Shouto.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. 
> 
> Next chapter: the return of Gakushuu. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes and thank you for reading, kudos, and comments. It’s appreciated.


	35. The Return of Gakushuu Asano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma finally has enough, Gakushuu decides he’s coming home, and Karma panics and runs straight to the park to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up later today... like within the next 24 hours, probably in the evening. I’ve been trying to work on this all night, but my mind refused to focus. It’s like past one in the morning now and I’m tired. I wanted to combine this and the next chapter, but I felt the next chapter was better with the one after it. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

June 25th, 4:37 p.m. 

**Karma**  
I've had some time to think… it pains me to say this, but after what you've been sending me these last five or so days, I can't do it anymore. You win. Are you happy now? I am legitimately sick. I've been unable to hold pretty much anything down because I'm so fucking anxious and worked up all the time. You're not the person I thought you were… it'd be one thing if you just told me you didn't feel the same way, let me sulk for a few days, and then be best friends again. But you have continually sent these images to me for only God knows what reason and it's disgusting. What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?? Is it because I'm attracted to boys? Does it really bother you that much that you feel the need to send me these images?? Are you trying to rub it in my face that you're “normal” and a heterosexual? Or was this just some sort of elaborate scheme to break me? Was this just a game? Have you been fucking with me this whole time? Either way, I've had enough, Gakushuu. If this is your way of rejecting me, message fucking received. Please just stop sending those pictures because if I see one more I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. What you're doing isn't okay and I'm sick of it. No more, Gakushuu. Please. Just stop. I'll leave you alone if that's what you want. Just stop sending me the fucking pictures. Okay??? Thank you.

_Gakushuu  
mobile…_

_Gakushuu  
mobile…_

_Gakushuu  
mobile…_

**Karma**  
Stop calling. I'm not answering.

**Gakushuu**  
There seems to be some sort of misunderstanding because I haven't sent you anything at all these last few days. I've given you space, just as you asked. Even if I was reluctant to do so, I did it anyway because you're my best friend. So please tell me what the hell is happening because I don't know what you're talking about Karma, I swear. This isn't a game to me; you're not a game. I don't hate you at all, nor am I bothered by your sexuality. 

**Karma**  
These are not the only ones I have. There are plenty more. I wake up to them; I get them during my times of relaxation; I get them when I'm with my friends; I get them when I'm trying to fucking sleep; I get them when I'm eating. I'm fucking sick of it. Stop this. Please.  
_[image]_  
_[image]_  
_[image]_  
_[image]_  
_[image]_

**Gakushuu**  
What the fuck!?!??? I swear I haven't been sending those!! Where did you get them???? When were these even taken!?????? Karma I am so fucking sorry you had to see this shit. I didn't mean for this to happen, and I certainly didn't mean for things to escalate this far. I don't even like Touka! I swear! It's just good stress relief sometimes, especially since you've been ignoring me, along with everyone else, while also staying with Manami so I've been irritated!! Who's to say you're not doing the same exact thing!? There's nothing between us, I swear. It's meaningless. Just like with you and Rio, and probably Manami. Just to blow off steam. I swear to you that I didn't know about the pictures and I'll get to the bottom of it. Give me the number. 

**Karma**  
Oh… you haven't? Really? Like, you promise?? Pinky swear? If so, that is so good. I'm so relieved you're not the culprit. Manami???? You really think I'm doing anything like that with Manami!??!?? Well since you're so fucking worried about it I guess I'll tell you the truth: I'm staying with your dad at your house. I hadn't seen Manami at all this summer until yesterday, we went out for coffee. I've only seen Rio a few times. Yes, things did happen on one occasion, but it's not like you can say shit since you're busy dryfucking Touka multiple times every fucking day. The rest of the time I've spent with Shouto or your dad trying to forget about how much you've hurt me.  
_[contact info]_

**Gakushuu**  
YOU'VE BEEN AT MY FUCKING HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME????????? Are you insane Karma!?!?? What if he hurt you?????? And I swear to you on my life and my mother's grave that I had no part in the pictures. I had no idea about it. Do you honestly believe I would want photographic evidence of any of that? Or that I would willingly provide things like that to YOU of, all people?

**Gakushuu**  
Also, we will talk about Rio later, but I am not happy about this. What I do with Touka has nothing to do with you and Rio!!! Seriously!?? Why would you spend time with my fucking dad!? Who the hell is Shouto?? A male version of Rio??

**Karma**  
Yup. Nope. He wouldn't. Yeah… I guess you're right. You're smarter than that. Dunno why what I do with Rio matters to you but okay. It actually has a lot to do with it. Yes. Because he's nice to me. Shouto is fucking 11 years old, thank you, and he treats me better than any of you ever have. 

**Gakushuu**  
I'm coming home. 

**Karma**  
Your dad will just get mad if you do that. 

**Gakushuu**  
I don't care. We need to talk in person. 

**Karma**  
Gakuhou will get really mad. You need to stay. Please. 

**Gakushuu**  
Nope. I already finished all the work for this week and next week. If you aren't at my house I will track you down and pummel you. You got that??? I will be home in three fucking hours. Stay put or else.

Karma tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail every time. Panicked, he told Gakuhou he was leaving and wouldn't be back until later before sprinting to the park. Shouto wouldn't be there, but he didn't care; it was his safe space now, too, and he didn't want Gakushuu to find him no matter what. He was so fucking dead this time.

xx

Karma was about to shit his pants as he hid in the tree he'd really grown accustomed to this past week after spending more time with Shouto. Sometimes they would people watch, dubbing over people's conversations or poking fun at them for their own amusement. Other times they would sit and draw in comfortable silence; just being in the presence of the other was enough. Speaking was unnecessary, and silence between them was never really awkward. 

But right now he was panicking. It had been almost four hours and so far no one had called or texted him about anything; Gakushuu hadn't angrily demanded to know where he was, and Gakuhou hadn't called to ask why exactly his son was home and clearly upset. Of course Gakuhou had called him almost as soon as he ran out of the house, inquiring about where he'd gone off to in such a hurry, but that was it. Fuck, he was so scared. He didn't think he'd ever been this scared in his entire life. Okay, he has been, but it's been a while. This outburst completely took him off guard; he certainly hadn't expected Gakushuu to just up and come home. Maybe he was bluffing, trying to scare Karma. It'd been way over the allotted time he'd been given… it was nearing 9 o'clock. 

Maybe he shouldn't have taken those threats so seriously. Shit. He'd just wasted four hours in a fucking tree like an idiot. Of course he'd been drawing a bit, but it was a little hard to concentrate when he was worried about having his face bashed in… he couldn't fight back when it came to Gakushuu. It was so stupid. Why was he too scared to fight him!? Why was Gakushuu so mad at him anyway!? What did Karma even do other than ignore him for a very good reason? Sighing, he pulled out his phone and called Gakuhou, who answered right away. “Where are you, Karma? It's late. Have you eaten dinner?”

“Um… I've been at the park… and no, I haven't eaten. Is there uh, anything wrong?” Like your son? Has he come home demanding to see me or anything of that nature? These last few hours had been so stressful and all Karma wanted to do was cry. 

“Other than the fact that you are not home and have not eaten?” He actually seemed rather perturbed about this, much to Karma's surprise. “No, nothing is wrong.” Pausing, and then narrowing his eyes a bit, he asked the same question. “Is there anything wrong on your end?”

Karma froze up, biting his lip and trying to act natural; he hadn't thought this through. Telling Gakuhou he'd pissed his son off enough to leave camp early was not something he felt particularly inclined to do. “No… just Shouto. Things are okay, though.” Shouto was still able to see him, even after Gakuhou had gone over there to return the child. Apparently the two men did talk a little, but Shouto wasn't allowed to stick around to find out what was said, which annoyed them. The two redheads tried to put their heads together and figure it out, but to no avail. Whatever was discussed, it didn't really seem to change anything. Either way, they could still see each other, so they didn't care. “Do you need me home soon?”

“I would prefer you not stay out so late, and I would also like you to eat, but no; it is not as though I need you home this instant.” There was a long sigh before he spoke again. “Are you sure you are okay? You seemed rather panicked when you left, and you still do not sound all that great.”

Karma nodded despite Gakuhou not being able to see him, “I'm fine. Shouto is fine. Everything is okay. I may go over to Rio's, but I'm not sure yet…” Like if Gakushuu showed up in the next ten minutes. 

Another sigh, this time more annoyed. “Now that is something I would rather you not do. Can you not stay with another friend? Why can you not come home?”

“No reason, just… I dunno. I have to go.” Then he hung up because Gakuhou was obviously not buying his act and he'd slip up if he kept talking. Sighing, he looked up at the sky through the leaves… stars were so pretty. Unfortunately there weren't a lot out due to the clouds scattered throughout the night sky. Just as he was about to climb down, a hand grabbed his foot and he almost screamed—scratch that, he legitimately screamed—jolting back and nearly falling out of the damn tree. 

“Karma!” Shouto's voice—thank God—met his ears and he was able to try and calm down a bit; if it had been Gakushuu, he would have sprinted away without looking back. Didn't matter how hard he tried to keep calm, his heart was still attempting to burst out of his chest and his breathing was nearing hyperventilation, but he was just so glad it was Shouto. “I didn't mean to scare you!” The small boy held out his hand, wanting Karma to pull him up so he didn't have to climb. Once he was up in the tree, he hugged Karma and patted his back gently. “I didn't think you'd get scared, I apologize.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, he laughed softly and hugged Shouto back, one arm around his middle and head resting atop his bright red hair that was far softer than anything Karma had ever felt before. “You scared the shit outta me, kid.” Never in his life had he been so relieved to see Shouto, though; those strong arms wound themselves even tighter around the boy, and Karma couldn't help but laugh again. “I'm so glad it was you.”

Confused, Shouto tried to look up at him, but his head was kind of trapped beneath Karma's, so he settled for simply glancing up and patting Karma's forearms gently. This was very unlike his best friend, but he was not about to complain and just cuddled in closer. “Who else would it be?”

Now Karma wasn't sure what to do… he'd told Shouto a little about Gakushuu, and how Karma might have had a tiny bit of a crush on him, but he liked someone else; that was about it. The day before, Shouto had been there when one of the pictures came and that was fun to explain—yes, that is Gakushuu, and no, he didn't ask for a picture like that, and yes, it did bother him a little bit, but no, he didn't need to worry his cute little head about it—but he didn't really understand what was happening. Shouto knew the picture upset Karma, though, and that was enough for him to not like Gakushuu. If they met… Shouto could be a little firecracker, and Karma didn't know how Gakushuu would react. “Um… I might have pissed Gakushuu off, and he might come looking for me.”

Just like that, Shouto broke away from him and grabbed his cheeks, giving him a very serious look. “Do you need a place to stay? My Dad doesn't check the guest house.” But he shook his head, he wasn't going to burden Shouto… he was eleven, too young to worry about a teenager. “I don't want you to be sad again… you've been happier lately, outside of the whole picture thing.”

Yeah, he had been… honestly, he hadn't felt this good in a long time. Fuck, he hadn't realized just how unhappy he was until he had a taste of freedom. But now everything in his life was threatening to burst at the seams and he was terrified. What if Gakushuu tried to do what he'd done after midterms? Or worse, what if he tried to physically fight Karma? That was scary. Could he even bring himself to do such a thing? “I don't want to risk it. If your dad found out about me, it wouldn't end well.” They'd grown so close, and Karma didn't want to sever their relationship because he was too scared to face his best friend. Why was he even worried? Gakushuu was kind… most of the time. “Why are you here, anyway?” That was when Shouto clammed up a bit and curled in on himself… that wasn't good. “Shou… what did he do this time, hon?”

“He… he…” Shouto sniffed a bit before leaning in, resting his head on Karma's arm. “He made me fight another kid… at the gym. It didn't go so well for me because I didn't want to hurt him, so… so when we got home, he threw me and was really mean…” More often than not, Shouto was vague about what happened; even if it was Karma, he didn't want to risk anything. Endangering the lives of his mother and sister wasn't worth it… “My… my shoulder… he…” Shouto faced him, full blown tears running down his cheeks. “It popped out of socket when he threw me and he slammed it back in and it hurts so bad and…!”

Karma quickly took off his hoodie and made it into a makeshift sling for Shouto, adjusting it for him and making sure it was good enough while the child just looked at him with wide, confused eyes. “For now this will do, don't move it.” Shouto nodded and then winced when Karma suddenly whacked him on the thigh, a furious glint in his eyes. “ _Goddammit_ , Shouto! What the hell were you thinking!?” Sighing angrily, he held Shouto close to his chest, tears stinging his eyes. “You have to fight back. You don't have a choice, Shouto. If you keep this up, you're only going to hurt more…” _You're going to turn out like me,_ was left unsaid. “I know it's hard, and I know you hate it, but unless you want to end up with a body like mine, you have to fight until you can get away from him.” To be honest, Karma wished Shouto would be selfish… he wished he'd stop worrying about his mom and sister and just tell _someone_ who could actually do something! There was no way Shouto would ever do that. And Karma couldn't hold that against him… 

For that one moment, Shouto just let himself loose, let himself cry and bawl loudly in the warmth of Karma's arms and into his chest. As much as it pained him to admit it, Karma was right… this wasn't the way. He'd have to appease his father just enough or else he'd get nowhere. Things would just keep getting worse, and who's to say his dad wouldn't take it out on the others anyway? And hearing Karma sound so sad for him, and worried that he'd end up with as many scars as he had… it made Shouto's chest tight. A lot of the scars he had seen, and they never failed to make his eyes water. His best friend didn't deserve what he went through either, but apparently they were different. Not that Shouto understood how, but Karma insisted that their circumstances weren't the same… which he supposed made sense considering Karma wasn't protecting anyone. But still, it sucked because Shouto couldn't do anything to help. “Okay…” he whispered, “I'll be better.”

“Thank you,” Karma breathed into his hair. “I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but I know you can get out of it when you're older.”

Shouto closed his eyes and burrowed into him more, “I know we'll both make it out… no one deserves this. 'Specially not you, Karma. You're so nice, and kind… warm. I'm glad you sat under my tree.”

Somehow, this kid always managed to bring a smile to Karma's face, even when he thought it was impossible. “Thank you, Shouto. I'm glad I did, too.” Once they both calmed down, Karma decided they should get out of the tree so he could check out Shouto's shoulder. All he had for a light was the lamp over their heads, it wasn't nearly enough light, but he made do. Yeah, it was terribly bruised… that poor child. “Why doesn't he take you to the hospital?” Shouto shrugged his good shoulder, but he assumed it was so no one knew he was being abused, as did Karma. “Asshole… this could definitely pass as a fighting injury.” He told Shouto what he should do to care for it and tips to make his life a little easier, having gone through the same thing once or twice, himself. “Is he expecting you home?” Shouto shook his head and Karma sighed, shaking his head, upset and distraught. “I'll call—

“Karma…”

—fuck.”

There was no mistaking that voice… even though he didn't want to, he went against his better judgment and risked a glance up. Violet eyes locked onto his and held him captive… his entire body felt paralyzed as the teen inched closer. He felt Shouto trying to move, probably to try and get in front of him to prevent whatever altercation was about to happen, but Karma held him in place. An eleven year old was not fighting his battles for him… no way. Every footstep echoed in the silence of the night, making Karma's heart pound faster; this was it, he was going to die. Those violet orbs looked incredibly angry and Karma wanted to run, speak, so something other than stand there like a fucking statue. But couldn't will himself to move even a millimeter. Once Gakushuu was right in front of him, he still couldn't look away… fuck, he smelled so good. He'd missed that scent he'd grown so accustomed to over the weeks they'd spent together. They were so close that Karma could feel his gentle breaths… eyes zeroed in on his, not letting him go. Without even being touched, Karma was frozen in place. 

The first words out of his mouth were unexpected to say the least. “This Shouto?” Karma nodded slowly, jerkily. Still terrified of the punishment he could very well receive at any moment. The threats he'd been given for ignoring him and being a brat could go on and on. Of course he was scared, especially when he knew just how scary Gakushuu could be. “He's hurt?” Karma nodded again, not looking away and hoping his face didn't look as terrified as he felt. “Come on, let's go home.” Just like that? That was it? Or maybe Gakushuu was showing self restraint for Shouto's sake; either way, Karma was grateful. But he didn't move… he couldn't. So Gakushuu reached out to take ahold of his wrist, surprised but undeterred when Karma flinched away on instinct; he tried again, latching onto it firmly, but not so hard as to hurt him, and gently pulled him through the park and to his car. The three of them stayed silent for a long while. 

It wasn't until they'd been on the road for a few minutes that someone spoke up. Shouto. “S'cuse me, Gakushuu…” Said teen looked in the rear view mirror, making eye contact with blue and grey eyes… the scar over his left eye was disconcerting, but he said nothing of it. It wasn't his business. “Karma is still your friend, right?”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. Why was that even a question?

“Then you should apologize to him… he's been sad because of that stupid girl.”

Golden eyes went wide and he was about to scold Shouto for even bringing that up, but was cut off by Gakushuu's charming laugh. “You're right. I'm sorry, Karma. You had every right to be upset. What happened wasn't fair to you at all and I took care of it.” A devious smirk crept up to his lips at that last part and Karma felt his heart stop: what did he do!? “We can talk more at home.”

“But… but your dad?” Karma was so confused. 

Rolling his eyes, Gakushuu reached over and placed his hand atop Karma's shaking one to calm him down. Of course he expected Karma to be a tad bit worked up, but this was a bit much. Didn't he know that Gakushuu would never hurt him? He didn't have to be afraid of him like he was Tadaomi. “I talked to him already. Told him I finished all the work and wasn't feeling well.” That was… good? But why would the man keep that from him!? “He said he did not mind if I came home early and that we had a lot to discuss. Care to explain?”

Shrinking down in his seat, Karma felt his throat go dry. This was going to turn into a whole thing… and he was going to get dragged right into the middle of it. “Um… I would assume it would be about the changes he's made around the house. It shouldn't come from me.” Annoyed, Gakushuu rolled his eyes, but didn't push Karma further. “I'm um… are you…?”

“We'll talk later,” he smiled that damn charming smile of his; the one that could probably get anyone to do anything. “Just relax, Karma.” They made eye contact and Karma felt his body relax… but his heart continued to pound. Gakushuu was pissed at him… he could just tell. Once Shouto was gone, he was in for it. He'd revel in these moments while he still could. So he just nodded and tilted his head back, focusing on the warm hand on his own. Things would be okay for a little while. That was good. 

xx

Gakushuu pulled into the driveway and sighed, glancing up at his bedroom window and praying things would go okay. What if his dad tried to hurt him? After what happened the last time, he wasn't sure what to expect. But he couldn't back out now, so he simply shut off his car and took a deep breath. This time, it was Karma reassuring him, trying to get him to calm down. “It'll be okay,” Karma whispered with a small smile, giving Gakushuu's hand a gentle squeeze before getting out and opening the door for Shouto, who clung to his arm and steered clear of Gakushuu… he didn't quite trust him, not after what he'd heard Karma say to Rio… some of the texts his supposed best friend sent were really mean and scary. Why would he want to wring Karma's neck? Or break his ankles? That was mean… 

Karma offered to help Gakushuu with his luggage, but he declined, saying he didn't want to cause any strain on his injuries. Which were pretty much healed, but Karma chose not say anything because he knew Gakushuu wouldn't change his mind. So Karma just led Shouto inside, completely bypassing Gakuhou and heading straight for the bathroom to take a better look at his shoulder. The bruising looked way worse in this lighting… shit, it looked bad. Worse than his own, _bad_. Karma panicked. “Fuck. Gakuhou…!” The man rushed upstairs, took one look at Shouto's shoulder and gasped… he had never injured Gakushuu to such an extent. What a pitiful man, hurting his son like that. “I think he needs to go to the hospital.” 

When Shouto shook his head, as if horrified at the mere thought of going there, Gakuhou sighed; just like Karma. “I am terribly sorry, Mr. Todoroki, but I cannot treat that. It could lead to future complications if we do not have it looked at now.”

The child looked to Karma, a pleading look in his eyes. “I can't. You know I can't. Karma, please.” But Karma averted his gaze… he didn't know what to say. “Karma, _please_.” Tears streamed down his face; the boy didn't know what to do. If his dad got in trouble, things would be bad… 

“You fell out of the tree,” Karma spoke softly. “I'm sorry, Shouto. But that's all I've got. You have to go.”

Gakuhou closed his eyes and sighed through his nose, as much as he hated lying for other people, if he didn't, this boy could get in a lot of trouble. “That should work. You were walking and found him on the ground.” Karma nodded sadly, giving Shouto a reassuring smile. “You can take Gakushuu's car…”

As bad as it sounded, Karma was relieved he wouldn't be there for whatever went on between them. Who knew how things would play out between the Asano duo? Both had a few issues, so he really didn't want to be involved. So he nodded, leading Shouto out and heading to Gakushuu's room, where he was unpacking. “I need to borrow your car.” 

Without protest, he tossed him the keys, “Don't wreck it.” Karma nodded and led Shouto outside and to the car… he hoped everything would work out for both parties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu is back. I’m excited for the next chapter. Interactions between the Asano’s, and then Karma and Gakushuu during the night.
> 
> Please forgive any mistakes, as I am a bit tired at the moment and may have missed some in the last few paragraphs. Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I appreacte it.


	36. Good to be Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu and his father have a conversation about everything. Karma and Shouto return, and Karma convinces Gakushuu to sleep on the floor next to the bed. Gakushuu is threatened by an eleven year old, and then Karma and Gakushuu have a chance to talk and... stuff.
> 
> Gakushuu’s POV and then Third POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this was supposed to be out earlier but I fell asleep and it messed everything up. This chapter was written at like three in the morning a few weeks ago so there were a lot of mistakes I had to fix. I miscalculated the amount of time it would take me to get through this. Like seriously, it took me almost four hours because I kept getting distracted or didn’t know how to deal with an issue. But hey, it was up within 24 hours, just not as early as I thought. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter. Karma and Gakushuu finally get to talk some things out.

**Gakushuu**

Father does not touch me, he barely even looks at me. We simply sit in his office, him at his desk and me on the floor looking through some of his books. I haven't been in here for a very long time… five or six years at least. Since Mama died, probably. Not that I want to think about that. Sighing softly, I look to Father; just sitting at his desk with a contemplative look on his face, as if unsure of what to do. About what? No clue. Weren't we supposed to be discussing something? Karma had said something about change, which I had definitely seen in my bedroom, but why? What happened? No way am I about to speak first, so I just let him think and go through his many books. Why does he have so many books? Has he read all of these? Just how much time does he have on his hands? When he still doesn't speak, I grab a random book and start reading, might as well do something while he… contemplates? What is he doing? Seriously. Why am I in here? This is awkward and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. 

Just as I finish the third chapter of some psychology book, he speaks. “Would you rather sit in the chair?”

“I'm fine down here,” I reply without looking at him. Because I feel more comfortable on the floor and not in front of him… if I'm near him, he could hurt me. Down here, I have a better chance of getting away before he strikes since Karma isn't here to intervene this time. He seems to be close to that Shouto kid… it's bothersome. 

Nodding, he continues. “I have not been a very good father to you…” No shit. Can I leave now? “I am working to change that… the way I handled things was wrong. Treating you less than human was extremely wrong of me and I… I apologize, Gakushuu. Not just for that, but for all the harm I have brought to you. There were better ways to handle your imperfections, so I apologize for the way you have been treated.” He… apologizes? Seriously? My _father_ is apologizing… _to me_ , for how he raised me? No. I don't believe this for a second. This is forced. This is only so he doesn't go to jail or something. What he did to me was awful… so fucking awful and fucked up…! And he thinks I'll just get over it because he gives me an apology he probably doesn't even mean? No. No!

“Okay.” Because I don't know what else to say at the moment. This is baffling. 

He inhales deeply, turning to look at me; he looks upset and tense, like he wants to hit me, but refrains. Is this some sort of sick joke? What the hell is happening? “From now on, I will be better. You are still expected to earn perfect marks and do well, but I will not lay a hand on you if you fail.”

“Sure you won't.” Failure and imperfections are his triggers, so I highly doubt he's being truthful here; he can't control himself enough to let even the tiniest mistake slide.

His eye twitches and I want to smirk, but hold it back in fear of him attacking me. Father can be crazy; I've seen that first hand and I am not taking any chances right now. I've got enough on my plate with Karma and all the crap going on with him. “Gakushuu, I am being serious. I am attempting to change. All of the tools that I used for punishment have been burned, leash and collar included. It is over.”

My eyes go wide because he burned them? Seriously!? Even his beloved leash and collar he loved to degrade me with? Is he… serious? Scanning my father over, I do not detect any sort of deceit, but it's not hard to tell this is very forced and difficult for him. Whatever happened, he genuinely seems to want to try and change for the better. But I don't care, because what he's done to me is unforgivable. It's too late. The damage has been done. He ruined me. He ruined any chance we had at being a normal family. “Good luck with that, Father.”

Sighing, he crosses one leg over the other and just stares at me. “I am going to try and be an actual father to you from here on out.”

Now I smirk—no, not even smirk, I full out grin in what is probably a very Karma-like fashion, letting out an incredulous laugh. Because no, he doesn't get to do that now…! Not after everything he's put me through. This is beyond angering and I want to explode; nothing has ever made me so furious, and I want to lash out at him and yell at him and throw things at him! But I don’t. “Don't bother with that. You will never be my father.” Taken aback, his eyes darken and I just roll my eyes. “See? Because you can't change. You'll always be like this.” It won't change. Nothing will change. He'll last until I mess up.

“Just because I am no longer harming you, does not mean I cannot discipline you, Gakushuu. I could always take away your phone, not let you play sports, forbid you from seeing Karma or _Touka_ ,” he snaps at me, eyes narrowed and focused on my own. It feels like my heart stops because I had completely forgotten that he knew about her. How much did Karma tell him!? As if reading my mind, he continues. “I know some… not a lot, but some. Lucky for you, you seem to have scared Karma into silence.” Oh thank God. “But, from what he has told me, and how he has been acting, I have come up with a theory.” When I don't answer, he gives me this bone chilling smirk, getting to his feet and looking around his bookshelf, probably to appear disinterested, or so he's not tempted to hit me for my pathetic display of weakness. “You and Touka have been intimate. First, it was a surprise to you. The next time was when you decided that you liked it… maybe not her, but you liked the feelings intimacy gave you, you liked the way her touches felt, especially when thinking about Karma…” 

Okay, I knew my father was very perceptive and good at reading situations, but I did not know he was at this level. How did he know any of this!? Before I can protest, he holds up a hand, “We both know that you like him, do not deny it; I could not care less about your sexuality.” What? What!? But I'm not…! How would he even…? Words won't form; I just stare at him with wide eyes. “Anyway, you kept at it. You led her on, she got jealous that you were not serious about her, and started harassing Karma with the help of that boy… Ryuunosuke, was it? The one who attempted to rile you up.” Then he stares at me, kneeling down and getting in my face, tilting my chin up with his finger and thumb so I can't avoid his dark, spine chilling gaze that has me paralyzed in my spot. “Either taking pictures of the two of you participating in some sort of sexual act, or simply giving Karma very detailed descriptions about what you were doing together, while you were none the wiser.” His eyes narrow dangerously and my breath catches in my throat. “Am I wrong, Gakushuu?”

No. He's not wrong and I don't know how. When I manage to shake my head, he lets out an amused huff. “Of course I am not. How dense are you not to know what was happening? Was it pictures?” I nod, ashamed, because I hate knowing that Touka and Ryuunosuke had access to very compromising pictures of me… things they could use to blackmail me. “Idiotic child,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Had this been a month ago, you would be on the ground beneath my foot…” By the terrifying look in his eyes, it's clear that he'd like to do that very thing right this moment. “But now…? As upset as I am, you can take care of it. You made a mistake, you know you made a mistake, and I expect you to fix it. If not, I will not touch you no matter how much I want to, but there will be punishment if they spread around. I could ground you, I could even kick you out of school for misconduct. We will just have to see how I am feeling.”

Bastard… he's clearly still insane but he's also gotten better at self-control within the last month, somehow? Also, how dare he underestimate me. “I got Ryuunosuke in trouble for cheating, and I made sure to steal his phone to get rid of what he had… and then dropped it in the lake. As for Touka… I threatened to get her expelled and dug up a bunch of information to ruin her life. Hopefully that works… because I doubt she actually deleted all of the pictures.” She's not stupid, and is actually quite cunning, so it wouldn't surprise me if she had backups.

For the first time tonight, my father actually looks pleased. “Good boy.” He pets my head like I'm some sort of child and tightens his grip on my chin. “If I ever look like I am about to lose it. Leave.” Don't have to tell me twice. So I nod and he releases me before getting to his feet. “One more thing…” He says as he sits back down at his desk, raising an eyebrow at me. 

I gulp, unsure of where this is going. “What…?”

“Did you and that girl have sex?”

The mere thought of that makes me want to throw up… I can't imagine ever having sex with her. “No, sir.”

“How far did you go?”

This is embarrassing! Why should I have to tell him!? His eyes narrow and I cave because he is being fairly lenient with me right now after what I've done. “Um… we just touched… I was fully clothed, she took her clothes off whenever she felt like it. But I never like… touched her anywhere I shouldn't have.” Just her boobs and butt… one time she tried to get me to go further, but I couldn't. It made me feel too weird. Not fluttery, just wrong. Once, she'd made me walk in on her masturbating and I legit passed out. Not my proudest moment, but it reminded me of something and made me realize something else, so my brain just kind of short circuited. After that she typically left the lower half of her clothes on. 

“So no oral sex?” I shake my head quickly and he actually looks relieved, which makes sense… STDs and all that. Not that she didn't try to initiate it, but I didn't want to. “Alright, then.” Then he folds his hands on his desk and takes a deep breath before looking at me like we didn't just have that horribly awkward conversation. “Aside from that nonsense, did you have fun, at least?”

If this is him trying to act like a father, I'd rather him just ignore me all the time. Talking to him about my day and acting like a family isn't normal… it will never be normal. I don't forgive him! Not at all! God, I don't think we've really talked like this in our entire lives. But I answer anyway, just because I'm still alone with him and I’d rather not take any chances. “Not really… I knew most of what they were teaching and I was worried about Karma most of the time… even after he got mad at me.”

Father nods in understanding, “Speaking of Karma…” This piques my interest so I perk up a bit; what about Karma? “I do not want you to pursue him. Not now.” What…? Not that I was planning to, but I raise a questioning eyebrow anyway, curious of his thoughts on the matter of Karma. “Right now, he needs a friend, not a serious relationship.” That much I already knew, and I think Karma does, too. “You just need to keep him on the right track. Preferably away from Rio, if at all possible.”

“Rio?” I blink at him before narrowing my eyes, but I don't want to give anything away. “You… what do you know?”

“After you upset him the first time, he cried for about three hours straight before sneaking out of the house.” Oh no… I didn't mean to upset him. I honestly didn't think much of it when I told him; it didn't seem like a thing he'd get upset over. Now I feel really bad because I caused him a lot of distress when he really didn't need it. “I picked him up the next morning from her house… he told me he had sex with her. By the look on his face, he felt guilty, which means he probably acted on his jealousy from whatever you told him.”

Idiot. That stupid idiot. I mean, I can't be mad at him because I basically implied that I wasn't interested by telling him what I did. Still, he shouldn't have done that. “That was probably after I made out with Touka and…” I trail off because I'm not telling my dad that I got hard when she touched me. “I wasn't thinking when I told him… he's my best friend, so I just… I don't even know what I was thinking.”

“Was that your way of rejecting him?” No! Wait… no, I don't think so… was it? Maybe it inadvertently was. It wasn't hard to tell that he liked me… I mean, he kissed me three times at his house. Of course I knew… even if I denied it, I knew. “Something I should know about?”

Should I really be discussing this with my father? No. Why am I even considering telling him? God, I hate his eyes… the way they stare into my soul, the way they make me do things I don't want to do. Even after all these years, I can't find a way around them and their hold on me. “When… when I was staying with Karma, we may have kissed a few times…” I mutter, averting my eyes slightly. 

His eyes go wide, like he hadn't been expecting to hear that. What was he wanting me to say!? “That explains why he has been so upset over this. You gave him hope and then destroyed it. Good job.” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice that I don't quite like, and he rolls his eyes when I scowl at him. “I cannot believe you. Are you stupid, Gakushuu?” My jaw drops because what the hell did he just say to me!? Me!? Stupid!? He wishes. “You knew how fragile he was,” I open my mouth to speak but he continues yelling at me. “Yet you took his heart and crushed it by doing what you did with Touka…” Again, I try to protest because that wasn't my intention! “Letting yourself get manipulated by some little whore… being someone you’re not.” Well that was a little much… I wasn’t really _manipulated_ by her. “And then telling him about it, as if it would crush what little self-esteem and confidence he has left. All for what!? Just trying to _prove something_ to yourself.” I wasn't trying to prove shit! “How selfish are you!?”

“I'm not selfish!” I finally get some words in! “There was nothing to prove!” I shout back, glaring at him and the now smug look he's giving me. “I'm not gay!”

He smirks, like he just won. “Who said anything about you being gay, son?” Shit. Fuck!! How dare he provoke me into saying that. As usual, I was dumb enough to fall for it. Dammit. “I told you, there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. You can like whoever you want so long as they are worthy of the Asano name.” Clearly he thinks Karma is worthy… I'm not even going to ask why because I don't care what he thinks. “Since that is out of the way, do you have plans to date Karma?” Well now I'm all confused again because I don't know… do I? _Should_ I? “If it is his stepfather you are worried about, you are right to be. Which is another reason you should wait.”

“That guy pisses me off…” I seethe, glaring at the ground. Oh right, guess I should tell him, huh? “Now I can tell you what that was all about… he got mad because we were flirting.” This seems to surprise him as well. “I think he's so homophobic that he just wants Karma to stay single forever… no guys for obvious reasons, and no girls because he could just be thinking of guys to get off.”

Father hums thoughtfully, nodding his head slowly. “That does make sense… but Karma has also said that the man does not want him to leave. Something about the fear of abandonment?”

That also makes sense. “Karma's mom's doing. She left them after cheating a bunch, and Karma was stupid enough to stay behind. Tadaomi grew attached, and now he's trying to avoid losing Karma, too.” Which is stupid because he's not even his real dad… he has no right to treat Karma the way he does. 

When my father sighs, I'm actually surprised because he seems to really care about Karma. Still kind of annoys me, not gonna lie. “Absolutely ridiculous. I do not understand either one of them.” For once, I agree with him… I don't get it either. Why doesn't Karma just leave? He could probably go live with his mom, right? Wait… Karma said he loves him, though. Even after all of this, I don't doubt he still feels the same way. Which is confusing because how can he love that!? Father is not like that man… “You have two years to get close enough to find out.”

That's true, I do… because after graduation, if something doesn't change, I doubt I'll ever be able to see him again. Lover, friend, acquaintance—it doesn't matter—but if I don't find something, Karma will slip right through my fingers. “I will protect him from that man no matter the cost.” Because he would do the same for me… hell, he's done the same for me. 

Nodding, Father exhales deeply, “Good.”

My turn for some questions. “Who is that boy?”

“Shouto Todoroki,” he replies and my eyes widen because what the hell is Karma doing with the son of that asshole!? Not that I'm a fan of MMA, but I do read the news… his interviews are sickening. Treating his son as a tool rather than a person… similar to my father, though my father is only trying to better me, that guy is just living vicariously through his kid and making him do things he very clearly does not want to do. “I was surprised, too. It seems that Shouto has taken to him, and Karma is dead set on protecting him. He stayed here a few nights ago, and when I took him home, I spoke to Enji. Just as self-righteous and pompous as usual.”

“Did you rat Karma out?” He better not have!

The unamused deadpan look I receive is the only answer I need: no, he didn't. “I simply told him I would not say anything about what I had seen if he continued letting Shouto leave the house. That was it.” Why? What good did that do? Before I can ask, he must read my facial expression because he explains. “He reminds me of Mr. Karasuma, with how possessive and protective he is over Shouto… he would do anything to keep him in his custody, even lock him up. Since the man knows that I could, and would, stir up trouble, he decided to listen.”

Wow… to think my father could actually be considerate to other people. Weird. Though… I think it was more for Karma than it was Shouto, given how attached the two of them are. “Smart… though, it seems like a very strange friendship.” A 16 year old and an 11 year old; weird. 

He nods, “I agree, but Shouto needs Karma. He needs someone to look up to aside from his sorry excuse of a father.” Like he's one to talk. Ha! Then again… Father is a pretty good role model, to me anyway. Sure his methods weren't great, but I'm strong and on the path to success thanks to him. “While I am not sure that Karma is the best role model, he seems to be sparking some sort of change in the child.”

Right… Karma is very submissive and accepts his abuse as love. Then again, he said that I didn't deserve it, nor did anyone else. It’s as if he believes that he's the only person who deserves to be treated badly. So maybe he is doing a good job with the kid. I'll have to talk to him about it later, amongst other things. “It should work out…” I don't think Karma is stupid enough to make an innocent child think abuse is okay. This little friendship of theirs should be beneficial to both parties… maybe he'll see himself in Shouto and try to change as well. One can only hope, I suppose. “Is he actually good with him?”

“From what I have seen, yes. Karma is very supportive and understanding with him… quite kind, which does not really surprise me.”

“He really is an open book, isn't he?” I smirk, memories of him being so caring and nurturing playing through my mind. Be it taking care of stray cats, helping wounded animals, once I even saw him helping a little kid look for his teddy bear in the park. How anyone could hurt Karma, I have no idea. 

Father nods, an almost fond look on his face before he gets back to work, dismissing me with a wave of his hand. “You may go.” So I do, nodding and taking my leave. Before I'm gone, he speaks again. “Have fun sleeping on the couch.” 

When I look back at him for some sort of explanation, he's already immersed in his work, no longer paying any attention to me whatsoever. Right, Karma has been sleeping in my bed and Shouto probably won't want to leave his side. Good thing I'm used to sleeping in uncomfortable places… I've been banned from using my bed more times than I can count. Sighing, I retreat back to my room and have a look around… everything is different. Father went through every bit of my room, got rid of anything incriminating, and reorganized all my stuff. How annoying. We both have different systems when it comes to our clothing and books, so I'm going to have to reorganize everything all over again. Oh well, it'll give me something to do while I wait for Karma. 

An hour into it and I've gotten my desk and everything around my floor all sorted out and exactly how I like it, which leaves my clothing. In the closet, I find things that are not mine… please tell me that Father is not trying to buy back my forgiveness. None of these look like something I would wear, what the—oh yeah, Karma has been living here for a couple weeks or whatever. These clothes… I don't get his fashion sense. Whatever, I'll make him come shopping with me and we'll pick out some sensible clothes that _don't_ make him look like a hoodlum. Oh God, what am I saying? It's official: I've lost my mind. First Father is apologizing and we're have some sort of conversation, and then I'm criticizing what Karma wears and acting like his mother. Stress… that's the only logical explanation. I'm stressed out and it's making me act weird. 

I reorganize my clothes around Karma's and then start on my drawers. Which I regret because apparently Karma is keeping his undergarments in here, too. As often as I've seen him undressed, it shouldn't bother me nearly as much, but… it does. Perhaps the mere fact that he's not here so it makes me feel like a creep and now I'm just staring at them and— “Gakushuu…?” I slam the drawer shut, not looking at him. 

“Pervert,” I hear Shouto murmur. That little shit! I turn to yell, but the words die in my throat when I'm met with the exhausted faces of two abused children who can only find hope and comfort in each other. 

Karma sighs, ruffling up Shouto's hair before smiling, “This is his room, Shouto. He's a neat freak, so he's probably trying to put everything in order.” And he defended me… how sweet. Yet, he also kind of insulted me; I'm not a neat freak, I just like things tidy and organized. What's the harm in that? “Do you want us on the couch so you can sleep in your bed, Gakushuu?” Our eyes meet and I can tell he's being genuine… why is this person I was so cruel to being so nice to me? Why would he still like me after all the crap I've put him through?

Before I can say anything, Shouto speaks, “You can have the couch, I can sleep on the floor.”

“Like hell you're sleeping on the floor with that shoulder. One wrong move and you'll be out of commission again.” Karma looks genuinely worried and upset about this… which I get because they're in similar situations. It’s hard not to feel empathetic towards him. 

“You can have my bed, I'll be fine on the couch.” Karma pouts at me. “What?”

“Stay in here… I'll sleep on the floor while you and Shouto share—

“No!” We both say at the same time and Karma tilts his head, confused. Shouto continues, hugging Karma's arm to his chest. “I wanna sleep with Karma…”

How odd… they haven't know each other all that long so why is this child already so attached? Oh, what am I even saying? It's _Karma_ , he inadvertently draws people in without trying… sure he has a haughty attitude a lot of the time and has his whole 'delinquent' thing going on, but people like him. Me included. Because there is just so much more to him than he lets on. As hard as it is to admit, he greatly intrigues me. Just everything about him: I want to know more. I want to know everything there is to know about Karma Akabane. 

Golden eyes meet mine, an almost fearful glint in them; ah, he's still worried. Understandable; we have much to discuss, and some of it won't be pleasant. For now, though, he deserves a break, because he's been through enough tonight. “I'll sleep on the couch.” Despite the finality in my tone, Karma shakes his head in protest. “What do you suggest I do, then?” He points to the floor, right next to the bed. Honestly? Is he really…? Oh… really looking at him, he looks extremely stressed out. Maybe he just wants me in here with him. That's sweet. “Fine. I will go gather some blankets and pillows. If you'll excuse me.” Relief subtly seeps into his expression and I huff in amusement, trying to hold back my smile because it's cute that he wants me in here, too. But this isn't my fault; he was the one ignoring me, not the other way around. If he wouldn't have gotten so mad, he wouldn't have had to miss me so much. 

Once I gather all the needed materials for a bed, I head back into my room to find the two redheads making themselves comfortable in my bed; Shouto's shoulder looks painful… God, that poor kid. Neither one of us really had to deal with that level of abuse at his age; and who knows how long it's been going on… it's so, so wrong. The reasons behind it make me sick. What kind of parent would force their child into something as dangerous and violent as fighting? Especially as a child, one who has _zero interest_ in such things, at that. It’s wrong. While I'm making my bed on the floor, Karma is doting on Shouto. “Wake me up if it starts hurting too badly, okay?” Even though Shouto shows signs of not wanting to do such a thing, he nods anyway. Why do I doubt his honesty? “Gakuhou will be in later on tonight with another ice pack to keep on it.” Gakuhou… wow, it's strange to hear my father's name come from Karma's mouth so familiarly. Just what have they been up to this summer that has brought them so close? No one calls Father by his name… no one. Not even Mama did. Always Dr. Asano… always. Even in bed—the times my mother was able to speak during sex, that is, which wasn't often. Ugh, I hate that I know that. “Alright,” he ruffes up Shouto's hair with a soft smile before tucking them both in. 

With my bed made, I stand up to find Shouto curled up into Karma, who just lays there staring at the ceiling, absentmindedly playing with Shouto's hair. As I undress and change into pajamas, I feel his scrutinizing golden gaze turn to me. Watching my every move; watching the way my arms go down to the hem of my shirt and my back muscles contort as I pull the shirt up and over my head; even as I pull a new one on. Why is he staring at me? Even when I remove my pants, he watches in earnest; unmoving, and barely breathing. Heat creeps to my cheeks when I turn slightly and meet his eyes; he doesn't even bother hiding that he's blatantly staring at me. My heart pounds in my chest during our silent staredown. What is happening? Is there something wrong? Not that I ask. Rather, I hurry to the bathroom to take care of business, and then return about ten minutes later. While Shouto has fallen asleep, Karma is still awake, eyes trained on my own. Shifting slightly, I shut the light off, close my door, and get comfortable in my makeshift bed.

Silence. Just as I'm about to fall asleep, a hand just barely whacks my head, reaching around for something. Confused, I reach up to make him stop, which must've been what he wanted because he grabs it, letting out a contented hum as our fingers intertwine. Thank God it's dark because my face is bright red… he wanted to hold my hand. That was why he wanted me in here; just so he could hold my hand and feel safe. Warmth spreads through my body and I find myself smiling. Karma Akabane really can be absolutely precious when he wants to be. Even if I am still a little upset with him, and he’s probably still upset with me, I like this. For the first time in so long, touch actually feels warm to me. Letting him know this is okay, I squeeze his hand and shift a little closer… this is nice. I've missed him. So much. 

It's good to be back.

**xx**

It was still dark when Gakushuu woke up to something tickling his nose… twitching it a bit, the feeling still didn't go away, so he reached up to scratch it, only to find hair that was not his own. Startling awake and instinctively jolting back, he found Karma in his face; dead asleep. Did he fall off the bed? By the way he was hanging halfway off of it, probably so. Whoops. How the hell did that even happen, and how was he sleeping through it? One of the many mysteries of Karma. Now, if this was anyone else, he would probably leave them… but this was Karma, and Gakushuu would rather him not hurt his back by sleeping in such an awkward position. This left him with two options: push him back up or pull him down? Shouto probably wouldn't like waking up alone, but… how was that Gakushuu's problem? Careful not to wake anyone, he scooted around Karma and delicately grabbed his lower half, gently laying him down the rest of the way on the floor; almost immediately he curled up, trying to get comfortable. Just as Gakushuu went to retract, a small hand grabbed his shoulder and it took all he had not to scream because that scared the hell out of him!

“Whatcha doin'?” Shouto mumbled groggily, narrowing his eyes at the person who had just stolen his snuggle bunny, grip tight on his shoulder. 

Crap. How was Gakushuu supposed to explain this? Saying he preferred to sleep next to Karma would sound weird. “Karma fell off the bed. I was just—”

“Karma is sad… really, really sad. And I know you're sad, too,” he patted Gakushuu's shoulder carefully before his expression grew darker, voice colder. “But… just 'cause you were here first doesn't mean shit. Karma is my best friend and I'll be damned if you're going to take him away from me.” His small fingers slid up Gakushuu's neck and to his chin, pulling the older male up into his face; they were really close now. Too close for comfort. What was Gakushuu supposed to do here? It wasn't like he could hit the kid. What was with this sudden mood shift? Moonlight shined on the two of them, allowing Gakushuu to see Shouto's pretty blue and grey eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “Karma is my only friend. You can't take him away from me,” his tone had a venomous bite to it that sent shivers down Gakushuu's spine. It was then that Gakushuu knew that Shouto was completely serious; it looked like he wanted to bite his head off. “I won’t let you…!”

Because Gakushuu couldn't hit a child, or talk down to this one in particular since he would run right to Karma, he bit his tongue and nodded. “I wasn't planning on taking him away from you, Shouto.”

A small smile appeared on his face. “Good.” And then he released Gakushuu, who almost immediately crawled back to his spot on the floor, curling up with Karma and grabbing his hand. That was awkward; he couldn't believe he was pretty much just threatened by a damn child. Deciding to forget it for now, he closed his eyes; sleep didn't even try to find him at all… his mind felt too wired and awake. How annoying. It'd been like fifteen minutes, and he was just as restless as before. Sighing, he just stared at Karma's face, illuminated by the pale moonlight coming in through the window. All he could think was, _Pretty…_ How could a male be so pretty? Honestly, he looked similar to his mom… other than the hair and eye color, Gakushuu thought that they actually looked quite a bit alike: big bright eyes, pretty lips, porcelain-like pale skin, almost doll-like features. They were just… very pretty people. Sure Karma was muscular, but… he had such a graceful build. Not too sharp or too soft; just right. 

Taking a leap of faith, Gakushuu reached out and touched him, caressing Karma's cheek with his thumb… and then moving along his jaw, and finally up to his soft, slightly chapped lips. His eyes shot wide open when Gakushuu's thumb just barely pressed in between them and Gakushuu snatched his hand away from Karma's mouth, nearly jumping backwards, but found himself frozen in place. Those bright golden hues were staring into his violet ones intently; like a deer caught in headlights, Gakushuu felt paralyzed where he lied… as if in a trance. Karma readjusted their hands, lips parted slightly before he licked them and spoke. “I missed you,” he whispered.

 _You also ignored me…_ but he didn't say that. “I missed you, too.”

“I'm sorry for, y'know…” he mumbled, averting his eyes. Even though it was far from okay, Gakushuu nodded at him… they'd discuss this in the morning when they could be alone. “I understand if you don't wanna be friends anymore.”

What made him come to that conclusion? If Gakushuu hadn't wanted to be his friend, he wouldn't have been so pleasant to him that night. They'd have discussed things earlier, at that park, and Gakushuu would have blown up at him… but no, they were going to talk things out like adults in the morning and go from there. “You're my best and only friend. Why would I give you up so easily?” How could he give up something so precious? This friendship was good for Gakushuu… now he didn't have to face the world all alone. Finally, he had a partner in crime; someone who understood and liked him for who he was. It was nice. When he smiled, Gakushuu's heart started beating a little harder than normal… such a genuine, gentle smile for a delinquent. You know, Gakushuu was starting to think his friend wasn't such a rebel, or whatever he liked to call himself, after all. Maybe he just used it as an excuse for anyone who saw his scars… it'd make sense. 

“I’m still upset with you,” he breathed out softly. “But I am really, really glad you’re back.” 

Gakushuu hummed softly, “Me too. But we can talk later.” And he was upset, he didn’t like that Karma had ignored him and acted so petty about everything, but he also understood that he hadn’t made it easy on Karma, and that he’d handled the situation poorly as well. Even if it was unintentional, he’d hurt Karma a lot by pretty much dismissing his feelings and acting like there was nothing between them. Especially by telling him about Touka. But they would talk that all out in the morning. 

After Karma nodded, they both fell silent for a few moments, just staring into each other’s eyes. His face inched closer to Gakushuu's: he could smell the minty toothpaste on Karma's breath; feel Karma's breath on his lips; feel the clamminess of Karma's palm in his own; see the curious, yet intense glint in Karma's wide golden eyes. “Can I… can I kiss you?” Without thinking, Gakushuu nodded. _Is this really okay? Do I really like Karma?_ This seemed like a good a way as any to find out. Their lips met and it felt like Gakushuu had come alive; his body felt so warm and tingly. Wow, Gakushuu nearly moaned, this felt so much better than Touka… put her to shame, to be perfectly honest. She was _nothing_ compared to Karma. 

Well, he couldn't deny it any longer… he liked Karma more than a friend. _Way_ more than a friend. 

Now that Gakushuu knew how this worked, he took charge, reaching up and cupping Karma's cheek as he slowly parted his lips. Karma's free hand moved to Gakushuu a waist, pulling their bodies flush together… Karma was hard. Like really hard. So was Gakushuu, but this felt familiar almost… not that he had the mind to think into it at that moment. Not important. Nothing was more important than right then, because this was amazing. Bold as always, Karma was the first to poke his tongue out, running it over Gakushuu's bottom lip before gently pushing past his lips to swirl it around his own. Karma moaned into his mouth when Gakushuu bit his lower lip, making the latter male smirk. How adorable. Wanting to draw out more moans from Karma, Gakushuu wrapped his free arm around his waist, dipping his hand into his pajama pants before grabbing his ass… if the sharp intake of breath and small whimper was anything to go by, Karma really liked that. Making out with him was so much better when Karma was sober and knew what was happening. 

Wanting more, Karma hooked a leg over Gakushuu’s waist and started kissing him harder; wanting to taste every bit of him. God, he’d wanted this for so fucking long…! Now that he had it, he didn’t think he could live without it. This was like nothing he’d ever felt before. With Gakushuu, all the feelings were far more intense; it felt so right. Heat built up inside him and his heart was pounding in his chest. It was perfect. Way better than any other kiss he’d had. He ran his fingers through Gakushuu’s soft orange hair and tugged slightly, pulling a moan out of him; so he liked having his hair pulled, good to know. Not one to be outdone, Gakushuu grinded his hips up just right, their throbbing erections rubbing up against each other that had both of them moaning softly. 

Just as Karma moved his hand to the front of Gakushuu's pants, gently brushing his fingers over the warm erection through the soft material of his pajamas, Shouto started crying. Of fucking course! Gakushuu wanted to scream. Because Karma left him just like that to check on Shouto, leaving the male blue balled and annoyed. Looking up at them, he saw Shouto peering at him over Karma's shoulder, eyes narrowed and a smug smirk on his lips as he allowed Karma to dote on him and make sure everything was okay. It took every ounce of strength for him to not throw a pillow at that dumb little face. Instead, he laid down and focused on his breathing, patiently waiting for Karma to return. Even though Shouto had pleaded for him to stay, Karma snuck back down once he was asleep; he wanted to be by him. When Gakushuu hit him in the stomach, he laughed breathlessly; yeah, he probably deserved that. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s not okay, you asshole.” Tempted as he was to say that Shouto had done it on purpose, he knew there was no point. Even if he did, Karma would probably just get mad at Gakushuu for being jealous of an eleven year old or something. As much as he wanted to tell Karma to finish the job, he could tell Karma wasn’t about to continue. Exhaustion was setting back in. 

“So… I’m less mad at you now.” Gakushuu huffed in amusement, rolling his eyes at Karma’s ridiculousness. “But uh, what uh… what does this mean? I’m not really ready for a relationship or anything…” 

Nodding, Gakushuu cupped his cheek. “We don’t have to be anything public, or even official. I’m just happy being your best friend.”

They were so close that Gakushuu could almost feel the heat radiating off of Karma’s cheeks. But he was smiling, which was a good sign. “Then… best friends who kiss sometimes?”

“Works for me,” he smirked, leaning in to kiss Karma again, who accepted graciously.

It ended all too soon, though, as Karma was sleepy and didn’t want to get all worked up again. “We can continue this later, though, okay?” Disappointed, but understanding, Gakushuu nodded and grabbed Karma's hand once more. Smiling, Karma nuzzled into him, entangling their legs and closing his eyes. He finally felt safe again. At ease. Gakushuu held him close, a fond smile on his face… so maybe he did like Karma. And if his father said he wasn't against homosexuality, then Gakushuu felt like he shouldn't be embarrassed by it, either. After all, the only person he had to prove himself to was that man, and if he was okay with Karma, so be it. 

Gakushuu would do everything in his power to protect Karma from that point forward. First as a friend, and eventually as a lover. When the time was right. For now, best friends who kissed sometimes was okay with him. 

Man, it really was good to be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaay. There’s still a lot more for them to work out but at least they’re kind of on the same page.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I really appreciate it.


	37. Scars and Sketchbooks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma is insecure and Gakushuu lets himself be vulnerable. Breakfast is a wild ride. After a heart to heart with Shouto, things only get wilder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It’s been over a month, damn. I’ve been having some troubles lately. I don’t even know why. It’s stupid. I’m sorry.
> 
> This is probably riddled with mistakes; I couldn’t really focus on editing. Couldn’t think of a good summary or chapter title. Hope you like it nonetheless.

Karma woke up with a foot in his face and an erection pressed up against his own. That was a hell of a way to wake up. Cracking his eyes open, he glanced around to find that either Shouto had fallen off of the bed or decided to join him half consciously since he was in a very awkward position on top of him, and Gakushuu was pressed up against him, face close to his own. There were two pillows, but Gakushuu had abandoned his own and was using Karma's instead, most likely so he could stay close to him. Best thing, their fingers were still laced together. 

With a soft sigh, he untangled himself from both people and got up to go pee and brush his teeth. Ugh, the floor hurt his back. It was worth it, though… last night was definitely worth it. He'd fucking kissed Gakushuu Asano and unlike when they'd done it the first couple of times, he kept reciprocating and even touched him, not only that, but Gakushuu had done it all on his own. Talk about a dream come true. He could almost still feel the soft lips on his own, those warm hands on his body… last night was amazing. But there were still issues they had to sort out, and Karma wasn't exactly allowed to date, nor did he really want to date quite yet… for now he was fine with what they were. When he returned to the room, he nearly snorted at the scene he'd stumbled upon: Shouto had snuggled up with Gakushuu, who was now awake and looking uncharacteristically panicked to be cuddled by a child. How cute. 

_Help me!_ Gakushuu mouthed to him almost angrily and Karma simply smirked, letting him suffer for a minute more before gently pulling Shouto off and putting him back in the bed, tucking him in with a fond smile on his face. While Karma combed through Shouto's red hair, Gakushuu stretched out and retreated to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Karma just stared at Shouto, smirking slightly because the little brat definitely did that on purpose to rattle Gakushuu. Because Karma was Karma, he thought it was hilarious and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “Good one.”

Shouto couldn't help the smirk that crept up to his lips. The way Gakushuu reacted was pretty funny; definitely unexpected. Being thrown off was the expected response, but nope, Gakushuu just kind of accepted it even though he didn't want it. “He was so freaked out,” he murmured, not opening his eyes. “You're warmer than he is.” Not just physically, but emotionally… Shouto just felt right with Karma, while there was something cold about Gakushuu. Something scary. Whatever it was, it made him wary to trust him, especially with his best friend. 

Not knowing how to respond to that, Karma smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Shouto's head. “Go back to sleep, Shou.” The child didn't argue, as he'd been drifting in and out of consciousness ever since he'd cuddled Gakushuu; it really had been an honest mistake, but when he realized that the body he was holding didn't belong to Karma, he had an overwhelming need to rile him up after what he'd done to Karma last night. Waking him up with their icky things; talk about rude!

Once Shouto's breathing had evened out, Karma got to his feet and stretched out his limbs before plopping down on the floor to check his phone. There was a message… from Touka? He'd gotten her number from Rio when he was trying to figure out the picture messages, but he still wasn't sure how she got his? Probably from Gakushuu's phone, she must have distracted him or something because he would never just hand over his cellphone to someone he barely knew.

**Stupid Bitch**  
Have fun with Shuuie;) Do remember, I had him first~

**Karma**  
lol you think? Honey, I made out with him before he even went to camp. In the end, he chose me. Deal with it. 

**Stupid Bitch**  
Lik hell u did. Shuuie complained abt u so much. Pities u, prbly. Poor lil Karma all alone with no friends except a couple of losers nd Rio. Heard u fucked her btw, if she wasnt my friend I wud tell evry1

**Karma**  
I did. But unlike you, I don't take pics like some sort of fucking creep. I'm sure he did, not even lying. I don't care. Gakushuu Asano doesn't know how to pity. My friends aren't losers, thank you. And Rio… shut the fuck up. It's not your business. 

**Stupid Bitch**  
Howd u lik those btw? Obvi cudnt send u all of em. Nd I cudnt tak pics of evrythng cus tht wud b illegal. Ill leave it to ur imagination;) u shuda heard all the shit he talked on u. Tru… maybe he's jus usin u. Whteva. She's my bff so it kinda is

**Karma**  
Fuck you. Don't text me again. 

**Stupid Bitch**  
Aww, did I strike a nerve? ;)

Tears stung his eyes as he paced back and forth, biting on his thumb nail anxiously… he'd forgotten to even consider that. Of course she wouldn't send everything they'd done. Did he really…? No, he wouldn't have…? Ugh! Gakushuu walked in the room and Karma couldn't help but glare at him before walking out, shoving his phone into Gakushuu's hands so there was no question as to what he was upset over. Now he felt wired and jumpy; energized with no means to let any of it out. God, he couldn't believe this. Why did she have to ruin everything? Things were okay for the first time in weeks, and now it felt like everything was falling apart again. Pacing around the living room wasn't helping; his hands were shaking and his body felt tense. Pent up with what was either anger or anxiety—perhaps both—and driving him crazy. Right now he needed to do something; needed to find something to do with his hands to take his mind off of this bullshit. When nothing else came to mind, he went to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Now he was mad all over again; his head was filled with the images his own head had concocted to torment him. Idiot. He was such an idiot. 

As he was—rather aggressively—scrambling some eggs, an ice cold presence popped up behind him and smacked his arm. “She's lying. I didn't touch her like that. We didn't have any type of sex.”

Pouting at the stinging sensation on his arm, Karma scowled at him, but stayed silent. So Gakushuu went on, explaining everything they had done… and how he might have been subconsciously thinking of Karma the whole time. If he hadn't been so embarrassed to admit it, he probably would have enjoyed how red Karma's face was a little more than he did. Then he completely came out, having felt he owed Karma that much. “I've come to discover that I don't think I like females.” He kept his voice steady, but low in case anyone was listening in on them, making eye contact with the eggs Karma was scrambling. “I uh… she called me to her room one evening to help with her work, and I walked in on her uh, matsurbating,” he uncharacteristically squeaked that last part out. But Karma didn't even notice it; rather, his jaw dropped because she fucking did what!? “I passed out… like, as soon as it processed, I started hyperventilating and then fainted.” Even though Karma wanted to laugh, he couldn't; no words would form, and the only verbal form of communication he managed was a choking sound. “Not just because of my, uh, slight phobia… but also because it just… it did nothing for me but gross me out. Which obviously meant that… y'know.” Karma just stared at him, speechless; what was he supposed to say to that? It was a bit much to process so early and after being so worked up. 

The silence was too tense, so Gakushuu just blurted it out. “I think I'm gay…!” It almost looked like he was scared—ashamed—to be admitting this… his hands were balled into fists, and tears filled his eyes. This was harder than he thought it would be. Really saying it out loud, he felt right; it was freeing to finally tell someone and let it out, but he also felt so ashamed, like it was wrong, like he wasn't supposed to like boys. Society said it wasn't normal, and Gakushuu strived for perfection. How could he be perfect if he liked boys? For pretty much his entire life, he'd been denying himself of feelings for pretty much everyone… he was far too focused on his studying and living up to his father's expectations, mostly because he had to be, but also to repress those odd feelings he would sometimes get if he saw certain guys, like actors or just random people he'd seen around town. It'd never really registered as attraction, as he'd never really been taught anything in regards to that, but looking back it more than likely was. Karma was the first person he really looked at on eye level aside from his father, who he obviously harbored no attraction towards. But Karma was different; Karma made him feel things he hadn't felt before, Karma made him think about things he normally didn't, Karma understood him. Karma turned his world upside down and changed everything… and it wasn't unwelcome. 

Neither of them said anything for quite sometime, and Gakushuu was starting to worry because why the hell wasn't Karma saying anything!? This was incredibly overwhelming and stressful and Karma needed to fucking do or say _something_ before he broke down! After what seemed like an eternity, Karma finally let out an exasperated sigh as he sprinkled pepper onto the perfectly scrambled eggs. “Honestly, Gakushuu…” He put the bowl down on the counter and wrapped his arms around his best friend, one hand on the back of his head, fingers entangled in his soft orange hair, and the other fisted in his shirt. “I'm sorry that happened… and I'm sorry for getting upset.”

Surprisingly enough, Gakushuu hugged him back tightly, burying his face into Karma's neck and trying not to cry, but failing; tears fell from his eyes, soaking into Karma's shirt. Startled by the sudden display of raw emotion and vulnerability, Karma felt his throat go dry; his heart cried out for his best friend. As Gakushuu tried to hold back his sobs, Karma rubbed his back soothingly. “Shuu, it's okay. It's gonna be okay, I promise.” God, if Gakushuu didn't stop crying, Karma was going to start it up as well, and no one wanted that. “You don't have to be ashamed of your sexuality, okay? There is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with liking boys. I'll accept you as you are, no matter what.”

Of course he would… Karma was just that kind of person. Even if he'd explained that he was straight, he knew Karma would have been okay. “I know… I know, but it's just… a lot, y'know?” He laughed a little—almost helplessly—holding his best friend tighter, seeking the warmth and comfort he hadn't had in so, so long. 

Karma did know… he was pretty sure he was gay, but then there was Rio. It was still confusing, but he wasn't really a fan of labels, so it didn't really matter too much to him. He was Karma Akabane, and that was that. They stayed like that for a while, lost in each other until Karma's stomach growled, making Gakushuu snort. But Karma couldn't find it in himself to be offended, so he simply smiled as he gave his best friend one last squeeze, “I'm here for you, Gakushuu. I always will be.”

“I know,” Gakushuu pulled away with a genuine smile, eyes red and slightly puffy, kissing Karma's cheek whilst swiping his eggs. “Thanks for breakfast,” he winked. 

Smirking, Karma shrugged, “You act like those weren't for you in the first place~” They were… Karma made them just the way Gakushuu liked them, even added cheese despite Karma's distaste for cheese on eggs. Plain was more his thing, sensitive stomach and all. If he hadn't been paying attention, he would have missed the light blush adorning Gakushuu's face. “Cute~” He whispered to himself before getting to work on his own breakfast. 

Wow… he really was in deep, wasn't he?

xx

Breakfast was certainly an experience, to say the least. While Karma was making breakfast for himself, the other current occupants of the house had gathered around the table, so he gave Shouto what was supposed to be for himself, and then began fixing Gakuhou what he liked. The man had greeted his son with a—probably forced—smile, taking his seat right next to him since Shouto probably wanted to sit next to Karma. Not surprisingly, Gakushuu grunted in response and moved to the other side of the table next to Shouto, who looked a little shocked to be perfectly honest; if he'd shown such blatant disrespect to his father, he probably would have had a chair thrown at his face or the table full of food and glass flipped on top of him, or something equally as terrifying. If looks could kill, Gakuhou's would have… but he did nothing about it. Rather, he turned his attention to Karma, much to Gakushuu's annoyance because Karma was not to interact with his father so familiarly. Yet there he was, acting all chummy with the man who abused him for the majority of his young life. 

Beside him, Shouto patted his thigh almost sympathetically, giving him a small smile. How was he supposed to react to that? An _eleven year old_ was trying to _comfort_ him. Had he hit rock bottom? This was humiliating. The two of them ate in comfortable silence while his dad and his best friend chatted it up like they'd been friends for decades. This was insane. Being jealous was so annoying, and he didn't even know why he was jealous considering he'd clearly just rebuffed any sort of affection from the man. Maybe just the fact that Karma was being so nice to the man who hurt him made it so irritating… or perhaps he was he jealous of his dad, instead? Was he jealous that the man could speak so openly and act so kind to his best friend whereas Gakushuu was still hesitant and embarrassed? 

With a kind smile on his face, Karma set Gakuhou's way too big breakfast in front of him, grinning from ear to ear when the man thanked him and genuinely smiled at him. Gakushuu stabbed into his eggs and stuffed his mouth angrily. No, he was not sulking…! These were just really good eggs. He wasn't jealous that his best friend was treating his dad so kindly, nor that his father was doing the same thing in return. Nope. Not jealous or annoyed in the slightest. Karma returned to the table once his own breakfast was finished, sitting next to Gakuhou and in front of Gakushuu; it felt weird, but also okay. When Gakuhou ruffled up his red hair and complimented his cooking, his son wanted to gag at the light blush on Karma's cheeks. What happened to them while he was gone? It was like they were two different people. So strange. 

Sighing, Gakushuu half heartedly listened to what Shouto was talking about with the two people across from them; something about his shoulder? Gakushuu didn't know, or really care all that much. It was wrong, he knew what Shouto had to live with was wrong, but things would work out for him… with Karma on his side, that was a given. Every time his father attempted to make conversation, Gakushuu ignored him like the petty snob he was, and even though Karma was clearly trying to help by including him, Gakushuu refused. His father didn't get to act like an actual father after everything he'd done… that wasn't fair and Gakushuu wanted no part. Not that Karma didn't understand that, he just wished he'd at least give it a shot. Hopefully he'd come around in the future… 

It was kind of funny, though, to see Gakushuu act like such a child when he was usually so mature and polite, even when he didn't want to be; being in a home setting rather than a school setting was a lot more interesting, that was for sure. Clearly Gakushuu felt more comfortable in his home, probably since they had two extra guests; if the two Asano's were alone, Karma didn't doubt that Gakushuu would have holed himself up in his room or flat out went back to Karma's house so he wouldn't have to constantly fear when the extremely tight wire in his dad finally snapped and he lost it again. But Gakuhou was trying, he was genuinely trying… and even though Gakushuu couldn't quite see or understand it yet, Karma was going to be sure to help both Asano's the best he could. 

Once breakfast was finished, Karma gathered all the dishes and took them to the sink so he could wash them, earning an incredulous look from Gakushuu. “Karma, we do own a dishwasher, you know?”

But the redhead shrugged it off, continuing the task at hand, soaping up the sponge and getting to work. “It's fine, Gakushuu.” No, it wasn't fine… this was Gakushuu's house, so why was Karma doing literally _anything_ involving cooking or cleaning? It wasn't fair to him; he was forced to do enough at his own home, so why…!? “And before you blame your dad, he gets onto me for it, too. I don't care. Washing the dishes gives me something to do.” It calmed his nerves and jitters to an extent, which were quite high at the moment given how this morning started, and also knowing that a serious discussion was to be had later on once Shouto was gone. Karma was scared… he didn't want Gakushuu to be mad at him or anything like that. When the people he cared about were mad at him, that usually meant pain: physical and/or emotional. While he was pretty sure Gakushuu wouldn't physically attempt to maim him, the thought of an emotional beat down made his stomach churn. 

“I have learned to just let him do as he pleases. As you already know, Karma is extremely stubborn.”

Well, Gakushuu couldn't disagree with that! But he didn't give his father the satisfaction of responding. Just as he opened his mouth, someone cut him off. “Do you want me to dry the dishes?”

“Shou, your shoulder is dislocated,” Karma deadpanned, earning a confused look from the eleven year old who just wanted to help. “No, you cannot dry the dishes,” he clarified dryly, smirking slightly when the child pouted at him. Way too cute for his own good, that's what Shouto was. “If you're bored, why don't you show Gakushuu some of your sketches.” Blue and grey eyes lit up at the mention of his sketches, hopping up and all but sprinting upstairs to fetch his sketchbook. He left it with Karma so his dad wouldn't find it and burn it like he did with everything else Shouto wasn't supposed to have. Smiling, Karma glanced over at his friend with a slightly playful warning glare, “Play nice.”

While Gakushuu scoffed in obvious offense, his father chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement. Having Karma around was actually a good thing; he was quite humorous in this relaxed setting. “I will be in my office if either of you need me.” With that, he took his leave, not noticing—or perhaps choosing to ignore—the dirty look he received from his son. Karma couldn’t help but snort when Gakushuu flipped off his dad once his back was turned. 

Shouto was back in about a minute, bouncing towards Gakushuu with a smile on his face. Not having to be in his own home always got him excited; he liked being around Karma because he made him happy and brought out his inner child. With him, he didn't have to hide his emotions or be afraid or anything like that; instead, he felt warm and giddy. Free. With Karma, emotions weren’t weakness. Shouto didn't have to put on this aloof, cold act to protect himself from getting hurt; and he didn’t have to be as scared since they were technically allowed to be friends. It was a nice change, being able to act like a normal kid and having someone to rely on. 

From the sink, Karma kept an eye on the two of them, smiling to himself when Gakushuu actually engaged in conversation with Shouto; sometimes complimenting one of the drawings or asking what inspired him… he knew Gakushuu was a good guy, and if he ever had kids, Karma didn't doubt he'd be a good father. Perhaps a little demanding and expectant, but still a good parent; both physically and emotionally present. It was really nice to see and hear them interact with each other so nicely… especially since he was pretty sure they would hate each other. The little cuddle session that morning must've helped, he joked to himself, smile growing on his face. 

By the time he was finished and joined the two of them at the table, he could tell Shouto was actually kind of anxious… but excited nonetheless because he liked being able to show people the things he was passionate about. Not so they would shower him with praise or affection, but because he just thought art was meant to be shared—with anyone except his dad. Gakushuu was intently studying one of the sketches Shouto had drawn of himself, looking in the mirror while covering the scar on his left eye with both of his hands, pulling at his hair and clawing the side of his face as he cried; words at the top that said, 'am i perfect now?' in pretty, precise cursive letters. As though each letter was written with the utmost care and an immense amount of thought behind each stroke of the pen. “Scars don't make you less than perfect, Shouto.”

Almost taken aback to be getting that from Gakushuu, he blinked a few times before nodding, red creeping up to his cheeks… he didn't know, though. Gakushuu had no idea how imperfect that scar made him—how ugly it made him. “This one does,” he mumbled, averting his eyes. When Karma came up beside him and hugged him, Shouto pulled him down onto the chair and settled into his lap, cuddling into his warmth and closing his eyes; he breathed in Karma's relaxing scent for a moment more before explaining it to Gakushuu. “Mama said I was unsightly before she did this… said I was too much like him. I didn't mean to be, though…” Gakushuu's eyes went wide with a mix of anger and concern; his _Mama_ did that to him!? 

Sighing, Karma held Shouto close to his chest and ran his fingers through his soft red hair, “You aren't anything like him. Your mom was in a bad place.”

“That's no excuse,” Gakushuu muttered angrily. This little boy seemed like the sweetest little thing, and seeing him so hurt and so sad tugged on Gakushuu's heartstrings. Even when Karma gave him a look, he didn't back down; he didn't care what the situation was, there was no excuse for burning your child to such an extent, especially on his face. “I don't care what happened, there is absolutely no excuse.”

Heterochromatic eyes stared at him in shock; so maybe he did speak out of turn, but it upset him to see these two innocent children justifying any sort of abuse. “Dad hurt her until she went crazy… she saw nothing but him when she looked at me…” He explained the boiling water incident and the moments before, and Gakushuu felt sick. Now _that_ was painful… and he was seven!? That poor little boy. “Now she's in a hospital and it's all my fault.”

“No it's not,” both older boys protested at the same time, Gakushuu continued with a scowl. “You cannot blame yourself for something like that, not even a little. That is all on her and your father.” By the slightly upset look Shouto was giving him, Gakushuu knew he probably didn't put any of the blame on his mother, which was wrong. “If she was any sort of mother, she would have told someone sooner or left with you and your siblings before it got that bad, especially if any harm was coming to her children. And goddammit, she never would have even _thought_ about leaving you behind.” Yes, he knew he was taking this a bit too personal since it was somewhat similar to his own situation, while also way worse than his situation. But he was angry; at his mom, at himself, at Shouto's mom. This was not an easy situation and he hated that Shouto was blaming himself. “Do not misunderstand, your father is an awful man and I'm sure most of it is his fault, but if she really needed to, she could have gotten you out of there somehow, especially if she was feeling those awful things towards one of her children… good mothers _always_ put their children first.” 

Now Karma knew Gakushuu was speaking more from his own experience, which wasn't technically all that different, but he could tell Shouto was really starting to get upset. “Maybe we should—”

Shouto cut him off, slamming his hand on the table and glaring. “Stop talking like you know my family… you don't know anything about my mama!”

Upsetting the kid wasn't his intention, but the truth hurt and he was going to get it; Gakushuu didn't lie for the comfort of others. Sugarcoating things wouldn't help anyone. Not letting the outburst affect him, he merely crossed one leg over the other and clasped his hands together, face void of emotion; unreadable. “From what you've said, she reminds me much of my own mother. Aside from the fact that she never harmed me, a lot of our situation is the same. My mother did everything she could to protect me from my father until she couldn't handle it anymore. So she… essentially she ran away from her problems and left me behind to pick up the pieces when I was about eleven.”

Oh… Shouto kind of felt bad for getting upset now, because it seemed Gakushuu did actually know a lot of what he was going through. He _lived_ it. And then she just ran away without him… just like his mama was gonna do to him. “I…” he blinked, unsure of what to say. Clearly Gakushuu wasn't all that upset, but he was definitely a bit irritated by Shouto's previous outburst; not to say that it was entirely uncalled for, but still, Shouto knew he should have handled it better and not let his emotions get the best of him. “I apologize… I didn't know.”

But Gakushuu shrugged it off, completely unbothered by that part of his life. His mama was gone and that was that, end of story. “Do not worry about it.” Karma was staring at him still, clearly a bit bothered by this talk; he was in a similar situation as well, so Gakushuu wasn't really surprised. Though, out of the three of them, Karma actually could have escaped with his mother, he just chose not to because he was practically brainwashed into staying. “So—”

“Why didn't you go with your mama?” Shouto questioned quietly and Karma's eyes went wide because he had no idea if Gakushuu would handle that sort of prying well. 

This time Karma tried to butt in and quickly change the subject, but Gakushuu held up a hand to stop him before he could. Unaffected by the question, he shook his head, “I apologize for being vague, it was merely to spare you the gory details.” Shouto blinked at him, blue and grey eyes shining with curiosity and confusion. “By run away, I meant she committed suicide.” There was something dark in his eyes as he spoke just these few words, but he didn't divulge anymore information and left it at that with a strong sense of finality in his tone that neither Karma nor Shouto wanted to go against. But when he’d said that, Shouto had felt his heart stop; no wonder Gakushuu was so upset. “Anyway, as I was saying: it is not your fault, and you are far from unsightly. Sure, the scar isn't exactly pleasant, knowing what happened and the weight it carries, but as with Karma and me, it is proof that you went through Hell and survived. Which is quite commendable, if I do say so myself.”

For some reason, Shouto wanted to cry… he didn't really know why, but hearing someone who barely even knew him say these things, it felt good. Just like when Karma was nice to him. But he stayed strong, mostly thanks to Karma's arms wrapped around him, making him feel safe and warm. “Oh, uh… I uh, thank you.”

Gakushuu smiled that charming smile of his and handed Shouto back his sketchbook. “You're welcome. Thank you for allowing me to look at your sketchbook, you are quite talented.”

“I'm glad you think so… Karma helped me a lot,” Shouto beamed, putting his free arm over the ones still wrapped around him. Since he didn't know some things when it came to drawing, Karma taught him some techniques and even offered to teach him how to paint with watercolors since he seemed really into that. “He's so amazing. You should see the pictures he draws of yo—” Karma put his hand over Shouto's mouth on complete reflex, knowing exactly what he was about to say. The confused noise Shouto made was adorable, but Karma did not remove his hand. 

Violet eyes studied his own, and then looked to Shouto, who still looked confused and a little upset to have his mouth covered like that. From the embarrassment on Karma's face, and what Shouto had gotten out before his mouth was so rudely covered, he already knew, too. “You draw me?” Gakushuu asked, trying to hide his own embarrassed flattery behind amusement. When Karma groaned and freed Shouto's mouth, Gakushuu smirked. “Can I see?”

Immediately, Karma shook his head, face red as his hair all the way up to the tips of his ears. “No. No, you cannot see.” Then he sat Shouto to the side and rushed upstairs to hide his shame and embarrassment. That was not something he wanted Gakushuu knowing… it was creepy, and now he probably thought he was a freak or something. Because who would do that? Who would just randomly draw pictures of their best friend…? Especially shirtless. And a few naked. But he couldn't help it! His hand drew what it wanted! Sighing, he put a pillow over his head and waited for darkness to consume him. 

Downstairs, Shouto was frowning, looking unsure as to why Karma had been upset. Gakushuu couldn't blame either one of them, as Shouto didn't seem socially well versed and Karma probably didn't want Gakushuu to know about any pictures drawn of him. Why? He wasn't sure exactly… was it so bad to draw him? Not to toot his own horn, but who wouldn't want to draw such a magnificent specimen? Sure he had scars, but even Karma had previously said he was hot and could get literally anyone he wanted. When he noticed the tears in Shouto's eyes, free hand clenched into a fist and shaking a bit, Gakushuu quickly kneeled down in front of him and smiled, petting his soft red hair. Comforting people wasn't really his thing, but he really felt for the kid; he had enough going on already. “It's okay. He's probably just a little embarrassed.”

“But I… I don't know what I did. He _does_ draw you, and me, and cats, and characters from TV. He draws lots of things… but not birds! Fuck birds, he says.” Curious. Did Karma not like birds? Why? “Why was he all red and upset?”

Smirking a little, Gakushuu told him the truth. “He was embarrassed, Shouto. He didn't want me to know that he draws me.”

“But why!?” Shouto pouted, furrowing his eyebrows, still not getting it. “They're so good!”

“Knowing him, he probably thinks that I think he's a creep for drawing me without telling me.” Before Shouto could ask why, Gakushuu spoke again. “If I had to guess, I'd say because he has a crush on me, and/or drawing a very private thing for him.” Shouto's face dropped at this, realization flooding his features… he hadn't really thought about it like that. After all, he'd never had a crush on anyone, so he didn't really know what feelings like that entailed. “Understand now?” Gakushuu asked as he got back to his feet. 

The boy nodded, fidgeting with his fingers before looking up at him, “He's mad at me…”

“No, he's just embarrassed. He knows that you didn't know any better.” Shouto stayed silent, not sure what to do now that Karma wasn't around… being around Gakushuu alone made him more uncomfortable than anything else. Sure he cheered him up and made him rethink some things, but he still felt the safest with Karma. “How about you draw him a picture to apologize?” Shouto seemed to perk up at this, nodding and immediately getting to work, pulling the pencil out of the spirals and mapping it out. “I'll leave you to it, then.”

Before he could make it to the stairs, Shouto looked back at him with a smug smirk. “No kissing him like last night.” 

Lip twitching up into an almost snarl, Gakushuu growled out a, “Shut up!” before storming upstairs, trying to block out Shouto's giggles. Once in his room, he found Karma face down on the bed with his head under a pillow and he smirked. “Careful, you may suffocate.” Karma tensed, but it unfortunately didn't rile him up like it did in the past; he simply continued to lay there in silence. “Karma, I'm not mad. If anything, I'm flattered you were thinking about me so often. Maybe also a little relieved that I wasn't the only one whose thoughts were mainly focused on their best friend.” This got something out of him, Karma lifted the pillow a smidge, golden eyes scanning over his face as if to determine his honesty. “I'm serious,” he smiled as he sat down next to him, gently prying the pillow off of his head and putting it to the side; Karma just gave him an anxious look, chewing his bottom lip. “Whatever you're thinking that I'm thinking is probably wrong.”

Seeking comfort, Karma sought out his pillow and hugged it to his chest. “You think I'm a creep…”

“I don't. It's flattering, really. Can I see them?” Karma shook his head and buried his face into the pillow, groaning. “But why? I'm sure they're wonderful.” Not that he could say for sure since Karma never really showed him any of his artwork or anything… he'd seen some things, but they were mostly paintings of the sky. His sketchbooks were usually hidden, as drawing was a medium that was more private to him… more personal. 

Peeking out from the pillow, Karma gave him a look before sighing. “Only 'cause they're of you.” Seeing Gakushuu's face go red and watching him open and close his mouth like some sort of fish brightened his mood. “Really though, you won't like them.” Gakushuu frowned at him, staring him down until he eventually caved. “Fine. You can see some, I guess…” He pointed to his bag, his main sketchbook was on top of it. Smiling, Gakushuu got up and retrieved it before reclaiming his seat next to his adorably embarrassed best friend. “You can't laugh or be creeped out.”

“I may not be the nicest guy, but I'm not a monster, Karma. I'll be sure to keep my laughter on the inside,” he teased, chuckling when Karma deadpanned and sat up, snatching the book from his hands and flipping through it. “What? I can't do it myself?”

“Some of these are really personal,” he explained softly, trying to find the pages with Gakushuu. “Here…” he muttered, showing a fully detailed drawing of Gakushuu in his school uniform, looking bored and sneaking a peek at his phone in his desk as the teacher droned on in the background. “I doodled this one in class… after you started staying with me. I'd never really paid much attention to you or anyone in class, but that day I just couldn't stop looking at you and this happened. Guess you seemed a little more like a teenager…”

Usually Gakushuu didn't check his phone during class, but at that point he was just tired and exhausted… if this was the day he was thinking of, this was when he'd written out a message to ask Karma to ditch with him, but chickened out in fear of his father hearing about it or something, despite him not being present. “First, I don't normally text in class, I was just a little checked out. Second, you are really talented. Third, this isn't allowed to be called a doodle because it's way too detailed and well-done.”

Watching Karma's eyes light up at the praise made his chest flutter… he was so cute. “I don't blame you, it was a long week…” They both looked at each other, smiling gently, before Karma continued. “Thanks, though… it _is_ a doodle because I did it in class and I was just drawing absentmindedly.” Then he flipped the page and Gakushuu's eyes went wide; there he was again, only far more detailed in the face area. To the shines of his eyes to the curve of his ear; the placement of his hair to the lines of his muscles. This one particular was during gym, he was stretching and had his sleeves rolled up, athletic shorts on. “I was ditching… saw you from under the bleachers and inspiration struck.” The thing about this one was that Karma took a picture for reference… he didn't plan on telling Gakushuu about that, though. 

“You shouldn't ditch class, Karma. Next year we will work on that.” He gave Karma one of those perturbed, but also fond looks, “School is important. And we won't claim the top two spots if you're ditching all the time.” Karma simply shrugged, flipping to the next one so he didn't have to think about the implications of that statement: Gakushuu was planning on being his friend during the school year, too. _Publicly_. How would Touka take that? Shit, he didn't want to think about it. The next picture was Gakushuu shirtless and his face went bright red as he pried the book out of Karma's hands, violet eyes wide. “Karma!!”

Shit! “I told you that you wouldn't like them!” He countered defensively, face just as red as Gakushuu's. 

But when he tried to take the book back, Gakushuu wouldn't let him. Instead, he was looking intently at the drawing him, and then lifting up his own shirt to check for likeness. “I didn't realize my six-pack had gotten so defined…” he muttered to himself before continuing to compare the drawing of him to himself for a few more minutes. “This is like… scary accurate.” Karma was much more observant than he'd first thought… how long had he stared at him to remember the placement of his scars and what they looked like? “How are you so good at this?”

Even though Karma was still embarrassed, he was glad Gakushuu was taking this okay. And the compliments were really nice, too. “Um… practice, I guess? I've been drawing my whole life, Gakushuu. And ever since Mom married Daddy, it's the only thing that's really helped me cope.” He drew when he was sad, angry, anxious, scared, when he wanted to cheer his mom up, when he was bored, when he was lonely. Drawing had always been huge coping mechanism for him… it was private and personal, something he could do to express himself… to get all his emotions out. Sharing his art really took a lot of courage for him, but he knew he could trust Gakushuu and Shouto with it. They wouldn't berate him or anything. 

When Gakushuu hugged him, needless to say Karma was a little confused, but returned the embrace nonetheless. He liked being hugged by Gakushuu… it was nice. Though Karma would never admit it out loud, Gakushuu smelled really good and he couldn't get enough of it. Gakushuu tried to pull away, but Karma wasn't ready and brought him in for a few more seconds before releasing him with a grin. It took everything Gakushuu had not to kiss him, but he managed, just barely. Looking at the picture again, his mind wandered south and he couldn't help but wonder if Karma had perhaps done anything a little more… risqué. “So… there's no better way to put this than bluntly, so uh, have you drawn me naked?” When Karma's face went pale, Gakushuu's jaw dropped. “Let me see!”

“See what!?” Karma asked as he averted his eyes and shrugged, completely obvious, but not caring. Gakushuu could not find his other sketchbook. Absolutely fucking not. “All I have are those ones and a few more. Nothing else. Of course I haven't drawn you naked. Are you crazy? That's like… an invasion of privacy and crossing a line, and I would never ever do that because you're my best friend and…!” Acting so defensively only hurt his case, but it looked like Gakushuu was too busy trying to keep his soul from leaving his body to really notice. While Gakushuu was gaping, Karma quickly got into his bag, found the sketchbook, and ran to lock himself in Gakuhou's office so he could shred the evidence. Unfortunately Gakushuu was just as fast as, if not faster than, him, so he ended up catching him just as he turned the doorknob, not letting him enter. “Lemme go!”

Gakushuu had his arms under Karma's armpits and was restraining him from moving, but as it turns out, what Karma lacked in speed was made up for with monstrous strength, so he broke free and tried to get away, but Gakushuu wouldn't budge as they bickered back and forth, struggling over the sketchbook. 

“Give it here!”

“No!!”

“I want to see!”

“Shuu, stop!!”

“I won't get mad, just let me see!”

“Stop it, you pervert!”

“Out of the two of us, _I'm_ the pervert!?”

“Yes!! Now get off!”

Gakushuu lunged for him and they ended up tumbling inside of Gakuhou's office in a heap of limbs, not missing a beat as the continued their fight over the sketchbook and calling each other names. “You fucking asshole, that hurt!”

“You're the asshole!” Gakushuu spit back, trying to pry the book out of his hands. “Give it!”

“Fuck off!”

“You fuck off!” Gakushuu kneed him in the stomach and finally got ahold of it, only to once again be on the ground, tackled by Karma and now pinned beneath him, wrists above his head and legs immobile under Karma's weight—a lot heavier than Gakushuu thought. “Get off of me, you damn demon spawn!”

“Then give me back my sketchbook!” Karma got in his face and suddenly was very aware of just what kind of position they were in and his face went bright red. It seemed like Gakushuu had just made the same realization if the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down, eyes lowering to Karma's lips ever so slightly. Before Karma could even register what he was doing, he was leaning down and meshing their lips together, Gakushuu accepted it hungrily, leaning up as much as Karma's grip would let him and opening his mouth to let Karma inside. Sketchbook forgotten, he dropped it and interlaced his fingers with Karma's, grinding up against him and—

“Ahem,” a voice that belonged to neither of them cleared their throat and they parted, almost dazed. In that exact moment they remembered where the hell they were and just who the hell this room belonged to. Gakushuu headbutted Karma in the nose, making him yelp and fall to the side while clutching it in pain, before bolting, face growing redder as he nearly toppled over Shouto, who was just outside the doorway, which meant he had seen, too. Shouto ran to Karma and Gakuhou ran after his son before he did something stupid and hurt Karma again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Hope it wasn’t too bad. It may be a while before I update again. I dunno. I’m tired...
> 
> Thanks for everything.


	38. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu has to confront Karma, they meet Shouto’s caretaker, and then the two boys go out for ramen and are joined by an unexpected guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, sorry for the long wait, I’ve been meaning to post but couldn’t really find the motivation to look over this… like at all. Second, I know middle names aren’t a thing in Japan, but Katia wasn’t Japanese, so she gave Gakushuu one and Gakuhou didn’t really care either way (plus, it's nice and fun for scolding purposes in my opinion). Third, I couldn’t focus much on editing, but it’s better than it would have been had I just said fuck it and posted it a week or so ago, so hopefully there aren’t many mistakes. Fourth, I’m gonna be somewhat cleaning this fic up (nothing major, don’t worry, you won’t have to go back unless you really want to), so I’m not sure when I’ll update next. 
> 
> Thank you for reading… it's quite long, and I probably could have broken it up somewhere if I really wanted to, but that would also mean two summaries, two chapter titles, and I know it’ll take me forever to post another chapter if I wait. So here this 8k chapter is.

“Gakushuu! Gakushuu, wait!” But his child continued onwards, sprinting down the sidewalk since he didn't exactly have time to grab his car keys before bolting; he just had to get away. Go somewhere. Anywhere else. Literally anywhere but his home. The place _his fucking father_ had just seen him make out with Karma. Oh God, he was so dead…! Why was his father chasing him down? Was he going to beat him down on the sidewalk? What was he supposed to do!? Feeling helpless and without any other option, Gakushuu tried to lose his father in any way possible: speeding up, taking weird turns, faking him out. But he always caught up! Dammit. He was going to die. His father was going to kill him. Even though he wanted to scream, he just continued sprinting because he wasn't ready to die. Not yet. Not by his father's hands. 

Okay. This was getting ridiculous, Gakuhou finally decided he'd have to scold his son to get him to stop. “Gakushuu Devin Asano, stop running away this instant!” At the use of his full name with that tone, the teenager froze in his tracks and tensed up, awaiting a blow or a slap or a rough tug on his arm. Because he knew his dad wasn't a good person… he wasn't going to change… he was always going to hurt him when he did stupid shit. But no pain came. A hand simply rested on his shoulder, tight enough to keep him in place but loose enough so it didn't hurt. “I forgot how fast you were,” he huffed, just slightly winded after sprinting for so long. 

Mind slipping back into his days of torture… reminding him how terrible his father could be when he made a mistake, especially one of this caliber, he began to panic. Not only had he made out with another male, but he cursed multiple times; for obvious reasons, Gakushuu was absolutely terrified. “I apologize for my behavior. Please do not harm me or Karma, Father… _please_. I swear I won't do it again, just please don't take him away from me.”

The fear did nothing to spark him as it normally did… he knew his child should not fear him, yet he still did, and that was starting to register as a bad thing. Counseling worked wonders, that was for sure. “You can kiss Karma all you want. I do not care, Gakushuu. You being attracted to the same sex does not disgust me or anything of the sort.” Hesitant, he gave his son a few pats on the head, but Gakushuu stayed frozen in place, body incredibly tense, head down and eyes trained on the the ground. “As for your cursing…” Shit, shit, shit! He was gonna kill him! “You are sixteen, and have been spending a lot of time around Karma, who encourages that sort of behavior. Please try not to do it in front of me, though.” What? That was entirely unexpected and extremely out of character for his father. “What I am upset about is you running out on Karma. Do you have any idea how guilty and upset he probably feels right now?”

Of course he knew, but Gakushuu was embarrassed! He just made out with Karma in his father's office right in front of the man. Sure he came out to Karma, but he didn't tell his father yet. Even if he was okay with it, and probably already knew, the teenager wasn't ready. It was too scary. Too personal. Usually he didn't tell his father personal things; it was all academics and athletics with him. Not how his day was; not how he was feeling; not who he was crushing on. Definitely not who he was making out with. “He shouldn't have kissed me, then…” Yes, that was wrong, but he didn't care… he was upset, too. 

“You kissed him back. To put all of the blame on him would be unfair.” Gakushuu turned red up to the tips of his ears, hating that his father had seen him in such a vulnerable state. “Gakushuu, I understand that this may be a lot for you to process and understand, I am more than aware of that, but I am changing. You do not have to be afraid.” His child said nothing, simply allowed the man to turn him around and lead him back home. “I will not hurt you, especially for playing around with your friend.” But it wasn't that simple for Gakushuu; he didn't trust this. Two months ago and his father was still beating the shit out of him; two months ago his father would have kicked the shit out of him for cursing and acting like a child… maybe upset for kissing Karma, though he wasn't for sure on that one. He didn't know what the hell to do or think about this. Why get used to it when his father could snap at any moment? Why allow the person who continuously hurt and degraded him for even the tiniest of mistakes to get close to him? Just because he's 'changing' or whatever. No, Gakushuu didn't believe it; this man didn't deserve a second chance. “What you did with Karma was not something I should see, and your embarrassment is completely justifiable, but headbutting him like that was not okay.”

That was purely instinctual; he wanted to get Karma off of him so he could get the hell out of there as soon as he could. That was the first thing his body thought to do. But he did feel bad about it, now. “I didn't mean to…” he mumbled.

“Be sure to explain that to him… he has been hurt enough for being 'insubordinate' and I do not doubt he is currently blaming and berating himself for upsetting you.” That was how children like Karma were, it was sad, but it happened; making others upset feels like the end of the world to them because they believe it only ends in pain. “Probably believes he deserves it, even if you are not Mr. Karasuma.”

“I know! I'll tell him. God…” he muttered, rolling his eyes at his father attempting to parent him. It was annoying. Gakushuu already knew all this shit and he didn't have to hear it from his asshole father. 

They stayed silent the rest of the way home. 

When they arrived back at their house, both were shocked to see Shouto standing there scowling, waiting for them—more specifically, Gakushuu. “How dare you!” He walked up to the teenager and punched him in the balls, making Gakushuu drop to his knees in pain, groaning because holy shit that hurt. Kid packed one hell of a punch, that was for sure. Gakuhou didn't know whether or not to scold the child, as his son did kind of deserve that, but… he chose to watch in silence. “You're lucky you didn't break it.” It was difficult to even get Karma to move, let alone into the bathroom to clean him up. The whole time he just cried, allowing Shouto to dote on him because he was so scared that he'd somehow made Gakushuu hate him. “Now he's just curled up in the corner crying and muttering to himself because he's so scared you're mad at him.” Not to mention the fact that Karma kept saying he was bad, that he deserved it for being an idiot, that he was in trouble so he needed to stay in the corner until Gakushuu came back and forgave him. Shouto did not like the implications of such out of character actions… what exactly was happening to make him like that? It hurt to think about. “You made him slip back into panic mode, you asshole!” It seemed Gakushuu was not the only one Karma's trash mouth was effecting. 

Of course Gakuhou tried to go up right away to calm him down because Karma's panic mode was never good and always took quite a bit of help to get him out of, Gakushuu pulled him back, despite still being in pain from that—well deserved—punch to the balls. “I'll do it. It's my fault.” 

The man simply nodded, allowing his son to go on, Shouto glaring after him the whole way, muttering insults under his breath. It seemed the child really cared about Karma… which was good, but also worried him. This could end badly in a lot of ways because how would Tadaomi react to Karma wanting to spend time with yet another person? Child or not, Gakuhou was sure the man would find something to complain about. “What time do you need to be home, Mr. Todoroki?” 

The boy shrugged his good arm, it wasn't like he'd really discussed such things with his father… hell, he hadn't really discussed anything with anyone. Not even Karma, who he hadn't texted beforehand and ended up running into at their spot. Telling someone hadn't really crossed his mind, he just wanted to be at the tree, and then he probably would have texted Karma eventually, once he couldn't handle the pain anymore. But Karma was already there, which really worked out for all parties involved. “Before dark. No one knew I was running off.” After he'd regained consciousness he'd simply bolted, not caring to tell anyone. 

“Perhaps you should get ahold of someone? Aizawa is surely worried.” How he knew about that, Shouto didn't know, but he didn't like it. Just how much did he know, and how close was he with his old man? The glare he received only make Gakuhou huff in amusement. “It is not as if I know him personally, but he contacted me about Karma, to make sure he wouldn't hurt you. That is all.” Shouto huffed, how annoying. Aizawa needed to stay out of his personal affairs; he didn't need an over glorified babysitter. But he nodded anyway, because it was kind of nice to know he cared. At least someone did…

Upstairs, Gakushuu cautiously walked into his bedroom and his heart sank at what he saw. In short, Karma was a complete mess: as Shouto said, he was in the corner, rocking back and forth while pulling at his hair and crying to himself. It hurt. He'd never seen anyone do this, and it was terrifying to know that his stepfather had broken him to such an extent. “Karma…?” He kept his voice steady and low, not wanting to startle him. All was for naught, though, as Karma jumped about a mile high and curled in on himself even more. It took everything Gakushuu had not to storm over to wherever Tadaomi was and beat him to a pulp. “Karma, I'm not mad. I swear. I didn't mean to do that.” The redhead hummed slightly, but he could tell either the words didn't process or were taken as a lie. When he inched closer, he nearly flinched when Karma looked up at him, golden eyes full of pure terror and tears. Shit. He had never wanted to make Karma look like that. How often had he cried because of Gakushuu over the last week or so? God, he was such an idiot. “Karma, please don't look at me like that. I'm not going to hurt you, you know that.”

“I was bad… I kissed you and you hate me now. Cause your daddy saw. And he hates me, too. Because I'm not worthy of you.” Then Karma squeezed his eyes shut tight, shaking his head. “I deserved worse. For everything I've done. Even before this. I was horrible.”

“You didn't deserve anything!” Gakushuu raised his voice slightly, throwing all caution to the wind and settling down beside Karma, hugging him tightly. At first he stiffened up, which killed Gakushuu a little on the inside, but relaxed when he realized Gakushuu was merely holding him, turning slightly and embracing him snugly. “I was wrong to do that, and as for what happened before, I'm over it.” Mostly. But right now he just wanted Karma to calm down, and that wouldn't happen if Karma thought he was upset. “Yes, we both handled it poorly, but we're better now. You never deserve any sort of harm or abuse. Okay?” But Karma kept shaking his head, grasping Gakushuu like a lifeline as he cried into his neck. “It's true. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.” Another shake of the head, and a choked back sob. “Why?” Because why did he think this way? Why with him, too?

“Because I'm bad…” he whimpered. “I'm bad, and I deserve pain. To atone for being bad.” God, seeing Karma acting so… unlike himself, it was sickening. He was acting like a fucking five year old child, terrified of their abuser, but too weak to do anything about it. It wasn't right. He didn't deserve this. Just how broken was he? How deep did the scars run? “I'm sorry, Shuu. I wasn't thinking. I'll never do it again, just please don't leave me. Please don't hate me. I don't want to lose you, not again.”

Sighing, Gakushuu held his best friend, withholding his tears to the best of his ability. Usually he was more than capable of holding back his emotions and keeping them under control, but Karma could make him do so many things he didn't think he ever would. “You're not bad, I promise. I'm not going anywhere, and I don't hate you. You can kiss me any other time, just… not in front of my father, okay? That doesn't make the fact that I about broke your nose okay, though. So, I'm sorry about that. Neither of us knew, we just got caught up in the moment and that's okay. It's okay; I'm not angry, and you're not bad. I could never hate you, Karma.” That was the truth… he didn't feel like he could ever hate Karma. How anyone else could, he didn't know, because Karma was absolutely precious. “You don't have to atone with me, Karma. Never feel like you have to atone or be punished with me.”

Surprisingly enough, Karma nodded after a few moments of processing all of that, believing Gakushuu since he had no reason not to. If he said he wasn't bad, then he hadn't been bad… there was no reason to make up for it or let himself be punished. With Gakushuu, he didn't have to do any of what he did with his daddy… Gakushuu was different… better. “O-Okay…” he sniffled, hesitantly cuddling in closer. “If you promise.”

“I do,” he smiled, breathing in the wonderful, sweet scent of Karma's hair, holding him close. “I promise.” And he wholeheartedly meant that. 

But that was the funny thing about promises. They were fleeting things. A lot like feelings. Promises… such _fragile_ things. Easy to make, and even easier to break. Can't keep them all. Wonder how long it will take for such a fragile promise to shatter, leaving a broken trail of glass and pain in its wake. 

xx

The two teenagers sat there in each other's arms for what seemed like hours before Shouto's cute little face popped in, peeking at the scene with both relief and a bit of irritation. The fact that they made up was great and all, but how was Karma so forgiving? After everything Gakushuu had done, he crawled right back and forgave him. Not just for today, but the whole situation with Touka, and all the harsh words and threats he'd been given for ignoring him. It reminded him of his mom, almost… the way Karma was so terrified, but seemed to want nothing more than Gakushuu's approval and love. But Gakushuu wasn't like his old man, not in the slightest. Sure, he was a bit much, but he could be kind, and helpful… no ulterior motives, no cruelty, no swinging fists or roundhouse kicks to the ribs. 

Then again, looks could be deceiving. But Shouto wanted to believe Gakushuu was good… Karma needed more good in his life.

“Um… Karma,” the boy spoke softly, effectively grabbing the redhead's attention. When he pulled away from Gakushuu, Shouto continued. “One of my father's people is here, Mr. Aizawa… he wants to meet you, but I understand if you would rather wait.” His golden eyes were still a bit red and puffy, and his hair was kind of messy. Not that his over-glorified babysitter would mind that, as he wasn't much for appearances either. 

But Karma simply smiled, fully removing himself from Gakushuu and getting to his feet. “If he wants to meet me, that's fine…” When it seemed like Gakushuu was making no move to follow, Karma grabbed his hand and yanked him up, forcing him to his feet. “You too.”

Almost pouting, Gakushuu tried to pull back. “Why?”

“Because you're my best friend and I need moral support.” Gakushuu deadpanned, not really wanting to meet one of Shouto's caretakers. The two of them barely even knew each other, so what would be the point in that? When he still looked hesitant, Karma narrowed his eyes slightly. “And you almost broke my nose, so you owe me.” Not dignifying that with a response, Gakushuu simply huffed before allowing Karma to pull him downstairs behind Shouto. 

Once they made it to the living room, they found a tired, scraggly looking man with unkempt black hair dressed in all black, and a grey… scarf? Huh… he was attractive in a strange sort of way, but Karma said nothing of it, simply eyeing the man skeptically and holding onto Gakushuu's hand tighter. “Karma…” His voice was deep, but nice, and his icy blue eyes seemed to pierce right through him as he stared. Shit. He was kind of scary… “Thank you for taking care of Shouto last night,” he bowed slightly and Karma went bright red. What the hell!? He didn't deserve this kind of praise or thanks, he was simply doing what any decent person would do. “Thank you for looking after him this past week or so, as well… I'm sure you had better things to do, but thank you for being so kind to him.”

Shaking his head, Karma backed away slightly, accidentally bumping into Gakushuu's firm chest; this helped calm him down, only slightly. “No, I uh… it's no big deal. Please. It's fine—he's fine. Shou is a total sweetheart, and I'm happy to have him around. Please don't thank me, I didn't even do anything.”

No one really knew how to take Karma's sudden mood shift… he didn't seem to take appreciation or gratitude well, at least, not from strangers. Gakushuu simply let him stay, free hand lowering down towards his hip and rubbing soothing circles there with his thumb to calm him down. “You did a lot more than you know.” Even though his words were directed towards Karma, he was looking at Shouto. “Shouto is a handful, but you've managed to break through his walls somehow, and I thank you for that.”

“M'not a handful,” Shouto grumbled to himself, crossing his arms over his chest and kicking at the floor. And he wasn't normally, he just didn't like the fact that he had people watching his every move and did well to make their lives a living hell. 

Rolling his eyes, Aizawa sighed. “Tell that to everyone who's quit because of you.” Shouto did not dignify that with a response and Karma snorted, Shouto was an a amazing kid, that was for sure. “Anyway, so long as it's you, I am willing to overlook him sneaking out. But if you attempt to hurt him, or become a bad influence on him, I will not hesitate to intervene.”

Almost taken aback, Karma stared at the man, slightly offended. “Who do you take me for? I would never hurt anyone, let alone a child…” No one could fault the man, as he didn't know what Karma went through, but the tension did rise a bit; the overwhelming need to protect and defend their precious Karma nagging at them despite knowing he was more than capable of fending for himself. “I can assure you, I would never do anything to hurt Shouto.” 

Things were silent for a moment, but Aizawa was able to read the air… Karma was being truthful and everyone in the room knew it. “I'll hold you to that.” Then he looked to Shouto. “Come on, brat. You're already late for your tutoring session.” 

Pouting, Shouto nodded before giving Karma a hug and slipping a piece of sketchbook paper into his hands. “I apologize for this morning, and… I'll text you later on tonight.”

“Alright,” Karma smiled warmly, leaning down and returning the embrace, trying not to bend the paper in any way. It was a picture of the two of them, sitting in the tree and holding hands. How cute. “Thank you, Shou.”

The little boy smiled and pulled away, glaring slightly when he locked eyes with Gakushuu. “I'm not sorry for punching you in the balls…” Karma snorted loudly, not realizing that had happened since he'd been upstairs having a meltdown, while Aizawa blinked in surprise. What had he done to make Shouto so angry? It wasn't often that he resorted to violence. “But… thank you, for earlier,” he averted his eyes, almost embarrassed. “I hope we can be friends, too.”

Even though he was a little irritated, Gakushuu knew he deserved it, so he simply nodded. “It was no problem at all. I look forward to getting to know you, as well. Usually Karma has awful taste in friends…” Said male scoffed and bumped him with his shoulder because his friend were all wonderful, thank you. “But you seem pretty okay.”

Shouto grinned, hugging Karma one last time before heading out with the scraggly man once he'd exchanged contact info with Karma. It was scary to have yet another number in his phone, a man's no less, but he hoped his daddy wouldn't make a big deal out of it… once they were gone, a shit-eating grin crept to Karma's lips. “He punched you in the balls?”

“Shut up, demon spawn,” Gakushuu shoved him away with a scowl. But Karma remained unfazed, simply smiling at him. “Let's get dressed, I wanna go somewhere.” Karma nodded, following along without question or complaint. 

Gakuhou didn't quite understand the sinking feeling he felt in his gut, but simply went on back to his office… they would be fine. Because why wouldn't they be?

xx

Karma sat in the passenger's seat patiently, just watching the scenery go by while Gakushuu drove them to some unknown destination. Wherever they were going, Karma hoped it was indoors because he really hated being outside. With July just days away, it was hot as hell outside and he wasn't in the mood to sweat a bunch. While he was mostly healed, he still had to use foundation and concealer to cover up the remaining yellowish bruises that hadn't quite faded enough yet so he could wear a ripped tank and loose basketball shorts that used to fit him just fine but we're now a tad bit too big… had he been losing weight? Weird. He was eating right… mostly. Now that he thought about it, he had been skipping meals a little more often. That needed to stop; he had to be in tip top shape for when he had to go back to Tadaomi. 

Back to his daddy… 

Huh… he hadn't thought about him in so long. For the first time in a while, Karma really had a chance to just settle down and think. It was sad to think that that place was no longer where he considered _home_. The Asano home was more a home to him than that place had ever been, really thinking about it. Hell, it was the homiest place he'd ever been; it was the only place he didn't really have to worry about getting hurt. After all, Gakushuu promised… he said he deserved to be treated with love and respect, that he didn't have to atone for being bad. It was definitely different, a struggle to accept, but he would enjoy small freedoms and kind words while he could. Until he inevitably had to return to the dollhouse he resided in and had to play sex doll again. God, he hadn't had painful sex in such a long time and it was the safest and happiest he felt in quite some time. Honestly, he hadn't realized just how much it was affecting him until he suddenly started feeling better—lighter. 

“Karma,” Gakushuu snapped him out of his thoughts, making Karma look over at him. With Karma's attention on him, he continued. “Are you okay? You seemed a little checked out.”

But Karma shook his head, smirking. “I'm fine, just a little tired from the blood loss~” Gakushuu sputtered at this, apologizing once more for hurting him, but Karma was simple relieved he'd been able to successfully deflect the question. Because no, he wasn't okay… he was sure he'd have to go back soon and as much as he didn't want to, he also kind of did. To be honest, he missed his daddy… even if it didn't seem like it, he wasn't all bad; he could be kind when he wanted to be. When he wasn't using Karma, or beating him, or degrading him, or being manipulative. Okay, he was sure that all sounded really bad, but he couldn't help but love the man; even if he wanted to hate him, he couldn't. And Karma couldn't help but feel fucked up for thinking like that. 

The next time Gakushuu spoke, they were stopped in front of a… ramen place? Huh, Karma didn't even know they had one of those. It wasn't like he went out often, and when he did, it was normally to the grocery store or just fast food. “You've never been here?”

“I don't leave my house much,” he grinned sheepishly.

Oh… yeah, he probably should have expected that considering who Karma was living with. What an asshole. At least his father allowed him to leave and go eat places, but it seemed Karma didn't have that same luxury. “So, he doesn't let you leave… like at all?”

“Eh, I get to grocery shopping at least once a week usually,” he shrugged before adding, “If I'm not too banged up, anyway.” God, that just added more fuel to Gakushuu's hate fire… he hated Tadaomi Karasuma with everything he had and more because Karma didn't deserve that. It wasn't fair. “And clothes shopping from time to time… but other than that, no. I'm quite the homebody,” he laughed a little, trying not to put any of the blame on his daddy even though he knew that Gakushuu already knew. But painting his daddy as the bad guy was a big no, so it was kind of a habit by this point. 

Sighing, Gakushuu leaned over and hugged his best friend tightly. “I promise I will get you out of there one of these days.”

Get him out of there? Ha, he could certainly try. Just being away this long was a miracle and Karma was surprised his daddy hadn't tried to drag his ass back home yet. Maybe he was too busy enjoying the house to himself, fucking around with women and not having to worry about Karma overhearing or something. But that thought train would probably make him sick, so he simply focused on the warmth wrapped around him so delicately, as if he'd break at the slightest wrong touch. It was kind of nice, being treated like such a delicacy… “So… food?”

Clearly Karma didn't believe him, but he didn't have to right now… one day, Gakushuu would get him the hell out of there. Then Karma would believe him; seeing is believing, after all. “Yeah, let's go.” He kissed Karma's cheek before shutting off the car and getting out. After locking the doors, they headed to the entrance and Karma couldn't help but check out Gakushuu's ass as he walked inside. Goddamn, he had such a nice butt… it wasn't fair. Those damn skinny jeans hugged him just right and Karma couldn't help but ogle a bit. Of course Gakushuu caught him gawking, face going bright red as he pulled down his shirt to hide whatever the redhead was staring at. “Pervert,” he muttered. And was going to add something along the lines of 'gonna draw that, too?' but decided against it considering how this morning went. All he wanted to do was forget any of that happened and just go on being normal. No sense in bringing it up again. 

Grinning, Karma moved a little closer to him in line, trying not to think about how many people were currently in the building. Never had been a fan of crowds, and Tadaomi's constant nagging about people always lusting after his body or whatever only made it worse. It felt like eyes were all over him; like the walls were closing in on him. But before he could panic too much, a warm hand slipped into his own and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Gold met violet, calming him almost immediately; making him feel all warm and tingly on the inside. Gakushuu was… holding his hand… in public? When the bastard smiled—no, not like his empty, fake smile, but a real, genuinely warm smile—at him, Karma was done for. Swallowing, he allowed himself to just have this while he could… if Gakushuu was okay with it, then he should be, too. 

So they waited in line, hand in hand; Gakushuu couldn't care less about any attention it may bring since he felt he only had to prove himself to his father, and Karma just tried to ignore the people brave enough to blatantly stare at them. Why was it even a big deal? They were just holding hands… it was for comfort, not because they were dating. But Karma didn't feel the need to explain himself to anyone and just continued standing there with a tight grip on Gakushuu's hand so he couldn't escape. When it was their turn to order, the girl seemed to recognize Gakushuu, but Karma had no idea who she was. “Hey, Gakushuu. You want your usual?” Did he come here a lot? Huh… he didn't even know Gakushuu liked ramen. Cool. He couldn't wait to find out more. When the male nodded, she looked to Karma. “And for you?”

Shit… shit, he was so distracted from holding Gakushuu's hand and ignoring people that he didn't think to look at the menu. Sensing his distress, Gakushuu swooped in and saved the day. “He'll have the chicken one, no onions, and a medium drink.” Almost taken aback, Karma gaped at his best friend in shock; how the fuck did he know that? But said male paid no mind to him and simply pulled out his wallet, swiping his card and then taking releasing Karma's hand to grab the cups. “Thank you, Hinano.”

“Yup, I'll bring it out to you when it's ready. Is it okay if I join you on my break?”

“Sure,” he smiled, though it was forced and Karma knew it. Just how well did they know each other? What was her goal? Why did Gakushuu look uncomfortable? But Karma didn't ask, he simply followed Gakushuu around to the drink machine, filled his cup with tea, and then followed Gakushuu to the seating area where they decided on a booth. Karma scooted in next to him because he didn't feel comfortable sitting next to that girl, and he especially didn't feel comfortable with Gakushuu sitting next to her. If Gakushuu was surprised by Karma doing this, he didn't show it. “Do you need a fork?”

But Karma shook his head, “I know how to use chopsticks, my bio dad is Japanese, numbskull.” For whatever reason, this actually seemed to surprise Gakushuu. “What?”

“I didn't realize, is all. You never talk about your biological parents.”

“Yeah, well…” He shrugged, not keen on continuing this conversation. Even if it was Gakushuu, it was just a very sore subject for him; his biological parents abandoned him, so forgive him for not wanting to speak about them. “So who's that girl?”

“You mean Hinano?” Karma nodded, glad Gakushuu wasn't fighting him on the subject change. “Ah, I come here a lot. But she's also a senior at our school… pretty sure she's friends with…” He trailed off when he realized where that was going, and where it would end up. No way was he upsetting Karma again, especially with _that_. 

But Karma being Karma, he finished the sentence for him. “Friends with Touka?” He inquired, raising an eyebrow. When Gakushuu nodded, Karma felt a pit in his stomach, but he refused to let that get to him… Gakushuu chose him over her, and this girl probably wasn't all bad. Probably. Hopefully. “Cool…”

Huffing, Gakushuu tilted his head back and rested it on the back of the booth. “Please don't tell me you're upset.”

“I'm not,” he pouted, almost offended that Gakushuu thought so little of him. “She's not Touka, so there's no reason for me to be upset.”

True. Since Karma wasn't upset, Gakushuu sat back up and rested his elbow on the table, propping his chin up in his hand. “So… Shouto is actually kind of adorable.” That was probably a good topic, as Karma seemed to really like that kid. 

As expected, Karma lit up, simply gushing over the child despite him not being there. “Isn't he? Oh my God, he's just the sweetest little thing.” Wanting Karma to continue being all bright and happy, Gakushuu decided to ask how they met and that turned out to be a wild story. Shouto was something else, that was for sure.

By the time he was finished, Hinano arrived with their food and slid in across from them. First thing she asked had both boys sputtering. “So you guys are dating?”

“No!” They both said at the same time, shaking their heads. Anything between them was to be kept a secret; behind closed doors only, with as few people in on it as possible. Granted, if they really wanted that, they probably shouldn't have held hands like that in line, but that was necessary: Karma needed to calm down and that was the only thing Gakushuu could think of at that moment. “This is Karma Akabane, he's in my class at school.”

The girl smirked, taking a sip of her drink. “I know who he is,” she laughed a little. “Rio talks about him all the time.” Karma's face went beet red because why the hell was she talking to him and what the hell was she saying? Shit. Chancing a glance over at Gakushuu, he didn't seem fazed, but Karma knew better… he wasn't a fan of Rio at all, and that was probably the last thing he wanted to talk about. Just like Karma didn't want to talk about Touka. But that was probably bound to happen given their guest who didn't seem to know how to read the mood. “She's been in love with him for like, _years_ ,” she emphasized, green eyes wide. It didn't look like she was upset or accusing him of anything, simply stating a fact. A fact that was probably not supposed to be repeated, especially to Karma, himself. 

“Yeah, well Karma doesn't like her like that, so…” It came out before he could think better of it… oops, he really shouldn't let his emotions get the better of him, but he really didn't want Hina to get the wrong idea. And he especially didn't want Karma to have to explain himself to her. Whatever she was playing at, she needed to stop. 

Hinano smiled a little, “She seems to think otherwise.” Karma choked on his ramen; shit. Why was this conversation happening right now? Was he not allowed to be happy for one fucking day? That's all he asked for: one day without all this relationship drama! One day he could spend with Gakushuu and just have fun. “I didn't take you as a player, Karma,” she giggled a little. 

Despite the little green monster trying to whisper in Gakushuu's ear and make him upset, he simply kept smiling. This was not going to get to him. “Karma is not a player, and please refrain from speaking to him like that. Just because they had sex doesn't mean anything.” Beside him, Karma nearly started choking all over again, not sure how a simple outing came to this. The universe hated him, he decided, it hated him and wanted him to suffer. What had he done to deserve this? Honestly… this was just ridiculous. “Is this what you wanted? To interrogate him? If so, kindly leave,” he shooed her away. 

Not that she listened, she simply continued smiling and eating, as if she was not disrupting their meal or making them upset. “Now, now,” she waved him off, slurping up her noodles before speaking again. “I'm simply trying to be in the know. It's quite the gossip around our friend group. What exactly happened between you two?” But Karma didn't answer, he simply stuffed his mouth full of noodles and refused to look at the girl. “If you can't tell me, that's okay,” she shrugged. “All I know is that Rio really likes you, and I know you don't want to hurt her…” Karma looked up at this, slightly confused because how the hell would she know? “But even just being friends with her, it's giving her hope, and she's been really weird lately, so…”

“You've noticed, too, then?” He asked before he could really think too much into it. It wasn't like he didn't care about Rio, as he really was worried about her, but she wasn't saying anything. “Has she said anything?”

Almost surprised by his sudden concern, she shook her head slowly, just staring at him. “She hasn't been texting me back for the last week… and she's refused to come hang out with us like all summer—keeps saying she's busy or whatever.”

That was weird… why would she text him so often but not her friends? And Hinano didn't seem to know Rio had been sick. Was she keeping it a secret for a reason? “Huh… well, she does have a job, you know. And her brother is back in town, so I don't doubt they've been drinking and getting high when she isn't working.” When Hinano looked surprised, Karma slapped a hand over his mouth; shit, was this not someone who knew what Rio did in her spare time? “I uh… what?”

“I just… can't believe you would say that in front of the chairman's son…”

Oh, was that all? God, she really scared him for a second there. “Shuu isn't gonna say anything.”

Said male nodded, an indifferent look on his face as he spoke. “What others do in their spare time is of little concern to me.” Plus, he wasn't going to narc someone out, that wasn't something he had any interest in, especially if it meant having to talk to his father. “If it doesn't affect me, I'm fine.” The only way he would intervene was if Karma started doing it as well, then he would crush her, because drugs and alcohol was not something Karma should be partaking in. Not that he seemed to want anything to do with the latter substance thanks to its influence on his awful guardian.

“Huh, you're really not as uptight and cold as everyone says. Touka was right,” she huffed in amusement. 

At the mere mention of Touka, Karma stiffened slightly, but said nothing. There was nothing to be upset over, Gakushuu chose him… Gakushuu wanted him. Even if it was just as friends who kiss sometimes for right now, he still chose Karma. Not only that, but he was gay, so he really didn't have to worry about Touka now. Right! There was absolutely nothing to worry about. “I honestly don't understand why people think that way,” Gakushuu shook his head, rolling his eyes. “It is not as if I go out of my way to make everyone's lives miserable. How people live their lives is up to them. Just let me live mine in peace, you know?”

Hinano laughed softly, “Yeah, Touka was definitely right about you. You're nothing like your dad.”

At the mere mention of people thinking he was like that asshole of a man, he bristled. How dare they!? Before he could potentially get upset, Karma put a hand on his thigh and spoke. “First, Dr. Asano really isn't all bad if he likes you.” Of course, Karma was probably one of the few people the man liked, so he understood the two looks thrown his way. “Second, Gakushuu is way better than his dad. Anyone with eyes should be able to see that. Hell, even people who can't see would be able to tell…” Gakushuu wanted nothing more than to kiss Karma right then and there because that was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said about him. 

“It's kind of funny,” she giggled, “Thinking you two used to hate each other.”

Both of them paused at that, thinking back to midterms, that big altercation they had. Gakushuu couldn't help but grimace, remembering just how much he'd hurt Karma at that time. Sure Karma pissed him off and said some uncalled for things, but Gakushuu really tore him a new one… really looking back, Karma had been extremely hurt by that fight. Had he ever properly made up for that? Knowing Karma, he would say that everything he'd done after finals was more than enough, but Gakushuu couldn't help but feel guilty… Karma had been going through so much, and he'd just added to the fire burning Karma alive. What that awful man had put him through was worse than anything his own father had put Gakushuu through… all Gakushuu felt he could do was protect Karma from that piece of shit, no matter what. 

“Yeah, I was really surprised Gakushuu accepted me… I never would have thought we'd be as close as we are now, let alone friends,” Karma smiled warmly. Sure he'd thought things would have somewhat changed between them, but he didn't think things would end up the way they did. Never did he ever think they would get to the point they were at now: best friends and intimate with one another. 

Almost offended, Gakushuu looked at him. “Really? Why?”

“I dunno,” Karma shrugged, “You just seemed so far away at first, way out of my reach… but then all that bullshit happened. Yeah, it sucked, but I'm glad things turned out the way they did,” he smiled, squeezing Gakushuu's hand. “You're an amazing best friend. Couldn't ask for a better one, to be honest.” None of his other friends even compared… yeah, maybe Gakushuu was kind of mean sometimes, but he was also so kind to him, made him feel warm and safe; nor was he afraid to be real with him. There was no stepping on eggshells or any of that bullshit, but he did know when to tone it down a bit. Gakushuu simply hummed in response before stuffing his mouth; he didn't know what to say to such genuine affection and kindness from Karma. 

This earned a small squeal from the girl they'd nearly forgotten about. “You two are so cute together.” They both blushed at that, filling their mouths with ramen and trying to hide their blushes. Then Hinano sighed, pulling at her bangs a bit as she seemed to contemplate something in her head before giving them a determined nod. “And because you're so cute, here's a warning… Touka isn't one to give up so easily. When she wants something, she does everything she can to get it.”

The boys swallowed their food down with some difficulty at these words… what did she mean by that? “I'm not sure I understand…?”

“Gakushuu, she likes you.”

Oh… well that wasn't a problem because he didn't like her. Not romantically, at least. As a friend… he was actually starting to for a while, but after that shit she pulled and how much she hurt Karma, his feelings towards her were far more negative. Yeah, he couldn't say that he even liked her as a friend at this point. “Well I don't like her, do you have any idea how much she hurt Karma?” Hinano looked fairly confused, so Gakushuu explained the bare minimum, not wanting to send Karma into a fit of anxiety or anything. “That just drove me away even further…”

Because Hinano was the sweetest little thing, she actually looked rather upset to be hearing this. “Oh God, I didn't think she'd go that far… Damn.” 

She frowned at Karma, who was simply eating and trying not to think about the pictures and psych himself out again. Gakushuu was thinking of him the whole time, he kept reminding himself, not her. He was gay and there was absolutely nothing to be upset over; it was all just a big misunderstanding. Gakushuu was simply having some sort of sexuality crisis and was trying to figure himself out; and he did. Whatever he had with Touka was over… but that didn't mean she was done trying, as Hinano had just informed them of. Still… Gakushuu was strong and brave, he would think of something. He always did.

“Yeah, so…” He wasn’t about to come out as gay to her, so he kept it vague. “Any chance she might have had, even as friends, it's completely gone. Karma is the most important thing to me, and she hurt him immensely. That is just not something I can so easily forgive.” At this, Karma couldn't help himself and leaned over so he could hug Gakushuu tightly; it still amazed him just how nice and genuine his best friend could be when he really wanted to. And Gakushuu accepted it, wrapping an arm around Karma's waist and holding him close. It felt right, having him there. “Feel free to tell her this, I honestly couldn't care less. Anything she tries will backfire, and if she even thinks about hurting Karma, she will regret it for the rest of her pathetic excuse of a life,” he narrowed his eyes at her, voice low and almost seething. 

That look in his eyes would have scared most people, but not Karma… Hinano, hell fucking yeah it scared her, and she hoped Touka would heed his warning because from what she'd heard, Gakushuu could be scary when provoked. But _this_? This was a whole new level of terrifying. Remind her to never get on his bad side. “Y-Yeah…”After that, they ate in silence, Hinano was quick to finish up and bid them a good bye. “Oh, Karma, can you give me your number? I just… I'm worried about Rio, and she seems to be far more open with you.”

Even though he really, _really_ didn't want to, be pulled out his phone anyway and exchanged information with her; she was just worried about her friend and he couldn't fault her for that. After all, she'd actually been pretty nice aside from the prying. “I'll let you know if I find anything out.” 

She nodded, “Thank you. See you guys later~” They both waved her off. 

“That was exhausting,” Karma sighed, opting to drop his head onto Gakushuu's shoulder rather than the table since he didn’t feel like wearing his ramen. 

“Tell me about it,” Gakushuu shook his head, bringing his hand up and combing through Karma's soft red hair. Glancing down, he noticed that Karma had only eaten about half of his ramen… surely he had to be hungrier than that, he barely even ate breakfast. “You should eat a little more, Karma. Unless you feel sick…?”

“A little,” he shrugged. “I dunno, I just haven't been all that hungry lately.” Gakushuu hummed thoughtfully, wondering if maybe Karma's anxiety or depression was affecting his eating habits. If so, that wasn't good… but there really wasn't much he could do about it other than try to help him through whatever was troubling him at the moment. But for now, he would have to accept that Karma couldn't eat and try to help once they could be alone. “I'm fine, though,” he grinned, sitting up and digging in again. “Don't worry so much, Shuu.”

Surprisingly, that was extremely hard for him—to not worry about Karma, that is. Usually Gakushuu didn't worry about anyone but himself, but here Karma was making him fret over what was probably nothing. Okay, it probably wasn't nothing, it was usually something with Karma… but he always tried so hard to hide it that it was difficult to tell. Still, a problem for another time. “Don't push yourself. I'll go ask for a to go bowl.”

If the grateful look in Karma's eyes was anything to go by, Gakushuu did something right. So Karma let Gakushuu out before plopping back down, watching him walk to the front, chin propped up in his hand as he looked on almost dreamily. God, he really did have such an amazing best friend. One who wasn't fooled by his tough facade or anything like that… he saw right through Karma, like he was transparent. It might have scared him if it was anyone else, but this was Gakushuu… he promised he wouldn't hurt him. 

But honestly, even if he did, Karma didn't think he'd mind it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um… yeah. Hope that was good? Boys are bonding and shit. But for how long…? Next chapter should be fun. Or not. It depends on how you look at it. It was exciting to write. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback, it’s appreciated.


	39. I will Destroy Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma makes plans to go to Rio's, but Gakushuu won’t let him go alone after finding out what happened the last time he was there. Gakushuu and Rome exchange words... and fists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. Um, I actually like how this chapter turned out. It was supposed to be longer, but I broke it up because I felt the two were better separated. This thing already has so many chapters, but I think they’re better separate. Even if the next one is now under 3k (as of right now)... but that also means it will be up sooner. Like tomorrow probably. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

Three days had passed since they'd gone out for ramen and had their unfortunate encounter with Hinano. Other than that little issue, things had been good between Karma and Gakushuu—great, even. In the mornings Karma would cook for everyone—Gakushuu would help with dishes despite Karma's protests—and Gakuhou's attempts to be fatherly and attentive towards Gakushuu continued to be shot down. Of course Karma understood, both sides of the issue, but he continued supporting Gakushuu; if he wasn't ready, that was fine, and his father should accept that. Then the two teens would either read, or Gakushuu would work on his summer homework while Karma usually played on his ds—and Gakushuu would never admit to actually needing Karma's help on that damn worksheet. Or sometimes they would just lounge around, maybe make out a bit, and talk about whatever they were feeling: school, politics, the economy, their dreams, their aspirations, et cetera et cetera. Usually around 1 or 2 would they stop to have lunch and then either pick up where they left off or find something else to do. 

After lunch, there were times they would go to the park and walk around, they met up with Shouto once, who clung to Karma like a damn koala, which may or may not have pissed Gakushuu off just a little—not that he was able to comprehend where the sinking feeling in his gut was coming from. But thanks to Karma, the two of them actually got along rather well because 'his two best friends needed to like each other' or something to that extent. Even Gakushuu had to admit the kid was smart for his age, not to mention he was kind of funny, especially when he deliberately ignored anyone his age that tried to talk to him. In all honesty, he kind of reminded Gakushuu a little bit of himself and Karma mixed together. Shouto was a good kid, he decided. If Karma had to be friends with someone, he was glad it was Shouto. 

At night, though, that was the real fun part… when he and Karma shared his just big enough bed, entangled beneath the sheets and lost in each other. While they hadn't gone further than making out and roaming hands, they liked where they were at. Neither one was quite ready for more, so it was a good thing they had going. 

Right now, it was four in the afternoon, Karma was all sprawled out on Gakushuu's bed in nothing but a plain white tee and his boxers while playing on his ds when his phone buzzed, but he was far too hot and focused to bother with it. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't important since Gakushuu was with him and his daddy still wasn't really on speaking terms with him. Then it buzzed again, and again, and finally Gakushuu, who had been sitting in his desk chair reading, couldn't take it anymore and snatched it from the charger. 

**Hina**  
Heyyyy! Did u hear from Rio?

**Hina**  
She still hasnt been responding so i was jw!

**Hina**  
No rush!! Just lmk :)

**Hina**  
Also!! we shud hang out sometime! Me u Rio and Gakushuu!

“Karma,” Gakushuu got his attention and then relayed all the texts back to him. All he got in response was a noncommittal hum. “Do you want me to say anything back?”

Sighing, the redhead closed his ds and sprang up, grabbing his phone and typing out a reply. 

**Karma**  
Ah, sorry, I completely spaced. She usually texts me first and I've been kind of busy. I'll text her now and let you know what she says. Maybe!

Then he composed a message to Rio. 

**Karma**  
Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. You good?

**Rio**  
Hey… ya, sorry. I um… Ive just been sick and spending time with Rome and shit. 

**Karma**  
It's cool. Anyway, your friend Hinano (I met her a few days ago at the ramen place with Shuu and it was not a good time) has been asking about you… wanting to know why you aren't texting her or anyone else. You don't have to tell me, but you should let your friends know you're alright. They're worried. So am I. Are you sure everything is okay?

**Rio**  
You met Hina? Sry if she said anything weird. You never said Gakushuu came back. How is Mr. Ice prince doing? Did he break your limbs? lol. Ya, Ive just been sick, yknow? Rome can vouch for me lol hes been taking care of me. Im fine, but can we hang out tonight? Ive missed you. Rome wants to see you too.

**Karma**  
I did. She seemed nice I guess. Nah, not really lol don't worry about it. Yep, Shuu came back after I sent that message and I seriously thought he was gonna kill me, but things worked out for the best. He met Shouto and I think they're warming up to each other :) no he didn't break my bones, dipshit:p he's actually a really good guy. Okay, just know you can talk to me. Yeah if you're up for it, what time? Rome…? Why?

**Rio**  
Shes rly nice just super gossipy lol. Ok lol. Ohh y didnt you tell me?? That's good, though, I'm glad you two worked things out :) Shouto is a cutie :3 well you never kno with that one haha! Ya Karma I kno. Thank you :) great! Uh… 7? We can get dinner and then bring it to my place? Ah I forgot he attempted to assault you… I understand if you dont wanna see him! God hes so dumb. 

**Karma**  
I could definitely see that. I didn't think about it! A lot has been going on since he's come back and we've just been making up for lost time, I guess. Me too :) ain't he? I just wanna squeeze him lol. Ha ha you're so funny :p alright, you wanna pick me up down the street around seven? Or should I have Shuu drop me off at your house? I still don't have my car otherwise I would drive. Uh, yeah… I mean, things are okay between us, but like… I dunno, I don't think I'm ready to see him again yet. 

**Rio**  
Excuses excuses ;) right lol. Uh I can pick you up! I still dont get why Dr. ASSano hates me so much! Dont bother ice prince lol. I understand Karma its ok. Ya totally get it. Id feel the same. Ill tell him to make himself scarce 

**Karma**  
Shuu wouldn't mind, but okay. He doesn't HATE you, he just… very strongly dislikes you :) Thank you, Rio. See you around seven!

Not bothering to look at the reply, he returned his phone to the charger and flopped back onto the bed, resuming his game. As he played, he couldn't help but wonder what Rio expected of him… sex was a no go, not when he had Gakushuu right within his grasp. Why would he ruin that for someone he didn't really like in a romantic sense? Sure, he liked Rio as a friend and would always be there for her because that's what friends did, but other than that… they couldn't be intimate anymore. It had to be just friends, or nothing at all. Lost in his game and thoughts, he didn't notice that Gakushuu had settled down on the floor by his feet, just sitting there reading. It was tempting to go through Karma's messages, but he didn't… well, not until he saw the new message from Rio pop up on the screen. 

**Rio**  
He hates me and you know it dipshit:p Great see you at seven babe!

Who hated her? Why was Rio calling Karma babe? Why was Rio going to see Karma at seven? What the hell was going on? Why was his stomach twisting into knots… it was worse than when he thought he hated Karma. This feeling was very unpleasant and he wished to get rid of it. Glancing up at Karma, he saw the boy intently concentrating on his ds, so Gakushuu decided to take a peek at the earlier messages and nearly lost his damn mind. “Who is Rome and what the fuck did he do to you?” Gakushuu turned abruptly and grabbed Karma's leg, positively seething because _no one_ was allowed to hurt his Karma!! 

Startled by the question and sudden fingers digging into his thigh, he jumped before fully processing what just happened. Shit. Did Gakushuu really go through his messages? Not that he wasn't used to that, but he didn't expect Gakushuu to do it, too… then again, he probably shouldn't be surprised, because the guy probably didn't know any better considering how he was raised. “Why did you go through my messages?”

“Because I saw something that concerned me. Now answer the goddamn questions: who is Rome and what the fuck did he do to you?” Their eyes met and Karma felt himself shrinking under that dark, piercing gaze, caving almost immediately. Fuck, his best friend could be so fucking scary sometimes. Once he was done explaining the basics about how Rome had been highly intoxicated and tried to take advantage of Karma while Rio was showering, Gakushuu was up on his feet and at his computer. “I will _destroy_ him.”

Okay, that was really sweet and all, but Karma didn't want anything bad to happen to Rome… sure it was a total asshole move, but he was intoxicated and going through a bad break up. “No, Shuu, I'm fine. Please don't make a big deal about this. Don't do anything to destroy him!” When Gakushuu continued looking up this Rome person and going through his social media profiles with that scarily determined look in his almost dangerous, narrowed violet eyes, Karma got up and pulled Gakushuu away from his computer, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look into his eyes. “Nothing happened. He was drunk. All he did was pin me down and kiss me, that was it. I _told_ you, I punched him before he could do anything else.”

Violet eyes dark and unwavering, boring into Karma's own, as if _daring him_ to keep defending that jackass and what he did to him. “Don't make fucking excuses for him,” Gakushuu snapped, “He _hurt_ you,” his voice cracked just slightly, angry tears brimming his eyes. 

God, Karma's heart was hammering in his chest, he didn't think he'd ever have someone care for him in such a genuine way… who would have thought Gakushuu Asano would be on the verge of tears just because someone had attempted to sexually assault Karma Akabane? To say Karma was surprised, and kind of happy, would be an understatement. This was… this was a lot. No one had ever showed so much concern for his well being before and he just wanted to hug the person responsible. So he did. Karma draped his arms around Gakushuu's shoulders and nuzzled into his soft, warm neck. “I'm okay. Thank you for your concern, but I assure you that I'm okay and that it won't happen again.”

At this, Gakushuu tensed and looped his arms around Karma's waist, pulling him close. “Damn right it won't because I'm coming with you.” Karma blinked, confused, asking him to repeat that because what? “I said I'm coming with you.”

“I appreciate it, but I don't need a bodyguard, Shuu… I can handle myself just fine.”

But Gakushuu shook his head, embracing him tighter because no fucking way was he letting Karma go into that situation alone: Rio or not, he wanted to be there, just to make sure. “I won't say anything, please just let me accompany you. It would make me feel better.” When Karma still didn't seem convinced, Gakushuu added almost smugly. “And it will also make me feel less inclined to tell my father where you will be sneaking off to.”

The nerve…! Knowing he didn't have a choice in the matter, Karma slumped down in defeat, sighing. “Fine. But if you say anything mean to Rio, I will kick you out of the house.”

Obviously glad that he won, Gakushuu loosened his hold and pet Karma's head in an almost condescending manner. “Got it.”

xx

Since Gakushuu was coming, too, he decided to just have him drive his car so Rio didn't have to waste gas; she definitely wasn't too thrilled that Gakushuu was coming along with them, but when Karma explained the reasoning, she actually seemed rather at ease. Looks like she wanted some backup, too, and Rome probably wouldn't come around if there was another guy there. So they picked up some ramen and headed over to Rio's house. When they arrived, Gakushuu couldn't help but glare when he saw someone who was definitely not Rio peering at them through the window of one of the rooms. “He's harmless, Shuu,” Karma reassured gently, kissing Gakushuu's cheek before getting out, bags of food in hand while Gakushuu handled the carrier of drinks. 

As much as Gakushuu wanted to protest that he clearly wasn't harmless given his intentions that night he'd assaulted Karma and just how far he got with him, he simply shut off his car and followed Karma to the front after locking his doors. Rio opened the door for them and Gakushuu couldn't help but stare; she looked… different. Exhausted and stressed out, pale and a bit unkempt. Ah, right, Karma had said she'd been sick. “You're not contagious are you?” He asked as he stepped inside, removing his shoes as she grabbed the carton from him. 

“Nah, the doctors said I'll be fine with rest and hydration,” she grinned. “I'm feeling just fine, though, thank you for asking.”

Face neutral, he spoke in his monotonous voice that he normally did around people he didn't like, showing that he wasn't interested in them. “I didn't ask.” Yes, he understood the sarcasm; he knew she was just being facetious, but he didn't care. When Karma nudged him, he sighed, rolling his eyes just slightly. “Yes, yes; I'll keep my mouth shut.” Because he needed to stay in the house so he could protect his best friend… he couldn't do that if he was kicked out for bad behavior. Being bossed around was annoying, but he was an uninvited guest in someone's home, so he just had to suck it up and pretend that he wouldn't rather shoot himself in the foot than be there. This was all for Karma, he had to remind himself, to protect him. 

“Wow,” she hummed, nodding with respect towards Karma as they walked up the stairs. “I like him better this way.”

Before Gakushuu could retort, Karma sighed, “I knew this was a bad idea. Both of you behave, we didn't come here to fight.” And because they both knew how he felt about fighting, they silently called for a truce for the duration of their time together: Karma feeling safe and happy was more important than any petty grudges they held against each other. 

Settling down on the couch, Rio looked towards the two of them, curiosity in her bright blue eyes; they sure seemed cozy with each other. “So you two are like… friends again?” They nodded, unsure as to why that was so hard to fathom. “Boys sure get over shit quicker than girls. If I said half of that shit to my friends, they wouldn't talk to me for at least a month.”

“Yeah, well…” Karma shrugged, not sure how to describe it. Sure he was mad, but then all that shit happened and Gakushuu was really being open and vulnerable with him… he just couldn't stay mad at the guy. “They were mostly empty threats…”

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say because as soon as the words left his mouth, Rome came into the room scowling. “He's the asshole who said that shit to you?”

“That's the asshole who attempted to rape you?” Gakushuu was quick to retort and Karma nearly dropped his ramen. Seeing Rome again was a lot… too much, maybe. Memories from that night flashed through his mind, reminding him of how helpless and afraid he'd been in that situation; his heart was racing with anxiety and he didn't know what to do. Thankfully Gakushuu was quick to reign Karma back in by placing his hand on his shoulder while Rio got up and pushed her brother back, ignoring his protests of wanting to 'fuck that little prick up' or whatever. “Please?” Gakushuu looked over, eyes narrowed and mouth twisted into a half snarl-half scowl. 

Knowing exactly what Gakushuu wanted, Karma shook his head stubbornly, “No, it's fine. Please, just…” He scooted closer, reveling in the warmth Gakushuu provided as he lowered his arm down and wrapped it around Karma's waist. “Thank you.” Karma closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. 

They parted before Rio could come back, not wanting to stir anything up or have her spread any rumors; who knew what she would do. “Sorry about that,” she said sheepishly as she plopped down beside Karma, returning to her food. “He's an idiot. Please, don't mind him.”

After that, they ate in comfortable silence, focusing on the TV rather than speaking so they could eat. It really was just like a normal night, everything was peaceful and relaxed. Everything just felt… right. Calm. Too calm. It was almost eerie. But nothing really happened; they simply ate their ramen, occasionally speaking to each other or making fun of the show. Rio hadn't realized that Gakushuu had a sense of humor until she actually found herself genuinely laughing so hard that it hurt at his jokes. Even Gakushuu had smirked a few times at her own, and Karma felt a surge of pride well up in him, knowing that they were attempting to get along for his sake. God, he really did have amazing friends. 

Once they were finished eating and had their trash all haphazardly thrown into the bags they'd come in, Gakushuu looked to Rio. “Where is your bathroom?”

“Down the hall, second door on your right.” 

The second he disappeared from their sight, he pretended to go into the bathroom but actually went into the only room with a light on. Now, he normally wasn't such a petty man, not quick to resort to violence, but he really needed to punch this asshole. So he steeled himself and barged in without knocking. Furious blue eyes met his own and he nearly lost it right then and there. Closing the door behind him, Gakushuu looked at the man who had assaulted the only person he'd ever felt something positive towards, pure disdain in those violet orbs. “I'm only going to say this once, so listen carefully,” Gakushuu growled out lowly, making sure he was quiet enough so that the two occupants in the living room wouldn't hear them. “You ever touch Karma again, and I will ruin you. Do you understand me?”

“Funny, coming from someone who threatened to wring his neck, if I recall correctly? Which one of us does he really need to worry about, here?” Rome shot back, not even slightly afraid of this kid. What? Did this pathetic little sixteen year old really think he was even remotely intimidating? If so, he was sadly mistaken; Rome could take him any day of the week.

Smirking, Gakushuu inched closer, fists clenched by his sides and just aching to sock this piece of shit. “At least when I kiss him, he _wants_ it.” As expected, this not only caught the guy off guard, but also seemed to piss him off quite a bit. “If you knew anything about Karma, you would know force isn't the answer. What you did is disgusting, and the only reason I'm not doing anything about it is because Karma is too nice for his own good, but I'm warning you,” he seethed, “If you even think about touching him, or even talking to him again, you will sorely regret it.”

Now Rome was getting pissed off, but he couldn't hit a minor… that could end in jail time and he did not want to lose his scholarship over this. So, for now, two could play at this game. “Riiight,” he smirked, “Like you could actually do shit. Kid, I'm not the one you have to worry about. It's Rio; she's the one fucking him. God, it was all that did when they were here. On the wall, in the shower, on the couch, in her bed.” Those narrowed violet eyes went wide with what Rome could only assume to be anger and jealousy, glancing at the door, as if wondering if they were going at it since he was gone. “Karma is quite loud when he wants to be. Just hearing his moaning and grunting, God… porn worthy. I've been set for masturbation material all summer.”

Only Karma could make Gakushuu lose his cool like this; he hated when anyone looked down on or insulted his best friend. “Don't you _dare_ speak about him in such a way; he was merely using her as an outlet.” This guy was fucking sick and it was pissing Gakushuu off to no end! “Good lord, you're a sick pervert! Karma is sixteen years old, just thinking about him in such a lewd manner is fucking disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself!” Sure Gakushuu had done the same thing, but that was different, they were the same age… Rome was in college. Ugh, that was gross. “Trying to take advantage of a teenager, bet that made you feel _real_ good.”

That last comment had Rome bristling; this kid really knew how to piss people off. “You weren't there. You don't know what happened, you little asshole,” Rome snarled, getting to his feet, ready to pounce at any second. “The next morning, he kissed me, said he'd give me another chance. Even talked to me about you,” he huffed out a laugh, “You're so damn immature if you think threatening him is an okay thing to do when you so clearly upset him enough to have sex with my sister. Something he didn't _want_ to do again, but needed an outlet. Some friend you are,” he poked his finger to Gakushuu's chest, pushing him back slightly. 

“We both made mistakes, but we've talked it out and we're better than okay, now. You, on the other hand…” Gakushuu pushed the guy out of his bubble, snarling slightly. It was becoming more and more difficult not to lose to his rage; not to lose his composure. The damn _things_ Karma could do to him… it was unreal. Losing control and letting his anger take over and consume him was extremely out of character for him, yet here he was, teetering on the edge of control. “He didn't even want to come over because he was so freaked out about seeing the man who attempted to _rape_ him.”

“I didn't try to fucking rape him!” Rome nearly shouted, pushing Gakushuu back into the wall, making him hit his head on the doorframe of his closet. “Stop talking like you know shit!”

Slightly disoriented, Gakushuu shook his head, trying to ignore the throbbing; he hadn't intended to get caught off guard like that, but he was just so angry and let his emotions get the better of him. “I _do_ know shit! And I know Karma better than you ever could. What you did, that _hurt him_ and he's not so easily hurt. Karma is brave and strong and tough, but you reduced him to a ball of shame and anxiety… he was so panicked when he was telling me about what you did to him. And yet he _still_ tried to defend your actions; like just because you were drunk, that made it all fucking okay! But it's not! It's not okay! You hurt my friend and I want nothing more than to fucking put you in your place, you pathetic fucking pervert!” 

The fist coming towards his face was expected, and he caught it, but the knee to the gut was not something he had anticipated. But Gakushuu had been through worse, he'd taken beatings far worse than anything this fucker could dish out, so he regained his composure and started fighting because he would never let this asshole touch Karma again. Dodge, dodge, kick, dodge, punch, duck, punch, kick, dodge. This was going nowhere; both were getting hits in, but no one was going down if things continued like this. Even if the guy was bigger than him, Gakushuu knew he just had to be trickier; like grabbing a rather large hardback textbook to use as a shield, and then hitting the asshole upside the head with it. Not hard enough to kill him, just enough to disorient and pin him to the ground, choking him out to the point he couldn't breathe. 

Sure he could just use a pressure point to knock him unconscious, but where was the fun in that? This man needed to suffer, because he hurt Karma, and no one could hurt Karma. Not if Gakushuu could help it. So he would make sure this asshole would never forget the painful consequences of hurting Karma Akabane. The wrath of Gakushuu Asano was never a pretty thing, and Rome was experiencing it first hand. “Touch Karma again, and you will fucking wish you were dead by the time I'm through with you,” he whispered into Rome's ear, voice low and full of venom. 

With that, he roughly released him and allowed the asshole to cough and choke to his heart's content, opening the door and about to leave when Rome started laughing. “He'll never love you…” The words he heard next were nearly drowned out by Karma sobbing. But he heard them. Loud and clear. Rome knocked the wind out of Gakushuu without even touching him. He turned to the man, clutching at his aching chest. This wasn't a clever ruse to rile him up. It was the honest to god truth. And the truth hurt. Badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I love Shuu... if only he’d stay like this. Sorry to leave it on a sort of cliffhanger, but I feel like it’s not too hard to figure out what comes next. Shit gets real next chapter. Should be up tomorrow. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments, I appreciate it.


	40. Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened with Karma and Rio while Gakushuu was 'in the bathroom'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here the next chapter is. Sorry for any mistakes; I rewrote some of the parts more than a few times and it’s about as good as it’s gonna get. As far as editing goes, it may be a little messy. I’ll come back and fix it if it’s too bad, I just need to get it out while I can. Updates may be once a week, not sure. No promises. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

After Gakushuu shut the bathroom door, Rio scooted closer to Karma and cuddled up to him, nuzzling into his neck. When he tried to move away, she locked him in place. “I missed you…” she said finally. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you again.”

“Uh… yeah, Rio… look, we can't… we can't do this anymore,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to remove her hand teasing at his lower half. “I really like you and all, but…” He wasn't sure how to let her down easy, because Rio was a go getter… she didn't give up if she wanted something enough. She would persuade him to stay and fuck with his head and make him even more confused than he already was. Her blue eyes locked in on his own as she batted her long eyelashes and twirled her long, wavy blonde hair around her finger; his two apparent weaknesses when it came to Rio. Every time she did this, it never failed to make his heart stutter; and he didn't even know why! This wasn't fair…! But he had to do it… he couldn't lead her on. “I like Gakushuu, though… romantically,” he admitted softly, trying to escape the embrace, but to no avail. 

First, silence surrounded them; it was tense, heavy, not like anything Karma had ever felt around Rio before. For the first time in a while, he felt… scared to be in her presence. Because how the hell was she going to react? This kind of tension wasn't good on his heart. Second, she pulled away and smiled, almost longingly. “I know. I probably knew before you two idiots figured it out…” she laughed softly. Of course she knew… it wasn't hard to tell with either one of them. For whatever reason, Gakushuu made Karma happy, and she wasn't going to ruin that. “I love you, Karma…” Just to put it out there; just so he knew. When he went rigid, she simply sighed before shaking her head. “Don't worry, I won't try to come between you two or anything, all I want is for you to be happy.” Even if she did want him, if he didn't want her, she would respect that.

Oh. Oh, shit. That was unexpected. “Thank you,” Karma hugged her, surprised by her kindness and willingness to let him go. “You're a good friend, and I'm sorry if I led you on, I just… I'm not good at relationships,” he shrugged helplessly. “You were my first, and… I didn't really understand my feelings, so, I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way.”

Pulling away, she sat back, running her fingers through her long blonde hair, an exhausted look on her face. Before Karma could ask what was wrong, she smiled. “Enough of that nonsense. Don't apologize. We're fine.” Karma nodded, so earnest and visibly relieved. Like he was genuinely happy for that they could remain friends. Shit. She didn't want to lose him, but…“I um…” No. Not yet. She trailed off and changed the subject. “So how is Shouto?” As always, he lit up at the mention of his little Shouto, telling her all the good things that had happened, and a little bit of the bad things, and how much they'd bonded since they'd met. He was so enthralled with it that he didn't seem to realize the noises coming from the back room. Shit… Gakushuu wasn't in the bathroom. He was in Rome's room. Shit! But she didn't want to freak Karma out, so she kept his attention on her and Shouto, discreetly turning the volume up on the tv as she did so. “He seems like a good kid.” 

“God, yes…” He sighed, dropping his head into his hands. “Such a good kid. I wish I could adopt him…” Anything to get him away from Enji. 

Rio blinked at this. What? Shit. This made things so much more complicated. She had to tell him. She had to let him know. It was a secret she'd wanted to take to her grave, but… she felt like she had to tell him. “You really like kids, huh?”

“I do…” He smiled warmly. Oh so very warmly. It made her insides turn to mush. Fuck. Why did Karma have to do this to her? He was making this so hard. Of course she wanted something more with him, but… not like this. She didn't want to win him like this. “Shouto is the only one who's really taken to me, though.”

“I'm sure if you went out more, they would be all over you… you'd be a good dad, I bet.” Shit. She was digging a hole. A deep hole. Shit! What the hell was she doing? God dammit she wanted to cry. 

Karma blushed at this. “No… I don't think so,” he grinned sheepishly. “As much as I'd like to be, I just… couldn't.” His golden eyes were sad… distraught. God damn, she'd never seen him look so emotionally beat up aside from the first night they had sex… the night they… shit. “I'm too…” Fucked up. Worthless. Useless. Used. But he didn't finish, he simply looked at his hands in shame. 

Fuck. She had to. She had to say it before he started crying. “I um… Karma, I have to tell you something…”

He blinked at her. “Yes?”

“I don't want this to change things between us…” He nodded, eyebrows furrowed and a confused look on his face. “Promise?” Another nod, and he even stuck his pinky out; that was adorable. As they locked pinkies, she let out her breath. Shit… here goes nothing. She could only hope he didn't freak out too bad. “Karma… I'm um… I'm pregnant.” 

If possible, Karma's face went paler than it already was. Their pinkies were still locked together, but tighter, he was hanging on almost desperately “Wh-What?” He squeaked out. “This is a joke, right? You're… you're joking, right!?” No. No! This couldn't be happening! There was no fucking way! They'd used condoms! As far as he could see, none of them broke, and… FUCK! No, he wasn't ready to be a dad. He couldn't be a dad. He was too fucked up. He couldn't do this. He couldn't. _He. Couldn't._ Tears streaming down her face, she shook her head and fully grabbed his hand, holding his shaking one gently. Seeing him like this was agonizing and she didn't know what else to do other than help comfort him. This boy had been through so much shit… he had a terrible stepfather, and Rio knew it. That man ruined Karma. But this… this one thing, it could help. This could make him happy, maybe…! “N-No… you… I… you're…?” No comprehensive thoughts came to mind; sentences wouldn't form. Fuck! All he could do was shake and look at her stomach… where his fucking baby was apparently growing. Shit. What was he going to do?

“This is why I've been sick… morning sickness and stress…” She pulled a sheet of paper out from under the coffee table, a professional looking piece of paper. Signed by a professional doctor. With the words: positive blood test. _Shit._ Positive pregnancy test. _Shit…!_ Positive. Pregnant. _Shit!_ Rio. Nakamura. Fuck! Fuck…! He started crying; he was going to be a dad. _Karma_ was going to be a _dad_. Oh shit; he was gonna fucking _die_. His daddy was gonna kill him. His life was fucking over. But… there was a small part of him that was happy, happy he created something beautiful… happy he was going to be a dad. Happy he could maybe do something good with his life. Be the dad he never had. Hell, be the parent he never had. 

Realization flooded his brain; this was real. This was very, very real. “ _Shit._ ” That pretty much summed up their whole situation. 

They stared at each other for a moment before Rio spoke again. “I was going to get an abortion, without telling you, but…” He deserved to know the truth… and if he wanted a child, she wouldn't take that away from him. She couldn't. 

“No!” He shook his head, raising his voice slightly, hands trembling and eyes wide with horror. “You can't kill them! You…” That was selfish… it wasn't his body. It wasn't his choice. And it wasn't like he could afford it on his own… his daddy would be pissed, he'd get kicked out of school, Gakushuu would hate him…! God, everyone would be so disappointed in him. But… _but_ … he wanted the baby. He couldn't just abandon them… he didn't want them to die. “I don't…” Their eyes met; he looked so incredibly distraught. He lurched forward and just hugged her, unsure of what to do with all these conflicting feelings and emotions. 

Rio smiled warmly, petting his head and holding him as gently as she could… he wanted to be a dad, but he was scared. “I don't want an abortion,” she whispered softly, “I really don't… but Rome said our parents will make me and…!” Suddenly she was bawling because even though she didn't want to be a mom, she didn't want to get rid of their baby, either… it was their mistake, why punish the child for that? Karma was rich, he could afford a child, and so could Rio… but not without the help of her parents, who would disown her if they found out. “Karma, I'm so fucking scared…!”

“It's okay,” he ran his fingers through her soft blonde hair. Even though he was just as terrified and conflicted and stressed out, he tried to be strong for her. “It's okay… whatever you want to do, it's okay…”

Times like these reminded her of why she fell in love with this idiot. Karma was truly amazing. “I don't want to get rid of them… I'm already like almost eleven weeks along, Karma… it's growing, it's grown and I…!” Her voice broke again, crying into Karma's chest and clinging to him for dear life. “I can't get rid of it… even if they want me to.” Not now. Her conscience wouldn't let her. Not after she heard the heartbeat. Not after she saw the sonogram pictures. And just knowing that Karma wanted to keep the baby… it only made her decision that much easier. Their baby would be in good hands with him, she knew that much for sure, and she could always visit, even if they weren't together. “Do you want to keep it?”

Karma froze, heart trying to beat out of his chest as he thought on it… she didn't want an abortion, and he didn't want to put the child in foster care, or to be given to people he didn't know or trust—people who could be abusive or mean or disgusting—then there was only one option he felt was safe. “I do…” It felt right, saying those words. “I want to be a dad.”

“It'll be a lot of work… and crying… and screaming…” Rio sniffled, not trying to talk him out of it, just letting him know. “Snotty noses and shitty diapers and spit up and blowouts at two in the morning…” Karma just nodded, none of it deterring him; with him, their child would be safe. As awful as his daddy could be, he would never hurt a baby… he would get over it. And if he didn't, he would kill Karma before the baby was born, so he didn't have to worry that way either. “All while you're in high school, trying to stay on top.” He didn't give a shit about being on top… he just… he wanted to ensure his child's safety and happiness. “And your stepdad won't be happy, you know this… you'll have to move out.” Maybe, maybe not. But he felt if it was in the best interest of the baby, he would be able to leave: he wasn't twelve anymore. As much as he loved his daddy, he already loved his unborn child more. But he nodded anyway. “I won't be there… I'm not, I'm not ready to be a mom, Karma.”

“That's okay,” he whispered, “All of it is okay. You don't have to do anything. Not even child support. I promise I will give our baby their best chance at life, Rio. I swear on my life, just please… _please_ don't give them up,” he pleaded, crying yet again. “If they end up in an abusive home, or unhappy, or feeling abandoned because they find out they were adopted…! I'll never forgive myself.”

She smiled… genuinely and happily, because she knew Karma was taking this seriously. He thought it out, even in this short amount of time. “Okay… okay,” she hugged him tightly. “I trust you.”

They hugged for a few more moments, everything really sinking in for them. Karma was bawling all over again thinking about how happy he was… “I'm gonna be a dad,” he laughed and cried at the same time. All these emotions were swarming around inside him, but the most prominent one was excitement. “I'm gonna be the best dad I can be… I promise.” Whatever happened, he would protect that child with his life; he swore it. 

After a minute or so, they parted and Karma suddenly remembered Gakushuu was in the house, too. Why was he taking so long? Where was he? Oh shit…! _Please tell me he didn't…!_ But before he could say anything, or even get up, Gakushuu was walking down the hall, all disheveled: hair awry and sticking out in multiple directions, a bruise blooming on his jaw, blood on his nose and hands, and clothes all wrinkled and shifted awkwardly. “We need to leave.”

Rio blinked at him. “Did you hurt my brother?”

“He punched me first,” Gakushuu defended, a vacant look in his violet eyes, face completely blank as he looked at Karma. “We need to leave,” he repeated. 

“Gakushuu, what did you do?” Karma furrowed his eyebrows, almost scared to see his best friend look so out of it. Did he… did he hurt Rome? How badly?

Yet again, he was met with the same response, more urgent this time. “We _need_ to _leave_.” The finality of his tone and look of dominance on his face left absolutely no room for argument, only obedience. Karma got to his feet, making sure he had everything before looking back at Rio. “ _Karma!_ ” Said male jumped, startled by the sudden loud, aggressive and demanding tone. Rio looked worried, but said nothing… she could hear her brother coughing, which meant he was okay, but Gakushuu must've heard their conversation. That was the only explanation for his behavior… he clearly liked Karma more than he was letting on. 

Karma made his way over quickly, intertwining their fingers and following behind Gakushuu like a lost puppy, giving her a meek wave before pretty much getting yanked forward and disappearing down the stairs. “Text me to let me know you made it home… we can talk more later.” There was murmuring, and the only response she got was a small, affirmative hum before the door slammed shut. “Rome…!” She ran back to her brother's room, shocked to see him worse for wear: blood running down his nose and mouth, and a large bruise forming on his neck. Gakushuu really was terrifying. “What did you do?” Gakushuu didn't lose his temper easily, and her brother knew how to piss people off. 

“I told him the truth,” he smirked, despite being in a shitload of pain. “And the truth hurts, I guess.”

Rio kicked her brother in the leg before going to her room, slamming the door and just trying to breathe as she held her stomach. Stress wasn't good on the baby… and she wanted them to be healthy. Even if she wasn't going to be the one looking after them, she still cared for them… from now on, it wasn't just herself that she had to worry about. But the baby, and Karma, too. Sure he wasn't hers either, but she loved him, and she would let him go if that made him happy. Beforehand, Karma was always so sad… but with Gakushuu in his life, he actually seemed a little brighter. Maybe not completely happy, but not so sad or despondent, either. 

And Karma deserved happiness. 

He deserved the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karma’s gonna be a dad... yay?
> 
> This doesn't mean Rio is suddenly in the story a lot more. I mean, her and Karma will inevitably get a little closer given the circumstances, but she won’t be trying to come between Karma and Gakushuu; I don’t think that’s something she would do. All she wants is for Karma to be happy. Love her, but she doesn't really pertain to the story too much; I just needed the baby for the future. 
> 
> I think the high school arc of this should be finished up within the next 5 chapters? Give or take. It depends. Pace should pick up soon. 
> 
> Also, I really want to thank those of you who have stuck with this… I kind of went overboard with this fic, and I know it hasn't been all that great at times, but I'm trying. Well, anyway, I hope you're enjoying this. Thank you so much for reading, kudos, and comments. It means a lot.


	41. Everything's Gonna be Just Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakuhou establishes some rules, Karma and Gakushuu hang out with Shouto, and then Karma finally comes clean to Gakuhou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, didn’t mean to wait this long to update... I’m just never sure when to cut off the chapter because I’m indecisive, so it takes forever to decide and then I keep putting it off. But yeah. Here this is. Not much, but it’s something. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Silence enveloped them. The drive home was silent. The walk inside was silent. The way to their room was silent. They stayed silent as they grabbed a change of clothes, didn't even look at each other. Just silence. 

While Gakushuu cleaned up the blood on his face and tended to his injuries, Karma hopped in the shower. A short one, just five minutes, and he tried not to think about anything. His head was a mess and all he could think was 'I'm going to be a dad' and 'Gakushuu is pissed at me'. What was he supposed to do? What teenager would want to date another teenager with a baby on the way? This was a major setback, but Karma didn't regret it… maybe it would have been better if he was older, but… this was okay. He could handle it. Even if his daddy wasn't thrilled, he could always go to Gakuhou; yeah, he'd be disappointed, but he wouldn't beat him for it. It felt like he was buzzing; with anxiety, with excitement, with disbelief. Karma was going to be a dad; he couldn't help but smile at the thought. 

When he stepped out, Gakushuu was still there, hands gripping the sink and eyes trained on his reflection. If he wouldn't break the silence, Karma would. “Shuu…”

“I'm not angry with you,” Gakushuu clarified softly, trying to keep his voice level. But a lot happened that night, so forgive him for failing. Like, how the hell was he supposed to feel? Yeah, Karma was going through so much more than him, but this situation affected him, too, and he just… he didn't know what to do. “Just… confused. I'm sorry, this is just… it's a lot. And I know you want what's best for everyone, but…” Violet met gold, both were red rimmed and puffy; but Gakushuu looked so broken while Karma looked at least somewhat hopeful. “Karma, you're sixteen… you have your whole life ahead of you, and…” Will I still be apart of it if you have this baby? Will you choose Rio because she's the mother of your child? He knew those were selfish thoughts but… Karma was his first love, and he wanted to be with him eventually. But now… now everything was so complicated and stressful and…! “I'm worried.” Was this really the right decision? 

Smiling, Karma wrapped his towel around his waist and made his ways towards Gakushuu, hugging him gently. “I'm terrified… I know this will be a lot of work, and I know I'm still young, but… this will be the only chance I have to actually, y'know…” he trailed off, “Have a baby of my own. Rio was the only girl I liked, and my feelings towards her aren't like the ones I have for you.” Confessing like this and under these circumstances was far from ideal, but he needed to get it out. “And I'll have help… Rio will still help at least somewhat, and your dad, and my other friends… and you'll still be by my side, won't you?” A beat, and then a firm nod. “We don't have to date yet, we still have a lot to figure out and learn, but… I want to share this experience with you, even if it is as just friends. Same with Rio—it's just more platonic with her.”

“Okay…” Gakushuu whispered, digging his fingers into Karma's still wet, naked back and holding him close. “I want to be there for you… in any way I can be.”

Smiling, Karma pulled away, pressing a chaste kiss to Gakushuu's lips before going back to business. “Thank you, Shuu. And uh, also… thank you for beating the shit out of Rome,” he blushed a bit, scratching at his cheek. “It means a lot that you'd do that for me.”

“I'd do it over and over again if it meant you were safe. Just… tell me when someone hurts you, okay? I'll make them regret it.” Karma smiled again, brighter this time. “You have a pretty smile,” Gakushuu muttered softly, bringing his hand up to Karma's cheek. “You should do it more.”

God… Gakushuu was a big sappy ball of mush, wasn't he? Karma loved it. “Okay…” he whispered, smiling against Gakushuu's lips before kissing him deeply, almost desperately. He needed this. He needed a distraction. Because as cool as he was playing it, he was internally freaking out. This whole thing was beyond fucking scary and he didn't know what to do… when should he tell? _Who_ should he tell? Was he going to be a good dad? Was he going to fuck it up? Was the baby better off with someone else? But Karma shook the thoughts away, Gakushuu forcing them to stay away when he pushed Karma up against the wall and molded their mouths together with fervor, with so much passion it made Karma go weak in the knees.

Just as Gakushuu was about to remove the towel, there was a knock on the door. “I have been lenient with you two so far, but I would like to discuss some ground rules so long as Karma will be staying with us. Hurry up.” 

Both boys blushed, pulling away from each other and quickly going about their business… Karma drying off and dressing while Gakushuu showered. Shit; they were in trouble, and they didn't know how this conversation was going to go. Dammit, they were already under so much stress and this was just adding to it…! But they accepted their fate… they were lucky he hadn't barged in and pulled one of them out or something. Once they were both dressed and ready to go, Karma looked like he was about to throw up, so Gakushuu kissed his cheek, murmuring softly into his ear, “It'll be okay. So long as we're together, it'll be okay.” Karma nodded, taking Gakushuu's hand as they headed downstairs to find Gakuhou; surprisingly enough he was in the living room, sitting in the chair with a neutral look on his face. So they took their seats on the couch and braced for impact. They could do this… they could do this…!

“Boys… look at me.” Even though that was one of the last things they wanted to do, they did so anyway. 

Nope… they couldn't fucking do this. 

Before either one of them could bolt, Gakuhou hit them with a look that left them both feeling paralyzed where they sat, unable to move. “What happened? Gakushuu, why is your face bruised?” Both of them looked far too worked up for this nature of conversation, so clearly something else had happened. Something bad, he could assume. 

“I um…” He started, unsure how to finish. Where was he even going with that? Right now he was just far too stressed out with everything that was going on and couldn't think of an excuse. “I fought someone,” he admitted softly, averting his gaze. “They hurt Karma.”

Sighing, the man shook his head, as disappointed as he was, clearly Gakushuu felt he had just reason. “Okay, I trust you cleaned up your mess?”

Gakushuu froze because no, he hadn't really thought about that; Rome wouldn't tell because Gakushuu was a minor, and if he did come out about it, Gakushuu would have Karma file sexual assault charges and things would end badly for him. But he couldn't tell his father that unless he wanted to put Karma on the spot. Of course Karma put himself on the spot anyway, shifting the attention towards himself rather than his best friend, who seemed terrified under his father's calculating gaze. “A few weeks ago, someone tried to assault me… Gakushuu was only trying to make sure he wouldn't do it again, but the guy started shit… and Gakushuu finished it.”

Well… he could not fault either boy, then. It was a necessary evil. “No legal issues are about to be sent my way?”

“He won't say shit,” Karma told him, “He's 22, so…”

Okay, now this was a whole new can of worms and Gakuhou was unsure as to how he should approach it. Who had assaulted Karma? What did they do? And why was he not informed earlier? “May I have some more information?” Karma shook his head, clearly not keen on giving anymore than that… Gakushuu's face said the same. They would have to discuss it later. As for now, he had to go back to the matter at hand, some rules needed to be established. “Alright, then. For now, we should set some rules. First, do not put yourselves in situations like earlier; just, refrain from being in the bathroom at the same time, especially if one of you is showering.” With every rule, they felt themselves blushing more and more. 

1\. No being in the bathroom at the same time unless the door is open  
2\. No intimacy outside of the bedroom  
2.5. Chaste is okay, hand holding is okay, light touching is okay  
3\. Leave the bedroom door at least somewhat open, even during the night  
4\. Be courteous of the other person in the house  
5\. If you are going to be intimate, keep your clothes on  
6\. No sex of any kind  
7\. Do not put yourselves in tempting situations  
7.5. You can still share a bed, I trust you  
8\. No sneaking out of the house; tell me where you are going and who you are seeing  
9\. Be kind to each other

“Understand?” Both boys nodded. “Any complaints?” Both boys shook their heads. “Everything seems fair to you, then?” Both boys nodded again. All things considered, Gakuhou was being very lenient with them, allowing them to at least be somewhat intimate while he was there. “If the door is about closed, I will know to knock and give you ample time to compose yourselves.” They nodded again, faces still flushed. “These rules were not put in place to embarrass you or anything of the sort, just something to keep in mind. Do remember, I am here a good majority of the time. No one wants a repeat of last time, correct?” That was ideal, yes, so they both nodded. “Okay, good. I am glad we had his discussion. If you need anything else, I will be in my office.”

When he left, they looked at each other, still slightly embarrassed, before smiling almost shyly and heading upstairs to their shared room. The rules were okay with them, and number 6 didn't exactly apply to them, as they weren't even ready for something like that, but still. Both exhausted from all the excitement they'd had that night, they simply turned out the lights, curled up in bed, and fell asleep with their legs tangled and holding hands. 

This was okay. Better than okay. 

xx

After a few days of Karma talking everything out and going over things about the baby with Gakushuu, they both decided they could use a break from all this serious bullshit and decided to visit Shouto for a bit at the park. He'd been texting Karma a lot over the past few nights, telling him every single detail about his days and asking how he was and making sure everything was going well in his life: typical best friend things—at least, that was what the internet had told Shouto, who honestly had no idea how to really have friends. Unfortunately he'd been rather busy with training sessions and tutoring, so he hadn't been to the park in a while. Today was the first day he'd been there in almost a week, and he was excited that Karma would be there, too. And Gakushuu, who he still kind of felt wary towards, but was slowly warming up to. If Karma liked him, how bad could he be?

They met up at the tree around five and Shouto took a running jump towards Karma the second he spotted him, hugging him and telling him how much he'd missed him. Apparently Karma was really happy to see him too, because he hugged him really, really tight and kissed his head at least three times. It was nice. Affection was really, really nice, Shouto had come to find out. But only when it was from Karma… and his sister, he guessed. While Shouto road on Karma's back, Karma and Gakushuu were walking as close as they could while they continued down the shaded pathway. “Why are you two so close?”

“Shouto, you're literally on my back, you goof,” Karma laughed a little, shaking his head when Shouto peeked over his shoulder to look at his face. Man, he had such a nice laugh… pretty smile… and eyes. Upon realizing what he was thinking, Shouto returned to his position, burying his face in Karma's hair to hide his blush. Being who they were, both teenagers were completely oblivious to Shouto's internal struggles. “You're even closer to me than he is.” Gakushuu chuckled lightly, wondering what had gotten into Shouto. Surely he wasn't still mad about the whole upsetting Karma thing the other week. 

Eventually Shouto popped back up and peeked around Karma's shoulder again, smiling softly. “Guess what!”

“What?” Karma hummed, glancing up at him with a warm smile. Shouto was just the cutest and he hoped his baby would be just as cute and kind as him… 

“The point of 'guess what' is for you to guess, Karma. Not just ask 'what?' That takes all the fun out of it,” Gakushuu pointed out with a smirk. While he wasn't a fan of childish things such as that, he just kind of liked to tease his best friend. Ruffling his feathers and riling him up was funny. 

Pouting slightly, Karma shrugged. “Guessing 'what' is the simplest, most efficient way to find out what he's going to say. If I literally guessed, it'd take forever and a half to find out!”

As they bickered back and forth, Shouto found himself smiling fondly; his friends were so cute when they wanted to be. Just as he was about to interrupt, the kid who always bothered him did it for him. “Hey, Shouto!” He grinned, coming to a halt in front of the teenagers so that they would for sure see him and not just keep walking, as he was quite small, and people tended not to notice him. As usual, Shouto went blank faced and said nothing. How the kid figured out his name was beyond him, but he said nothing. “Um, me and my friends are going to the lake later, to do fireworks! And Ka—”

“DEKU!!” Karma flinched at the loud voice that came from behind him and nearly dropped Shouto in the process, who had done the exact same thing, going as far as covering his ears. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you to fuck off and mind your own damn business. That fucker obviously thinks he's too good for us, which is only true for you, so just leave it alone and let's go!” Suddenly the voice was coming from beside him, and the short, freckled boy with fluffy hair in front of them was being yanked away. “Fucking halfie and his stupid strawberry brother can go to hell! Same for the pumpkin head.”

The three of them watched in silence as the spiky haired blond dragged the anxious boy away, who was profusely apologizing for his friend's mean words and attitude. Once they were far enough away, Gakushuu spoke. “What an unpleasant brat. Let's hope yours doesn't turn out like that.”

“ _Gakushuu!_ ” Karma growled out, risking a glance back at Shouto, who had apparently not heard that; his ears were still covered and his eyes were shut tight. “Oh thank God…” He wasn't planning on telling Shouto for at least a little while. After all, he still needed to tell Gakuhou. Since Shouto was in his little thing, Karma reached up and pet his hair softly, gently coaxing him out of it. The kid really didn't like other people, especially those kids; apparently they were loud and pushy. Which, yeah, they were… and he couldn't blame Shouto for not wanting to befriend anyone his age, especially them. The reason he didn’t have friends his age wasn’t just because of his father, Karma had come to find out, Shouto was socially anxious and had trouble with kids his own age; honestly, he had trouble communicating with most people… but not Karma, for some reason. Strangely enough, he really, really liked Karma despite only knowing him for like a month or so. “Shou, you good?” He asked after a bit. 

It didn't take too long for him to come out of it, not since Karma was there to protect him. When he realized the two boys were gone, he let out a relieved sigh. “Sorry, I just…”

“We know,” Gakushuu assured him with a small smile, reaching over and rubbing his upper back. “You want to keep walking, or take a break and draw?” Today was about Shouto; they both knew he needed it after what he was put through at home. 

“Keep walking,” he told him, “We have lots to talk about.” So they caught up some, and Karma felt more relaxed than he had in quite some time. Leave it to his little Shouto and Gakushuu to cheer him up when he was feeling so down. Apparently the 'what' Karma was supposed to guess was that Endeavor had a fight soon, so Shouto would be free from training for a whole week; which was relieving to hear, because the kid was really going to fuck up his shoulder if he kept pushing himself like that. Not that it was his choice, as Shouto would be resting if it was up to him, but still. It was good to hear, and Shouto asked if he could stay over one of those nights… Karma wanted to say yes, but he had no idea if he'd be home and went with the safest answer: 'maybe, it depends.'

That night, they ate dinner together before dropping Shouto off at home, promising to hang out again soon. All three of them fell asleep happier and lighter than they’d been in quite some time. 

Before Karma knew it, over a week had gone by since he'd found out about the baby. It took the better half of the day, but Karma had finally mustered up the courage to confront Gakuhou about his situation with Rio. Let's just say that he was far from pleased.

“Are you kidding me, Karma!?” Gakuhou yelled at him, making Karma wince and shrink down. Yeah, he had been expecting this kind of reaction, even prepared himself for it, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Being yelled at was probably just as bad as being physically hit; hell, maybe it was worse. Just, people being upset with him in general was an awful feeling. “You said that you used protection!” Gakushuu had agreed this was a conversation meant for the two of them alone, but he was still in the house: because 'just in case'. So as soon as he heard his father yelling, he rushed into his office, every instinct in him telling him to protect Karma. The second he stepped inside, he froze in his tracks when he saw his father making that face… the same one he wore so many times looking at him after he'd fucked up: pure and utter disappointment. To see it directed towards Karma… it pissed him off. Because Karma didn't do anything wrong! It wasn't his fault the condom broke… it wasn't his fault Rio didn't take the morning after pill… it wasn't his fault at all. Maybe he shouldn't have had sex with her, but he was at such a low point in his life that Gakushuu honestly couldn't blame him. “Leave us, Gakushuu!”

“No…” he bit back, stepping in front of Karma just incase his father got any crazy ideas. “Don't yell at him. Blaming him and yelling at him isn't going to help anything!” God, he was upset about this situation, too… but putting the blame on Karma was pointless. Yelling at him would only make things worse, and his father had to have known that, so why the fuck was he doing it? “Do you have any idea how stressed he's been just thinking about this? Stop being an asshole and making him feel like shit.” Behind him, Karma was in tears, as this was a far more stressful situation for him than it was either of them. Everything was just piling up and it was hard to keep his emotions in check. Sighing, Gakushuu reached back and grabbed his best friend's hand, pulling him up next to him. “It sucks, Father. I am well aware that this situation is not ideal for any teenager, but Karma has made his decision and is doing what he thinks is right. All he's asking is that you help him out and show him a little support…”

Gakuhou was so angry that his breathing was beginning to shake; the thin wire was _so_ close to snapping. This was so infuriating; all of it! Karma got Rio Nakamura, of all people, pregnant; and as if that wasn’t bad enough, Karma wanted to keep the baby. Then there was Gakushuu, who was yelling at him and speaking so out of turn. The most angering issue was that the two of them were treating this so lightly. A child was no easy task, and he knew Tadaomi wouldn't handle the news well. At all. They all knew this… so why risk getting hurt over a child Karma could easily hide by giving it up for adoption? “Gakushuu, I am thinking _realistically_ here!” He snapped back angrily, trying to keep his cool but failing. “Have you both forgotten what happened over a month ago when Tadaomi believed you two were flirting!?” They both winced at his harsh tone, wine colored eyes narrowed at them disdainfully. “Of course I want to support Karma and be there for him, but I cannot support this decision. You are far too young, Karma, and your stepfather will lose it. He did not like Rio in the past, and if he finds out you have not only slept with her, but got her pregnant, as well… do you honestly think he is going to take that well!?”

“But—”

“There is no 'but' about it, Karma!” Gakuhou interrupted angrily. “He will lose it. Do you really want to risk your life for this, Karma? You are _sixteen_ years old; there is plenty of time to be a parent in the future, but right now you still live under his roof and I don't trust him not to hurt you or the child should you keep it. You cannot—”

“Why the hell do you think he came to you, Father!?” Gakushuu nearly snarled, taking a step towards the man despite how terrified he was. “Because he knows that! He _knows_ he has no one else to go to about this! We are both more than aware that Tadaomi will not react well… but that's why Karma wants to stay here for as long as he can, and then when he has to go back, he wants us to be there for him. Maybe we can talk some sense into him…” Underlying connotations being that _Gakuhou_ could talk things through with him and maybe threaten Tadaomi or something to that extent. Both Gakushuu and Karma knew just how cunning Gakuhou could be, and he really was their only hope when it came to this. 

“I don't want to give my child up,” Karma spoke softly, meeting Gakuhou's eyes despite how badly he wanted to look literally anywhere else. He told him how much he'd thought this through, how he weighed his options over the week and how Rio didn't want an abortion, but didn't want to be in the child's life, either. The main goal was the child's safety, and Karma only felt they would be safe in his care. Because he didn't trust anyone else to care for his child… not when he knew first hand how evil and cruel people could be. “I know I'm young, and I know it will be hard… but why make the child potentially suffer for my actions? They'll be safe with me, Gakuhou… I promise…”

While Gakuhou still didn't look convinced, he did seem to soften a little, really taking Karma's words in to consideration and thinking it over. But Gakushuu still felt he needed a little nudge in the right direction. “For whatever reason, Karma trusts and respects you… so _please_ , Father.” Gakushuu was really putting aside his pride here, acting like this towards his father, but it was for Karma's sake. And for Karma, he would do anything; absolutely anything. “Please just help him out, and stay by his side.”

With both boys facing him head on, not looking away from his piercing stare despite how badly they very clearly wanted to, he sighed. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he collapsed back into his chair and just let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I do not like this. At all,” he shook his head and pursed his lips, obviously frustrated and conflicted. “But ultimately, it is your decision, and I respect that. Karma, parenthood is not easy, especially considering the way you were raised.” When Karma looked like he was about to protest, Gakuhou held up his hand to stop him. “I am not saying you will be abusive or will allow any harm to come to your child, I am simply saying that your road will be a lot bumpier. Seeing you with Shouto, I definitely trust that you would be a good father, but Shouto is also eleven. A baby is so much more work, and I am not sure you can mentally handle this on your own.” Any argument Karma had died on his tongue; Gakuhou was just being honest and real with him, and he was right, there was no way Karma could do it on his own… not at this point. “So I will be there for you in any way that I can; be it financially, a roof over your head, should you have any questions, childcare. Anything you need, I will provide.”

Both boys lit up at this, but he did not allow them any time to speak. “That being said, you will see the school therapist at least once a week for the entire school year.” That did not sound like something he could do; if someone found out about what was happening at home, his life would get a whole lot messier. But… therapy would probably be beneficial for his child, so he simply nodded; all he had to do was keep up his act for the therapist, no problem. “Just because you have a child, that does not mean you can allow yourself to slack off in school; should I see your grades slipping too much, or your attendance drop as low as it did last year, you will not get any special treatment, Karma. You will be punished as I see fit…” Karma gulped, unsure as to how this was going to work; what exactly was considered special treatment? Surely last year he got a little bit of special treatment… there were more than a few instances he should have been at least suspended or sent down a class or two. “Do I make myself clear, Karma?”

Despite how anxious and tense he was, Karma put on his brave face and nodded, trying not to cry anymore. “Yes sir…”

Being Gakuhou, he could easily see past Karma's façade and stood up, beckoning the redhead closer. Even though Gakushuu tried to pull him back, Karma broke free and pushed forward anyway. _Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry_ , he internally scolded himself, stopping in front of the man with his head down. Almost as if he was expecting some sort of punishment, which killed both Asano's a little on the inside. So when Gakuhou suddenly pulled the unsuspecting teenager into his body and wrapped his arms around him, holding him as though he was the most precious thing in the world as he sighed into his fluffy red hair, Karma couldn't help but let out a surprised 'oomph' before breaking out into tears because this was what he wanted. This was everything a father should be… this was what he'd wanted from the beginning, but never had. Of course he had his mother, but she left him… she allowed him to get hurt. And Karma didn't want to be like that… he wanted to be a good parent and protect his child no matter what. 

Gakushuu watched with wide eyes, as his father and best friend hugged it out, Karma sobbing into his chest. This was the kind of treatment Gakushuu deserved from the beginning… but it was too late for that, now. If anyone could have his father's love, he was kind of glad it was Karma. Even if he was just a tad bit jealous, it was also a bit of an eye opener: his father really was working hard to change. Maybe… maybe that could be them one day, him and his father hugging. One day… But today was not that day; he still had a lot of growing to do, and his father had a lot of his trust to earn back. They would work their way up to that point, but for now, he was okay sharing his father with Karma, because lord knows they need each other. Smiling almost fondly, Gakushuu let out a small huff. “Okay, okay, enough of this sappy bull crap…”

Which was a mistake because, despite his tears and ruddy cheeks, Karma shot him a look full of mischief and brightness as he released his father and basically threw himself at Gakushuu, wrapping around him like a koala. “Thank you, Shuu. For everything.” Without him, Karma really didn't know what would be happening right now… he had been Karma's rock the entire week, and Karma was grateful for that. If Gakushuu had blown up and left him, he wouldn't have handled that well… like at all. But Gakushuu promised to be there for him _and_ the baby, which was more than he could ever ask him to do. But he wanted to be there… he wanted to be in their lives no matter what. Which made Karma really, really happy. 

Gakushuu rolled his eyes playfully, returning the embrace and holding Karma just as tenderly, if not more so, than his father had. “Anything for you,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to Karma's tear stained cheek. 

Yeah… Karma thought to himself, Everything's gonna be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fine... huh, Karma? 
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and comments. I appreciate you all.


End file.
